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I too am a fast eater, always have been. When I was at my highest weight I would eat so fast that I would get horrible indigestion pain on the right side of my stomach that would last 4 days. I still struggle with this, not nearly as fast as I used to be but I mentally need to remind myself to eat slower. During my first weeks post op I would set a timer for each bite, it took me ages to finish a meal. Nowadays if I'm really hungry I'll eat my first two bites really fast then my restriction reminds me to slow down, I almost always end up eating less that what I need to because of it, and then feel hungry again an hour later.

As one of the group "men" I feel the need to defend them. But I won't because relationships have come up and I want to talk about them. Them and being invisible, I want to talk about that also. By the time this is over you will be wishing I defended men. #NotAllMen Invisibility first: When I was 500+ pounds overweight I was a weird sort of invisible. The sort of invisible that people running into posts, missing stair steps, and other slapstick comedy were common around me. The sort of invisible that when I was in crouds, I had a 3 foot buffer of empty space around me. I didn't realize what I had until I lost it. As I was losing weight my invisiblity failed me completely. As I went about my business around my neighborhood, complete strangers would engage with me like long lost friends. I lived next to a police academy. We each ignored each other, or so I thought. When I was at a point I started walking then running, a police officer congratulated me on my weight loss, told me he started way back when I started. Over his car's megaphone. At 4:00am. Then the police cadets file out for their morning run, and he had each of them shake my hand. I almost became a recluse then and there. My invisibilty returned when I lost the excess weight and moved to a new city. It was lilke being showered with happiness. In crowds it wasn't pretend, people really didn't see me. I lost my 3 foot buffer but it was almost worth it. I was just another random person. I am the definition of average looking not worthy of a second glance. Or even a first. It's like a warm blanket on a cold night. Relationships: "WLS makes bad relationships worse and good ones better." If you are losing a signficant amount of weight you are making a big change in the status quo, the balance, of a lot of relationships. In this very thread we've read how relationships change with spouses, friends, enemies, and other strangers. Even yourself. On the "how relationships change for the worst." That lifetime friend that changes because you are now the pretty one. That significant other that liked you the way you were, such as becoming noticable to other men, or because you are more confident, or don't need your significant other as much.You and that unwanted attention. Oddly, "how relationships change for the better" is much the same list. As is often the case, it's all about our perception, our baggage, and what we want from life. If we want to help a relationship make it through this transformation, consistent and repetitive communication is necessary. Keeping and building relationships is only half up to you. Some relationships may not continue because the person on the other side can't cope with your changes. WLS will change your life in more ways than just losing weight. Good luck, Tek

Have a look at Dr Matthew Weiner’s Pound of Cure website and podcasts. He has excellent information, books (incl the metabolic reset diet) and online nutrition classes you can sign up for. They also have support groups you may find helpful too. Personally, I wouldn’t go back to the pre surgical shake diet. (I’m with you, those shakes are disgusting.) Instead go back to how you were eating once your weight initially stabilised. That calorie load was appropriate for the weight you were so will be a deficit for what you are consuming now therefore weight loss will occur Focus of your protein goals eating protein first then vegetables and finally any complex carbs as you are able. Ensure you’re getting your fluids in. Aim for lowish carbs, low sugar (real, artificial or alternatives), lower fats & add a little fruit. Check your portions, try to eat regularly & watch snacking. Track your intake even from now so you can see where you may need to make adjustments. You can start slowly by focussing on one modifying one or two aspect s at a time then two or so weeks later add another change.

I'm so relieved to see that I'm not the only one flagging here and there. I was doing great up until about midway through last week, going on my walks and trying not to look at the scale because I REALLY wanted to see it tick from just above 300 down into the 290s - finally I weighed in and was SO frustrated that I sat at like, 301 for several days. I'm still there now, too. Another thing - I had bought a pair of size 22 jeans and they fit great so I bought a couple pairs of size 24 I found at a thrift store and was heartbroken when they didn't fit! I'm coaching myself as to the reality that the size 22 I'd bought were super wide leg all the way up vs the ones from the thrift store that were more 'fitted' - being the reason they didn't go up over my thighs. I can see the 'bat wings' on my arms, constantly am having to shift my rings around, and am losing in my back/bum area but my thighs are still my problem. I looked up some exercises I have been trying to do to promote a strong core and hopefully reduce visible belly fat/ excess skin in the thighs and arms, but I backed off some on my exercise over the weekend for sure. Per my Fitbit my average is still high, but I feel awful if I don't get in at least 5k steps per day now. I know I'm getting ready to start my period any day so HOPEFULLY after this comes and goes my weight will have another significant drop. @Justarwaxx and @ShoppGirl - You are both doing so great! It's always nice to pop back on here and see your updates

This is a topic I'm a bit concerned with, honestly. I was heavy all of my life, and normally was the one to initiate contact with men. Men giving me 'the gaze' made me feel uncomfortable, and assertive men who talked about my body made me want to run and hide. I didn't like my body and didn't know what they thought they saw, but it usually made my skin crawl. Now, I'm starting to dress better with more form fitting clothing. I'm excited about looking better, but I don't really WANT attention at the same time. It's a confusing time. Meanwhile, my fella - who was one of those 'chubby chasers' has actually been gaining weight due to temporary inactivity. I've come to realize that he used to be chubby and was picked on for it, relentlessly, as an adolescent. I can definitely see the self consciousness growing in HIM now and it's made it challenging for me to find a balance and feel 'valid' and attractive since his decline in sexuality is matching my increase in confidence. I know that this, too, shall pass, and he'll get on track again - he's already been cutting back on carbs and joining me for my long walks and such, but it's a weird transition. I was never one who was very comfortable receiving compliments or attention I didn't initiate, so I'm kind of dreading the 'male gaze'.

I’m 5 years out & I did not need to loose that much weight. I wish you the best of luck! My surgeon told me to go back to the basic, the diet of pre surgery. Liquids only. I know it is tough. Also look into the Fast metabolism diet that is how I got to my ultimate goal weight. It’s eating healthy foods in a certain order each week. You don’t need to buy any crazy pills to take every day, just eat a certain amount of foods. Even though we can’t eat the amount of foods the diet calls for, just following the food regimen was enough for me. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

Hi everyone! I’m looking for an accountability partner who understands the journey of a 200+ pound weight loss—whether you’ve already achieved it or are working toward it now. I had gastric bypass 10 years ago and initially lost 200 pounds, but I’ve since regained it. I’m starting to lose my mobility, but I refuse to give up. I know I need to use my tool and get this weight off (again). I’ve found that having an accountability partner makes a big difference, and I tend to stay much more consistent. Plus, I’ll admit I’m a little competitive! I run a business, so my work life can get busy, but I’m committed to making myself a priority this year. Weekly check-ins (or more often, if that works for you) would be great. Ideally, we’d both be committed to our goals and help keep each other accountable. 😊

sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but lose enough weight and the butt will follow the same deflated path as the boobs. le sigh. i mean you could do a whole lotta squats and leg lifts and bridges, but unless you gain the exact same muscle mass in volume as you the fat you lost, you are gonna see some excess skin. i've been doing some dedicated butt work, and yes, when i flex i get a little bit of a nice bumpy "portrusion", but my extra skin is draped over it! lololzzz... if i'm feeling adventurous, i'll see if i can post of pic of what i'm taking about. ha! in any case, loose skin or not, deflated boobies and saggy bottoms, if you feel good, it really doesn't matter. cuz when you feel good, it projects outwardly. (and p.s., its projecting in your case ❤️)

I need to keep a pair of my big pants so I can do this picture when I get to goal weight!

Win: I'm 7 months post op today. Im reflecting and saying to myself GIRL YOU DID THE WORK! The WORK is REAllY hard, but the benefit outweighs the hard work. Unfortunately, with the disease of obesity the work is continuous, but Feeling great in my clothing, the ability to have more energy, more movement, and no longer having to take diabetes medicine are all major wins. Today I will embark upon a new journey now that I'm about 20 plus pounds from goal weight, I have invested in my health (a very easy on the eyes 😂😂personal trainer who will work on lifting these glutes and tighten the thighs) time to put in more work 🤘🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽#bariatricwins

When you're on a weight loss journey, it's tough to balance everything, including habits like vaping. Some people find that it doesn't affect their weight loss much, while others might notice it gets in the way, especially regarding cravings or energy levels. Trying to quit or reduce your vaping could help your overall health in the long run, and you might feel even better about your progress. There's no one-size-fits-all answer, but focusing on what works best for you is vital. If you're looking for good quality vaping products, check out sites like https://fryd.us.com , which have various options.

I wish you a happy healthy journey on your surgery and weight loss. I saw April Laren on YouTube had the DS and was very honest about her first few weeks. She might be worth a look.

Got cleared yesterday to go back to exercise except weights and I got right back to it. Did almost 5 miles so far today, will do the same tomorrow before I meet my friend for lunch.

I find myself more attractive after weight loss, so why wouldn't men? If some didn't want to be my friend because of my weight, yeah, that's a problem. But didn't want to date me because of my weight, I get it. Beyond physical appearance, when I was overweight there were things I couldn't or didn't want to do, hike, skydive, beach vacations etc.. People want partners that they not only find attractive, but that enjoys many of the same activities they do. I met my bf after WLS surgery. We have had many conversations about my weight, WLS etc.. He would not have dated me at my pre WLS weight. And that's ok, because I wouldn't have dated him if he was 100 lbs heavier than he is now either. As far as the "male gaze", I am completely unbothered by it. Having men do the double, triple take is sometimes amusing, but mostly I'm indifferent to it. I'm out there in public, let them look.

I'm huge on measuring everything, I make my family crazy. lol, but it is really necessary especially post weight loss surgery. I'm hoping the more progress I make, it will change my sibling's outlook on food being healthy, and eating clean. But right now I'm going to focus on myself and hopefully, they both follow suit. Best of luck to you on your continued journey, Again thanks so much!

I had a sleeve 3/9/2021. I was a lower BMI and on meds so the surgeon thought it was a good idea for me. I lost from 235 to 168 pretty quick, stalled there for a few months and then started gaining. For the start with the sleeve it felt like more of a diet. The only thing that made it a bit more successful was the fact that I didn’t have hunger for a while but as soon as it came back, so did the weight. I went back to the surgeon at 258 this time and he said that obesity is very complex and the sleeve is just not enough of a metabolic change for some people. I revised to the SADI 8/7/2024 and at three months post op I have lost 60 pounds with about 40 left to reach my secret goal. From day one I have known that this is different this time. I am able to actually enjoy some of the healthy recipes I am trying. I am making stuff from scratch and I have energy and motivation to exercise. Don’t get me wrong. I would love to binge watch my favorite show while eating a pizza but exercise also makes me feel great when I’m done and the healthy food doesn’t taste terrible so the healthy choices are a lot easier this time. For me, recovery was a breeze with the sleeve. I asked them the moment I woke up to take me off of pain meds, and I went home the next day forgetting at one point that I even had surgery. This was because I did not have any gas pains the first time around. After the SADI, however, I did have very significant gas pains and spent five days in the hospital because I could not get off of the pain medication that they did not want to send me home on. Once I finally was able to pass gas a few times, iI was fine, went home and did not need any more pain meds, other than Tylenol. It sounds like you already went through the worst gas pain so I can’t imagine the recovery being much harder for you. It’s the same basic thing the same laparoscopic incisions. Feel like you’ve done 1000 crunches. Take the second to go from sitting to standing or sitting to lying down but once you’re up, it’s not so bad. My doctor did not operate on the stomach, some do re-sleeve it, but he felt that resleeving carried more risk than it was worth in terms of additional weight loss. I was pretty nervous about that to be honest, but I am back to my pretty normal portions already but that’s not an issue because I am eating 100% clean this time. One thing with the SADI is, it’s fairly new in medical community time frame. I have seen a lot of specialist from different fields and not one has ever heard of the SADI. I always have to tell them it’s a modified duodenal switch and they get it. So your doctors may not be aware of it meaning you really need to understand the surgery yourself to make sure that you ask the right questions for future care. Another obstacle for me has been that the nutritionist in my area at least are pretty much worthless when it comes to the SADI. I have been fortunate enough that the nurse practitioner helped me work out my macros by viewing my Fitness app and my food log app and I have worked out something that is working for me. Aside from that, I could not be happier with my choice. I was told I could do SADI or Bypass revision. My surgeon did a gastric emptying study, endoscopy, and a barium swallow test to make sure everything was OK with my sleeve and to see what I was a candidate for. He ended up leaving it up to me because either would’ve worked, but he advised that the weight loss statistically is a little more and more durable with the SADI revision. it is pretty normal to be nervous at this point in your journey, but statistically this is a relatively safe procedure and honestly, the risk are far less than the risks of all the other diseases and conditions that will pop up eventually if you don’t do anything. I hope this helps. And good luck on your surgery.

ok, so not gonna lie, mr. told me years ago he missed my ginormous boobs, i had huge boobs even as a thin thing (i actually got a breast reduction when i was 29 because of chronic back pain (i was like 130 lbs at the time). but even after the breast reduction, they were still pretty ample. then the weight gain started and they became the size of my head (EACH!) lol. mr. was in heaven. fast forward to WLS and the resultant deflated balloons, but Mr. was still satisfied with the "handfuls" he could grope. ....then i had a breast lift, which removed the excess skin and tightened them up all nice and firm (and made them smaller). I LOVE THEM OMG. but Mr. went into a mini-mourning....i'm like a 29C right now, jeez...that still respectable! ...BUT he did say that the re-ingintion of my "adventurism" during sexy times more than makes up for HIS perception of my smaller boobs. plus he has also commented many that my confidence and all around relaxed attitude is GOLD. sooo...long story short. boobs or not, its all in the ATTITUDE.

I completely agree, its not just the weight that's changed.

I weighed 270 and was a size 22/24 when I met and married my husband. After I had our daughter, I was 340. And through the years, I went all the way to 421. My husband is known as a "chubby chaser" so he always loved how I look. Now that I'm 176 (I friggin dropped weight AGAIN...sigh...) and a size med/large, he struggles with how thin I am now. I'm literally the same size I was in high school. I weighed 165 then, so I'm still 11 pounds heavier but my clothing size is the same. My ring size is smaller. I have SO MUCH male attention now, and it actually annoys me. Every time I get hit on, I give the "bombastic side eye" and stare right through them. If they don't stop, and some don't, I say "no" and when they start to question me, I say "no is a complete sentence. now leave before I get pissed and show you my nasty side" and I walk away lol

possibly a controversial comment, but i'll say it anyway: i don't think we are the same people inside after massive weight loss. going through that kind of huge change so quickly, i believe has GOT to have some sort impact on our phscyes. for me at least, i know my confidence increased 100-fold, or to be more precise, i RE-GAINED my confidence from 15 years ago, plus added more for good measure. my personality changed form a do-nothing to a do-everything. my constant irritation, annoyance and exhaustion was replaced with patience, understanding and energizer-bunny level ability. i am NOT the same person i was from my obesity era. and that's a fact. so yeah, OF COURSE others will react to me differently, because i'm DIFFERENT.

my husband met me when i was a smokin' hot, 120lb-23 year old, married me at a decent sized 130lb-30 yr old, was by my side as i worked my way up to a morbidly obese, 235lb-45 yr old, and is surprisingly still around as i am now a 105lb-52 yr old (smokin' hot again, if i say so myself, lol). i say "surprisingly" cuz i'm ALOT. and i know it, lol. the man has the patience of a SAINT for effs sakes (i'm very lucky). while i can't say if my weight loss/gain changed his attraction to me (i mean he'd NEVER say so, and apparently his want for sexy times has not increased nor diminished this entire time...if anything, MY OWN want for sexy times is directly proportional to my weight....the heavier i got, the less interested i was, you know? now i'm like energizer bunny again like my younger days, which i guess Mr. is pleased about, but i digress.) as for attention from others (male and/or female), yes, i know it is also proportional to my weight/looks. but i mean, lets be honest, i get more attention when i'm fitter, because...well, i'm fitter. i am not one of those that get offended because the same person that hit on me now when thin again, didn't when i was fat. that person is psychically attracted to a certain type. and i may or may not fit that bill depending at what point in time you get me. yes, i have a stunning personality, but if i am not physically attractive to you, you may never get to discover that. oh well, that's just how it goes. truth be told, i am much more physically attracted to fit, muscular men (case in point: my Mr. has been a literal FIT SPECIMEN then entire time i've known him). BUT...once that initial attraction is cemented, if a dude turns out to be an un-funny, un-intelligent, boring, DUD, then, well, next. luckily, Mr. has the brain to match the body (I WIN! lol) if a sandwich looked unappealing? would you eat it? most would not. i think the physical attraction is what hooks people, but its the personality/vibe that brings them in. so i guess what i'm saying is that people are people, and we don't need to hang on to perceived offences if it does us no good. accept the compliment, bask in your awesomeness, and move on. (or stay if you want a little fun, ha!)

So I will definitely say that I am so oblivious LOL I stay in my own world so I really don't know, however I do have a great deterrent from men talking to me....my kids! LOL My boyfriend has actually had a hard time with my weight loss...there was a good point where he felt uncomfortable being intimate. He said that the change happened so fast that I felt and looked so different he felt like he was cheating on the old me. He also preferred me fluffy, met me at 240lbs size 16, then I blew up to 297lbs size 20 after I had our baby, and now I am 160 ish at a size 2-4, but he also understood I did this surgery for my health. I am getting my boobies done 12/30 so I k now that will be another hurdle I think, then I most likely will be getting more obvious blunt attention that both of us will have to get used to. Our relationship is strong and our communication is really good so we will be okay but its been a process lol

Today is my 7 year surgiversary 🎉 I can’t believe it’s been that long but my lifestyle does have a lived in feel to it. My weight is stable-ish with a current BMI of ~25. I have no problem finding safe things to eat while out but this year I cooked the major of my meals. That means I accidentally began meal prepping because of cooking foods only I seem to want to eat twice in a row. I’m ok with this as I actually like eating the same things, ad nauseum 🤣. I drink hot tea every morning and most nights. I have fully returned to carbonated water, kombucha and pre/probiotic drinks. Some highlights of this year includes sending my last child off to college, my first colonoscopy, started reading spicy books (thanks ACOTAR) and a few bucket list trips (The Space Coast to visit Kennedy Space center, Grand Canyon and the New Mexico hot air balloon festival). I’m still very satisfied with the outcome of WLS and all of the new advancements in obesity medicine.

I would say that I've always been easy on the eyes I'm not sure why people feel uncomfortable saying they are attractive. Im a very blunt person. I noticed when I was much larger even with being easy on the eyes the MALE gaze was not as strong as it is now. Sometimes the Male Gaze was none-existent to be honest. The old me (date 5 and break all 5 hearts) wants to resurface. It astounds me now how men will literally make a 360 in a store, gas station, they could even be with a significant other. Where was this male gaze when I was hitting 313 pounds? What does this say about men and what they presume as attractive? How does your current spouses/boyfriends feel about your weight loss? Any breakups?

Today I am officially one month post op. I just had my follow up with the team and I've lost 11.6kg (25.6 lbs) since surgery. They said this total weight loss "was slightly above expected range." So I don't know if I lost more than they expected me to or less than they expected me to, but they seem happy with my progress either way. They've also said as soon as I have no abdominal pain, I can start cycling again! I'm so happy to get back on the bike. Especially since in total, I've lost 24.1 kg (53 lbs) so I should be able to go further and faster on the bike!