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Is it worth it? Do you regret it: OMG yes it's worth it! I had it at age 55 and should have done it YEARS ago! No regrets AT ALL! I'd do it again in a heart beat - and if I had to go back every year and have it done again, I would! Do you feel your life is normal? Not sure what exactly you're getting at here, but yes - I feel my life is normal. The first few weeks can be a little iffy - you're tired, you have to figure out what foods you can tolerate, you have to get used to the new routines, etc - but once I got through that, I felt pretty normal Losing weight first: depends on your surgeon and your insurance. Many insurance cos (not all, but many) require a six-month diet supervised by a physician or a dietitian, but some don't necessarily require you to lose weight from that. Is the loose skin as bad as people make it out to be? I think most of us who are out a couple years or more wonder why we even wasted one brain cell worrying about this. Some loose skin vs weighing 400 lbs? It's a no brainer. I've since had plastic surgery, but no one could see my excess skin other than me. I would take my loose skin any day over weighing 373 lbs again. ANY FRICKIN' DAY!! hair loss: I didn't have that much. Most of us do lose hair, but for the majority, it's not enough for other people to notice.

As others have said, it's common to experience hair loss after ANY surgery. Mine started at about 3 or 4 months and seemed to go on forever. I wasn't worried until I could really see the thinning in my scalp. At the time, I had close to shoulder-length hair and I found that the length seemed to make it look worse because the weight of the hair was pulling it down a bit and "showing off" the scalp. So, I cut it into a short bob. I had always taken a Hair, Skin, and Nails vitamin, but went into a bit of overdrive at the 1st sign of hair loss. I started doing scalp treatments, oil massages, even tried rice water rinses. I can't say that any of those things made a HUGE difference, but after another 3 or 4 months I noticed baby hairs and regrowth. I saw on another posting about hair loss that some people's hair never grows back the same. Today, my hair is about the same as it was pre-surgery. I have always had fine, thin hair. Having children dealt the biggest blow to my mane and it never recovered. I'm honestly tired of fighting it and recently got a hair topper. Best thing I ever did. I no longer have to worry about strategically styling my hair to lessen the appearance of the thinning. I highly recommend it!

Hey guys new here, I’m 3 weeks post op, any advice or tips y’all can give me ? I’m worried about hair loss since my hair is already thin 😭

I’m having lap roux-en-y on 2/24 (yay!) and have an 8 month old at home. Has anyone experienced WLS postpartum? How did you handle caring for baby? How long until you were able to pick up and hold them? I’m still dealing with pp hair loss so I’m not as worried about that with the upcoming surgery. Most concerned about not being able to pick up baby.

Great responses so far - agree with all of them. 1. Only weigh yourself once a week - your weight will fluctuate daily and it will be discouraging when you see it temporarily go up. 2. You will have stalls - they are normal. At around 3-4 weeks is when your liver will return to its normal storing of glucose, plus when the liver dumped its stores pre-op it causes dehydration - temporarily looking like more fat loss than really occurred (the pre-op diet shrinks it to help the surgeon) so a stall here is usual. Search "stalls" or "three-week stall" for more posts on this. From what I've read here, stalls will happen occasionally throughout the weight loss process but often the inches will continue to come off. It's the bodies way of taking time to adjust. 3. You didn't mention which surgery you're having. If it's gastric sleeve then initially your sleeve will be swollen so when you start on solid foods it won't hold much at all. But once the swelling goes down it will hold a little more (ounces.) Everyone is different. But don't worry, you didn't stretch your sleeve! That takes "one extra bite at a time over about a year" according to surgeon Dr. Duc Vuong. 4. I started losing right away, and write down everything I eat in a food journal. Don't ever allow fattening, unhealthy foods in again and especially not high calorie drinks - you can override the surgery and regain the weight even eating smaller portions especially if eating every couple of hours. 5. If you haven't discovered him yet, on YouTube I highly recommend watching as many of Dr. Duc Vuong's videos as possible. His breakfast green smoothie is what I've been doing since surgery and plan to continue forever. 6. When your clothes start falling off you avoid spending on new clothes - visit the local Goodwill or thrift store. You'll turn them in for smaller ones the following month after month. It's fun! And costs little. I've found so many nice clothes in good condition available that frankly this will now be the first place I go to shop even when I reach my goal weight. 7. Take your vitamins and get enough protein (and don't forget some healthy fats.) It will help keep you healthy plus temporary hair loss at 3-6 months is frequently talked about here but getting enough protein and the proper vitamins may help either prevent it or make it less than otherwise. They say it grows back - I'm only at two months so haven't reached that point yet. 8. Immediately post-op know that pain meds cause constipation so will keep the gas in causing more pain. By all means if you're in pain and need to take them do so at your surgeon's direction! But be sure to drink enough water/liquids and walk as mentioned by others here. Good luck! Having weight loss surgery was the best thing I've ever done for myself especially for my health. And my knees are no longer aching as well. Whew! Who wants knee surgery?

Great topic! Call me whatever you want to call me, but I'm slightly more worried about my appearance than the actual change in diet - the hair loss, how to keep my skin as good as it can get, yes I know it'll be flabby but if I can do anything to help that out, I will! Maybe it's because I've had lapband prior and I'm converting to RNY as soon as insurance approves. Maybe it's just me.

it seems like most pre-ops (and early post-ops) worry incessantly about hair loss. But in retrospect, I can't believe I wasted even ONE brain cell worrying about it. For one thing, although there are a few people who have hair that comes out in clumps, for most of us, we just shed - and we're the only ones who notice that we're losing any hair. And some people don't lose any hair at all. The only thing I noticed is that I had about twice as many hairs in my comb after washing it than I normally did. But just looking at my hair, I couldn't tell the difference - so I'm sure no one else could, either. Secondly - it grows back. once you lose a significant amount of weight, you're going to wonder why you worried so much about hair loss....it's such a minor thing in the grand scheme, and as I said, it's likely no one is going to notice, and it grows back.

also, re: hair loss - some people never lose any. Some have it come out in clumps. The majority of people, though, just shed. They notice it - but no one else does. And it grows back. I worried about hair loss incessantly. But I'm here to say that in retrospect, I don't know why I wasted even ONE brain cell worrying about that. No one noticed my hair loss, and I am SO MUCH HAPPIER being normal weight that I don't know why I was even worried for one second about my hair. It's a small price to pay - and if you're like most of us, no one is going to notice your hair loss except for you.

So a little background: I am a 6'3" male who had my "Sleeve" done in July and ran into a small Pulmonary Embolism which kept me at the hospital an extra week. I have to take blood thinners for at least 1 year but thank god they have moved me off of the Lovenox injections (I hate and fear needles) and onto a pill so it's not that big of a bother now . A month before surgery I was 500lbs but got down to 455lbs on the day of my surgery. I honestly forgot what my weight was 3-4 months ago on my last surgeon visit and any scales I have had access to since then top out at 300-350lbs. I vaguely recall one doctors scale saying 375 almost 2 months ago but it could have been in error since it really wasn't built for that. I have a few concerns that you guys probably heard a billion times so please excuse me but I just don't want to screw up too bad. Despite access to a usable scale I know I am losing weight because I have had to buy smaller clothes. I wore a 5XL shirt pre-op and now wear 3-2XL, some other articles too small 30 days ago now starting to fit little by little as time goes on etc etc. I have also noticed loose skin and I keep getting told I have a noticeable reduction in my face. I am having a few issues that I can't tell if I am ruining my surgery or what but hopefully you guys can help and sorry for the novels worth of words ahead. Firstly I am worried that I may be stretched out too much. I am VERY picky eater and don't eat vegetables, but before you go on with the lecture let me say: "YES, I have "Re-tried" them all several times to appease people and in various different preparations but no matter what whenever I eat most vegetables the taste literally makes me sick" anyway, I knew this was going to cause some challenges .Once I could eat normal foods my diet was pretty much occasionally scrambled eggs for breakfast, 2 pieces of grilled chicken for dinner every night and fruit anytime before and after that. Mostly oranges but also apples, banana and the occasional grapes. Now that the weather has changed grilling enough for most of the week is not as easy so I have had to mix it up. I know it is shameful but a few days during the week I stay at my gf's apt and she has no way to cook in her apt so I try to bring as much "pre-cooked" food from home to microwave but often we have to order out and this is where being a picky eater runs into some problems. It's hard to find any healthy dishes I enjoy with most of the places mostly because most of them are vegetable based or vege heavy. I tried doing grilled chicken from halal place but it is hard to order food for 2 people when 1 person is not on a diet and the other does not eat most of the healthy options. Naturally I have had to get regular non-diet foods like an occasional burger, italian/pizza, chinese rice/soup and mexican. Obviously I am not able to consume the entire portion of whatever I get and it is a bit of a waste of money with all the leftovers not eaten again but I was always taught that moderation was the most important thing no matter what you eat and it has not seemed to interrupt the weight loss this entire time so I thought it was ok but I am often wrong. I only have this delivery stuff a couple times a week at most and I don't order out the rest of the week when back home but I have noticed lately that no matter what I eat I am able to eat larger portions than I did a few months ago. I am not talking about eating an "overstuffing binge" amount but def a bit more than I could eat a few months ago. For example I ate 2 decent sized chicken breast cutlets tonight with no problem when a few months ago it was a struggle to eat 1 and a 1/2 drumsticks. It seems to be inconsistent too, in other words some days I can only handle a smaller portion and then the next day it could be a larger portion and it will just randomly switch between the 2 all week. This has me worried I have done something wrong to my stomach with my eating. Recently most of my diet has consisted of eating yogurt, I will have a "fruit on the bottom" cup multiple times a day either as a meal or as a snack and other than that I only eat fruit or some "Popcorners" (they are popcorn somehow shaped into a "potato chip" shape) but the nutritional facts state they are not a junk food chip with the bad stuff. OH, I also forgot to mention that even way before my surgery I only drink water. I DO NOT drink any kind of high sugar drinks, carbonated drinks or even anything with caffeine like coffee, soda or tea. I may have a glass of orange juice once in a blue moon but aside from that it's nothing but water all day every day. Does it sound like I screwed up and ruined this whole thing? My other issue I have noticed is my hair started coming out in worrying amounts when brushing and in clumps during a shower. I do have long hair and it seems to be getting thin in some spots and much more scalp is showing through if I pull my hair into a ponytail. I never had this issue before and it is scaring me a bit. I take a daily "complete" multi-vitamin along with an extra pill of Iron and I know my protein intake is probably not ideal but I don't think it is low enough to warrant the hair falling out like this. Is this something anyone has experienced? Lately I have been experiencing some body dismorphia where some days I will look in the mirror and notice my weight loss but some days my head starts to tell me I am either "gaining weight", "not losing anymore weight" or just a general lowering of self esteem and I swear that I start to see these things in the mirror when logic tells me it is not possible. One other thing that has been really messing with my head is the whole loose skin situation. I feel like the loose skin is going to make me look disgusting or undesirable when all is said and done but also it's kind of like "what was the point of losing all the weight if I will only look as bad or worse than I did when I was obese?" It kind of makes me think I will be trading in one type of depression for a new one and still be in the same boat I was before and I really don't want that. I feel like all the positive aspects of the surgery will only be physical in it's results but still leave me in the same low self esteem state of mind I was in before. Any of you run into this? Did you figure out how to get past it? Thanks in advance and again I apologize for the long post but I just want to get everything out in one shot. I look forward to any replies.

1) there are a lot more people who never make it to goal than there are people who lose too much weight. Besides, you have control over that. If you're feeling you're getting too low, you can increase your calories and stop the weight loss 2) yes - a lot of us deal with excessive skin, but it's easy for most of us to hide. You're likely the only one who'll know it's there. And if it drives you nuts, there's always plastic surgery 3) you will not lose all your hair. No one loses all their hair. There are a few who experience hair coming out in clumps, and there are a few who lose no hair at all. Most of us notice some "shedding" for a few months, but we're the only ones who notice it. And it grows back. 4) I heard no comments of alarm, even after losing over 200 lbs. People either didn't say anything at all (which I thought was very odd, as surely they noticed - maybe they just don't think it's appropriate to discuss weight??), or they went on & on about how great I looked 5) complications are uncommon and for those of us who have them, most are minor 6) nausea is not uncommon the first few days or weeks, but for life? No. That would be very rare. Plus they can give you Zofran to control it the first few days/weeks if it's bothersome I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am to have had this surgery. I LOVE being normal weight and NEVER want to be obese again!! It is worth EVERYTHING. I do remember worrying incessantly when I was a pre-op and early post-op about losing hair and excess skin. I lost very little hair - and my excess skin was easy to hide. No one knew it was there. In retrospect, I cannot believe I wasted even ONE brain cell worrying about these things. They are so insignificant in light of all the positive changes I went through. I would have this surgery again in a heartbeat - and if I had to go back every year to have it again, I would! Best decision I ever made. My only regret is that I didn't have it YEARS ago!

Hi everyone, I got a vsg in late May 2019, so it's been 6 months or so now, and I feel I did not make the most of the first 6 months. I healed remarkably well, and was able to tolerate all foods , and I had no discomfort or complications. My problems started when shortly before surgery, I started to worry that I would not get enough nutrients, and would become ill. I have young children and my main reason for wanting to lose weight is to be around for a long time for them. So for this reason I put more of the focus on eating healthier things. I did all my protein shakes, but I also spent a lot of time making green juices with no fruit and blending up greens. I took extra supplements such as turmeric and fish oil and a few other things. The first month or so I felt great, and looked better than ever, I felt like I was glowing with health, but I was chronically hungry from the start. I thought the best thing might be to add a lot of fat from natural sources like from avocados and meats and nut Butters and found that no matter what I did I was chronically hungry unless I ate that good amount of fat, I would wake up in the middle of the night looking for food to eat. Eventually I started adding in carbohydrates like breads, and found that I can eat a fair amount of them even though I know I should not be. I know that this is not the recommended diet, but I had a 1 meeting lesson on how to eat. Kaiser met with with a group of us patients pre-surgery and sent us home with a one-page quiz that we were asked to fill out and email a copy of to the nutritionist in order to schedule a surgery. There were no nutrition classes. I am an adult and I can research these things for myself, and I know I should have been eating things like protein and vegetables all along, but due to my fear if not getting enough nutrients, I fear I may have sabotaged my weight loss. I feel great and extremely healthy otherwise. No hair loss and no vitamin deficiencies. All 6 month bloodwork was excellent. My weight loss has been very slow. I went into surgery weighing 258lb, and today I weigh 225 . My question is about maximizing the first 6 months which I hear is so very important. Well, those six months are gone now, and I want to really make the most of this weight loss surgery. What would you all recommend as far as getting back on track in the healthiest way possible, and have I blown it I not maximizing that six months? Now that it's been about 6 months will I start to get even hungrier? Thanks so much for reading,and I look forward to your responses.

Hi everyone! First off my spelling sucks so sorry for all you reading this. Im venting (you all are my therapist right now) maybe even looking for other peoples opinions on how to deal with family. With this weight loss process there has been alot of ups and downs. Not only with the stalls with the weight loss but emotionally, mentally, physically its hard. I have found that getting the sleeve done and losing the first 50pounds ive started speaking my mind becoming more confident in my own skin with getting thinner but alSo getting angry with family and friends. My family is so judgmental! I dont believe what they think is best in life. I find ive lived in the shadow of my mother's religion for too long scared to do what i want in fear of my family not liking my choices thinking things i want are childish or stupid. I dont want to break our family communication but it seems its going that way. For instance i love tattoos i do, always have and have wanted a few for several years on my back. If i get what i want my sister would tell her kids im a bad example and she would look down on me because she believes its a sin. How do i separate what i want and what my family thinks. My family will blame my weight loss for getting the tattoos i know it. Bothers me! I mentioned how when i lose 30 more pounds hopefully by Christmas this year i want to cut my long hair to my shoulders and do something drastic maybe bleach it blonde. My sister flipped and said why would you do that to your beautiful hair when so many cant even grow it that long. She makes me feel bad and has me second guessing everything. Another topic ive mentioned id like to have a baby in the next year or 2 and she says you almost divorced your husband last year why would you even consider having another baby with him. First off my husband and i are doing a thousand times better now and what we went threw has brought us closer together. Then She said our family has issues so why would i bring another baby with our genes into this world.. its funny she says this when she has alot of kids with the same genes as i do. She also said why would i want to get fat with a baby when i did this surgery to get skinny seems stupid. I find myself wanting to pull away maybe even move out of state to feel like our family can start over with out all there drama. My sister also says soo are you likeing that ur getting thinner faster with your surgery and not having to work for it. It made me really annoyed and wanting to cuss her out. This is a hard process i actually feel like i could of lost more doing weight watchers and the gym than i do now. So many foods upset my stomach. Healthy food is hard to eat. My stomach hates all raw veggies and home made meat i find it hard getting in protein unless its store bought and cooked then it seems to go down fine. Its frusterating! I tend to go to crackers because there soothing to my tummy. Im upset as u can tell i may sound nuts. Lol. Im sick of having to buy acid reducers now. I have to take one everynight to be able to get to bed it burns soo much with out it. Im 32 and feel as if my family has a say on what i do in life. I hate it. I hate there dumb comments. I dont know if i should sit down and talk to my family or just pull away and maybe later in life we will get closer together. My mom doesnt see how rude she is ether. She comes in my house and tells me how much im finally becoming a cleaner person with less clutter and how worried shed been with my clutter in the past few years. My moms worries now with the weight loss ill become a ****. Haha i laugh saying it out loud. When i was obese i wore sweatpants and tank tops with rips in them cause i was soo depressed with myself i didnt care how i looked because it didnt matter i was still fat nothing i did i was still ugly. All she can talk about is negative with me. Im Sick of it. Now every bite i take there watching me and judging what im eatting and how much. They all practicality took a pole saying i was going to eventually gain all my weight back because thats how i am. I feel as if im the black sleep in my family and everything i do isnt good enough. I am looked down on. My husband says ignore them and dont talk to them but i feel like they are the only people i have to talk too. Maybe its normal to have so much judgement with family members. I never noticed before this surgery how much i didnt notice all the criticism and judement friends and family have and how it effects me. I guess i could go on for hours with everything thats upseting me so i guess ill stop now. Sorry for the long vent. Feeling alittle better just by writing it down..... maybe i should start writing in a diary:)

I eat fairly simply. Never been a spicy food person so no loss there. The only carb I knowingly eat is rolled oats. I can eat fish, all meats, eggs & cheeses. My tastebuds still are not fond of many vegetables & fruit I used to love though. The only takeaway food i’ve tried is Chinese chicken & cashews (without the cashews). As I can only eat small amounts, I focus on protein and eat little or no vegetables or salad - three/four spoons of protein (half a sausage, a small lamb cutlet, small chicken leg) & a small cauliflower floret & i’m done. Takes me three days to eat two scrambled eggs. I eat slowly & mindfully. If i’m stressed (like worrying about what I can eat when dining out) my body shuts down & I can eat even less. (I’ve had to calm several concerned wait staff stressing everything tasted delicious & the reason i’ve barely touched my meal is just me.) I find it hard to get my fluids in each day. Alcohol is an occasional treat now - I can nurse a gin & tonic for hours. Tolerated my first glass of champagne last week. Yay! Only vomited food once. I just wish the gurgling would stop and the hair loss. Listen to your body. Find what works for you. Everyone’s experience is different. Yes, you will have to change your diet & find healthier foods to eat. But this is a new and better world. Enjoy!

you'd know by now if you had a leak hair loss - pre-ops and early post-ops often worry incessantly about this (I did, too!), but most of us don't lose enough that other people notice. If you're worried about losing big clumps of hair and having bald patches like someone who's on chemo, well, that is kind of rare. I actually hardly lost any hair at all. But even if I had, I'd take temporary hair loss any day over weighing over 300 lbs again. ANY DAY!! most people (not all - but most) do have a substantial decrease in hunger/appetite - for many it goes away completely for several months. So yes - the loss of hunger/appetite does make it much easier to eat small portions. For most of us, it does come back after a few months, though, and things get more challenging then.

Hello Everyone! I hope you're all doing well. I'm so glad I found this site. I will be one week post op tomorrow. My head has been working overtime. The reason is that I also suffer from anxiety. So there are so many questions and concerns rumbling around in my head. I'm worried about leaks, worried that I'm not taking enough nutrients in, worried about hair loss, worried about when to start taking vitamins, wondering when I'll start losing weight. I'm thinking about how all this will work after I'm several weeks post op. Does my appetite naturally decrease? Will it be easy or hard to eat very small portions in 20 or 30 minute intervals? I worry that every little post op symptom I feel is something bad! Yikes, I know I can be too much. I sincerely apologize, everyone. I know that it's still very recent for me and I need to be patient. Intellectually I know that but my heart and head are saying otherwise. Thanks to you all out there for listening. Soyra

Agree with everything said. For me #1 was that I was going to have a journey that was unlike anyone else I'd read about. I obsessively watched WLS videos on youtube and expected to be like everyone else. What I learned: 1. Some people drop a ton of weight right away and I did NOT 2. A lot of people had dumping, foamies, food getting stuck and I did not at all 3. A lot of people have hair loss and I do not 4. Many people feel no hunger and I was fricken starving from day one You really shouldnt have any expectations of what it'll be like because it could be total opposite for you. I told the nurse how paranoid I was about dehydration and as it turned out I drank my water just fine. Essentially, dont worry about what could happen, take it day by day.

Hi, I went for the consult yesterday & was very pleased with bedside manner of doctor..have been going back & forth deciding about whether to have surgery for about 5 years now but have to do it, sick & tired of feeling like crap, having to look for extended sizes of clothes, etc...I'm just worried that I can't do the diet, having the restrictions, etc...and the biggest fear of hair loss! OMG, I'm a fanatic about my hair but hopefully it does grow back as I'm reading?? I hope the diet isn't too hard to follow, so used to just eating whatever I want!! I guess those days will be over too..appreciate any feedback. Thanks!!

HAIR LOSS: I haven't lost any more since having the surgery. I already had thyroid problems and thin/fine hair, so I was worried about losing anymore. I've been taking Biotin pills and using Nioxin and Minoxidil and have actually gained some hair. TOO THIN: Probably not anything to worry about. Our bodies self-regulate. LOOSE SKIN: So far mine has stayed elastic, even at my age (54). There are plastic surgeries to take care of that after you lose the weight if it's a problem for you. DEHYDRATION: I've never had a problem getting in way more than 64 oz of fluid each day. I sip, sip, sip all day long.

the hair & skin thing are individual and not much will help either one. I had minimal hair loss - as in, if it weren't for the extra strands I noticed in my comb, I never would have noticed. Most people notice some on themselves, but no one else does. Losing clumps of hair and having bald spots is possible, but it's very uncommon. with excess skin, you may not have much since you're starting at such a low BMI. But that also varies depending on a lot of factors. For many of us, it's very easy to hide. And I think all of us looking back would say we wonder why we wasted so many brain cells worrying about it, since loose skin is a very small price to pay for what we got in exchange. I would take my loose skin ANY DAY over weighing 300 lbs again! getting too thin: first of all, not getting to goal is a MUCH more common problem than getting too thin. And you do have control over your weight loss. You can always put on the brakes if you start to worry that you're getting too thin - you just have to increase your calories until the weight loss stops.

Hi and welcome! Hair Loss: maybe? We're all different. Getting too thin: Worry about following your surgeon's plan. Good news is most of us already broke the code on how to gain weight. Worry about how to lose down to your personal goal. The rest takes care of itself regardless of starting weight. Loose skin: Probably. Also individual and depends on genetics and age usually. Dehydration: The struggle is real for many. Fluid is KING before and after surgery. If you stay fully hydrated then it's easier to eat normally and remain nausea free and losing weight. I'm 17 months out. At 4 days I was getting my 64oz of liquids in and now I have 100+oz per day every day. Congrats on making the pre-emptive changes. I've got zero regrets. Don't be anxious!

I'm not worried about hair loss, my hair is super thick so if anything I'm kind of looking forward to that part. It's just that I don't want someone to assume I'm "normal average" size and then have to explain the loose skin and see them get grossed out. Just not looking forward to that part. And that may all be in my head, maybe whoever I tell will be super cool about it, I guess it's just the unknown that worries me.

Hey guys! I'm in a super weird predicament that I'd never thought I'd be in. I am in the beginning stages of weight loss surgery, scheduled to meet with the team in two weeks and then a few months until signing consent and getting a surgery appointment. Last month my common law partner of 12 years told me he is transgender. I never dated in high school, I have only ever been with him. So now at 31 and beginning this journey I find myself single. We are good friends so besides the financial and emotional stress there aren't any bad or hard feelings. But now I'm looking at making new relationships, both friendships and potentially eventually romantic ones. How do I do that during this process? Has anyone been there before? How do you explain to someone I may not always look like this, or loose skin and hair loss may be part of the process. I live in a small town, I don't even know how to begin the process of making friends as an adult, not to mention as an obese adult. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Or have advice? Edit-- I should add that I am not looking to start dating right away, I'm not in that kind of headspace yet, but I am anxious about the day when I feel ready. Just the worries of ever being in a relationship again are on my mind.

SIGH, my husband keeps saying that "he knows lots of ppl who have had bariatric surgery when I started looking into WLS, when I got serious about it, when I actively pursued approval..and again today. I have been, perhaps because of vanity, a bit hesitant to bring up the subject of WLS causing potential hair loss..as I've been a bit worried about..well, how he might feel about how i look...and he heard me listening to some youtube videos done by ppl who have had both gastric sleeve and/or bypass. I'm trying to make sure that I get the one that is the best fit for me, not based on just what the doctor says. He kept interrupting but was asking questions so I thought ok, now he is interested that is cool. He asked about difference between bypass and sleeve. I gave him some basics. Just based on the quicker weight loss he 'agrees with new dr' that I should have that. Then I told him my concerns about dumping/malabsorption (do you lose more hair with bypass than with sleeve due to this?)..and he brought out the "no one i know who as had WLS has ever showed any signs of hair loss"... He is a distant co-worker to 2 ppl he THINKS may have had WLS. He doesn't intimately know them. He has told me this before. When I went through diff things (pros and cons of each) he became more horrified and said "maybe you shouldn't be doing this and just keep trying to lose weight". SIGH...I've been "trying to lose weight" most of my life...although I was never super morbidly obese until my late 30's. Anyone else have mixed signals from their 'closest support'? I've invited him to the 3 hr seminar/clinic I went to and to my dr appts. Don't get me wrong, it's not that he doesn't care at all..he just "doesn't get it..that he doesn't get it" I really...could use him "getting it". I guess I'll have to start a pros and cons thread on sleeve vs. bypass. I've looked at many old threads that have been posted here over the years and I've googled, etc. - but mine would be in regards to the fact of my own co-morbidities or lack thereof, etc.

Your describing exactly what I am going through. I'm almost 4 months post-op and having terrible acne and my hair is coming out. I never thought I would have to worry about hair loss because I have a lot if hair. But, seeing the amount if hair in my brush is alarming. I dont have the solution yet, but I did go and buy biotin and shampoo and conditioner with biotin in it. I've been using it for about a week now. Hoping it works. Best of luck to you!

I am new here, I haven’t been on a public forum in a long time (and for a reason) but I thought it might be helpful to write out my bariatric surgery journey as best I can. I don’t know anyone who has had the surgery with chronic illness, disability, multiple medical conditions, etc. let alone anyone with M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) which is a kind of immunodeficiency. I’ve lived with this from childhood and also battled with my weight longer than I care to remember. This is long and hard to talk about without going into intense detail. I wasn’t not diagnosed with M.E. Until I was in my early twenties. It was a long road to get there and led to many questions and many other medical conditions down the road. At some point my weight skyrocketed out of control and I was at a loss as to what to do. I was diagnosed with metabolic disorders but meds made me sick and doctors don’t discuss weight. They only vaguely agree that the metabolic disorders cause weight gain. And at most prescribe risky weight loss drugs. At some point I was just too sick to know what to do. The reality is I always will be sick. It was easier to eat carbs when I didn’t feel well enough to tolerate much food. I was always a clean plate person and hate waste. My weight grew to over 215lbs and my body couldn’t take it. I needed to do something even if it took every ounce of my being. I didn’t know then what I know and doctors know now about M.E./CFS. But I studied holistic health and nutrition, trying everything to no avail. I ended up trying a combination of low carb/Atkins and calorie counting (weight watchers points) slowly I lost weight (I was 5’ 4” then 5’ 2” I kept losing inches due to degenerative disc disease and arthritis in my spine , I’m now about 5’) I got down to the lowest I’d ever been at 123lbs. But it crept back up by 10lbs. But I had to accept it. I started having trouble eating certain foods and feeling very sick. I had some major stress events happen, several surgeries on my feet and tendons, and also Major surgery (hysterectomy) I wasn’t eating the best I could for reasons I couldn’t control. Eventually my weight hit 160lbs about when I moved with my mother to a new state. I was on a beta blocker and reduced my calories further and did strict low carb again. But reached about 134lbs. I couldn’t sustain it. Not that long ago, months, my sense of time is terrible I can say what happened but not the order or time. I fought as hard as I could and would go on nature walks until I learned more about the birds and became a birder and took to loving photographing them. I went as often as I could and it wasn’t often enough. I found out the hard way that Myalgic Encephalomyelitis causes something called post exertional malaise. Doctors only now are starting to understand it and it explains a lot. Activities from simply writing out this message, taking a shower, making a meal to exercise, make my medical condition worse and cause lasting damage that I lose bits of my self. And doing no I enjoy hurts like a punishment. My weight started a sudden drastic climb from 134lb to 160+ and I went to doctors and specialists hoping for an answer why. And then again it continued to climb to 180lbs. I had thought about bariatric surgery the first time but wanted to do it on my own. But this time I couldn’t, my body just wasn’t burning enough calories and how little could I eat without getting too sick. I was eating healthy the same portions as my mother, almost the same meals, I prepared us lunch almost every day and she is the same height but at most 100lbs. It was fight for surgery or nothing. The first time I saw a bariatric surgeon he talked at me and didn’t listen, my weight was slightly below BMI to qualify with comorbidities, i had plenty. But nothing acceptable by my insurance. I had just had to have surgery for another problem and could hardly eat. But I kept gaining. And I gave up on that doctor. I forgot to say I found out at some point that the reasons some foods made me sick was my gallbladder and surgery was recommended so I decided if I have to have that then I should pursue bariatric surgery since recovery is quite similar. eventually it reached 200lbs and I was on the edge of being nearly 40 BMI. I decided to see another endocrinologist about my medical conditions. She couldn’t help me since the meds make me too sick and I explained how I eat and count calories and yet my weight skyrocketed. I was about to quit when I decided to say I was fighting for bariatric surgery. She said go to Cleveland clinic. It’s a far distance from me and I needed medical assistance for rides there. But I got in to see Dr. Szomstein and he right away was ready and willing to help me, I was a hair from 40 BMI at the first appointment. He didn’t quite understand all my medical conditions if at all but he knew what to do. He said I should have RNY Gastric bypass due to severe GERD and I was thankful for that since it would reduce calorie absorption as well. I was almost not expecting approval from my insurance. I had months of my doctors noting my efforts to lose weight and letters from the endocrinologist and surgeon. They had me go for pre op tests and medical clearance. I still didn’t expect anything. i was in target when my mom and she got a phone call. Scheduling surgery in two weeks and for me to start the liquid diet that day. The surgery date was April 29th. I was so unprepared my gastroenterologist had wanted me to have a colonoscopy before surgery and that didn’t happen (he wasn’t happy with that) I knew I was possibly in for hell with this, but it was either surgery or give up. surgery day I was like this is easy. But I hit a bumpy road. Without going into too much detail right now. I didn’t expect it’s impact on my chronic illness. Waking up from surgery was like a long tunnel I couldn’t get out of. I was partially aware of things around me during the entire surgery just sped up like a weird dream. In the hospital room when most people get up and walk, my body couldn’t move at all. And when I tried once I crashed hard. Every chronic pain in my body was screaming all at once in the hospital. I was having severe pain in my chest, they blamed on gas I knew it wasn’t. I was struggling to breathe and needed the oxygen longer. My surgical drain kept getting full too fast. The catheter hurt. I high pain tolerance and yet this was slamming me everywhere all at once. They tried me on liquids by day three and I just wanted out. I got home and had trouble breathing and was very weak. I struggled to do laundry and get groceries. Then I started spiking fevers. My body doesn’t react with fever when it needs to, my lungs are sometimes too weak to cough when I need to. My temp went over 102 at night then dropped to low grade by morning. I ended up being told to go to the ER but I couldn’t get to Cleveland clinic. Long story short it was another long three days in hospital, pneumonia, acute uti, and critically low potassium. My temp was normal. They pumped me with potassium and antibiotics but had no concept of pain control and knew nothing about post bariatric surgery diet of protein drinks and liquids. They brought me a regular meal for breakfast. By day three I wanted out. I left with a diagnosis of Aspiration pneumonia, and esophageal dysphasia and told to see an ent (who then told me to see a neurologist) and a incidental finding of a pelvic adnexal mass that I am see my euro/gun about. Swallowing is painful, the pain in my chest never went away it waxes and wanes and gets out of control painful at night. I am still mostly liquids. I was supposed to start purée some time ago. I tried some things that were palatable but the first tiny bite I got Nauseous and couldn’t push it even sitting drying to consume either liquid or purée took nearly an hour and the purée was just not working. I don’t regret it yet I do yet I don’t. I’m still trying to get answers to some things. Other things I won’t go into detail now. This is much too long. I saw the doctor for follow ups twice. This time he ordered a upper GI fluoroscopy, and then a endoscopy. The first is this Wednesday. I’m struggling to get in at least 50 grams of protein a day. I lost around 27lbs but am in a five day stall. I think that’s as much as I can describe for now. But my one issue no one ever addressed is no nsaids aka Ibuprofen for life. I took it three times a day to take a bit of the edge off my chronic pain. My muscle relaxer doesn’t do much and it’s impossible to grind and swallow tablets. Thankfully diphenhydramine comes in sleep melts. But I have no pain management now. And I can’t function to walk as much. I try to keep on my feet as much as I can to at least do what I need to do. But now when I crash each day I crash hard. I got extremely sick doing laundry when I had to do three loads and threw up more than once. (I have a bit of ptsd when it comes to throwing up) but this is too much to write here and now. I just am finding myself alone in this, my mom can’t quite understand how it is. And I don’t know anyone else who has chronic illness that has had gastric bypass surgery. I’m not worried about food, I can make my mom a meal and not want to eat it. Actually my taste is nonexistent. I had trouble with it prior as well as my sense of smell. But so much just tastes nasty and bitter. (Didn’t help I ended up with nasty oral thrush I can’t shake) i feel weird putting this all out there. So I hope that sometime say can relate to someone somewhere in some way. christine