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I’m in New Zealand today, where I have been for the past three weeks. It has been a privilege to work with a number of bariatric professionals from different disciplines associated with the Foundations Healthy Living Retreat. During this five-day retreat, a small group of post-operative bariatric patients live together, eat together, exercise together, learn together and share with one another. Various staff members share their expertise about healthy living. Topics include much more than how to eat well and exercise. Participants learn the importance of focusing on personal values in all areas of their lives, discover the importance of positive self-talk, address self-sabotage and learn the importance of living mindfully. Coping skills, communication skills, and boundary setting skills are discussed. The topics of shame and vulnerability are explored, as well. Participants get what all bariatric patients in all corners of the world need following bariatric surgery: the Foundations of Healthy Living. Hmmm… good name for the retreat! I’m in New Zealand today, where I have been for the past three weeks. It has been a privilege to work with a number of bariatric professionals from different disciplines associated with the Foundations Healthy Living Retreat. During this five-day retreat, a small group of post-operative bariatric patients live together, eat together, exercise together, learn together and share with one another. Various staff members share their expertise about healthy living. Topics include much more than how to eat well and exercise. Participants learn the importance of focusing on personal values in all areas of their lives, discover the importance of positive self-talk, address self-sabotage and learn the importance of living mindfully. Coping skills, communication skills, and boundary setting skills are discussed. The topics of shame and vulnerability are explored, as well. Participants get what all bariatric patients in all corners of the world need following bariatric surgery: the Foundations of Healthy Living. Hmmm… good name for the retreat! What I think as I look around me are the many “non-coincidences” in my immediate surrounding. I do not believe that my being here, halfway around the world, is a coincidence. To begin with, Dr. David Schroeder, a bariatric surgeon, and his wife, Andrea, are, in many ways, absurdly similar in personality to my husband Steve and myself. David and Steve are both kind, intelligent, rational, left-brain thinkers who are mild-mannered and soft-spoken. Andrea and I, on the other hand, while also kind and intelligent, are passionate, passionate and more passionate. Translated, we are thinkers and DO-ers, we are upfront and direct, and are most definitely whatever the opposite of soft-spoken is. Oh, loud. That’s it! Andrea and David are passionate about their work in the bariatric field. They are zealous about the physical health of surgical weight loss patients and are also super passionate about the patients’ psychological health. The Schroeder’s know that the journey of recovering from obesity takes a lifetime and includes the physical and the psychological wellbeing of each person. Andrea created the Foundations of Healthy Living Retreat and they have been hosting the retreats for the past five years. It is definitely not a coincidence that David reached out to me after reading my first book, Eat It Up! Our professional philosophies are very much in sync. My work, with great help from Steve, is all about addressing the psychological needs of patients while their physical needs are being medically managed. David and Andrea, like Steve and myself, dedicate much more than our careers to providing bariatric patients with education and support. We address the WHOLE person, pre-operatively and after weight loss surgery. We put our hearts and souls into the work we do because we are convinced by the feedback our patients provide that they want and need much more than the surgical procedure can provide in order for them to live healthy lives, both physically and psychologically following bariatric surgery. Since meeting in 2011, I have learned a great deal by working with both Andrea and David. The Schroeder’s have twice brought me to New Zealand where I have had the opportunity to learn from and contribute to, the lives and education of their patients and staff. Andrea and David, as well as every person presenting information at the retreat, address bariatric patients from a whole person perspective. Each participant is treated respectfully and compassionately, as a human being who is much more than a bariatric patient. Their emotional support needs are emphasized, as a success following bariatric surgery involves more than dealing with a person’s biological innards. Is it a coincidence that Andrea and David, in New Zealand, know the same things that Steve and I know in the US? We all know and work toward, helping patients and bariatric professionals realize that bariatric patients have tremendous emotional and psychological needs that require attention. Behavior modification by itself is not enough when it comes to sustaining weight loss. If it were, well… wouldn’t more people have kept weight off after diets and bariatric surgery? Is it a coincidence that the bariatric patients I have talked with during individual sessions, along with the participants at the retreats, all from New Zealand, talk about the exact same issues as the bariatric patients I have worked with in the US for the past 15 years? I’m not talking about the physical problems. I’m talking about the lack of self-care this population acknowledges. Not just in their eating and exercise behaviors. These people talk about a great lack of self-value that translates to a lack of proper self-care. The greatest common denominator aside from the physical co-morbidities of the bariatric patients I have spent time with in both countries boils down to this: I don’t believe I’m good enough. That, my friends, is the definition of shame. Our bariatric patients need to heal from the shame that draws them back into unhealthy habits. Healing from shame requires much, much more than a bariatric procedure in an operating room, or “theater,” as they call it in New Zealand. It is not coincidental that bariatric patients across the globe suffer from shame. It is tragic that so few bariatric professionals around the world are willing to provide the full spectrum of care that patients require in order to be able to follow through with behavior modification techniques. Deep shame will eventually extinguish behavior modification efforts. How long before more bariatric professionals get it? How long before more than a handful of patients get the emotional support and psychological care they need after bariatric surgery? How long before we provide a truly comprehensive program to help our patients eliminate shame and establish self-acceptance? The shame belongs to the programs and professionals who do not provide a comprehensive program… because those programs simply aren’t good enough. (Along with the Schroeder’s, I will be offering residential retreats through bariatric centers in the near future. For more information, contact me at connie@conniestapletonphd.com.) I’m grateful for the non-coincidences that have led to meeting Andrea and David Schroeder. I am not surprised to see and hear that the patients in our very distant geographical countries are so very similar. Mostly, I am thrilled to know that there are professionals and patients who know that the Foundations of Healthy Living go way beyond medical care alone! For now, patients can participate in the GAIN While You Lose 10-week program. This is a great way for patients around the country (and the world) to have access to the same topics discussed in the Foundations of Living Retreat. This class includes an hour and a half “lesson,” taught live but available online or via recorded session, followed by weekly homework to make the information applicable to each person’s life. (http://www.conniestapletonphd.com/onlin…/weight-loss-program) Why aren’t we currently doing retreats in the US? Are you, the patients, willing to pay to attend? Are you willing to take the time and spend the money to invest in yourself? Do you value yourself enough to work on your emotional issues? You’ve most likely been willing to pay hundreds to thousands of dollars for weight loss programs, powders, gimmicks and scams. What about actually finding a way to find self-acceptance, a requirement for being able to follow through with behavior modification tools? Patients: there is no shame in having problems. It is tragic to me if you know there are problems, but choose not address them. Please seek the help you need! After all: YOUR HEALTH is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. THIS DAY. EVERY DAY.

My family doc also does my bloodwork. She wondered which tests I needed and I said, "I can google it for you" and she said, no.. she could get the list. She went out, and came back 10 minutes later with a comprehensive list. So they do have access to these things (or at least mine does). I was short on Vitamin A and D. With all your symptoms, it sounds like it is a given that you're needing some things. Please talk to your doctor about getting that bloodwork done every year. If they refuse, you need a new doctor. Since you are a bariatric patient, insurance companies understand the need for these tests. Hope you can get sorted out soon!

I still use the patches and im 10 months out. I do the multi, biotin, and the anti-aging patch. I love them and feel awesome. My labs have been spot on too.

Sounds like you are off to a great start...I had A LOT of gas post op and still have the occasional problem with it....it's a good thing to not have dumping besides...we can't fit that much in there anyways lol....i am down 19....26 including the end day preop clears.... 3 day*

Omg im so glad i saw this post. I thought I was the only one that had struggels. I was sleeved July 11 2012. I have only lost 53 pounds. It has not been a easy road. My husband is over weight. And like you say he supports me but not really. He wants to eat out all the time. And i hate to cook so it does not take much to get me to go . I hate to exercise. I do like to ride bikes. So i bought me a spin bike. And i listen to my music while i ride my bike. I started just doing it for 10 min each day. Then i worked up to 60 minuntes 6 days a week. I can tell you I get grumpy if i dont get my ride in. I think it just makes my head feel better. Its a way to get away from all my worrys. I have been trying to figure this out, I try to eat at least 80 grams of Protein a day. I have to really watch the carbs. I feel like im addicted to them again. For the first time in my life I am putting myself first. I told my husband we can only go out to eat 1x a week. And I have stuck to it. I am tired of being unhealthy, and if he does not want to join me then he will pay the price for it. I work from home and food is all around me. I did go and buy a small tote for my husband and it sits on my frig. I put his junk foods in there. If i dont see it im ok not to eat it. I buy skinny pop , Peanut Butter , rice cakes, Protein Bars, almonds. I try to make them my snack food if i have to have something. I eat my protine first , i eat off a small plate and i use a childs fork to eat with. Just this week i started to only eat at my kitchen table and i turn everything off and i just try to focus on my food. I am a fast eater and I dont chew my food up. So I hope maybe this will help to jump start my weight loss. Im on my fitness pal and i log my food on there. Its nice to see the diary's of other people that will give you some ideas on what to eat. Im only friends with people that have had the surgery on my Fitness pal. Except for my daughter. If you deside to sign up my name is lowe1961. Good luck , I know we can do this. However it is much harder then I thought. I guess I really didnt expect it to be hard.

My husband was not supportive at all initially. He thought I looked fine just the way I was; that if I wanted to look better that I could do it on my own; that it was selfish of me for putting myself at risk when we had kids; that it was too much money (I'm self pay). We fought about this, but I stuck to my guns and I told him that I was going to have it; that if I could have lost it on my own, I would have done it 10 years ago; that it was not selfish of me because it's supposed to help me help myself get healthier and live longer; that despite the fact that he felt I was beautiful the way I was (which makes me love him even more), I didn't feel good--with both my health and size; and that I felt I was worth every penny and that I was disappointed that de didn't. That last part of the heart-to-heart got him. I think spouses fear the unknown, change from what's become the norm, and insecure about getting left behind. I had our heart-to-heart and explained all the ins and outs, the minimal risks (my surgeon has performed over 1,500 sleeves with only 2 complications, placing him way below the national average--this gave him some comfort), and I made him see what I felt. Your wife is feeling left out of this new venture, despite you keeping her informed, because in her eyes you are going over to the other side where the grass s greener without her. Talk to her about making life style changes together. Talk about how you can accomplish this as a team. That's we did. We went back to our old ways nutritionally, stepping away from fast food and "convenient" dinners. We started exercising together, we have the kids exercising (I just bought my 11 year-old-daughter weight training gloves and started teaching her about building muscle). This new venture that I've started with myself is no longer about myself, but about the well being of our family as a whole. We are ALL involved, not just informed.

My husband and I have been complication-free so far as well. It's early for us, only 10 days, but like Cindy, if it weren't for the scars, the inability to eat much, and the tiredness that comes on me too easily, I too would wonder if anything had changed. Apart from the most important thing which is that R has lost 20 lbs and I have lost 19 lbs in 3 weeks! NEVER in our lives have we managed that before. I was almost afraid to post my "not too bad" recovery story because I thought I might be giving people false hope because surely it's not that easy for everyone? So I'm doubly glad to see this post. Glad to hear you're doing well, and glad that this "not too bad" is in fact the norm for many, if not most of us.

I'm at a stall too. I'm 19 days out. Lost 14lbs by the 7th day now it's barely coming off?? Feeling like its wls fail :-(

Hi All - yes, its me again and I am reaching out about food ideas during the first two months post op. I am running out of food ideas for vegans and its getting quite boring and to be honest I would rather not eat. Food these days just doesn't look appealing anymore and its more of a chore to eat now. Any food suggestions or combinations to share would be greatly appreciated. Thank you 😃

My doc says I can drink diet sodas as long as they don't cause too much discomfort (I haven't had a problem with them yet.) He just recommends to pour it over ice and let it sit for 5-10 minutes before drinking. So far so good. Of course he doesn't want me drinking regular sodas, but I have found some diet ones that I like alot...Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet A&W Root Beer, and Diet Sprite (all caffeine free.)

Hi Sweetie! I TOTALLY hear you. My (abreviated) story is that I've been overweight all my life, with it steadily getting worse. I did Atkins diet several time, Optifast (before Oprah!), Carbohydrate Addicts Diet, etc... The most success I ever had was with Overeaters Anonymous. I went to OA faithully for about 3 years and lost 85lbs. I worked out at the gym heavily during this time and had a strong support system through OA. They truly loved me until I could love myself and helped me work through the emotional issues I had around eating that traditional therapy just couldn't touch. I can't say enough good things about OA. However, once I got within 15lbs of my goal weight (I was then in my early 30's), I blossomed so much, dating, flying airplanes, diving with sharks, dating, sailing, dating- having a LIFE in other words, that I stopped going to meetings and thought I was 'cured.' I told myself that I'd never regain the weight. That lack of humility (or understanding of the massive complexity of the disease of obesity and compulsive eating) was the first step in my relapse. I subsequently regained all of the 85lbs, plus another 9 over the course of 5 years. I didn't lose the progress I made in OA- I never went back to binging on remotely the same level as before, and my head remained screwed on straight enough to meet and marry an extremely healthy wonderful man. The weight issue has just NEVER gone away. I felt very conflicted about getting this VSG. I also buckled down and got a trainer and started getting into much better shape before the surgery. I asked my husband if I really needed to get the VSG after all. His response was that, after seeing me attempt 10's of well-meaning false starts to go back to OA and the gym, it just wasn't happening. Also, at age 40, my cholesterol had finally come back high, and my A1C was also elevated for the first time (predictor of diabetes). My joints are always sore, and we want to have children. He refuses to let me get pregnant while overweight for health reasons, and frankly, I agree. I asked my husband if he thought I had failed by needing the VSG. He said that all evidence shows that while some can lose significant amounts of weight and keep it off through diet and exercise, most can't. I did what I needed to do (he's built like an underwear model by the way, eats well, goes to the gym almost everyday, so even having HIM as a support system wasn't enough!) So hence my decision. We felt like the VSG was our last chance. I felt that I had tried everything else and was worn out from the fruitless exhausting effort. I liken it to an insulin pump or a liver transplant. I have a serious disease. There is help. I took it. Having said all of that, I still mean to go back to OA for support do deal with all of the myriad issues that are related to this disease. That is where I know I can find a fellowship of people who understand me, accept me, and are making a concerted effort to lead emotionally spiritually and physically self-accountable lives. I don't know how old you are, or what your life situation is, but I'd recommend going to OA for 3 meetings. Then, whatever you choose to do, you'll have a group of people to support you. That's my two cents. Take care!

I felt the exact same way since I was so successful at losing during the Options classes. And I feel this is exactly why Kaiser patients are so well prepared by the time they have surgery. It's so great that you're thinking long and hard about this and you have the opportunity to "weigh" (ha ha) all your "options" ha ha (I crack myself up). I can offer you this: with all my thorough thinking and even though I knew I was so sure about going through with it, the moment I woke up from surgery I said "why didn't someone talk me out of this?" (But I was just a miserable whiney surgery patient). But now? I love it. Every day I feel like I have a secret weapon that has finally broken the pattern. I finally feel normal and have such comfort knowing the weight is off for good. I have zero regrets. Zero. I can still eat whatever I want. I'm not deprived. Wish I had it done 10 years ago. Keep thinking and good luck on your decision!

God, Christie, I really needed to read this right now. I returned from Iraq almost 2 months ago and in that time have only lost about 10 pounds. I know people will jump on me for saying "only" but yeah, only! With this surgery and being in my first year (8 mos out), I get to say "only" because we all know it should be more! I have fallen off with attending this forum, fallen off with inputting to my diet tracker, my protein is way low. Yes I have finally crossed over the Great Two Hundred Divide, but only just. I haven't hit 100 lbs lost yet. I am surrounded by delicious food and these old feelings of inadequacy are coming back - I'm the fattest one in tango class, in zumba class, and the biggest size in regular stores still doesn't fit me right, but the smallest size in plus is too big. in the last 20 days I have lost maybe 3 pounds. I'm eating protein bullets, greek yogurt, sashimi (no rice), and baked chicken almost every day. I dance or zumba or something every day. And only a pound a week. =( =(

Great job working your Sleeve. Congratulations! I had my gallbladder removed in November and put on 10 pounds from the morning of surgery to the next evening. I was amazed at how much Fluid must have been pumped into me. Feels great to have it out, doesn't it? :001_smile:

Hi, I just got sleeved 10-4-11 so I am now looking at post-surgery posts and found your post. I will be 68 on the 24th of this month. I must say this was the easiest of now 4 abdominal surgeries, but not quite as I expected recovery wise. For one thing I have genuine hunger, not head hunger. The second thing is I am not making it on liquids only. I have pureed some chili, had 1/2 cup mashed beans with shredded chesse, and some sugar free pudding. From other posts I see some people are allowed mushies right out the gate. I haven't had any trouble with these foods. Sometimes I get an air bubble and have to wait until I burp. As far as exercise I have had both of my knees replaced and two discs in my back removed so I'm not doing handstands-don't ever expect to. I will be happy if I can walk without struggling for air. How are you doing? Would love to hear your ideas and where you are in all this. Monty

I can go 10-15 days unless I am on top of things with fiber supplements, Mirilax, Colase, Milk of magnesia (blech) when needed. My husband and I joke about when it is "poop day" lol - he has the same issues after his own vsg as well.

Hi, I'm Cassi. It has taken me several years to make this decision. I previously felt like I was "giving up" or somehow "cheating" if I chose to do bariatric surgery. I felt like I needed to learn the lessons I needed to learn by working through this on my own. Now I've come to a point where I feel like the lesson I need to learn is that I don't have to do everything on my own. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to NEED help. For so long I attached a lot of "moral rightness/wrongness" to choosing the surgery, as if losing weight the "old-fashioned way", i.e. diet and exercise, meant I was somehow stronger, better, etc. I have come to see it as a tool, a way of helping with the hunger part of the equation while I stay committed to the diet and exercise parts. I went to my PCP on Sept 6, 2007 with my decision to do the lap-band, which she whole-heartedly supported. From there, insurance had to approve the referral to a bariatric surgeon. They initially denied it, but then reversed their decision a few days later based on additional notes from PCP (showing consistent weight loss attempts). I have been to the requisite seminar, have scheduled the psych eval, and have scheduled the initial consultation with the surgeon, set for Oct 19, 2007. I'm hopeful that an approval to have a surg. consult. will mean that they will approve the actual procedure. It doesn't necessarily meant that, of course, but I can still hope, yes? Right now I'm at the stage of practicing eating with a lap-band--not the microscopic portion sizes, of course, but chewing thoroughly, eating slowly, avoiding "cheat" foods like ice cream, etc. My concerns are primarily centered around social issues. How/what do I tell people who say, "Wow, you look great!"? What is life at a Thanksgiving family get-together like? How do I deal with those who think I took the easy way out (believe me, I understand their mindset--I've been there). I just don't want to feel like I have to "explain myself" for the rest of my life. Anyway, sorry to get long-winded. I tend to do that. :-) I'm looking forward to getting to know many of you. Cassi

Creepy!! So is this guy now in some type of 10-step recovery program, and he's on the step where you have to go and apologize to the people you have hurt? Why after all this time must he confess? Will you continue to talk to him? I know a guy named Anthony...

My BMI was over 60 at my highest, down almost 75 lbs now (half before surgery, half afterwards) and I am about 10 weeks out. The mantras on here about Water, Protein and exercise are true for me thus far! Thanks for this topic, it is encouraging and inspiring to hear about others' experiences.

Catherine, You have to consider the source. First, she's 26 years old. Maybe she doesn't have much life or worldly experience. We were all pretty narrow minded in our own way at that age. More importantly, she was banded less than 10 days ago. For her to believe that this band is anything other than a simple tool is because of her lack of experience. I hope the original poster will re-read this thread in say----OH, another hundred pounds---and see how she feels about the weight loss not being due to hard work and nutritional changes. I've had my band for 16 months. I assure you that if my overweight friends restricted their caloric intake to merely 800-1000 calories a day AND exercised for over an hour a day at the intensity I do, they, too, could lose a hundred pounds. The band is not the reason I've lost the weight.....it was simply a tool that enabled me to stop compulsive behaviors and focus properly on what needed to be done. You can't be offended by what someone says when she comes ill equipped to judge....

I am about 10 months out and there are times I can eat more than others. For example, the other day I ate 3/4ths of a slice of pizza where before I could only eat about half of a regular slice (if that). I'm at goal so it don't matter much. I have finally found balance. I should post plate before and afters since I'm coming up on my 1 year soon.

I'm pretty close in Denton. I had my surgery on June 10 and my hubby had his 4 yrs ago. I've never used myfitnesspal but will check it out.

Im Oct 13th for the sleeve and i have a half sister who had bypass at least 10-11yrs ago. She says no regrets the only thing she says is that your stomach is small but your mind still can't process the new small stomach. She did say that most people stick to vitamins and are compliant for about 3 years and if you don't get monitored or get regular bloodwork that is when complications happen not because of the procedure but because of neglect. So key thing is not falling into old habits.

At 19 months out I eat 1200 calories and around 100 grams of carbs Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

On 01-23-19 had gastric bypass.