I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I'm at my heaviest 235lbs my lightest 115lbs. I've been approved for surgery and even have a date less then 30 days away and now I'm thinking of cancelling it. I'm terrified. I'm thinking if I'm really ready to do this I should be excited or happy but I'm not. So I must not be ready yet, right?

Here is a list of the reasons for my fear...

1. I hate the thought of limiting what I'll eat not quantity wise but damn can I have a slice of bread and not worry?

2. I'm losing my best friend. My sidekick, my hiding place when the world gets rough. What am I gonna do when I get overwhelmed or hurt. I can't eat anymore so whats next?

3. Most importantly, is this really going to help me? I'm not overweight because of my portions necessarily. I'm overwight because I've found happiness in food. I mean to be honest I love IT more then I love myself. So will this help? Is there another way I can be "fixed?" If my challange with food is mental why am I doing something physical to accomplish my goal.

I'm so confused. I'm terrified. Any input would help.

Thank you.

OK so take a deep breathe and remember why you started this process to begin with. All you concerns are valid and justified. I think everyone has some sort of hesitation because it is a big decision, a big life change....

That said, this is a mental game and your head needs to be in it. Obviously you need to work on these issues you have with the addiction to food as well.

I had some of the same thoughts prior but I was totally ready. Most of it stemmed from fear. Once I had my surgery I have never looked back with an ounce of regret. My only regret would be why did I not do this sooner.

Everyone is different, how they deal and what they can tolerate. I can eat anything and tolerate everything. You just have to see what works for you.

Just try and think of the positives and the benefits of losing the weight. I can tell you I feel great and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Good luck.

Thank you TKE100 I needed to hear that.

I think everyone has the same concerns. Remember, you are having surgery on your stomach, not your brain. You can still have your love affair with food. Heck, we all do. I still have the cravings for the potato chips and bologna sandwiches. However, after riding my first bicycle marathon, buying a pair of pants from a non plus size clothing store, and sitting in a movie theater seat without having to raise the armrests, I found that food is a wonderful thing, but it is now used as fuel. Somedays I still love to have something wickedly delicious, but a bite or a taste spit into a napking suffices. I think if you go through with the surgery, you will still have a relationship with food, but it will probably be a healthier one. i am glad that you question if this is the right decision, i think it is good that you are thinking this through, as this is certainly life changing. best of luck to you, I know you will make the right choice for yourself.

I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I'm at my heaviest 235lbs my lightest 115lbs. I've been approved for surgery and even have a date less then 30 days away and now I'm thinking of cancelling it. I'm terrified. I'm thinking if I'm really ready to do this I should be excited or happy but I'm not. So I must not be ready yet, right?

Here is a list of the reasons for my fear...

1. I hate the thought of limiting what I'll eat not quantity wise but damn can I have a slice of bread and not worry?

2. I'm losing my best friend. My sidekick, my hiding place when the world gets rough. What am I gonna do when I get overwhelmed or hurt. I can't eat anymore so whats next?

3. Most importantly, is this really going to help me? I'm not overweight because of my portions necessarily. I'm overwight because I've found happiness in food. I mean to be honest I love IT more then I love myself. So will this help? Is there another way I can be "fixed?" If my challange with food is mental why am I doing something physical to accomplish my goal.

I'm so confused. I'm terrified. Any input would help.

Thank you.

I concur with the previous posters. But I have a question for you: You say you love the food more than you love yourself, but will you love gaining another 20, 30, 40 or 50 lbs? Is it worth it to you? I soooo understand your love affair with food, many of us on this forum do. But I think that with the band we have found ways to cope with life differently. You will too -- should you decide that the band is for you.

There's a lot of support on this forum ... keep reading.

All the best to you.

I think you know you're ready not when you dont ahve these fears (everyone felt that way) but when you care more getting healthy and happy, so that you're ready to face life on the other side and just deal with these things when they arise.

Having the fears themselves is not a sign of not being ready.

Believe it or not, most of these fears will prove completely without foundation. And you wont believe the trade off when you actually see results for your efforts.

Wow! Deja vu!

I could have sworn I just read and replied to this exact post 2 minutes ago.

Please don't double post. You may miss out on half of the replies.

Your fears are valid and many of us go through the same thing before surgery. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. I too had fears of losing my main source of comfort - food, and not being able to eat some of my favorites after banding. Also, for the lack of a better word, a friend in food. But the truth is food shouldn't be your source of comfort. That is why many of us struggle in the first place. I will tell you that banding altered my relationship with food in a good way.

Once the weight started coming off and I began to feel better about myself, I wanted to continue to eat healthier and exercise more. I could see the results and I liked it. I wish I knew what to tell you on how I was able to change my relationship with food, but I do know that because I couldn't eat as much and was satisfied, my appetite for more food just wasn't there.

What you are going thru in questioning your relationship with food and if you need surgery is pretty normal. It would probably do you some good to sit down with a therapist that specializes in obesity and see if that would help alter your dependence on food as a comfort.

Best of luck in whatever you decide.

I've been banded now for over 3 years. I had the exact same fears, you can read my journey in my blog if you like. I totally freaked out the closer I got to surgery.

3 1/2 years later, I would not change a thing. I do eat bread, occasionaly, I do have a cookie, occasionaly. I still enjoy life, and I still eat things but I eat it all in moderation. Its all portioned controlled.

I used to go thru an entire box of oreos - and no I'm not exagerating! I ate the entire package with 2 or three glasses of milk! I no longer can eat the entire package, I might have 2 or 3 very rarely, and only when I really want it.

I have gone from a size 18 to a size 6 now. Bought new clothes this weekend and realized, the size 8's are just too baggy so I moved to size 6 and they fit!

Let me tell you, I loved food, still love food, but nothing taste as good as being thin is! So don't let the fears stop you from being who you deserve to be.

Best wishes to you.

It took me a long time to wrap my head around not loving food anymore. I also go to a therapist and used support groups for this. I started this journey with WW and went to their weekly meetings. All of this helped a lot. I am still on my journey and yes, I miss food. Slowly but surely this "missing food" is going away. I really no longer enjoy eating, to be honest. It's takes me a long time to eat a very small amount and I get full fast. But the pounds are dropping off with little effort. I would highly recommend you seek out some sort of therapeutic help before you make your decision. It is a big decision and a very personal one. No one can decide for you but you must give up the love affair you have with food now and that is a loss. Whatever you decide, best wishes!!!