Hey guys,

Just wondering if anyone knows the answer to this or not.... But yesterday, I saw my cousin, whom I hadn't seen in a while, like some months. She was banded in October last year and has lost over 100 lbs and she looks terrible. Her body looks puny and starved, as opposed to healthy and just toned or slim. I was so shocked to see her!!! So, my question is, can you tell the doctor when you would like to stop losing, or do they decide according to BMI or something, cause I really don't want to look that small?

100 pounds in about 3 months?? That sounds more typical of bypass...or even the sleeve.

In answer to your question....*YOU* decide. Don't leave that up to your doctor. Some doctors will try to tell you that you need to weigh what the insurance charts say and, even though they've revised them, their weights are still unrealistic and don't take into account muscle mass or other things that are unique to each individual.

I plan on going on maintenance when I get to the point where I'm happy...which may still be higher than a doctor would like. We'll see. I'm just hoping that I won't do the reverse and keep trying to lose beyond where I look healthy. Not a big fear of mine at this point.

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Wow that's crazy. thats like 8 pounds a week, that can't be right..... but yea it's up to you. They aren't going to tell you how much weight to lose, you should know when you feel right.

Hey guys,

Just wondering if anyone knows the answer to this or not.... But yesterday, I saw my cousin, whom I hadn't seen in a while, like some months. She was banded in October last year and has lost over 100 lbs and she looks terrible. Her body looks puny and starved, as opposed to healthy and just toned or slim. I was so shocked to see her!!! So, my question is, can you tell the doctor when you would like to stop losing, or do they decide according to BMI or something, cause I really don't want to look that small?

I think some doctors, especially those who are new to WLS or uncertain about their own skills, will look at the weight loss or lack thereof of their patients as a reflection of their own success or failure and therefore might have some unrealistic expectations of weight loss for a patient.

How much weight did your cousin have to lose? It could be that while she has lost a lot of weight quickly she has a lot of loose, hanging skin. Losing weight that fast can cause gallbladder problems, hair loss, etc.. She might also have had some problems with the band that caused her not to eat what she should have been and maybe not getting all her Protein in.

Can you call her and ask her about her lapband journey?

Wooo,woo,woo, guys sorry I meant October 09, so she is like a year and three months out!

Hey guys,

Just read over the responses.....and no my cousin has no problem with eating, she eats like a horse now, she doesn't have any liquid in her band now. She has only had 3 or 4 fills, she was 257 at the time of surgery and now weighs 150. There is no hanging skin or any of that stuff, but she is getting a tummy tuck, because she said she had hanging skin just in her stomach area from her pregnancy.

@Cleo's mom what specifically would you like to know, I'll ask her sometimes this week?

Hey guys,

Just read over the responses.....and no my cousin has no problem with eating, she eats like a horse now, she doesn't have any liquid in her band now. She has only had 3 or 4 fills, she was 257 at the time of surgery and now weighs 150. There is no hanging skin or any of that stuff, but she is getting a tummy tuck, because she said she had hanging skin just in her stomach area from her pregnancy.

@Cleo's mom what specifically would you like to know, I'll ask her sometimes this week?

Well, nothing now, thanks. You have provided more detail and cleared up her surgery date, which makes a big difference. I know what you mean, though, about some who have lost a lot of weight not looking healthy. But mostly I have seen that with gastric bypass.

I know someone that lost to much the doc to some fluid out so she could eat a little more and another friend who had the sleeve and she lost to much weight and is having trouble gaining it back

One day at the bariatric center, there was a woman who looked like skin on a skeleton. I overheard her talking to the person with her, and she said that they think she had an eating disorder.

I know that I don't plan on getting down to my "ideal" weight. I am 5'9" and my weight should be like 165lbs. I will be tickled pink at any weight that begins with a "1". I have a goal of 185lbs. I will still be overweight but not morbidly obese.

I have surpassed my goal weight and need to stop losing. People are telling me that I look sick. I think that I will eventually even out and start to look healthy again, but although I'm at the bottom of the weight charts, I'm still not considered underweight on the charts.

I don't think that people are used to seeing me this thin and therefore the shock of seeing the skinny, healthy me compared to the fat with my skin filled out unhealthy me, has them thinking that they can say rude things to me.

I agree that I look thin, but after losing 102 pounds, my skin is saggin somewhat and I have to give my body a chance to recover from the shock of losing over a hundred pounds.

I have already had an unfill and am going to go have another. Do I have an eating disorder?....no, I eat as much as I can without getting sick. Do I need an adjustment? yep, that's why we stay in touch with our Drs. Will all of these problems get better? You betcha! I'm healthy with a BMI of 19%. I just have to get to where I can find the balance of eating enough to stop losing and not gaining it back. It won't happen overnight.....so please don't tell me I look anorexic! That's just as bad as telling me I was fat a year ago. I'm a work in progress.

I don't think that people are used to seeing me this thin and therefore the shock of seeing the skinny, healthy me compared to the fat with my skin filled out unhealthy me, has them thinking that they can say rude things to me.

.....so please don't tell me I look anorexic! That's just as bad as telling me I was fat a year ago. I'm a work in progress.

I discussed with my husband the changes that will occur once I'm banded and other people reacting to my weight loss was brought up. I told hubby I was afraid of family & friends thinking I should stop losing weight 50 lbs in because they are so used to seeing me 85 lbs over weight that 50 lbs less is a lot to them. I told him if he feels I should stop then to discuss it with me but to understand that losing 50 lbs doesnt put me even in the top of the healthy BMI for my height and age.

I totally agree with you that being called anorexic. Any comment that is stating you are unhealthy (be it too skinny or too fat) is uncalled for. How can people say they care about someone when they are so obviously verbally assaulting them by saying such things. I understand they care but becareful of the accusations you make.

I have surpassed my goal weight and need to stop losing. People are telling me that I look sick. I think that I will eventually even out and start to look healthy again, but although I'm at the bottom of the weight charts, I'm still not considered underweight on the charts.

I don't think that people are used to seeing me this thin and therefore the shock of seeing the skinny, healthy me compared to the fat with my skin filled out unhealthy me, has them thinking that they can say rude things to me.

I agree that I look thin, but after losing 102 pounds, my skin is saggin somewhat and I have to give my body a chance to recover from the shock of losing over a hundred pounds.

I have already had an unfill and am going to go have another. Do I have an eating disorder?....no, I eat as much as I can without getting sick. Do I need an adjustment? yep, that's why we stay in touch with our Drs. Will all of these problems get better? You betcha! I'm healthy with a BMI of 19%. I just have to get to where I can find the balance of eating enough to stop losing and not gaining it back. It won't happen overnight.....so please don't tell me I look anorexic! That's just as bad as telling me I was fat a year ago. I'm a work in progress.

I agree with everything you said! :clap:

I think even fellow band patients need to remember this! Most of the rude (though innocent) comments I've received are from people who are overweight but are "average" size, as it seems (at least where I live) most people are overweight if not obese, and they don't seem to know the difference between healthy, overweight, and obese, anyway. Just because some of us choose to set our goals and appearance at a different BMI or weight doesn't necessarily mean others' choices of goals or appearance are wrong (and I'd like to know where the concern was for my health when I was morbidly obese and sick?). I try to gently remind people who may comment that my #1 reason for the band was my health, not my appearance.

I echo Blackbelt's sentiments too. I think unless your cousin is like 6ft 3, 150lb is a perfectly normal, healthy weight, its certainly right in the middle of my healthy weight range at 5ft 10. I've dropped to about 135, myt BMI is 19, and yeah, I'm getting pretty bony now, its not intentional weight loss, and I'm struggling, despite having an unfilled band, to put weight back on without resorting to eating crap for the sake of it.

But that's due to other illness, not the band.

I think, truly, that as obese people our idea of normal weight becomes quite warped, and its also true that we seen people who've dropped a lot of weight and think they look "sick". In actual fact, it is NORMAL and HEALTHY to be slim, but so many people want to aim for just above that - they're looking at "overweight" (BMI 25-30) as curvy or normal because based on the size of people in general nowadays, it does appear so. But its NOT the healthiest weight to be. I seriously doubt any woman weighing 150 is "sick" or "underweight".

However, if you dont like the look of normal weight below the BMI 25 level, then dont go there, its absolutely your choice. And the truth is anyway, that a large proportion of people who have been morbidly obese will struggle to achieve that level of thinness anyway, to get to merely "overweight", you've knocked most the risks on the head, you look pretty normal, can shop pretty normally etc so if you want to stop there, that's your choice.

I agree with L12 too, where was the concern when my BMI was 36? the number of rude comments I've received about being skinny, vain, obsessed with my looks or simply people assuming I"m a snob has astounded me. So I tend to bristle a bit when people post these threads about how awful people look at perfectly normal weights. Granted, I havent seen your cousin, I'm not in a position to judge, but 150 is hardly scary skinny.