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I had a Cardiologist that was a naturally skinny man and everything I complained about was met with "lose weight". The final straw is when he told me I should just stop eating for a few days. I have a much better Cardiologist now that actually talks about my symptoms and test results.

A lot of people who have never struggled with their weight (or people who have only had to lose, like, 20 pounds) want to think of weight as a personal or moral attribute. They want to believe that their ability to control their weight is indicative of their personal superiority, so they feel threatened by the thought of some of us -- whom they view as inferior based solely on weight -- can "cheat" our way into their category. Many people who haven't looked into weight loss surgery also have no idea how hard it is. I think back to the first time I read about gastric bypass and thought it sounded like absolute magic -- the answer to all my problems! You get your stomach stapled and the weight just falls right off. And then I found out about all the risks and potential complications, dumping syndrome, and the fact that some people still regain the weight, and that was enough to turn me off from weight loss surgery for 15+ years. And even then, it wasn't until I actually started the process that I found out about the pre-op diet and all the post-op phases, having to constantly sip water all day just to avoid dehydration and go for weeks without solid food. I'd be willing to bet that most people have no clue how hard it is to get through all the pre-op requirements and post-op phases. Ironically, it's those people who have never had to think about weight loss surgery who really have the easy way out in that they don't have the propensity for weight gain in the first place. They have no idea how hard some of us have to work to lose weight and/or keep it off.

Sharing a blog post I wrote a few years ago that I thought might help some of you... On the face of it, losing weight seems so simple. How many times have we all heard statements like “just eat less and move more!” While that type of sentiment is factually true, it can be incredibly hard in practice. The reason is because we all are creatures of habit. Now when I say habit, I don’t want you to think of the negative connotation we sometimes give to the word habit. Habits can be and often are, good things. An example would be brushing your teeth before bed. If that’s a habit you have (may of us do), it would be hard to classify that as a bad thing. We do it partly because we know we should, but also because it’s just become a habit, and things would feel off if we didn’t do it. In fact, because so much of what we do on a day-to-day basis is routine, habits help us get those things done without having to exert much extra mental energy to them. It follows that if we want weight loss or other healthy behaviors to become habit, we have to “hack” our brains a little. We do that by replacing old behaviors with new behaviors. Over time, the new behavior become a habit that replaces the old behavior we want to get rid of. This again sound simple enough, but because we as humans are wired to seek out rewards, we sometimes do things we know we shouldn’t. This means we can’t just flip a switch and start working out, or ”eating better” (whatever that means). We first have to make sure the reward we get for the current behavior is minimized, and the reward we get for the new behavior is maximized. By doing that, we can slowly change behavior. To make this easier, I have grouped behavior change into six dimensions we need to focus on: We’ll start with the 3 dimensions of motivation. Motivation is often misunderstood, so I want you to think about it a little differently than you may think of it now. Motivation is simply the mental processes that drive your behavior. Thus when someone says “I have no motivation”, that’s actually incorrect. They do have motivation, they just have motivation to do something else. Personal Motivation – These are things that internally motivate you as an individual person to act in a particular way. There are several factors that make up personal motivation, but the most important factor is how a new behavior makes you feel vs. the current behavior. To change behavior, we need to minimize the negatives associated with the new, desired behavior and maximize the positive aspects of it. We also want to do the exact opposite for the bad behavior we want to replace. For a more personal example, I like fishing but am not a big fan of slow cardio (too boring to me). I can turn boring exercise into playing simply by using a row boat or kayak to fish from, rather than a motorized boat. If you have small children, you could play tag or hide and go seek with them, rather than walking on a treadmill. Social Motivation – This form of motivation is all based on the fact that at our core, people are social animals. In short, we crave acceptance by others. While this can be a negative if taken to the extreme, we can also make it work to our benefit. Examples would be having one or more accountability partners or using social pressure to ensure compliance. Structural Motivation – Also known as the “carrot & stick”. The goal is to find ways to add in additional punishments for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior. For example, many people find that meaningful financial rewards or punishments can drastically impact behavior. An example might be “placing a bet” with a family member that you will not eat any highly processed foods for the next month. If you succeed, you get the payout, but if you fail, you have to pay instead. Obviously the carrots & sticks don’t have to be financial at all, but for many people money is a big motivator. We move now from Motivation to Ability. I want you to think of ability as how prepared you are to replace bad behaviors with good ones. It does us no good to be super motivated to take on a new good habit if we don’t have the knowledge, skills, or ability to actually incorporate the that habit into our lives. Personal Ability – This is all about learning and developing the skills, tools & knowledge you’ll need to actively engage in the new behavior. For example, if my goal was to use horseback riding as exercise, I’d have to get a horse, find a place to board the horse, learn to ride, learn to care for the horse, etc. before that could become a reality. This is obviously an extreme case, but too many times we expect that simply having motivation will be sufficient to reach a goal. The fact is it’s not. No matter what the goal is, there is some level of knowledge or skill needed to make it happen. A more concrete example might be “wanting to eat more vegetables”. For many people, this is a challenge not because they don’t like vegetables, but because they have no idea how to prepare them. Learning to do so would be the TRUE first step to a better diet. Social Ability – Teamwork is the operative word here. Perhaps you really struggle to walk enough on a daily basis, but you also know if you have someone to walk with you, it would make it much more enjoyable for you. This can also refer to using a coach or expert to help. If you know you need to use strength training to reach your goals, but don’t have any idea where to start. Enlisting the help of a professional might be just the thing you need. Structural Ability – I like to think of this one as cheating to your advantage! So many times, we create environments where we’re almost bound to fail. Examples are things like keeping a bag of chocolate or saving your “fat clothes” just in case. Another classic example would be failing to plan meals ahead of time. Instead, we need to change everything we can about our environment to support us making good choices and eliminating anything that causes us to stumble. Taken together, these six sources of habit change can help you replace bad habits with good ones, but it’s not magic. You still have to work at it and you still have to make yourself more aware of when and why you are choosing bad habits over good ones. This awareness is really the first step to success.

Hello all! My name is Anne. I hope I'm in the right forum for this. I'm brand new here so please redirect me if necessary. I'm hoping for an accountability buddy, someone roughly a few years post op hopefully like myself, someone who needs some cheering on for keeping healthy eating habits... I had gastric roux en y back in 2019, lost 141lbs and 3 years out I've successfully kept it off - woo hoo! However, I have one BIG problem...for roughly a year now my diet has been AWFUL. I mean really bad. Lots of junk, lots of carbs, not remotely getting enough protein, you could say I've just gone off the rails. This coincides with one of the roughest times in my life with massive life challenges one after the other knocking me down, big ones, and just like life pre-surgery, I self medicate with junk food. Which is what landed me on that operating table in the first place. Believe me, I know how wrong this is. I know that the weight thing is a mind thing, that I should have self-soothing behaviors that are NOT food related. I know. But I'm 52 years old now and old (as in decades long) soothing behaviors seem to just be ingrained. I'm tired of making excuses for myself however. It's time for me to change that. It does not matter what life challenges I'm dealing with. It can only bring me harm to eat as awfully as I do. It's a miracle I haven't gained any weight back eating the way I do, and for that much I'm grateful. But nevertheless, it's downright wrong for me to treat my body so shabbily by eating this way. I just never feel good anymore, it's taking a toll, I have no energy, and it's my own doing. So I'm ready to turn this ship around. Is there anyone here who can relate to this? Anyone sliding into unhealthy eating habits? I'm hoping to connect with someone who could use an accountability buddy so to speak, so we can inspire each other to honor our bodies by treating it right by eating healthy and the way we were taught to eat following surgery. If anyone is interested, I'm assuming there's a private message feature here (again, I'm brand new, trying to navigate how all this works), shoot me a message. Regardless, best wishes to all who are in this journey together, no matter where you are on your road!

If you're on a PC, click on your name at the top, then "My Surgery": Then: Progress: Then change your weight: Then click save:

I am so sorry. I am in the same boat. We have been married for 12 years. We grew distant over the years as I put on weight. We have grown more apart after WLS. I too suggested counseling and his response was "I am fine and don't need to see a therapist". I have been seeing a counselor for the past 9 months. I have made progress but don't know how to proceed as I don't want to lose custody of the kids despite me being the primary caregiver / guardian (The legal system in my country grants custody to the father unless he forfeits). I am with him just for the kids. I feel stuck.

I love looking at your weights and measurements every month. Wish I had done the same. Congratulations

Thank you all for sharing. Reading the comments has been more helpful. I lost a lot of weight on my face particularly mid face volume. I am not near my target goal yet but I was looking tired and haggard. I got botox and dermal fillers recently and it made such a difference. It's subtle and I am very happy with the results. My injector was mindful to inject in a way that he could build on gradually. I have not had dermal fillers or botox before.

Based on that, and a starting weight of 345, that means your lean mass (muscles, organs, bones, etc.), is 172. While you will lose some of that lean mass as well as fat post surgery, I hope you can see why 125 is just too low. If we pick a healthy percentage of body fat of 27%, and use a proprietary calculator I developed that assumes a certain percentage loss of lean mass into account, that would put you somewhere between 185 and 220. I know that's a lot higher than what you were thinking, but I feel that's a better goal for now. Like I said, once you get to 220 (or 200 if you want to split the middle), you can always adjust downward if you're not happy with how you feel.

Oh thank you for this information! My current body fat according to my scale is about 50%. And you are right that is probably very unattainable. I have never been that low in my life. Except maybe when I was in THIRD GRADE. ha. If you could help me choose a new goal, that would be awesome. Thank you! I did quit soda a few weeks ago. Now I need to quit milk. That is like so hard for me for some reason. I drink up to 4 16 oz glasses a day. Not everyday. Some days is 1-2. But I know a lot of my weight comes from liquid calories. I am going to work hard on that this month. I am going to start my preop diet tomorrow of two shakes and 1 meal. Lots of koolaid with splenda to get me through lol

I think it's a great idea. Were I you, I'd focus on cleaning up my diet, e.g. start eliminating the junk and focus on eating more lean protein and vegetables. Even low carb junk is still junk, so it's best to avoid it. I can understand the desire to be lower than your spouse, but I honestly think 125 is way too low for you. Obese people have enlarged hearts and livers, denser, heavier bones, and increased blood supplies to carry blood to all that fat. As a result, you can't use "averages" based on height (such as BMI) as a guide. The best bet would be to use your percentage of body fat and pick a health body fat from something like this: My best guess would be that somewhere between 150 and 175 would probably put you in the right range. If you know you actual percentage of body fat now, I can calculate a better number for you. Remember too that if you get to a higher weight, you can always set a new lower goal if you don't like the way you look and feel at that weight. On the other hand, if you set a goal that's too low, you'll just get frustrated trying to reach an unattainable goal.

Hi guys. This is only my second post in the community at all. My surgery is September 29th. My preop diet is not just liquids. Infact I can eat but it has to be under 30 carbs a day. My plan is to drink protein shakes for breakfast and lunch and eat low carb dinner. I want to make sure my liver shrinks and I lose weight in the process. I know it'll be hard. However, I am thinking about starting this diet tomorrow to give me time to practice and mess up before I have to officially start and not mess up. Plus I am just gaining more weight by not dieting right now. I want to practice my new life style while I have a chance to mess up basically. What do yall think of this? If so, I am going to start tomorrow. A little about me I am 5' 6". HW 387 CW 345 SW ? GW 125? I don't know how to choose a good goal weight lol. I just want to be smaller than my husband who is 135. Maybe ill just see what looks good on me. However I do want to lose 200 pounds at least. I am nervous about failing again. I had the lapband when I was 19 and it never worked for me. I quickly learned to eat around it. However I was in an abusive relationship at the time and attempted suicide at the time. I was not ready for it. I am in a much better place now and I am ready for real change. I am just nervous it wont work for me. I have binge eating disorder and what if that doesn't go away? WIll I still have food on my mind 24/7? I just want to be able to say no to food. i only can now because of my vyvanse. Ugh. Im just rambling. I am sorry. Will this forum stay open after we have our surgeries or will it move to a different forum? Idk. I am just ready to have this surgery. Time until September 29th is moving so slow.

This reminded me, something so critical for me through the years, and that is tracking calories, macros, weight. Oh how I wish I was a mindful eater but unfortunately, I am not. I simply have never trusted myself and to keep the weight off, I absolutely have to log everything. It helps me keep track of my 7-13 fruit/vegetable servings that I need daily, as well as my protein. On those bottomless hungry days, I like to look at what I ate because it helps me determine my physical vs head hunger too.

I'm two years post-op, and my appetite has returned, but not nearly to the extent as before surgery. In the beginning, it was easy to lose weight because I wasn't hungry at all and physically couldn't eat much, but that has gradually changed. It feels upsetting at times to see the portions that I am able to eat because I think, "I shouldn't have room for this big of a salad," but I think my perception is skewed because I'm comparing my current portions to my initial post-op portions, not to what I used to eat pre-surgery. I remember pre-surgery often feeling like my stomach was a bottomless pit, and no matter how much I ate, I could still feel like I was starving. There are times now when I eat a reasonably-sized meal and still feel hungry, but even then, it doesn't take much to get all the way full. I'm probably doing it wrong because we're not supposed to eat to the point of getting really full, but I'm not perfect. And sometimes it's still hard to tell whether it's real hunger or head hunger. I can definitely see how people can regain a lot of weight after a few years, because I feel as though my stomach has stretched out quite a bit and I could over-eat if I'm not careful about what I eat. However, I have COMPLETLEY changed my eating habits and shifted toward low-calorie foods. I've been tracking everything I eat in MyFitnessPal for over two years, and I consider that the #1 key to my weight loss, other than surgery itself (in fact, I lost 70 pounds before surgery this way). I'm not stupid -- I know how to read a nutrition label -- but there's something about actually logging my food intake that makes me confront my choices and think about what is and isn't worth eating. I still track my calories in MyFitnessPal and I'm afraid to stop, but I suspect that I would probably be ok without tracking because I've gotten into good habits. I've also found that at times I've eaten more than I should (e.g., eating at a restaurant or getting hungry between meals and having a big snack) and think, "I need to limit my calories for the rest of the day," I actually end up not being hungry for the rest of the day, anyway. My tastes have also changed since surgery. I used to be kind of a picky eater, and I'm not sure if my actual tastes have changed or if I've just become more open-minded, but I eat all kinds of things now that I wouldn't have touched before surgery. I used to hate seafood and now I love it and eat fish almost every day. I used to hate a lot of vegetables, like squash, peppers, radishes, cauliflower, etc., and now I'll eat just about any vegetable. I consider cauliflower rice to be the greatest diet hack of all time because it simultaneously eliminates a high-carb food and sneaks a vegetable into the meal. Plus, if you buy the frozen stuff, it's faster and easier to prepare than actual rice. Before surgery, I turned my nose up at the idea of cauliflower rice, but now I eat it several times per week. I suspect that a lot of people who regain the weight rely too much on the restriction and don't change their eating habits, so when the restriction wears off, they're kind of back where they started.

That's so wonderful!! I catch myself even now worrying about weight limits on things even though I have no reason to worry anymore! It's so much fun being able to do things like this with your kids! Sent from my Pixel 5a using BariatricPal mobile app

So I have a few things to update on. I haven't been super active lately because things have been crazy. First, I finally got rid of my size 26/28 clothes!!! I had them bagged up for a good week and a half and I finally pulled the trigger and got rid of them. All of my work clothes, shoes, and size 10 jewelry was donated to Dress for Success. My casual clothes and pajamas were donated equally between a local homeless shelter and a local domestic violence shelter. I'm currently in size 22/24 clothes, but they're starting to get big on me (I'm in like a size 21 lol But there isn't a size 21, so...) Once I make it to a size 18/20, I'll do it all over again. Second, I'm in another stall. I have been for the last 8 days or so. I know because it's following the same pattern as the last 2 I had. I gain 3 pounds and then sit there for weeks, then drop like 5 pounds when it breaks (first stall lasted about a week and a half. Second one lasted 2 1/2 weeks. I figure I might be looking at 3 1/2 or 4 weeks now). I'm used to it now so I'm not freaking out. BUT, my size 9 rings are too big. I need size 8 1/2 and like I said, the size 22/24 clothes are starting to be too big. So even though the scale isn't moving, I'm still winning!!! Third, I FINALLY got my appointment for the scope. The GI cocktail has helped me be able to eat some food, but I still have to be careful. I'm now on 80mg of Nexium daily and I take the GI cocktail 10-15 minutes before eating anything. I can actually sleep in my bed again, so that's good. Looking forward to this scope to get to the bottom of everything once and for all. Fourth, been working my tail off finishing my last 2 classes for my degree!!! I'm a little over half way finished, and it's been exciting. I've been working on this degree for the last 11 years, so to finally be at the finish line is amazing. I had been putting it off and as my health and weight started getting better, I just became super motivated to finish and finally have my degree. My graduation is in December, and I FULLY intend to be below 300 when I go. That's my new goal. I have 3 months. I think I can do it. I'm at 322 right now (remember I gained 3 pounds before just sitting at this weight?) so if I can lose 23 pounds in 3 months, I'll hit multiple goals at once. So excited!!!!! Well, that's about it for now. Hope everyone is enjoying their 3 days weekend. My daughter's birthday is Tuesday, and we're letting her miss school and we're taking her out to lunch and then to do a little shopping (she's turning 16). Have a good one

Ok, I hear you all. And I get it I think. The surgery is a tool to help you get to a point where your mind, willpower and new habits have to take over. Some of you seem to be saying that years down the road there is little difference, except for starting point and maybe some restriction, between having had surgery and just following a good healthy diet for weight maintenance. I will try to follow a maintenance plan now and not graze. I suppose its good to know that I will always need to be diligent. Thank you

I hit my first stall at 6 weeks and my surgeons team had not said anything about them. That's when I discovered this board and I was saved! I didn't lose or gain for 2 weeks. It was frustrating but when I started losing again it was with a vengeance. Like the others have said stay on the plan, keep eating like you should and once your body works things out, you'll be back to losing weight. Deeeeep breaths this is all a part of the process. You are NOT messing up. Sent from my SM-F926U using BariatricPal mobile app

What led me to weight loss surgery isn't what led most people here. I didn't (don't) have food addictions, etc. I had medically induced obesity due to auto immune disease and long term corticosteroid use. So, I got a Lap Band in 2013, and lost about one hundred and forty pounds. I never got to a "normal" weight. It's like I reached a new set point and stopped losing. I pretty much maintained that for about five years or so and then I developed GERD. As @Tomo said, the GERD associated with Lap Bands/Sleeves doesn't respond to meds and there's always a gnawing, hungry sort of sensation that makes you feel like you always need something in your stomach to stop the torment going on in there, and that led me to eating slider foods, because they felt the best to my GERD tormented stomach. So I regained maybe ten pounds during my GERD period. Then in 2021 I had the band removed, then I lost the ten pounds that I had gained, because the GERD eased up a bit and I was able to eat healthier fruits and veggies that my Band wouldn't tolerate before and kicked the carbs to the curb. I'm currently almost 7 weeks post op RNY revision and I've lost twenty-nine pounds. So the scale is finally moving after years of being stuck. I feel like I didn't regain weight even after my band was removed due to a change in eating habits and behaviors that I adopted when I got my Lap Band. I maintained those, and yes it was easier after my Band was removed because I could eat healthier again. My Band wouldn't tolerate fibrous, healthy veggies most of the time. So I would say maintaining success in the long term relies on a change of behaviors and eating habits. One other thing that I think helps a lot of people maintain success is lifetime tracking of calories/macros.

Its the 4th of the month. Which means its time to do my monthly weigh in and measurements. High weight of 317lb. Surgery date April 18th 2022 I have to go buy new clothes again. The clothes i bought last month for work no longer fit and the belt i have put in roughly 7 extra holes in it. Time to replace it lol.

Yes, your body adapts to the changes made by surgery, and it will still want to gain weight, as it does now, but it is harder and slower to do so. This means that you have to adapt to to counter that tendency - the surgery will indeed help you to lose the weight that you can't lose now by yourself, but you still need to work at keeping it off. This guy gives a pretty good presentation of how it progresses, and some ideas on how to live with those changes to help maintain things. You don't have to follow all of his recommendations, (I'm not so sure about his green smoothie thing....) but it helps to understand what is happening so that you can develop your own plan that makes sense for you. My takeaway from him is that you will see increased ability to eat more at a meal, though not as much as pre op - his progression is consistent with my experience, though my wife maintains a greater restriction than I do, YMMV - is to fill in that increased ability/desire to eat more with bulky, low calorie veg to minimize and control the caloric increase over time. The salads that I make now for lunch have about the same amount of protein - meat and cheese - that they did early on, but a lot more veg than earlier. Our protein needs doesn't increase over time - our "high protein" post op diet isn't really all that high, but rather a maintenance level of protein while everything else is dramatically reduced at that time. I found that it really helps to work on your long term maintenance diet as early as possible - long before surgery if you can - to get used to how you should eat 5-10 years from now rather than just next month or next year. Learn how you should be eating for good weight maintenance (and satiety) and start developing those habits early - don't worry about rapid pre op weight loss, let the surgery do that. If you are seriously concerned about your long term prospects on weight maintenance - if you have had a long history of yo yo dieting, and/or are starting at a very high BMI, you should also consider the DS, duodenal switch, surgery as that has demonstrably better regain resistance than the RNY or VSG, which are very similar in that regard. There are more trade offs involved - what in life doesn't have them - but it is worth considering ahead of time rather than as a revision later on, as the bypass is a difficult thing to revise.

if you're on a liquid diet, that gain wasn't a real gain. Probably water retention from the IV.

hunger/appetite usually come back sometime during the first year after surgery (and a minority of patients never lose it at all). After that, things get more challenging. It's hard work - but it does "work" as long as you're committed and stick with your program. during year 3, most people experience a 10-20 lb regain as your body settles in to its new set point. Of course, some people can gain much more than that if they aren't careful. basically, the surgery keeps you from eating a lot AT ONE SITTING. I'm over seven years out, and I can't eat nearly as much at one sitting as I could prior to surgery. As an example, before surgery, I could easily eat half a large pizza. Now, I can physically only eat 1-2 pieces. Again, at one sitting. the major problem is grazing. If I eat 1-2 pieces of pizza at 6:00 pm, and another piece at 7:30 pm. and another piece or two at 10:00 pm - ta da! I've eaten half a large pizza. So you really have to watch that if you want to maintain your loss. like others have said, though, it gives you a huge reset. I lost over 200 lbs, which I could have never done on my own. But after that loss, it's on you.

The surgery is in no way a magic cure. It’s only a tool to help. You can buy all the tools you want though, and some fancy drill may make it easier than a hammer, but your deck is still not going to get built without you doing some of the actual work. I think of the surgery more as a clean slate. Yes, the hunger does come back and no you will not be able to eat exactly like you did and keep the weight off. BUT, you will get this one time fresh start where you really do lose if you follow the plan and if you resolve to continue making those healthy choices most of the time you should be able to maintain it. I’m not gonna lie and say it’s easy cause it’s not. I have to ask myself probably once a day do I really need this or do I just want it. But it’s totally worth it to be able to feel good in my own skin.