Today, I feel...profoundly happy! Since I began my weight loss journey on June 26, 2010. I have lost a total of 51 lbs. and a total of 25.5 inches from my body!!! Just sitting down here and actually calculating all of this made me realize just how far I have come! I guess in the day to day grind of everything you lose focus of how much one has accomplished. I often feel like I should be doing more or losing more but, when I see numbers like these it makes me realize I am way too hard on myself. I should be proud of myself! I AM PROUD OF MYSELF! =)

It is strange because when I look at myself in the mirror...I really don't "SEE" it. Yeh, I "KNOW" that I have went from a size 26 jeans fitting too tight to wearing a size 18 now. I know my clothes fit totally different now. I know that the scale goes down each time I step on it. But, for some reason my mind has not made that connection! I still can't "SEE" it in my mind. It is crazy! I really hope to one day get to the point of where my mind is where my body is. I want to be one with myself and actually be able to put my progress into a realization for my mind. I want to "SEE" it!

I know I have been extremely lucky to have had only two fills and to have great restriction. I realize I have REALLY been lucky to have lost what weight I have considering I have not really been exercising like I should for the past couple of months. I have been so busy taking care of my Mom that I once again...put myself and my health on the backburner. I am recommitting myself to myself for the new year! I am going to HAVE to put myself first, my health first! I am definitely going to get started exercising again. I feel great when I exercise! These winter doldrums have definitely gotten me down but, I will do it! I plan on making 2011 my best year yet! Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Healthy New Year! =)

P.S.

I was just wondering for those of you who have been on this journey longer than I...When was your moment that you actually could "SEE" all of your progress? When did your mind actually "catch up" to where you are now?

i was just talking to my sister about this last night. she thinks i look perfect the way i am but i'm not quite in the normal BMI stage right now so i'm determined to keep going with the weight loss until i think i look good.

BUT i'm not sure i'll ever look in the mirror and think i look good. i still see the fat me and that worries me.

on the brighter side, i went shopping about a month ago and was taking on the task of trying on jeans. i DISPISE trying on jeans. there happened to be a pair of jeans already in the dressing room when i went in and they were "skinny jeans"... a size 8. i laughed to myself and decided to try them on for shits and giggles. i was completely surprised when they actually fit.... not tight fitting but truly fitting!!

that was my defining moment and it took me 2 + years to really "get" that i'm really getting skinny!

I am dealing with this right now. I had surgery 7 months ago and I am down 88 pounds (5 pounds from doctor goal of 169, I am 5'7"). And I still see myself as fat. Everyone around me is saying how great I look but I still don't see it. Some days I catch a glimpse and think I look pretty good but most often I feel like I need to lose another 20 pounds, so I am going to try. But I am afraid my head will never catch up and I may never be happy about my weight no matter how small I get.

I really like this author and his books. They come with a self-hypnosis CD. I have "I can Make You Thin" and just ordered "I Can Make You Confident" on amazon. Maybe give it a try

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1402769229/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=1278548962&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0952330830&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1Z5G6WN26S1JY0BPGF2T

Thanks everyone for your input. It is amazing how strong the mind is! I am really beginning to understand people with anorexia and bulimia. I can see now how easy it is to look in the mirror and not actually "see" what is really there. I always wondered how they could be so thin yet see theirselves as being so fat. Although, I am far from being thin...I hope that I will be able to see myself that way once I really get there! It just seems like it would be a shame to have worked so hard for it and not be able to enjoy it because of some freaking mental block!