why does everyone gets so angry after being banded. Lots of people post about bandster hell, not losing weight, being too hungry, wasting all their money etc....

It's a very strange phenomenom. Did these folks not know what to expect? I mean if they are on this board they surely must have read one of the 18 million post about the same thing, no?

I don't get it? Tired of the bitch just to bitch mentality

I, too, get tired of explaining why you don't lose weight "magically" right after being banded. I think getting banded is very anticlimatic. You get so excited about losing the weight you want it to disappear after getting the band. Instead you are hungry for months (at least I was). But I did educate myself and knew what to expect. I think it's just people venting about the hunger. It is very hard to wait all those months with nothing happening. Best wishes!!!

You know, I was just wondering the exact same thing as I read yet another post by someone 3 weeks in complaining that they aren't losing!

What are their doctors telling them? Why do they think that their weight loss will be instantaneous?

I have been coming on here as a way to keep motivated, but I find all of the negativity and complaining is annoying! (Although I read it all anyways!)

I've noticed the same thing too looking at the boards. I know I can get a little bit grumpy when I'm hungry, but the victim/who-can-I-blame mentality I keep seeing is flabbergasting to me.

I only got my band yesterday, but I've been putting in the work to be ready for it all year. I know it's not a magic bullet and I expect to have to keep on working to make it work for me and with me to achieve the results I want.

If I'm going to get mad anywhere along the way, it's likely that I'll be mad at myself if I don't do the work, not at my surgeon, or the Band, or that the magical weight loss fairy didn't come and visit me as soon as I got my Band.

I'm looking forward to someday reaching my goal and having all the benefits that come with that. But what I'm REALLY looking forward to is STAYING there, and I'm hoping that the Band is the tool I need to help me keep this yo-yo from ever going back up again.

A little optimism goes a long way, I think, and the folks that I see on here who have been in this for the long haul all have something in common.... a positive attitude and a willingness to work for their results. I'm going to be one someday too!

I don't know about you guys, but being on liquids made me grumpy.

Maybe they are just looking to vent and get some reassurance. :sigh:

i think it is just really frustrating for people to go from completely normal eating habits to having 2-4 oz of liquids every couple hours and not seeing results immediately. not everyone has been out of surgery for months or years and is used to the gradual weightloss. they just need to be encouraged and reassured that the results they are seeing are completely normal.

I really do think that there is a significant percentage of banded patients who either are not educated by their doctors or who do not HEAR what their doctors have to say.

My surgeon prepares patients quite well---but in the group classes, I've noticed that there are people who simply do not hear what is being said. They have the same questions over and over.

Surgery is stressful, and stressed people often require a great deal of repetition. My surgeon addresses this need by providing a CD-ROM with every imaginable scenario addressed---and honest to God, there are patients in my group who don't even know they have this resource, even though the rest of us saw them receiving it!

Different people respond to stress differently.

That said, they often use this as an exercise to avoid personal responsibility. At times, it can seem like almost willful tuning-out. And that really does get frustrating to address and re-address.

Poor prep can only take you so far. There is abundant information available to anyone interested in learning more about what to expect.

Sometimes, people just don't like the answers. They don't like that, if they want to lose weight during bandster hell, they have to eat a lot less, exercise a lot, and feel hunger. They resent it, and blame their doctors and bands when, in fact, they are experiencing what most of us experience.

It's too bad; really, simple acceptance makes it so much easier to adopt the behaviors that produce the results everyone wants so badly!

I going to put the blame on the physicians/surgeons in their lack of explaining to people what to expect, and like BetsyB said, people not hearing it.

From some high volume practices, they can tend to be more about the number of surgeries completed than waste their energy on explaining to potential bandsters that it doesn't happen overnight.

That's why it is so important to do your research beforehand and find out what to expect so educated questions can be asked when talking with the surgeon.

But yeah I remember not being too perky being on liquids for a month either. It is a confusing and somewhat emotional time trying to adjust to a new way of life, especially when the old way of life was so ingrained in your existence.

I knew what to expect...but yes I complained about "bandster hell" :devil_smile:. I knew it would happen, but that is what the boards are for...to vent to someone who knows exactly what you are going through! I know for me if I didn't vent and release some of the stress....I would've fallen back on old habits and ate. As for the people who "magically" expect to lose weight....I'm stumped on that one. Lack of Band Education???

I think people put too much pressure on themselves to lose a lot right away. And, some doctors reinforce this too. My doctor put no pressure on me. I wasn't told I could only eat 1/4 cup or a small number of calories. I was told to eat 3 meals per day and not to spend more than 20 minutes eating. And, as my band was adjusted, the amount I could consume in 20 minutes naturally went down. And, if I snacked in between, my doctor did not scold me, but told me that was a sign that I needed another fill.

I've never felt any pressure to lose fast. In fact, my doctor told me not to expect to lose ANYTHING the first month because the first month is just for healing. She also didn't have me on a lengthy regimen of liquids and mushies. I had four days of Clear Liquids and then straight to real foods. I also didn't have a pre-op diet. And, before you think she's a quack, she's a center of excellence and considered one of the best bariatric surgeon's in the country.

Sooooo, anyway, this has been a really stress-free experience for me. I haven't had to be hungry. I haven't had any pressure to lose fast. I also explained to all my friends and family that it would take time (that lapband is different from RNY and there is an adjustment period). I think I am lucky, though. I think most people on here get a lot more pressure from their doctors, or they put it on themselves.

Sometimes I also wonder if others on here have done as much dieting as I have in the past. When someone complains about ONLY losing 10 pounds in two weeks or something like that, it makes me wonder. Prior to the band, it took me 1.5 years on WW to lose what I have now lost in 6 months (about 46 pounds). So, I guess I am very easily pleased w/any weightloss w/the band since my weightloss on other programs has been so so slow and painfully hungry.

I'm just over a month post op and I have 2 weeks before my first fill. I get hungry within 3-4 hours, I guess I have some restriction. If I'm hungry too soon I supplement with isopure protein drink and possibly a snack like yogurt, SF jello or SF ice pop. I also have been going to the gym a lot and using the elliptical or treadmill. It's been work but I've still lost weight and that makes me excited and motivated to lose more. I average 75 grams of protein, no more than 1200 calories a day and 40minutes of cardio 5 days a week.

I've noticed the same thing too looking at the boards. I know I can get a little bit grumpy when I'm hungry, but the victim/who-can-I-blame mentality I keep seeing is flabbergasting to me.

I think this is part of being obese to be honest. It seems to me to be a chicken and egg thing and I cant figure out if people are fat because they take absolutely no responsibility for their lifestyle choices, I mean they cant eat right coz they're busy, they cant exercise becuase they have a bad knee, they're depressed so they cant stick to their food plan etc etc or if being fat makes them that way.

A huge part of recovering from obesity is going through a massive personality change from being a whiner to a do-er.

Of course I'm making a huge generalisation here too, so this most definitely doesnt apply to everyone. But its common enough to be a noticeable pattern.

As for the instantaneous weight loss - well I expected that, certainly. And I got it, my loss was extremly fast and gratifying for the first 12 weeks or so. But I have a 4cc band and came out of surgery with no fill but superb restriction that lasted months. I found the liquid to mushies part very easy, I was not interested in food, never hungry etc.

I dont think the newer bands work that way very often.

I suppose each individual has their own, personal reasons for the way they respond to banding and what follows. I think often people respond with anger and finger-pointing when they are simply scared.

Perhaps they are doubting their decision to have this very major life-changing procedure -- and it is such a drastic thing we are doing, as well. Once done, there is no going back. (though, of course the band is reversible which is another life-changing procedure in itself).

For me, I am so excited and so committed to doing what I think will really work this time, that I suppose if after a few months I see no positive results for all my efforts the excitement and committment could turn to anger and finger-pointing ----but underneath it all would be the fear that I have "blown it" once again, made some bad decision that I am stuck with.

Hope this gives you another view point.

I, too, would rather not read posts that get real ugly, but for those who truly need to vent to other people who will understand what they are going thru, it is wonderful to have the opportunity.

I can choose to read those posts when Im in a space to respond and not take it on.:devil_smile:

A lot of great posts here and I think the answer lies in the totality of them. You're so frustrated with your body and then you "discover" the band.

Then you wait so long (most of us anyway) to get past the whole approval process and surgery that once the operation is done you want the weight to go with it. Then you deal with the hunger and trying to learn a new lifestyle while the old one keeps trying to find a crack in the wall to get back in. It's a very frustrating process until you learn how to control your body and the way it operates.

The boards give us a place to blow off steam with people who have things in common (some more than others... :devil_smile:) which helps us get through the bottlenecks in the road.

Brad

This forum is to get advice , and feel as if you can vent if needed . I agree with betsy and bam bam .....people are going through possibly the biggest adjustment of their lives. Listen , help and be there for them. After all this is a forum.

All the comments above are very valid and yes people do come here for reassurance and validation but it is still frustrating to read the same thing over and over again and to have to type the same answers.

It would be good if there was a section on this forum that you had to read before joining that explained all the basics. Either that or an FAQ section (one of my ex bosses always said FAQ stood for f**ing awful questions)!

It appears that people do not read older threads before starting one of their own. I also find it extremely scary the lack of information that some people appear to have been given but as Betsy said it is possible that they have just mentally blocked all this info out.

What does tend to happen though is that a lot of the older more experienced bandsters seem to drop out. Yes it may be because they are now comfortable with their bands and no longer in need of the constant interaction on the board but I believe that a lot of them drop out because they get frustrated with reading and answering the same thing over and over.There are very few people here that have been banded for any great length of time that still help and support. Jachut of course is the exception so we had better make sure we don't scare her off!