Ok, Its late and Im so P'd off right now. After the hard road ive had over the last year, and not even having restriction, I I was quite taken aback and hurt when a friend or who I thought was one decided to post my info about my surgery online.

I thought they were happy that Im losing weight and helping other people in their journey to be healthy. They are still very overweight and caught in cycle of excuses, YET I do not judge them or offer any advice because I know weight can be touchy.

I was told that I think im all that now in not so many words and I must have "forgot" where I started from. I was completely blind sided. The band is a help dont get me wrong, but Im not at restriction by a long shot and I work my but off everyday to make better choices and to be active.

Its ridiculous that someone close, that has seen how sick I became physically with my weight and had some serious heart attack, stroke scares because of my size wouldnt be happy for me. And whats so funny I am still considered obese for my height!

The psychologist told me this could happen and I thought no way, not to me! WRONG ANSWER! People think that when you get the band its magic. Its far from it and you STILL have to work at it.

Has anyone experienced changes in the attitudes of friends and family members because you are losing weight and are more confident about yourself?

Lessons I learned today:

1. Dont be mad when people show you who they really are. Consider it a gift.

2. Everybody that tell you they're happy for your weight loss and good you look, arent always telling the truth.

3. Stay focused and use this mess to push me to run even harder and reach my goals

To the OP - it sounds like you are in an amazing period in your life. Standing taller and smiling are all parts of confidence, NOT cockiness or ego! Some people, just can't handle success for someone else, if they are happy. Keep doing what you're doing - pray and work for those that ARE inspired by you and those others, well, they'll have to find another way to feel better about themselves! (and it WON'T be by bashing you!)

Also - bottom line, you do not have to make excuses or plead guilt about surgery - it's a path that you chose. You don't owe anyone anything - no explanations, no backstory, nothing!

Good luck to you - you sound like a fabulous inspirational story!

Thank you for all your comments.

I had my lapband done with a friend within one month of one another...we both just passed our one year anniversary a few months ago. I've lost over 70 lbs which isn't outstanding but I am happy with the results so far even though it hasn't been as speedy as I had hoped. She hasnt quite lost 25 lbs in all this time..and for the last month she has just quit talking to me! I've done nothing that I've known to piss her off...and I think its because Ive been more successful than her. Just a warning...if you're doing it with a friend...you may lose her on the way to you losing the weight. It hurts she is ignoring me..and won't explain to me what she is so upset about...

As far as telling others...I haven't even told my siblings or parents. Its been slow enough of a lost that they havent suspected anything ..they have certainly noticed how I select better foods and comment how much slower I eat. For me, it was easier not to tell co workers and after my supposely "best friend" is acting ..Im glad I made the choice to only tell my husband.

Has anyone else lost a friend they teamed up with ???

Poppyred

I haven't had anyone tell me (luckily) that I'm taking the easy way out with the band. I have, however, had several people make insane comments. One insinuated I was having affairs with two male parents of my students, that they like me because of "my new hot body". I had another tell another (male) coworker, that she thought I was trying to seduce him before his wedding next month. None of this ever happened before losing weight.

I am sure I have people who are not genuinely happy for me, but the people who are my true friends are very supportive. You said it best--they have done you a favor!!! Keep doing you!

Thanks for support. In context I will tell you, Because I have changed so much I started a fitness portion to church I attend because so many people wanted to know what I was doing. I lost about 30 or so lbs in my 6 month pre op waiting period. Im paying it forward. I work out with the people in the group send inspirational emails and make blog posts about various fitness topics. I use info that ive researched and also info that I get from nutritionist. I agree some people can get cocky and arrogant when they lose, BUT I also believe people can perceive it that way when you now have improved self esteem. I cried about it and my son caught me crying. My son is 11 and tells me how proud he is of me and he says, mom you stand taller, you smile alot more and he says mom slow down your walking so fast now :-). Those are the things that keep me going. The person that said the hurtful remarks would tell me every time they see me how great I look. BUt yesterday decided to say "how you gonna give people advice about being healthy and not doing fad diets when you had surgery, how soon you forget!" My response was I can never forget where I came from because Ive been fat my entire life, and many times have been ashamed.

I have more stamina, pep in my step, I look darn good in my clothes. Have I arrived? Heck NO! But im getting there and starting to love me more and more, as well as paying it forward to others without asking them for anything in return. If I can help you stop the train before it derails and you dont have to go through what ive been through and wasted tons of money and time then ive done my job

That is so awesome!! Congrats and keep it up no matter what!!

Sister Diva

I'm calling you sister becuase I am your sister in faith, race, and as a fellow bandster! I know exactly what you are talking about. I've caught it from my family ( when I talk with my 89yr old grandma all she wants to know how much weight I've lost and if I have a company keeper yet), crazy comments from church (I had a guy tell me I was going to be married within 6 months as if weight was the only reason i wasn't previously married), co-workers now make nasty comments about my clothes being "too big" and all. It's as if I have no solice except for in my house.

But then I prayed on it and turned to the book of Psalms for encouragement, and renwal of strength. A few of my favorites are Psalms 36 & Psalms 27, but my favorite when I feel attacked, and hurt is Psalms 1. Turn to Psalms when you have those moments. Find your favorite scripture, or a theme song to encourage yourself with becuase whenever you step out on faith and do something to change your life, satan hates it. He knows he can't change your destiny so he tries to get in the process to get you to stop.

Now you may not want to hear this but don't be too upset with your friend pray for her. She may be truly sorry besides, she was used. Used by the enemy to try and discourage you and your efforts. He see's the progress you made, and the work you're doing with the others in the congregation and he's doing what he does best, planting dissemenation to break up the body of Christ and to stop the good work.

Keep pushing forward. You know the plans that God has for you, and what He's promised you. When you pray and then activate your faith in your actions, know going in you'll have these stumbling blocks put before you. All you have to do is recognize it for what it is and press on in Jesus name.