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Thanks for the response. Sorry about posting this question in the wrong section (should be in fitness rather than post-op, but oh well). I went to Amazon.com and searched for "New Rules of Lifting." Surprisingly, there were a few different books with that name for men. Should I get the one titled "The New Rules of Lifting: Six basic Moves for Maximum Muscle", "The new Rules of Lifting for Life: An all-new muscle-building, fat blasting plan for men and women who want to ace their midlife exams", "The New Rules of lifting for Abs: A myth-busting Fitness Plan for Men and Women who wat a Strong Core and a Paint-Free Back" or "The New Rules of Lifting Supercharged: Ten All-new Muscle-Building Programs for Men and Women." Looking for some advise on which book because I have quite a number of very good weight lifting books and don't want to buy many more. The ones I got are too advanced for a newbie. Every time I start weight lifting on my own in the past (e.g. lifting dumbells), I usually get lazy and go back to Cardio (no problem challenging myself on the ellyptical or treadmill). I think it is a matter of enjoying the training and staying focused. All that said, I am looking for the best book / video on helping me achieve real results in 2-3 times a week without hurting myself. Also, money is tight so I am unable to join a gym. I have a bench, some dumbells (5 - 30 lb) and a giant ball at home.

My personality change is one of the TOP reasons I am considering lap-band. I have always been a yo-yo dieter and while doing Atkins I went from 200 to 150 (wore a size 6!!) and I was alive, full of happiness, on the go all the time, was very social and loved to be intimate with my husband. I have since gained 110 lbs in 10 years (most of it in the past 6 years) and I am gaining faster every year and in the past 2 years my personality has changed drastically. I FAKE happiness all the time...when all I think about is food and how fat I am. It consumes my every thought. If I am talking to someone about something else I am thinking about how much skinnier they are than me or what they must be thinking about me. I have a great life with a wonderful husband and 2 awesome kids. I really have nothing other than my weight to worry about it. I used to do my hair and makeup to go to the store...now I go without even looking in the mirror. I have given up on looking good because how can I possibly look good at 260lbs??? My relationship with my husband has definately changed. He tells me all the time how much he loves me, but I think he is just saying that because he took me for better or for worse...and he got the worst! We have sex MAYBE once a month and its not that enjoyable for me. I am uncomfortable and worried the whole time about hiding my body. I know the lapband wont buy me a better personality, but even getting some of this extra weight off will make a big difference on how I feel about myself.

This is not my advise but I didn't really work out during my weight loss phase... I plan to start soon!! :-)

5 days post op and gained a little over 7 pounds from surgery. I have been anxiously waiting to the scale to go down lower than the day i went in for surgery and this morning it is 3.3 lbs lower!! My first official loss!

I am a little confused.. The band makes you eat less (i am not hungry at all,i force myself to eat) but you need more calories so you can be able to lose. I stay in 800-1000 calories ,70-100 gram proteins, 30-50 grams carbs and 20-30 fat,eating at least 4 times a day to keep my metabolism high.I lose weight right after a fill (when i dont eat and i am on liquids and mushies for 3-4 days) and when i get to 800-1000 cals i dont lose.I lost almost 30 pounds in 3 months so maybe my body needs a rest for the last 15 days.I increased my carbs,nothing..I increased fat,nothing again.. But it makes me wonder..how do you balance the band's restriction with the need to eat at least 1000 calories?:smile2:

I have posted before about the problems that I have been having since my last fill in April. I haven't been able to eat hardly at all and when I am able to eat, 90% of the time I end up throwing it back up. I constantly keep horrible heartburn and hardly ever have any energy (guess its from not being able to eat). I have been told by family, friends, people on here, and even my hubby that my band is to tight. Although I haven't been losing weight like I was before my last feel I haven't been gaining any either and didn't want to admit to myself that my band was to tight. Why I haven't wanted to admit to it, I have no earthly idea. I finally decided today to call the doctor and explain what was going on and has been going on since my last fill and the nurse said just the same as everyone else had been telling me all along. My band is to tight and I need to come in to have some of the Fluid taken from my band. So, I have a doctors appointment this coming Wednesday to have a slight unfill. I sure do hope that the doctor doesn't take to much out to where I am able to eat more than I should.

No, I wasn't. Oh, I know that risk is always there. I did everything to mitigate it as best I could - chose my surgeon carefully, lost weight prior to surgery, got in as good physical shape I could, etc. And then I trusted. I didn't even tell most people in my life until AFTER the procedure was done. My mom, my friends, they were all worried enough for me. LOL They all knew I was having it done, though. So rather than have them all worked up with anxiety, I just scheduled and did it and called/told them afterwards.

First, congratulations on your wonderful weight loss journey. You have made the physical part of WLS a phenomenal success! I'm a noob here. But I already know that a lot of marriages don't survive weight loss surgery. Marriages that fail do so for a lot of different reasons. It sounds to me like you are the one who's changing. That's not necessarily a bad thing or a good thing. And for now (either permanently or temporarily -- it's not clear yet) you want to change your life in some specific ways. But your husband is having a negative reaction. Put those two things together and it's something that could become a bad thing. You've surely read the same WLS boards I have. The saddest stories to me are the ones where the WLS partner "went wild" (their words, not mine) and enjoyed life in ways they had sorely missed when they were heavier, some for the very first time, "getting it out of their system." It seems to be a phase they are compelled to go through. For people already in committed relationships these changes usually cause or exacerbate problems in their marriage. A year or two later, some of these WLS patients realize they're now done with that phase. They realize the cost of their adventure was higher than they wish they'd paid. I would gently suggest that it's time for old-fashioned communication between you and you husband. You both need to find out what your respective bottom lines are. And you need to communicate those clearly and respectfully. Then you two must negotiate what you're willing to pay for what you really want. A counselor might be able to help you have this conversation. As someone who's been through this and seen even it in others, please be very careful about "winning." If both people don't win, the relationship won't last -- or worse, you will stay together and one or both of you will be miserable. I wish you the best in addressing this new phase in your marriage. Naturally, I have no idea what the best outcome for you is. Good luck, Ann

Don't wait for motivation for strike. Just act----and the motivation will follow. This was one of the biggest lessons I've learned with my band and where I am in my weight loss journey. If I wait to be motivated, I'm just spinning my wheels. If I just act as if I'm already motivated...right now, today,....the motivation will jump on board.

It seems as though my family was opposite. They were much more scared of losing me being over weight then losing me over surgery. And I dont even really have many pre-op medical problems. I agree with the others, and yeah maybe your family should read whats here and see the good the bad... its all mostly good.. If this is something you REALLY want they will have to understand.. and support you! Good Luck with everything and keep us posted

Week 31 and 32 Last week’s weight – 193.6 This week’s weight – 191.8 Total weight lost this week – 1.8 Beginning weight – 246 lbs Total weight loss since surgery – 54.2 lbs Sorry for the failure to post last week. My weight stayed the same from week 30 to week 31 (193.6) but dropped in week 32 by 1.8 lbs. I got my period in week 31 and had a major Halloween candy binge (for me… with the sleeve…which was nothing compared to my pre-sleeve Halloween candy binges. Thank. God.). I am a little sick (cold like symptoms) this week but I have stuck to my Crossfit gym routine. I have to say when I stepped on the scale this morning I almost fainted from shock. I was expecting to see more of the same (bouncing between 193 and 195 which I have been doing lately). So seeing 191 on the scale was super exciting. That means I am pretty close to the 180’s. Yay! My goal is 150 (with a fantasy goal of 145). I went to an evening session of Crossfit (I am normally a morning girl) and someone I met when I first joined 2 months ago was impressed by my weight loss since I joined. I haven’t loss that much since I joined Crossfit but I think I must look “toner”. That was a nice compliment to get. It made my evening. Basically I am still trucking along. It is easier to stay on track when I am busy and not as easy to stay on track when I am off schedule (we had a week off for fall break that messed up my eating habits a bit…as in I was eating more). I ran into someone from my husband’s work at the voting poll and she said that my husband had said I had lost a lot of weight….since he never brings it up at home I was surprised he had said anything. He is a great guy who will love me at any size but it is nice to hear that he has been noticing.

I too was required to go before surgery and once after. At first I HATED it. In a gourp of about 35 people, only me and one other person were banded. The rest were bypass. They were insulting and kept trying to get me to change my mind about a band. They were almost militant about it. I thought they were rude and insensitive. They kept telling me I wouldn't lose any weight with a band. I was very put out so I complained to my surgeon. His response was, "KEEP GOING and prove them wrong!!" If they don't have anything to base these opinions on, maybe they need a successful person to show them that it can be done. So I kept going. With my loss, within 7 months, they can't say that now. They don't say anything negative to me anymore, and now more people are opting for bands. I stay and answer questions etc. and it's worked out. I only go once a month as the time conflicts with my water aerobics class, but the couselor who runs it likes when I come.

I can understand that my weight was protection for me. But, not everyone who is overweight or has been overweight has low self esteem. I always knew my self-worth, lol, some would say I value myself too much. I wasn't alone because I was a fat chick, I was alone because I didn't tolerate bad behavior or attempts at controlling me & my boys, in any way from anyone that I was dating, seeing, etc. Why did I put up with it from this person when I didn't from anyone else? As I look at the time line I can see that a lot has happened over these past couple years and a big part of it was that my boys - who were the driving force of my life - the reason I made every decision I made, even lap band - to keep my health issues from leaving them motherless. At any rate, they were the full force and focus of my life and they have both grown up (at least they think so) and moved out. My eldest, now 20, shortly before surgery and my youngest 18, within the past year. I'm thinking - and this really makes me mad now - that I allowed his bad behavior because I thought I could "mother" him into something better - that he was damaged and I could "fix" him, like my boys. I didn't go into our relationship blindly, I knew he had issues but I had never experienced this kind of relationship before BECAUSE I WOULDN'T PUT UP WITH IT. I think that when he began "acting out," which was a few months after my baby moved out I was dealing with "empty nest" issues and needing to nurture and heal, and take care of someone. So, as his emotional issues became a problem for us, instead of booting him out like I would have anyone else I thought I could help work through his problems like I did with my boys who are both ADD, but, thankfully, well adjusted members of society today. I see now as I look at that timeline and think back on these actions and issues that he played on that need because every time he got angry and threw one of his temper tantrums - never actually hitting or hurting me, but punching walls, windows, etc. I would leave. Then for days, weeks he would call, cry, tell me how much he needed me, that no one ever took care of him and loved him like me, etc. And I stood my ground - until just about the time we were both ready to let go and move on. Then I'd change my mind and go back to him with another deal, maybe if we changed this or that about our life we wouldn't have this problem, etc. Of course he'd take me back, because he loved me and needed me so much. Playing on that empty nest thing, that I really didn't realize I was going through until I really looked at how childish his behavior really was. At any rate, the biggest part of solving these kinds of problems is finding the root, or mapping the cause - How did I get here? Ok, now that I'm beginning to figure it out I can work on it and fix it. Kind of like when you get lost driving somewhere - you have to figure out how you got where you are so that you can get where you need to go. Can you tell that I've done the therapy thing before? Thanks so much for your opinions and advice and I will be around visiting the boards more often. I just didn't know where to find y'all. Doh! As tech savy as I am I never thought to search for a lap band forum where people are dealing with their life and issues after surgery. The Skinny Fat Chick

YOU ARE COMPLETLY RIGHT! Often times weight is more than just calories. I remember wishing to be fat in the begining of my marrage because I didnt trust myself to be faithful. So I wanted to be undesirable. Well, At 275#'s I some how recalled that moment so many years ago and now in the midst of a strong marrage which is now 10 years old I am no longer unsecure with my faithfullness. and the weight is no longer needed. With the lapband I am reclaiming control over the habits I have created for protection and stepping into a brighter future. Like you I have no help from inurance. I found an wonderful DR. in TJ and have not looked back. If you would like me to introduce you let me know. Being self pay is hard but it doesnt have to break the bank! email me

I'm still here and the same. There was this Dr. Phil TV show a while back that had people on there who thought their lives would change IF they could just lose weight. Many others have written extensively on this topic....the only thing that changes when you lose weight is your clothing size, how many cubic inches you take up space, and health issues. I agree with TopTier, your issues aren't with your weight....it's with your thought processes. Your choice in mates isn't about your weight. Fat or thin you make the same choices. But you are demonstrating a desire to change-but first you must get to the bottom of it. I think it's self esteem, but I'm no social worker. Do yourself a favor- begin by getting rid of anything and everything that doesn't lift you up. Friends, family, bills, tv shows, music, food, clothing, shoes, junk in the corner, - anything. Good luck on your journey and please come back and give us an update.

Hi Karen! My advice to you is to do your research if you haven't already. There are a lot of different kinds of weight loss surgery and a lot of different complications each can have. Make sure you know what the risks are, know what potential problems you can have, and make sure that you're comfortable with the decision. Read the boards here and find blogs of people who have had the surgery! The whole process went by really quickly for me. I went to a seminar, had an actual appointment at the office two days later, and scheduled the surgery at that appointment for four weeks after that! I was a little dazed through the whole thing, really. I'd researched for a few years and then when I finally made a move it was seemingly lightning fast. Best of luck to you!!

I had my surgery 8/18 and have slept very little, but am able to function well. It needs to be sugar free for weight loss.

My experience is like fox ins. I am pretty close to goal (5 lbs) and eat more than 4 months ago. I look at the times I don't lose as plateaus also. If I eat healthy and appropriate portion sizes, I will do fabulously. If I eat crap, I will gain weight back. It is sole logic.

First of all, as far as I know there is no definition of a "stall." Is it when you don't lose weight for one day, two days, a week, two weeks, a month? That said, there were many, many months, including my first month after surgery, when the scale did not move for 3 days and then there sould be a drop on two or three pounds. Most months I lost 8-9 lbs, which is a little more than a quarter pound a day, As the months went on, I sometimes stayed at the same weight for longer periods. In April 2011, I stayed the same for six days and then lost half a pound, but for the month I was down 8.5 lbs. In May 2011, I stayed the same weight for 11 days, and lost only 4 lbs that month. The following month I lost 11 lbs. What I am trying to illustrate is that if you stick to your plan and just trust that you will lose, it will be a lot easier on you emotionally. When I got on the scale and saw the same number a few days in a row, I just said to myself, "Well, maybe tomorrow." Plateaus (I like that word better than "stall") happen. They start, they end. Take a deep breath and just move on.

You basically answered your plateau problem. . maintaining your diet only takes you so far if you're not pushing yourself and burning those calories off. I know just getting back into this this past couple weeks by exercising 5 times a week for 45 minutes to an hour . . and all I do is walk, has allowed me to maintain a steady weight loss. Also, what's a common daily menu for you? Are you getting enough Water? Wish you the best in your journey!

The first couple of days after surgery are a bit fuzzy, but that is to be expected. I tried to ween myself off the pain meds fairly quickly. Now, I only use them at night, if needed to help go to sleep. I haven't used them for the last couple nights. My new stomach and I are still trying to negotiate terms, and each day is spent trying to figure out what things we do and do not like. The only major hiccup I have had in this process is that I woke up this past Thursday night/Friday morning about 3:30am screaming in pain. It was an excruciating pain on the upper-right part of the abs, just under the rib cage. I suspected it was a gallbladder thing. I contacted the doc as soon as his office opened in the morning, and they had me come in for an exam. The doc seems to think it had something to do with gallbladder too. He sent me to get tested and have an ultrasound done of the area. By about 2pm in the afternoon, the pain left about as quickly as it came... and I was able to relax enough to fall back to sleep. Something positive that came out of the doc visit is to see that I dropped almost 10 lbs since surgery. All together, I have lost like 47 lbs, I can hardly believe it. I'm almost at the 50 lbs mark since last spring. How is that even possible? I've never been this successful at losing weight... and most of that weight came off pre-op! So, as I've approached (and maybe even hit) the 50 lbs mark, something I've noticed about my morning/evening walks with the dog is that I feel phenomenal. I mean, as I walk, it feels like there is less gravitational pull on my body... almost like what I would imagine walking across the surface of the moon would be like. I walk faster, the pressure that used to be on my knees and lower back is gone... and my clothing is hanging on me... making it feel like I'm flowing as I walk. I know that people still seen the 300+ lbs version of me, but that version of me is becoming less by the day. I still have a long way to go before I hit my goal. However, with as fit and energetic as I feel at the moment, I see myself more as the person who has already hit that goal. I hope I can continue on this strong in the coming months as winter approaches.

2.5 weeks out, and I returned to work yesterday. I didn't think sitting at a desk job would be that taxing... and was I wrong. I was going strong all morning... then about 2pm, I heated up, the room started spinning, and I couldn't walk straight. My admin assistant told me that I was suddenly drained of color, and they were ready to call a cab to send me home in. I allowed the episode to pass before driving home. I made it home by 3pm, crawled into bed and passed out. I awoke briefly at 8pm, had some dinner and crawled back into bed. Today is a new day. I returned to work, and things seem to be going better so far. I am trying to better stay on my feeding schedule... I'm alert... my admin assistant said I look 100x's better today. Fun times... I think there are a couple frustrating things related to this process.... 1) There are certain things I want, but know I can't have (namely Ice Cream and Pizza), but these are the same things that probably got me into this situation. For whatever reason, Chili seems to be my go-to, now that I can have semi-solid foods. I have been able to eat chili without any issues, every time. I've tried scrambled eggs and refried beans mashed together, but that doesn't go down well. I suspect I'll need to learn some other soup recipes... 2) I have lost 55 lbs, meaning I'm sorting through clothing to see what clothing fits and what doesn't. I've had to 'retire' my 3x shirts/blouses. My size 24 dress pants are getting baggy, my size 20 dress pants aren't quite big enough for me, and I don't have ANY size 22 pants at this point (I gave them all away). It was pretty awesome to step into my size 24 dress pants this morning, and have them be so big. With any luck, I'll be into the size 20 pants within the month, but I'm not sure what to do in the meantime. One friend suggested I run over to goodwill to grab a couple pair of size 22 dress pants to make it through the month. And once I drop below size 20... I'll have to start buying everything, because I don't have anything below size 20 at this point. I am REALLY looking forward to the smaller sizes. 3) One of my goals is to go snowboarding over the holidays. My snowboarding stuff has been in storage for several years (I messed up my knee winter of 2008/2009), and waiting for me to return. I tried on my snowboarding pants this weekend, and there is still some weight in the hips, thighs, and belly before they fit right. My surgeon asked that I lose 35 lbs by the beginning of December, and it is my goal to lose 50 lbs by that point. I should fit back into all of my gear at that point. Of course, once I hit my overall goal, I will need to get new clothing, since there is no way that they will fit next year. 4) I know I have made so good progress, and over half of it is from the work I did pre-op. However, I still see my 300+ lbs self in the mirrors on the walls of the dance studio when I go to zumba class. In every class I've been to in the last week, I'm the LARGEST/HEAVIEST person there. I do my best to keep up, and the loss of 50 lbs has really helped me move more easily. There are still things I can't do well, and I'm still not fast. With all of the work I've done, I feel like I should be an average-sized person. But I still have about 150 lbs to go before I'm there. So, when people see me, unless they know the work I've been doing, they only see some 300+ lbs fat girl. People still stare me down, make inappropriate comments, and judge me. For as much hard work as I've done over these last few months, I still have to deal with regular and daily ridicule of those who know nothing about me. I've been changing inside and out, but this does not stop mean people from being mean. I think this is the worst and most frustrating part of the process... I'm dealing with myself daily, and this is very much in the moment... time feels like it has slowed down. I have to feel every pain and see every look, there is no fast forward button. Once I am beyond this stage, I'm sure it will seem like it happened in the blink of an eye, but the day-to-day of this time ticking by so slowly... I've experienced this in the past, when I've lived abroad and am learning the language and culture of those places... but those were fun times... Yeah, that's me... I don't want to wish my days away, I just wish this process didn't take such a toll on me.

I made a friend at support group who had the RNY the same week (hers was on a Mon. and mine a Fri.) and she and I are about tied even on weight loss. HOWEVER, she is wheelchair bound due to a freak accident injuring both of her knees. During her extensive recovery she contracted a MRSA infection that nearly took her life. She is indeed lucky to be alive today. She is very soon going to be having both of her knees operated on (again) with the hopes of being ambulatory soon. She *wishes* she had the sleeve but didn't hear of it/know much about it and went with the RNY. I tell her all the time, it doesn't matter, YOU make this work for YOU, because the thought of her being able to walk again. WOW. She has had an okay recovery, no strictures, and she doesn't get dumping (which she was actually sad about, lol) but her little pouch is far more sensitive than my sleeve. I think as the sleeve gains popularity, it make shake the core of the "gold standard" being the RNY. There is SO much more data on the RNY, it's hard to compare. I am so happy with my choice of the sleeve too! To think *shudder* I was going for the band originally. Thank goodness for the sleeve and all of my sleeve sister and brothers who took the path before me so it wasn't as scary when it was my turn.

Where I am originally from (a small town in Texas) there are many people, approx. 13 these are just people that I personally know, that have had RNY. All but ONE have regained some of their weight. Some never even got close to their goal weight. Some have gained a lot of the weight back, some just 20 or 25 lbs, which seems like quite a bit to me. There are three other people I know in the same town who've had WLS, two banded and one, the asst. DA, he is the ONLY one to get sleeve surgery. It's amazing, the sleeve is very popular in the larger cities in Texas, but it hasn't caught on in the smaller towns east and west of Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and Austin. Eventually it will. I predict that in five or ten years.....RNY will NOT be the "gold standard" any longer. That is just my humble opinion. I do not regret my decision on the sleeve, not for one minute. I just don't see the bypass patients being successful long term....

Hey, I had my surgery on December 7th and have lost 43 pounds. I lost 21 pounds that first month, but I did have a stall by the third week. I was annoyed. I am still losing and sometimes I go a week without losing weight. I know it is frustrating, but you are going to lose the weight. You seem to have done well so far. You just need to keep doing what you are doing. Maybe lay off the crackers. My surgeon has me on 400-600 calories until I lose 75% of my weight. I guess some doctors are different with what they want others to do.