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My surgery is in 6 days (10/31), so last night I began writing a "Letter to Me" as suggested by my doctor. (Obviously, the purpose is to record the reasons you decided on WLS in case you later have second thoughts or need a bit of motivation to stay on track.) Writing this letter led me to think about my fears and what I kept returning to was my fear of gaining the weight back. I'm not afraid of the surgery, the pain, or even the drastic changes required in lifestyle and eating choices. I'm not even afraid of not losing weight. I know I'll be successful because I've done it so many times before. What I'm afraid of (we're talking "heart beating out of your chest type fear"), is that I'll gain it all back. (This is certainly exacerbated by the fact that I'm self-pay and having the surgery in the US.) I'm guessing that I speak for most everyone in their 50's when I say that we've spent much of the past 40 years on one diet or another. And I'm guessing that most of us have had tremendous successes. Those successes are fabulous until they're followed by the inevitable regain, which of course, is followed by doubts and the self-loathing. I have every intention of following my doctor's orders to a "T", I am optimistic, and frankly excited about this surgery; however, if I'm being truly honest with myself, I'd have to say that in most of my prior weight loss efforts, I had those same feelings. Every single time I was 100% certain that THIS TIME I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL! Those of you that have fought this battle and are winning (I know it will never be truly "won" and the fight will continue the rest of our lives), what made this experience different? Why did this one succeed when the myriad of other attempts failed? What advice do you have for me? I truly welcome your comments and advice. Many thanks,

Hey everyone, I found your letter very touching as well as all the comments. My biggest fear and I am pre op is, that I might look 10 years older after all the weight is off and that my husband no longer finds me attractive. I would have to say that I am a little afraid of complications and also if I will still be able to enjoy life without my long and close friend "food". I have also not told my friends or children about the surgery because I don't want anyone to try and stop me from doing it. The alternative to the surgery doesn't sound appealing to me either, since I don't want to be fat for the rest of my life however long that may be. I feel older than I am because of all this weight and I just want to be able to break out of this shell I have hidden in far too long. I will be following you guys here because I may need a lot of encouragement as I am getting closer to surgery date. Susanne

I knew my husband was having a hard time with my choice for WLS, in the past when we discussed my having wls he'd be less than enthusiastic and downplay it, basically saying I was all talk and wouldn't do it. But he seemed to come around and was supportive, we had some heated conversations, mostly since he thought I'd leave him once I lost my.weight, which I have no desire to, before I love him, yes he is a big guy but I've always been attracted to men like that. I told him, I love him and only him and would never leave him, he seemed to come around and be ok and we'd be ok again. Towards the end of my requirements and pending approval of my surgery it was harder on him I could tell but he was still supportive, we talked about vacations we'd take, more family pictures, renewing our vows and having a baby of our own Adobe muy weight and PCOS made it hard to conceive, and all the things I was afraid to do because of my weight, I was happy and excited about our new life together But I didn't talk about my Surgery or fears, because I knew his fears were bad too. So my Surgery was August 19, and in the hospital and home he has been pretty good about getting with the kids, but I handle myself and do most things for myself, but getting out of our new bed which is lower to the ground is challenging at times. But the last few days he's been distant, and suddenly last night before bed, he just says he is leaving, because he doesn't want to be left and that he knows I'll leave once I've lost my weight. He then got out of bed and went outside to smoke. I was shocked and devastated, I love him, been in love with him for 8 years, we were just about to file the paperwork for him to formally adopt my children from a previous marriage, and now he says he is leaving since he can't handle being left. My children are involved, they love him deeply and that's their dad and that's my husband, I can't believe I'm not even 2 weeks out and get this dropped on me. He had been asleep all day so I haven't been able to talk to him, I want to go to therapy to try and reassure him and work.through this, I don't want to lose my marriage because he has fears of something I'll never do, or because he's heard other people did that to their spouses once they lost their weight. That's them, not me. I think his so called friends have been telling him this bs and to expect the worst. It's crazy how can people try to destroy a family and put more fear and doubt in a man at a time like this. My husband does have a history of depression, PTSD and bi polor disorder but it's been managed, but I do think he stopped his meds because he wouldn't do this to me otherwise. If I can't get him to see reason or go to therapy there isn't anything I can do. I'm lost and hurt.

I stopped losing at about 2 1/2 weeks, (sleeved 10/09/15) but I started back. Stay off of the scale and watch how your clothes fit. You may not be losing pounds at the moment, but you can be losing the inches. I have lost 50 pounds so far

Everything I've read warns against grazing, so here's my question--with all these scheduled fluids (I'm day 10 post-op), I feel like that's all I do is graze, albeit on Fluid not food. Is that normal? Am I doing this right? Because I'm either drinking Water, a Protein drink, or broth, what feels like constantly. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I got sleeved in oct and im still struggling. Everything still makes me sick and either heartburn so bad, i just dont drink anything at the time except Water. Ive had to have surgery last month because of a blockage and i couldnt have a bowel movement. Had sleeve 10/4 and i went a month without 1. Woke up and thought i was having a baby. Pain was so bad. Went to er and they did xrays and thats when they saw that i was enpacked. The tech just looked and asked when was the last time i went. I said the night before surgery....lol. they called someone from gastro and they saw the blockage so they ended up going back in. I dont feel any better and i still have to take something everyday just to go maybe once a week. So thats why i dont wanna eat and im losing weight in the worst way. I just dont feel healthy. But it wasnt because of the sleeve. Its my system. Always been slow at digesting anything and i thought this surgery would help that situation, but it has only actually made it worst. Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

Hi there... I just found out yesterday that I am 6 weeks pregnant. Not planned and still adjusting to the news... Does anyone know of a good prenatal vitamin/chewable one? I have been nauseau's for about 10 days and am having trouble keeping anything down. I go to see my OB tomorrow and my surgeon on Friday... but in the meantime I need a plan for a Vitamin. I am still taking my regular chewable Multivitamin... but if ya'll have any suggestions I could use them. Thanks so much!! "T"

my instructions are a little different. I have Clear liquids for day 1 and day 2 after surgery. Day 3-6, I have full liquids which include yogurt (no seeds or fruit) and strained tomato or vegetable juice and cream of wheat or oatmeal or grits. Then pureed diet for one week nd then soft diet for two weeks, then start working in solid foods. I also was told to go on all liquids for 10-14 days before surgery, which was really bad for the first couple of days, but then I seemed to be getting used to it. I miss meat more than anything. The first night I started my liquids, I dreamed about steak, fried chicken and ham all in the same night! After that, it did get easier. I think the liquids beforehand will make the liquids afterwards easier.

Hi bparris! I can't emphasize enough how important it is for you to follow your own doctor's instructions. Most of us who participate in this forum are not medical professionals nor should we act like we are--so always take our advice with a huge grain of salt. All we can do is share the knowledge our doctors shared with us (for what that is worth) and our own experiences since being banded. It is extremely irresponsible for anyone to actively encourage a fellow bandster to deviate from their prescribed medical program IMHO. If it helps you at all, here is a direct quote from my doctor's pre-op education packet (writing in all caps reflects all caps statements written in the packet--it's not me "yelling" or anything): At Home After Discharge from Hospital: Continue liquid diet until seen in the office at 10-14 days. DO NOT CHEAT! HYDRATION IS PRIORITY!! YOU MUST STAY ON YOUR LIQUID DIET UNTIL YOU SEE YOUR DOCTOR! YOUR INTERNAL SURGICAL AREAS MUST BE ALLOWED TO HEAL. DO NOT LET THE EATING DISORDER OVERRIDE YOUR EDUCATION. FAILURE TO FOLLOW THE PRESCRIBED DIET PROGRESSION STAGES COULD BE LIFE THREATENING! If you are truly committed to changing your lifestyle and reaching a healthy weight, make every effort possible to stick with the eating plan progression that was prescribed for you. The doctor did not prescribe it because he/she had nothing better to do that day. It is based on current research and on what has been the most successful for his/her patients over the period of time this surgeon has been performing lapband surgeries. If you follow the directions you were given, you are more likely to be a raging success and the weight will start falling off of you! As you progress into mushies at the appropriate time, try to focus on eating healthy foods starting with lean Proteins (not junk food like fatty cheeseburgers) and then soft vegetables (my Dr. suggests green veggies and wants carbs consumed last only if there's room left). It's time to start shifting your mindset. Remember that the biggest battle in our war against fat is conquering the poor eating habits we have developed over the years. If I'm getting somewhere, anyone can! Stick to your program--you CAN do this!

And I believe you can get to any weight you want. Just follow your plan. Like I said above, my personal goal started at 185. That seemed IMPOSSIBLE at first. Like you, I would have been happier had I lost even less that that. My thought was anything under 225 would be great. I'm at 165 and still losing. Albeit not nearly as fast, but I am still losing 2 lbs a week. I feel I could get to the 150s even 140s if I wanted to. The surgery is an amazingly effective tool. How tall are you? HW 385 SW 359 Sleeved 10/5/16 5'8"

Yes, 10 lbs a month is typical of a sleevers honeymoon year. Yes, the first month or two should be more, but you're body is still traumatized. Check back after one month. Get your 70 grams of Protein, 64 ounces of Water, and walk 45 minutes a day, and before you know it, they'll be calling you skinny!

I'm a little over 13 months post op, down 117 pounds and within 10 of my goal. I eat pretty normally just much smaller portions. I can eat whatever I want but I do avoid foods high in simple carbs. I still will have a treat when I want one, though usually just a bite or two. The only thing I can no longer stomach is eggs.

hey sheila.. i'm an ob/gyn and when i tell my friends and family i want to have bariatric surgery most people say the same thing "you're not big enough" "just eat right and exercise". regarding the tubal at the same time of surgery, it is possible but you may end up with more incisions since the sleeve ports are in the upper abdomen. i went to the surgeon and my bmi is 40. i have bc/bs and with my insurance i have to lose 10% of my body weight. now i'm afraid that i won't qualify since my bmi will no longer be 40. i have 3 more pounds to lose. has anyone have experience with this? i have no medical problems (and i want to keep it that way).

I went into the OR roughly 6 months ago. The operation and hospitalization itself were not too painful. I got the surgery for free because I live in a country with universal health care. The wait was long, 9 months, but it wasn't too much trouble. The first few weeks were rough and there was some (but not a lot of) vomiting. Then I started eating what the hospital's dietician listed for me - 6 meals a day, one in every 3 hours, give or take. I don't follow her guidings too strictly, but those 60 lbs just came off by themselves. I didn't exercise intensively (once a week or less). I didn't abstain from candy or carbs - I ate less of them, not because I was "on a diet" but because I didn't want more than one slice of bread. It was enough. I'm down 3 sizes and I wear UK size 14 pants now (US size 10, EU size 42). I can shop for clothes on any store and I don't need to go to the plus size section. My face is looking a lot better now. I realize I didn't shed all my excess weight yet, but even if I stay this way for the rest of my life, I'd be very happy. I started making further changes in my life - I'm learning to play an instrument, I date more and really try to be out there instead of hiding. I hope some pre-op readers pass by here and read this. Go do this procedure. Life's too short.

Oh, I did the same thing. I decided I was well enough to refinish a bed 10 days after surgery, which included removing the client's tempurpedic matress. I was so stupid! I was very paranoid after because I was super sore around the port. I took the next 2 days off and just took it easy. Of course, call you doctor if you are worred. That is what they are there for!

It sucks, but it's a short part of the whole in the scheme of things. I was on Clear liquids and Protein shakes for 19 days. I nearly cried when I was allowed to start soft foods. Heaven. You mentioned you are getting "all your liquids". For my surgeon that means 64 oz, but that isn't enough for me to not get headaches and feel crappy. I need more like 100 oz to feel good. So maybe try a little more in liquids (and something salty like broth) and see if that feels better?

I have restriction but it still scares me that I will mess it up. I have lost 35 and my sleeve date was 4/10. I am a slow loser and it worries me. I wish u luck and keep us posted on ur progress.

I was the same way initially. I had my surgery on 07/01 and I cried the first week. I was hungry, shaky, weak and generally did not feel like myself. I can say this I feel great now and wouldn't give it back for anything! Hang in there, it gets better once you start encorporating more substantial food. The clear liquid phase is rough. I know you will feel better in a week or so though. It took me a good 2.5 weeks before I felt even remotely good.

You are fantastic!!!! 19 months out is different from people doing this at 3 to 6 weeks out.... Totally different story. Congrats on your bundle of joy and great mindset.

Everyone is judgemental.So what? It is you and you alone that can walk this walk.Will you lose friends?maybe.Will people treat you differently?For sure...but that is the way of the world and its called the human condition.The faster we learn to deal with that,the better our lives will be. Harsh but my experience.Why do you want surgery is a very important question. If I knew where my LITERALLY LIFE LONG EFFORTS to lose weight would have gotten me (nowhere) I would have done this surgery 10 years ago. Good luck and seeing a therapist is an excellent idea.It helps us to get the answers we so desperately seek and make the conclusions we need to move forward.

Be very careful with naproxen, these have caused me no end of issues and bleeds since I had a sleeve. Doctor's have now said that I can never take them again, so they have put me on 10mg amitriptyline for osteoarthritis it works a treat. All happily moving forward with my recovery. Sent from my HTC 10 using the BariatricPal App

Hot chocolate and a milkshake two days out from band surgery? Your post-surgery diet is a far cry from the one I've been told to follow. Week 1: Breakfast: 1/2 cup diet Gelatin 8-10 oz of unsweetened beverage Lunch: 1/2 cup Crystal light 8-10oz unsweetened beverage Dinner: 1/2 cup broth 8-10oz unsweetened beverage Snack: 1 sugar-free popsicle Perhaps you are trying too much too soon?

I've had peripheral neuropathy (PN) for some 10 years now. Although it started off as fairly mild, in recent years it has progressed to where I have daily pain in my hands and feet and I take a cocktail of medications to deal with the symptoms. I have just begun to consider Lap-Band surgery for myself. My main concern is that it might aggravate my PN rather than alleviate it. I've decided against gastric bypass surgery for that very reason: although it can cure diabetes, a small-but-significant percentage of patients develop PN as a result of malabsorption of B Vitamins. I'm assuming that if it can trigger neuropathy, it may also aggravate existing neuropathy. Has anyone else gone into lap-band surgery with preexisting PN? thanks, Sue

Hello....I understand....I am 18 days post op and have only lost 10 pounds....absolutely NO RESTRICTION AT ALL. I understand it is about healing right now and getting used to the band but I was hoping for a bit more restriction and my first fill isn't until SEPTEMBER 12TH. I am on my eliptical everyday now and doing weight resistance exercises and putting my "will power" to the test....I think God wants me to use this time to learn how to live the banded life....it isn't an easy fix....only a TOOL. Good Luck and if the depression is really starting to settle in...there is nothing better than exercise....releases all those endorphins!!

Hi, I am scheduled to be banded on july 7, 2008. I am very excited, but worried about my kids. I have 3 children under 4 and my husband works 10-12 hour days, 6 days per week. My mom will be with me after surgery to help with my kids but she has a bad back. My doctor says i can not lift them for 4 weeks. My twin boys just turned 2 and are use to me carrying them. Does anyone out there have any advice for me.