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I have my seminar on the 30th and very excited to get the ball rolling. I talked to my doctor’s office and asked if I could get the surgery done in January, Sometime, because I am self-pay. They said absolutely. Good news so far. I sent out my loan info a week ago and was turned down. I am still going to the seminar but feel like I shouldn't bother. I mean with out my loan I am without the band. She said then we will just keep trying. (gotta love that women) My mom is going to try to see if she can step in. But like me her credit isn't the best. I feel like I am falling deeper in a hole and can't get out. I have struggled for so long with my weight. All my thin friends keep saying I can do it by myself. I try to explain that I know I can lose it myself. But the question is for how long. Its not like I have never lost weight, and put it back on, plus an extra 30lbs. Not to mention I look at my family. They are all struggling with their weight. They have major health problems. I don't want to battle my health and weight for the rest of my life. I just want to be healthy and look fabulous being healthy. Sorry this is turning into a rant. Even my family that is large, thinks I should just diet, like them. FOREVER!!! I want a tool that is going to change my habits, and not allow me to fall back in to all my bad habits. I am not expecting a miracle I realize it is a tool. But I know a tool is what will work for me. I am tiered of the yoyo. I have been on here a while and feel like if anyone can understand its all of you. Well all in all I am going to keep trying to get this loan. I have no insurance so that is why the loan is my option. I will tell you this if I have to hit up Santa Claus or give the Easter bunny a lap dance than that is my next move. My mom always says that things work out in the end. So I will keep that in mind. Wow, I feel better just sharing this with you guys. Thanks for listening. xoxo