Hi Fellow Bandsters

I have a problem that is probably not unique... I am having body image problems... I just can't seem to see myself as other's are seeing me - looking good (great according to some). I was banded June 2010, have lost 80+ pounds and I am not in a loose fitting size 12.... but whenever I look in the mirror I see a "fat" girl and can't get over it... any advice?

I just was recently banded, but from what I hear at my practice's support group, that's very common. Hugs to you!

I haven't lost as much and I can see the difference but the person in the mirror looks foreign to me. Also I am getting to the point were I have to wear "normal" sized clothes. I went into a store without plus sizes and found a shirt I liked but when the salesperson asked if I needed help I put the shirt back and sort of ran out of the store. I realized I didn't feel good enough to buy normal clothes. I think I may may need a little therapy.

Hi!!! I was just banded, but even when I was thin I had body image issues. My manager lost over 100 pounds and told me that it takes a while for it to set in that you're not longer heavy....I would think maybe pulling out a before and after pic to look at??? Might make you feel a litte different. Good luck and congrats on 80 pounds!!!!

I feel you on that one , people say hey skinny , you lost a lot of weight , blah ,blah , but when I am home looking in the mirror , I still see all the fat , the weird part I can't even remember what I look like before the lap band

I'm only four months post-op but I have began taking weekly photos (front & side) so that I can see the change in pictures. It's not always apparent to me just looking at myself but so many have began commenting on my weight loss and my clothes aren't fitting so that obviously means it is apparent to them. I think comparing pictures like Eloisa suggested would be a great idea. Cameras don't lie. Good luck!

I've lost 104 pounds, and I still absolutely see myself as fat still. When I look in the mirror I still see myself as 300 pounds. It's better when I have clothe on, and I can't see the hanging skin, but I still have definite issues. I'm hoping when I hit my goal it will be a little etter, and after a tummy tuck, and the hanging skin is gone, I'll have more confidence.

I've lost 104 pounds, and I still absolutely see myself as fat still. When I look in the mirror I still see myself as 300 pounds. It's better when I have clothe on, and I can't see the hanging skin, but I still have definite issues. I'm hoping when I hit my goal it will be a little etter, and after a tummy tuck, and the hanging skin is gone, I'll have more confidence.

My doctor and I talked tummy tuck yesterday and the took the pics to submit to my insurance (def not attractive pics). I am hoping the tummy tuck helps - I am very self conscious of the hanging belly skin. Congrats on the over 100 lb weight loss

thank you all. It is good to know isn't abnormal. I am working on the self-esteem...

I just was recently banded, but from what I hear at my practice's support group, that's very common. Hugs to you!

I think I need to look into support groups in my area. Not only will it get me away from the chaos that is my family, but it may help me feel better. Congrats on your banding.

I think this is completely normal....I am the same way! I have lost 100 lbs and even though I can buy "normal" clothes I feel more comfortable shopping in the plus size....which is silly as those clothes are too big, but that is the comfort zone I have lived in for so long. It's wierd to try on clothes...but eventually I think you start to enjoy it, even if you don't "feel skinny" yet. That takes time and therapy, I think! The support groups definately help, in my experience, as the others are on the same journey you are - and at different places in it so they can give advice, etc.

Hang in there!

I was banded June 2010 as well and can wear now sizes ranges from 10 to 12 (depending on the cut). I have the same problem though - I have a hard time seeing what others see - they say I'm skinny (some even say too skinny) but I still see fat. One thing that someone told me to do was to try on something that I wore before surgery (I put on a skirt that I had before surgery - size 22) and was amazed at how big it really was and that I actually used to wear it - doing that really helped me begin to look at myself differently. I still struggle with it sometimes. Whenever I pick up something that's my size I have a hard time believing that it will actually fit - I have to make myself try it on before I leave the store or I may convince myself that it's too small when it's really not. I was shopping one day and was in the plus sizes (cause that's where I was used to being) and the sales associate said - "you know you can't fit anything on this side - this stuff is way too big for you - you need to look on the other side" (she was really nice about it too).

I struggle with it at times as well. Sometimes I put on a size 12 jeans and they're really loose and I think maybe they were mis-marked in the store? I also feel like an "imposter" shopping in the petite section.

I was just banded March 1, 2011 so I have not lost enough weight to see a huge difference but I can understand how you feel. I am not sure if this helps you any but each time you think of yourself as fat remind yourself of all the hard work and success you have had. You lost 80 lbs and you should be proud of it. Think of the money you are saving buying regular sized clothes vs the expensive oversized clothes we all have to shop for.

At my last support group the psychologist said something that really stuck in my mind and I hope it helps you feel even a little better.

"Why is it that when someone gives us a compliment about our looks we tend to shrug it off and look at ourselves negatively. Everyone here has worked hard and been successful losing weight. Next time someone gives you a compliment, instead of shrugging it off or thinking of yourselves negatively accept the compliment, you deserve it."

I know its not a direct relation but the main point is still relevant. Accept the hardwork and changes you made, you deserve it.

"Why is it that when someone gives us a compliment about our looks we tend to shrug it off and look at ourselves negatively. Everyone here has worked hard and been successful losing weight. Next time someone gives you a compliment, instead of shrugging it off or thinking of yourselves negatively accept the compliment, you deserve it."

I know its not a direct relation but the main point is still relevant. Accept the hardwork and changes you made, you deserve it.

Cubbies,

Actually it is quite relevant as that is part of my problem too. When someone compliments me I have to point out my saggy belly and that I haven't lost much in the last 2 months. I am trying to take the compliments better, but it is hard.

I am having the same issue. I do not see the same person that others see. I still see a fat girl looking back in the mirror. DH even has some of his coworkers telling him that he has a hot wife. It is so weird for me to hear things like that.