To me it seems like the actual weight loss was the easy part....the psycological part is the tough one for me....when I make food like crabcakes I still put 4 in the oven...even though after 1 1/2 or 2 im stuffed!! when i have cereal I pour a huge bowl and only eat half. oatmeal I will make 3 packets...and I only eat one till im full....

and buying clothes I dont go for the 3x's but i look at the 2x's and for some strange reason I cant buy a xl thinking it will be tight on me.... when in reality its very loose and big on me.. and shorts or pants I have trouble in my mind buying XL when I do they are usually big on me also...I just cant seem to allow myself to buy or even look at Large shorts.....I am very thankfull that my wife buys me size large...but when she does i tell her there going to be tight to take them back, after she insists on me trying them on...they fit fine and I keep them.................I dont know i am just not there mindset wise, that im not overly obese anymore. and when i see myself in the mirror , I look like I lost a few pounds but certainly not one who lost a 130 pounds. even though people I havnt seen in a while tell me i look "Skinny" I just cant except it....because to me I am not...in my mind.................thank you for just let me venting some....

Also thank everyone in this forum...it has been a great way to express myself and talk to others who are going or been thru the same thing as me. thank you all again!!:thumbup:

I absolutely understand what you are saying. I almost mourned having to leave the plus sizes. I was comfortable there and now being in the misses sizes I find it rather overwhelming. I tend to just wander around and somehow always seem to wander over to the plus size department. I know anything I try on will be way too large now but I always end up there at some point.

I was just talking to my teenage son the other day and he showed me a picture on his facebook of me at a wedding a couple of years ago. He said look mom how different you look. I told him I don't feel like I look that different. He just didn't understand. He said I don't even look like the same person. Will my mind ever catch up with my body?

I feel it too... I go shopping and I can shop from any area of the Kohls, and so many choices... I am overwhelmed and cannot choose! Some one compliments the change in me and I have a hard time accepting it. I am having a hard time with my brain catching up with my body. I still see myself as the "big girl"

How do I wrap my mind around my body? I never thought this part would be so hard!

Its not easy and even after you accept it, and realise you're a normal size person, you still agonise over your perceived flaws, i dont think that bit ever goes away. I used not not undrstand how skinny people could complain about their bodies but now I do. I can logically see I am tall, slim and fairly fit seeing but I can ALSO see I have this flab here, this lump there etc etc.

its funny though because you do develop new eyes to view food. I look at how much and what I eat as "normal" and when people, say in the staffroom at school whinge about their weight as they eat their lunch, I look at their lunch and cant believe they see nothign wrong with it. I mean a stinking big baked potato, covered with cheese, sour cream, bacon, coleslaw and pinapple? That's a freaking enormous meal, brimming with unhealthy fat - yes its vegies, fruit etc but not in the right way. Its about four times more than they need to eat and way removed from just the base ingredients! I think "how can you not see why you're fat for crying out loud". But I too used to eat things like that and think it was healthy and better than McDonalds.

I dont say anything but in my head, my own dialogue with myself, I'm as bad as any reformed smoker!

I think it will take a very long time for my mind to catch up. In my mind I am still a "plus size." Like someone else said, I'm the "big girl." I went from being the biggest girl in the office to being the thinnest, but I still feel like the big one. It is very strange. People at work tell me they don't think I should lose any more weight, but I still feel so "Xtra Large." I have learned to actually try on the clothes in my closet rather than just holding them up and trying to judge if they will fit. I shrunk out of a few things that I thought would still be to tight because I thought I was still so large. It would have been nice to wear those things a couple times along the way. Now I try things on even if I think they will be too tight even if it is just to see if they will be the next thing that will fit. I think my mind will catch up one of these days because I have been thin several times in my life. I just could not keep the weight off.

I'm the opposite. I was always surprised when I looked in a mirror or saw a picture of myself because I never had a mental image of myself as fat. It's actually nice to look in a mirror and see a thinner me that comes closer to matching my mental image.

I can relate, however, to cooking too much food or taking too much. For example, making a whole sandwich when experience has taught me that I'll only be able to eat half. Took me 15 years to learn how to cook normally for my family and my husband's versus cooking 5x the amount of food needed (which would be all eaten by the way) for my parents and siblings. Hopefully, it won't take that long to learn to take only what I really can eat.

I'm still heavy (almost halfway to my goal), but I have a hard time seeing it/believing it. I kept smaller clothes at I gained weight, and am constantly surprised when I fit into them again. I always assumed I'm the heaviest person in the room, even when I'm not. I'm not used to going out and NOT getting "look at the fat girl" looks. The mind can be a tricky thing.

The mind catching up to the body is a tough thing. I have lost 89 pounds and still get surprised when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror. Also, people are starting to tell me I don't need to loose anymore weight. This shocks me. I think I need to loose about 20 more pounds.

The psychologist involved with my wls told me to do 2 things. One is take a picture of myself every month. I do a front and profile shot in my bathing suit. I started a scrap book. It helps to look back and see how far I've come. She also said to keep one "fat outfit". Again, it helps me see how far I've come.

It is hard, but important that you get a realistic body image. If you still feel fat, it can become a self profiling prophecy. Good luck to all!

I can't stay out of the plus size section either even though I try hard. I end up in Plus and maternity all the time. I also cook and take too much food and spend a lot of time feeding other people. I also am surprised when someone says they didn't recognise me. I feel the same inside so the mind thing takes much longer than the actual process of weight loss. I wonder how long? Hugs!!!

Jachut,

I look at what others have on their plates and I am astonished... even more fun is checking out the grocery carts at the supermarket and looking at the people pushing them. Then glancing into my own cart seeing ...wow ... life has changed! I am so grateful for how far I have come. Also the desire to do better still.

I completely understand the struggle with seeing oneself as "fat" even when s/he has lost a significant amount of weight. As I am approaching my 14 month BANDiversary and down nearly 90 pounds, I still have difficulty realizing that I actually DO fit into an XL shirt. When I see the XL shirt hanging on the rack, I think to myself that there is NO WAY that puny bit of material will cover my big, old body. But, low and behold, the XL shirt fits me just fine! Another struggle I have is accepting compliments from others about my weightloss. When someone tells me how great I look, I just smile and say thank you, but my brain is telling me that they are "just being kind."

As for other's food choices, I completely agree with the posters in this thread. I, too, notice what other people have in their grocery carts at the store, order at restaurants, and eat for lunch. Two years ago, I would have been the one with a cart overloaded with junk food, ordering an appetizer+main course+dessert at a restaurant, and chowing down on a monsterous lunch. I thank God everyday for my band!