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I used my 401k to pay for my surgery. You can do it as a loan or a withdrawal for medical expenses. It will offset if you claim the medical cost on ur taxes bc u will be taxed if u do it as a withdrawal.

I'm still in the process of losing but I'm about halfway to my ultimate goal weight I feel great! My body is adjusting to the thinner me as I tend to catch myself slouching a bit sometimes or sitting way back from a table bc of my pre-existing belly hehe I'm waking up feeling good about myself! I'm working my way to going to clothing stores even though I really don't want to lol I am energized in a different way and it feels amazing! I also gained back some of my spunk! I'm a pretty nice and friendly person. My inside personality is finally matching what my outside appearance should have always been. If anything I'm getting noticed by guys and it feels kind of nice. But I have the foggest idea on what I'm doing..I never really had this kind of attention before so I'm kind of awkward and shy when guys compliment me lol But hey in the end of the day I look at myself in the mirror and always say "you are looking great, you are amazing! You've made it this far and you'll keep going. You got this. I love you!" *I've had low self-esteem all my life* SW: 225 CW: 181 GW1: 160 Ultimate GW:130 . I can't wait for this feeling.... Do you have any pictures... I would love to see your before and afterHey girl I'm sorry I've been working nonstop I'll send you a before and after pic tomorrow, I'll be off after 6 eastern time! . Thanks girl ????

Prince George, BC! Where are you?

I'm still in the process of losing but I'm about halfway to my ultimate goal weight I feel great! My body is adjusting to the thinner me as I tend to catch myself slouching a bit sometimes or sitting way back from a table bc of my pre-existing belly hehe I'm waking up feeling good about myself! I'm working my way to going to clothing stores even though I really don't want to lol I am energized in a different way and it feels amazing! I also gained back some of my spunk! I'm a pretty nice and friendly person. My inside personality is finally matching what my outside appearance should have always been. If anything I'm getting noticed by guys and it feels kind of nice. But I have the foggest idea on what I'm doing..I never really had this kind of attention before so I'm kind of awkward and shy when guys compliment me lol But hey in the end of the day I look at myself in the mirror and always say "you are looking great, you are amazing! You've made it this far and you'll keep going. You got this. I love you!" *I've had low self-esteem all my life* SW: 225 CW: 181 GW1: 160 Ultimate GW:130 . I can't wait for this feeling.... Do you have any pictures... I would love to see your before and after

Gwen Nice to have you back. And good you for keeping the running up. I'm so hot and cold with it. I'm cold with it right now. I know it will get me to my goal sooner, I just don't have joy for it. Maybe later. And to answer that's my undergrad. I'm still plugging away on the MBA. I'm in an integrated, BS-MBA program. I'll be done with classes at the end of March. I graduate in May. Your schooling sounds intense. WOW. I can't wait to be done! Homework is calling. J

After 4 quick months surgery is scheduled for 2/8/18 at NYU. I’m still uncertain if I’m approved bc all my surgical coordinator said was “you’re good to go” [emoji848][emoji31] lol But anywho! On day 3 of the liquid diet. Any other February peeps?

So I'm thinking about giving up on my insurance fight and just switching to self-pay. I had a slipped band over a year ago. It took 6 months to get the insurance company (Fed BCBS) to finally agree to remove the band but they denied a revision to VSG stating it wasn't medically necessary because my BMI was under 35. I submitted an appeal to the Federal Office of Personnel Management in October for what was supposed to be a 60 day appeal. They "lost" my case and had to start over. Then they closed it because they didn't understand I was asking for a revision and not some sort of random partial gastrectomy. They finally sent it out for review but it sounds like they didn't select a bariatric surgeon because the answer last week came back that it isn't medically necessary because my weight isn't over a 40 BMI. The told my attorney to wait for the report and then call and talk to the nurse but I haven't heard back yet. At this point it's been almost 7 months since I submitted the appeal. This has been going on for so long I'm almost back to my original weight. If I had it to do over again I'd have done a self-pay revision with Dr. Aceves right from the start. Heck, I'd be at my goal weight by now. I just don't have it in me to keep this up. I went ahead and requested a surgery date with Dr. Aceves and put first-class airline tickets on hold on my miles. I can't think what hoops the insurance company would have next. They just don't get that the standard of care for a revision doesn't require you to regain all your weight first. I could go forward with the surgery and then sue them after the fact but I'm not sure it's worth the mental energy after all this. I had some old Microsoft stock lying around and it's almost enough for the surgery. I'm thinking that I'll never miss the money and can just get on with my life. I don't want to self-pay up here because it's really expensive and they don't cover complications like Dr. Aceves does. I could be down there next weekend having this done and just moving on. Thoughts? I could use some additional input... Thanks! Britt

Anyone have any advice? I'm afraid I won't go through with it bc of how scared I am of surgery! What if I die during surgery, what if there are complications, etc. I'm so scared but at the same time I want this so bad! Any advice?

Thanks guys! I'm checking with my nurse on both of these things before I use them bc my dr seems really conservative but I hope to start using both soon.

I have Anthem Bc/Bs of Connecticut and was approved too. My BMI was also 37 with borderline Diabetes and High blood pressure. My PCP wrote a letter saying he thought it was a good idea. I got approved within a week!

Hey Cheri, Thank you so much for the reply. I've seen that there are quite a few people here who have been able to lose big with the band, which is very inspirational. I'm so glad to hear that the band has been working for you! I've been invited to attend a local lap band meeting group, which unfortunetly this month I couldn't make, but I'm for sure going next. I've talked to a few people on here, but I think perhaps in person it'll be a more profound things to hear and see. In the felsh so to speak. The next step I suppose, is to find people who've had gastric and talk to them about it. In BC where I'm from, MSP doesn't cover lap band surgery, but they do cover gastric by-pass and gastric sleeve. It certainly would be easier just to say, forget the lapband, I can't afford that.. but I dont want to make this choice just based on the money, it's my future right! Need to make the right choice for me. I think it's silly they cover the other surgeries and not this one. THanks again for the message!

Back when my kids were growing up, I took in a lot of strays....stray kids, stray dogs, stray cats. A few lived with us (a few kids....LOTS of dogs and cats) but most of them I just fed when they were hungry, rescued them when they needed a ride or a loan. I spotted many a ten or twenty til payday. Sometimes I got it back, sometimes not. Yesterday one of my stray kids ran into my youngest son. I had not seen him for about 15 years. He got my address and showed up on my doorstep, with flowers! He's married, with kids, and owns his own business. He told me that he has thought of me often and would never forget what I had done for him when he was a teen. He did not have a mom in his life and I was there for him, like a mom, he said. It made me feel great! Anything I invested in this kid, and a dozen others, I got back today - with interest.

The only person I told was my husband and my BFF. Truthfully the only reason I told my BFF is BC she's been through it so I knew she would understand. I simply didn't need ppl greeting into my head. I knew what I wanted to do and didn't want to hear any negativity. This will be forever my secret. I have always been the one to workout and go on these diets, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

It has been awhile since I have posted here. So long, that I almost forgot that I was a member. September 15th will make 5 months since I had my surgery. A lot of things have changed for me. First off, the Protein shakes, had to stop. At first they were easy, and great. Except, I could only drink one kind and only one flavor of that kind. Everything else was making me sick. Of course, two of the same flavor, of the same kind, twice a day, every day, after a few months, also started to make me sick. It got to the point where I was getting sick, thinking about drinking the shakes. My meal also changed. After the healing seemed to complete, I noticed I started eating more often. At first this bothered me, because the idea of eating more often, seemed in my mind to defeat the purpose. Yet, I also noticed that I was eating a lot less.... just more frequently. I also noticed I was drinking a lot more fluids then I had ever done. I also, have not had a drink of soda, since my surgery, which I think probably also helped. I noticed that bread, will not be eaten again. That includes cake, bagels, doughnuts, etc. I have tried almost all of these things, and while it does not make me sick, it hurts. I am not a fan of pain, so I do not try them again. I find that I do not miss any of them. I have noticed that I have a very huge craving for grapes. I now go through grapes, like I used to go through milk. I used to go through a lot of milk (something else I find, I do not miss.) Well, after almost 5 months, and fearing that my eating was going to become a problem, I have lost 92 pounds. I am very close to the goal that my doctor set for me, and I believe I will pass that goal. Some other things that have changed. I am off all of my medications, except for my thyroid. Since I eat more times a day then I used to, I find foods that are high in protein for Snacks, such as tuna. For the first 3 months, I could not eat tuna, but my dietitian told me to keep trying. She said that if I am going to cut out the Protein Shakes, I needed to find other sources, and tuna is a great source. So far, now at 5 months, I find I can eat tuna again. In fact, other then the breads, I have found that I can eat just about anything. My sweet weakness is M&Ms. I usually eat a bag of them a week. Which compared to how I used to eat them.....much much different. I also have a weakness for chocolate chip frappachino from Mcdonalds. I had someone tell me, I should not drink those, but I compare it to what I used to get at Mcdonalds. One meal at Mcdonalds for me used to be, a double quarter pounder, large fries, two mcdoubles, and a milkshake. Now a meal for me at Mcdonalds is the frappachino, and thats it. So I felt guilty at first, but not so much in contrast. That and instead of going like 3 times a week, I go like once a month. I also found out, that I can run. I started running a mile every morning. It was only taking about 7 minutes once I got into it, that I thought that was not enough time. So now, I run for 30 minutes every morning. One day I will try to see how far I am going. I leave my house, and run for 15 minutes, and then turn around and run back. It is amazing, because I would not run before. I used to have a joke at work, that if someone made me chase them, they would get hurt if I caught them for making me run. Now, I have had to chase people, and smile the whole time I am doing it. In my local area, I am signed up for two 5ks.... coming up in October, and another run, called a Mud run in December. That one has an obstacle course, which I think I need some training for. Learned about something called a Zombie run, which I will be doing next year. As far as more personal things, there was a rumor that I was told about.... size. I am talking about the little guy size....downstairs. Anyway, I was told that for every 30 pounds lost, I would gain an inch. I thought that was complete BS, yet, it was extremely pleasing to one day wake up in the morning, and notice that I could see.... everything. In a way that I had never experienced. Then to top it off, my wife, told me some stuff about things that could not be done before, that was being done now. I do not want to go into detail, but that rumor, seems to have a bit of truth behind it. Something I used to be ashamed of, I am now very proud of. My kids have noticed a difference with me as well. I am doing all sorts of activities with them. Went to a Water park with them, and they where shocked that I went on the slides with them. Something I would not even think about doing before. I had an amazing time, and I am sure they will remember it for a long time. Something I do not think I would have been doing before I had the surgery. I also got very luck with loose skin. As, so far, I do not have any, and have been told by the doctor, that I might not have any. He said to make sure, once I lose to the point I feel comfortable, I should start weight training. That building up muscle, would help fill in the skin, that was full of fat. Sounds like a plan to me. Anyway, that is my story so far. If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask me.

Hello I'm 26yrs old and I had the sleeve done on Aug 29, 2017... when I started this journey i weighed 299lbs and now I am 250lbs My surgery went great and I stuck to my diet my Dr told me. I'm to the point where I can eat pureed and soft foods. I get full very quickly but 2 hrs later I'm hungry again. Like my stomach makes the craziest noises and has that empty feeling. I been sticking to high protein and either very little sugar (6g at the most) or none at all if possible. I even been taking my adipex again thinkin it will help. I am to the point where I'm just not losing anything now. I'm very stressed out about it bc I don't want this to be it. I been working hard and seeing that I'm fluctuating between 249 to 252. Is there anything I can do to help lower the numbers again? I do work out and I'm always on my feet at work being that I'm a hairstylist in a busy area. I just don't know if how I'm feeling is normal and if I'm supposed to be eating like this. I can really use a mentor to help me succeed and do the right things. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

I will be using Ajay upadhyay at Alta bates summit medical center in Oakland. I do not know if they take bc or not but he has come highly recommended.

Don't worry, you will forget this post soon :thumbup1: I tend to believe the resolution of the sleep apnea will improve your mental sharpness far more than hunger hormone could affect it. I'm sure there are plenty of well fed scholars that could agree. Also do a search on medical studies on how exercise effects memory. If I can get down to a "running weight" again I may enjoy some of those benefits as well!

You can't really do that in college. At some point, they have to keep up with the class or fail. And I think letting people learn at their own pace earlier in their life is probably contributing to the problem. Yes, it seems like a nice idea, but when do people learn that they can't really succeed at their own pace in the real world? If you tell your boss that you will be getting your work done on your schedule instead of trying to meet his deadline, what do you think he'll do? He'd probably think you were joking and then fire you when he realized you weren't. I noticed the propensity of the school system to "dumb down" the curricula when I was in school. I could literally coast through all of my classes in high school without studying more than 5 minutes before a test and still get As and Bs. Did that help me? Hell no. I had a rude wake-up call in college when I realized that the professors aren't required to make you pass and don't dumb down their curricula to the nth degree. I struggled with my classes and ruined my GPA for the first 3 semesters. I still struggle with studying, even though I should have learned how at this point in my academic career (I'm getting a Master's in biology.) Teachers and school administrators are so afraid to push students and potentially make them feel or look "stupid" that they are making the majority of the students mediocre.

Hey! I was reading through all these different comments. I too have BC/BS of IL. The lady at my doctors office (Lapband doc) said she has never delt with BC/BS of IL. I have done the siminar, and the dietician, and therapy evaluation (they both say IM READY), and a letter from my PCP stating he reccomends this for me and states I have tried multi diets over the past 5 years (under his care) I have Hypothyroidism and have for 12 years, and its under control with meds. I have 2 co-morbidities,and my BMI is 43. What hoops did you have to go through and how soon did you get approved? Hope to hear back... Thanks! GOOD LUCK!!!

With my first fill I could eat just about anything and have NO problems. I just had my 2nd fill a week ago and have now have 5cc in 14cc band. So, yesterday my husband and I wanted to go out to our fav chinese place. I LOVE their crab bake and I thought ooohhh I have been doing SOOO good I want to try it. Plus I though crab and cheeze good protein Anyhow I took 3 bites and got this AWFUL pain in my chest. I though uh oh...I'm about to throw this up....I ran to the bathroom and sure enough up my food came.....it really threw me for a loop bc up until now I havent had that prob. Anyway it scared me enough that I have gone back to soft food......so I guess no crab bake for me. I dont even want to think about trying meat.

Hello I was wondering if anybody knew if BC hospital offers gynecomastia surgery. Thank you!

I just read this great article written by Bruce Underwood(WLS brother) in his website. I will post the link below the article so you can explore. Obesity and its Affects on Relationships and Acceptance Obese individuals have multiple and varying insecurities related to their obesity. These may differ depending on the when obesity became an issue, affected their life most, and length of time. Age, rewarding experiences, negative experiences, and humiliations also play major roles on how each person sees themselves and their self confidence. Parental, sibling, friendship, spousal relationships, and other relationships affect an individual prior to and following weight loss surgery. I have not always been obese and have had lived periods of my life with several different areas of acceptance with varying degrees of confidence. These areas include intellectual acceptance, physical acceptance, sexual acceptance, peer acceptance, acceptance of friends, spousal or mate acceptance, and audience acceptance. Each of these areas is affected by an individual’s self confidence and ability to present himself in a positive way. However, acceptance and experience also affect an individual’s confidence level in each of these areas. The more success and acceptance in a particular area, the more confidence an individual has. However, more rejection reduces self confidence, which further reduces acceptance. This circular syndrome becomes exponential in its effect on an individual. Obesity plays a major role in producing this syndrome as prejudice and stereotyping are projected on obese individuals. Individuals that have been obese all of their lives may have few or no successes in a number of areas of acceptance and may tend to naturally gravitate to other areas where they achieve success and acceptance. The fewer the areas of acceptance the lower the self esteem that a person may have. However, the person who has been obese all of their life, probably does not suffer grief from the loss of acceptance areas as some areas have never been explored. For individuals that become obese later in life, grief from the loss in specific area of acceptance is normal. Having experienced varying levels of success in an area of acceptance, the obese individual may long for those areas and may actually suffer greater depression because of the rejection that they now face in those areas. An example of this may be that of a person who once experienced acceptance in physical beauty and was rewarded highly for their beauty. Now obese, she finds herself longing for the physical and emotional acceptance, but receives rejection. This rejection leads to anger, depression and in cases self loathing. Initially there is denial and then anger. Often diet and exercise only exacerbates the problem as dieting attempts fail. Moments of success followed by diet failures drive down the self esteem and cause greater depression. Friends, peers, relatives, and those who once were flirtatious now look around, through or away and she feels much less the person than she once was. The people around her now become part of the problem as they now become the reminder of what she once was. Additionally, family, friends, and others may add to the problem by acting as the food or diet police with the individual. Often judgmental remarks and comments thought to be helpful actually make the person feel less acceptance and further rejected as an equal or peer. The family member, friend or person making the comment is perceived as being on a different level physically and perhaps intellectually. This perception may be with both parties involved or just by one of the parties; obese or other. The person may react over time in several ways: Things related to beauty may not even be attempted as they are reminders of the pain. Photographs and pictures are avoided as it is easier to live with self image from the past. New photographs are only reminders of the failure and are foreign missals that destroy the image within the mind. In addition, the more positive self image from the past actually helps to promote self confidence in other areas of acceptance such as audience and individual acceptance. The person tends to gravitate to areas that make people like them. These may take the form of humor, knowledge, and expertise. Physical activity becomes more difficult as obesity becomes more profound. Areas that require physical activity and physical fit begin to be avoided. Games, amusement parks, dance, taking car or airplane trips, hiking, theaters, etc. are avoided. The individual may begin to live vicariously through their children, family, friends, and peers. This too may become difficult as these people may resent the now “hanger on”. Surgery and Diet makes a difference – WLS and Diet - Stages of Difference, Awareness and Acceptance: 1) Self Notice – You notice a difference in yourself. As you begin to lose weight, you begin to notice the change. You feel physically different and you notice changes in your face and shoulders. You wonder if and when other people are going to say something. 2) Something’s Different – Others begin to notice a difference, but they are not sure what it is. I like your new hair style. Did you color your hair?. Did you use to have a beard? I thought you wore glasses? A few truly observant folks may say... You’ve lost weight... haven’t you? Usually still as a question. 3) Physical Change - Your clothes are baggy and you need a wardrobe change. You feel better and look better. A lot of people realize you are losing weight and say you look great. You and your friends are proud of the results. 4) Significant Difference - There is a significant difference in you appearance and everybody can see it even if it is not spoken. You know it and they know it. You feel better about yourself and have much greater energy and anticipation. You may or may not notice that people are beginning to treat you differently. You like the compliments and the positive feedback. You look great! Wow! What a difference! You are going to just blow away! You begin to think, wow I am looking better. You may find yourself getting out more and taking more chances. Spreading your wings and taking little flights of freedom to see how things work now. Self Confidence increases and you begin looking at the world a little differently. Excitement seems to be ever present. You may find that fear of failure is also increased at this point as you may not fully trust the results of success. Plateaus and periods of static weight loss may cause greater concern. Moods may seem to swing. 5) Identity Crisis – At this point you are very different physically. Your friends, family, and folks you don’t know react differently to you. You may find that the opposite sex respond flirtatiously and jokingly to you. Family, friends, peers, and co-worker relationships seem to change. Some relationships are better, but some are strained. You want more and expect more from others and yourself. You are excited about your new body and look, but may be angered and frustrated by differences in existing relationships. Leveling occurs as people feel threatened by your new look. People may put you down in areas and /or build themselves up as they want to “level” the playing field with you. You probably don’t know exactly where you fit in physically in the world anymore. You may have an exaggerated opinion or an under-exaggerated opinion of where people see your physical attractiveness. “I must look fantastic, because I am getting all this attention and everybody is telling me how good I look”. Or, “I am still fat and people are just saying that I look good to be nice” “He can’t be attracted to me”. This is also a time that poses serious threats to marital relationships. The spouse may feel threatened by the vast changes in your appearance and attractiveness. In addition, the self confidence, energy level, and desire to explore may also pose threats to status quo that once existed in your relationship. Often an obese person has not been happy in a relationship, but has lacked the self confidence and desire to make a change. New energy, attractiveness, self confidence, a desire for improvement, and the inability to discern at what level one fits in socially, may promote a relationship change or a desire to “Upgrade”. This is a time for introspection. Explore your feelings and desires. If you feel angry and frustrated, where are those feeling coming from? Who are those feelings directed towards and why? Seek out people who are honest with you and ask their opinion, but be prepared for their honest criticisms. Validate their criticisms with others that you trust. Be careful to not make rash judgments and changes, but proceed cautiously. It is a time of change, exploration, and hope as you desire to get your life back. There are those people that want to keep you confined. There are those who want to help. There are those who just want to use your energy. There are those that love you regardless of the changes. 6) Self Acknowledgement - This is a time where you begin to see where you fit in to the world as friends, family, peers, and co-workers begin to accept your appearance and changes. You may feel hurt and disappointed at times as the complements and ego boosting flattery begin to dissipate. You may once again feel threatened by the lack of weight loss and the fear of failure as some weight gain may occur. The highs and are not so high, but the lows may tend to make you depressed at times. You still feel good, but may feel less attractive as you receive fewer compliments. Some people that fed off your energy, desire, and newness no longer are as flirtatious and even strangers appear not to pay you as much attention. Life begins to level out and you begin appear “Normal”. 7) Self Acceptance and Self Awareness – At this stage, obesity is of little or no concern to you. You are aware of your size and acceptance of others. You know where you fit in. Some of your insecurities are still there, some have fallen by the wayside, but may have changed. Life has settled down and the normal problems and happiness of life make you aware of your existence. Hopefully, you have grown more beautiful, more emotionally sound, more mentally aware, more spiritually connected, and more wise. Hopefully, the journey has made you more of a person and less of a ghost. The pains that obesity brought you have made you a more empathetic and sympathetic and less judgmental. Understanding and the weathering of your own insecurities have made you strong and compassionate and you now see with clarity the reasons behind your lack of self confidence and you strive to help others to see the beauty that is within each of us. Misconceptions and Naiveté of Sexual Attractiveness - Sex Exploration Obese people often have issues with being accepted by other people, especially physical acceptance. They have often been or become the ugly duckling of society and have gotten use to rejection in the area of physical attractiveness. Often, feeling the rejection of physical attractiveness causes deep seated dependencies and feelings of need. Bottom line, they want to be loved, we want to be pretty and we want to be accepted by other people. Being fat has been a road block that prevented the acceptance from occurring. Physical rejection and lack acceptance is often displayed in parents and siblings. Often, parents and siblings tell a fat child, youth, or adult what they think of their obesity. This can be done out of cruelty, but usually it is done out of concern for the person. However, regardless of the intent, the result is profound in the life of the obese person and can be damaging for a life. In other words, a parent may tell an obese person, “You have gained so much weight... I am so worried about you”. Or they may say, “You have gotten so fat, nobody is going to want to ever be with you”. These types of comments, though they may temporarily encourage a person to lose weight, they also label the over weight person as undesirable and let them know that they are a physical reject to them and to society. Sexual rejection often goes hand in hand with physical rejections and acceptance. Being accepted sexually is often associated with physical acceptance. If a person is accepted sexually, they may feel more pretty, desired, wanted, and loved. Significant weight loss through diet or surgery has a profound affect on a person’s identity. Note that two crucial stages in Weight Loss Differences are the Significant Difference Stage, and the Identity Crisis Stage. In these two critical stages, WLS and Weight Loss people lose their sense of identity. They no longer know how people perceive their physical beauty. This is where Weight Loss people are naive about their sexual attractiveness and may develop Misconceptions of their Sexual Attractiveness. They may have a strong desire to find who is accepting of them now. It is like the person has been a true sexual prisoner of their obesity and has now been released to explore a world full of sexual partners that are accepting of them. As a result, naiveté of sexual attractiveness and their misconceptions of their sexual attractiveness may make Weight Loss Patients vulnerable to marital infidelities, which could endanger monogamous relationships. New energy levels, confidence, self esteem, and the new avenues of accepting sexual partners may create a strong desire for sexual exploration. The Weight Loss person’s sexual prowess is increased and they may find it nearly impossible turn down opportunities of sexual exploration as other people provide the attention that they desire, but lacked for so long. This may come in the form of opposite sex exploration and same sex exploration. The attention that they now receive is addictive. For a loving spouse or significant other, this can be a very frustrating and dangerous time in a relationship. The significant other, out of frustration, may try to control or constrain the Weight Loss patient. However, the attempt to control may actually work to push the Weight Loss person further away. It is a time when great support and communication is needed in the relationship. The significant other may need to provide new opportunities for exploration and provide greater amounts of attention to the weight loss patient. Communication is crucial concerning what is acceptable and what is not acceptable sexual behavior. The weight loss person needs to know they are loved, desired, and wanted. Marital or relationship counseling is strongly suggested during this time. Deeper problems within a relationship may surface as existing problems are magnified with much greater intensity during this time. Weight loss patients during these critical stages are less like accommodating poor or offensive behavior towards them, “I don’t have to put up with this crap and I am not”. Issues that have existed in relationships for long periods of time may come to the forefront. These issues must be addressed. Unfortunately, the spouse or significant other may not understand that the behavior exists or why it has become an issue now. Obesity may have caused the person to “Settle” for acceptance from person that they may think is actually less than desirable or beneath them. The person or people they accepted may have not been the best looking, most kind, most intelligent, most understanding, or may even be abusive. Because of the weight, confidence level, self esteem, and lack of acceptance from more desirable people, They accept the “love” and “settle” for who is available. At the time that they accept this person into our lives, they think they are on the same level or feel that they can’t really do any better because of the “fault” of obesity. Having said all this, I do not mean to imply that everyone goes through these issues or at the intensity mentioned above. However, the weight loss patient and people within the life of the patient need to realize that there are strong emotional and mental issues that a person may go through. Support is crucial and counseling may need to be seriously considered. With such intensely physical changes that take place in the WLS life, mental and emotional issues can be expected as the new person emerges. Try not to make rash judgments and be patient. Areas of Concern: These are areas for which I have thoughts and concerns. I hope to address these soon. If you have other topics in the area of psychology that you would like to see addressed, please let me know. If you want me to place one of the topics listed below at the top of my list, let me know. Thanks You. Energy and Willingness to be in Front of Others Leveling Change in friends Loss of Self Image and Social Position Increase Desire to explore removed barriers Expectations and Unrealistic expectations Self image – I don’t know how to smile for a camera Weight loss and Disappointment Spousal Attractiveness Link to Bruce's website and source of this article: http://www.thinnerse...ationships.html Explore his site I found lots of "goodies" to bookmark.

Hi, I'm 50 year old woman living in Victoria, BC Canada. I'm an elementary teacher on long-term medical leave, married with no children, and have 120-140 pounds to lose. I'm currently on my pre-op diet and will be banded on December 2nd. I would love to hear from someone who's around the same age and has had a similar amount of weight to lose. Thanks!:biggrin:

Ok so i was in a bad accident they took the fluid out so i gained all my weight back bc i was completely immobile for 2 1/2yrs and have to learn to walk again. But while they took the fluid out they made sure I had all these vitamins and made me eat all these meals everyday bc they were afraid my body would shut down bc i always needed blood transfusions and kidney stones 3 different times during all this. so i gained all my weight back and even though i have the fluid back its like its not there. Im always hungry. I can eat like if i dont have the band it just goes down slow or gets stuck till i take a breath. I hate it so obviously i stretched my stomach out but what do i do... it would help so much with my therapy progress if i lost my weight and would not be as strenuous on my body and legs if i was lighter. both feet and left leg were broken which are still healing. since i suffered severe nerve damage all this weight.... well lets just say i am definitely feeling it. and i would like to be able to do more with my daughter and fiance. he wants to pick me up and help me but i dont want to hurt his back. I am back at my starting weight plus 2lbs. i lost 40lbs and it came back... i want to cry all the time. i feel helpless.

This is really helpful, thanks. And Cervidae, yep, I am in therapy and will continue....I know this weight did not happen only bc I thought food was delicious, it's bigger than that for certain. In fact last night I was having dinner with my husband, who runs marathons and considers a Sunday bike ride to be 70 miles, and I kept saying over and over, "But what does normal feel like? What's it like to move through the world WITHOUT this protective bubble? How will I know if people are really good people deep down, if I don't have this barrier that they have to be open to overlooking? Am I suddenly going to be angry at people who once judged me, but are nicer if I'm thinner?" I am really giving a lot of thought to the head piece. I think that's going to be the most overwhelming piece for me. If my physical healing goes well, and I fervently hope it does, I still think the biggest part of this journey is going to happen between my ears. Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App