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So sorry you're struggling right now. I think if we're all being honest, we're ALL been there. I've said this before, but I strongly believe anyone that is or was obese has an eating disorder or at least suffers from disordered eating. You simply don't get that big unless you have an unhealthy relationship with food. The thing is, none of us magically got better by having bariatric surgery. If you think you need it, please reachout to a mental health professional to help you get back on track. If you don't feel ready for therapy, that's okay too. You have to do what's right for you. Just know that there is help out there if you need it. I want you to know that I personally have faith in you, even if you don't right now. You are an inspiration to many people here, me included. You've already shown how strong you are and how hard you're willing to work for your goals. I know this is just a temporary setback, and I'm guessing a lot of it was brought on by extra stress due to surgery and your routine being thrown off. As they say, this too will pass. I know you can get your mojo back, so please give yourself some grace. We're often our worst critics. I'm honestly just guessing based on your previous posts, but I'd think you're a very goal-oriented person. It might be beneficial to stop thinking "I need to get back on track". That's just too nebulous. Instead set yourself small, time-bound concrete goals. Only you can decide what those should be, but it might be as simple as "get at least 120 grams of lean protein tomorrow". Forget everything else that part of your personal idea about what "back on track" means and just work on that one small goal until it's become habitual. Only then, add in a new goal to work on. Just keep them small, easily attainable based on where you're at today, and make sure they have a time component such as my goal for tomorrow is..., or my goal this week is... you get the idea. If you need any help with diet or exercise as you work through this, please feel free to PM me and I'll do my best to help. Wishing you all the success in the world!

I post here for advice, encouragement and always get such uplifting/helpful comments. I just need this to get out to my bari-fam! I am 15months post op. I have done well, got down to my goal weight fairly quickly, made leaps on my fitness journey and just pretty proud of how far I have come. Lately, body dysmorphia is really rearing its ugly head and I am not dealing with it well. I am punishing myself with binge eating...All of April has just sucked a$$ for me. I am maintaining, continuing my workouts, my days are great then I go home at night, I grab a few chips, leads to some sweets, leads to some bread and butter, ect....do I eat a ton of it? No but I don't feel good when I eat it. Last week, I went on a week long drinking fiasco- I used to drink...a lot pre-surgery- Last night I ate Jack in the box tacos.. you know those disgusting delicious mini tacos and my feel like garbage today! I am letting my emotional eating get the best of me and I am struggling to get back. I woke up at 5 walked on my treadmill at 10incline 3.8speed but at the end of the day you cannot exercise a shitty diet. I wake up every single day and tell myself okay new day lets get back on track. And every single day I just cannot seem to get my ish together when I am at home. I am getting rid of all the bad snacks and getting everyone on the healthy train. I am trying and I am so terrified that I will get back to 300lbs again. Looking at the mirror, I see how big I am, I see the tummy, I see the hanging skin, I see everything negative when in reality I probably look fine. Not sure what I am looking for outta this post, but I needed to get it out and not hide my food struggles because I did that and it lead to me hiding food and getting up to 300lbs.

During my bariatric journey and I'm only one year postop I have learned that I do not force food in if I'm not hungry. I just don't eat. hunger fluctuates during the month one week I'm ravenous, one week I can eat OK, one week I cannot eat it's just I don't force it, but I think it's different strokes for different folks. I have heard people go back to some Hardy bone broths which are always yummy during those times.

I did keto a lot before surgery, it was vogue as we’ve all done a million diets in our lives... It works, but cravings. The preop and post diet are similar. Just way more liquids. For the fatigue and headaches, broth was the key. You would dehydrate rapidly and would suffer without the salt. The sugar detox is real, often once it passes you are a ton less Hungery. For those like me, and sugar can start the cravings. 100% agree with others who posted. It takes me about a full week for those to stop. Distractions help, exercise helps, just going to bed helps. I am always less hungry after mild exercise, mostly sweaty and thirsty. It helped stopped the food focus more than plain distractions. Heavy exercise increased the hunger the next day. This might sound crazy, but I had to constantly know when my next meal was. Lunch done, wait 2 hours then sugar free jello, then 1 hour and sugar free popsicle, then start to prep dinner, etc. knowing I was eating something in 1-2 hours helped. I tend to panic eat. Food was scarce as a kid and I tend to stuff myself if it’s not readily at hand and I’m hungry… my next meal is 3 bananas as fast a I can shove them in and I remain food panic triggered and have to talk myself down. I’m working through my hunger panic. I’m 100% not super thin now, I’m huge and need help… it’s why we are all here. :). To give and get support. And trying to not be a clean your plate club, eat any meal you are offered, all meals need a dessert, eat till you have pain and call that “full” kinda gal. I’d also make sure I got all of my sleep. I’m a 10 hour person. Plan a small exercise before you know your mega Hunger hits (I’m lunch). A 15 min walk helps divert my blood to my limbs and gets me craving fluids. Call your food what it is. A popsicle is a dessert. A pudding is a dessert. Sometimes reframing these help, ok in 2 hours I’m having protein pudding as a dessert, followed in 2 hours by a dessert popsicle. We are all different, so need different things. If after dinner I have a popsicle every night before bed, I call it dessert and I always know it’s coming and I will be getting more food… and I’m ok not being as full at dinner. This.. might have been too personal, but… helps me.

I did keto a lot before surgery, it was vogue as we’ve all done a million diets in our lives... It works, but cravings. The preop and post diet are similar. Just way more liquids. For the fatigue and headaches, broth was the key. You would dehydrate rapidly and would suffer without the salt. The sugar detox is real, often once it passes you are a ton less Hungery. For those like me, and sugar can start the cravings. 100% agree with others who posted. It takes me about a full week for those to stop. Distractions help, exercise helps, just going to bed helps. I am always less hungry after mild exercise, mostly sweaty and thirsty. It helped stopped the food focus more than plain distractions. Heavy exercise increased the hunger the next day. This might sound crazy, but I had to constantly know when my next meal was. Lunch done, wait 2 hours then sugar free jello, then 1 hour and sugar free popsicle, then start to prep dinner, etc. knowing I was eating something in 1-2 hours helped. I tend to panic eat. Food was scarce as a kid and I tend to stuff myself if it’s not readily at hand and I’m hungry… my next meal is 3 bananas as fast a I can shove them in and I remain food panic triggered and have to talk myself down. I’m working through my hunger panic. I’m 100% not super thin now, I’m huge and need help… it’s why we are all here. :). To give and get support. And trying to not be a clean your plate club, eat any meal you are offered, all meals need a dessert, eat till you have pain and call that “full” kinda gal. I’d also make sure I got all of my sleep. I’m a 10 hour person. Plan a small exercise before you know your mega Hunger hits (I’m lunch). A 15 min walk helps divert my blood to my limbs and gets me craving fluids. Call your food what it is. A popsicle is a dessert. A pudding is a dessert. Sometimes reframing these help, ok in 2 hours I’m having protein pudding as a dessert, followed in 2 hours by a dessert popsicle. We are all different, so need different things. If after dinner I have a popsicle every night before bed, I call it dessert and I always know it’s coming and I will be getting more food… and I’m ok not being as full at dinner. This.. might have been too personal, but… helps me.

My whole life I used to think that. Through my adulthood (age 19-29) I was in great shape, worked out regularly, ate well and maintained a great physique. I always had the propensity to gain weight if I wasn't careful with how I ate and my activity level. I lost over 45 lbs and kept them off through staying active and eating well and my belief was, if I could maintain being in shape doing that, anyone can. It worked for me through 2 pregnancies and a whole decade. Fast forward when my hormones got out of control, I gained 10 kilos in 1.5 months, my weight kept going up, had a bad sports injury and in 5 years I was 30 kilos overweight. I still ate well and worked out 5 times a week but NOTHING WORKED and by nothing, I mean NOTHING not even injectables, not one pound lost, NADA, Zilch. I counted calories, walked 10k steps ...etc. the whole shebang. I was sad, depressed, so uncomfortable and I finally got how sometimes, you try your hardest but it just doesn't happen for you. It was so ironic because I was seen as the health guru who lectured people on how they should work harder and not create excuses (hard pill to swallow, I admit). I finally decided to give in the fact that my weight isn't going to budge dieting and working out like it did in the past. I bit the bullet and got the surgery. I lost a lot of weight fast, but went back to working out regularly and staying consistent and disciplined, I wouldn't have been this successful (not with just the weight lost, but my actual physique, being lean and fit and all) had I just gotten the surgery and depended on it to achieve what I had in mind, I had (and continue) to put in the work, choose to prioritize eating well, etc. Yes the surgery is a tool to HELP you lose weight and BUILD good habits. It doesn't do the work for you in the long run ,that is on you and how you utilize this tool that will determine your success. I would however (very general advise), suggest that before resorting to surgery, that one does try to see how far they can get naturally, and if they can't maintain/fall off the wagon/don't get to their goal weight or physique that they do utilize WLS, but it has to come with a mindset shift. I had that mindset, I just needed the kickstart. Evaluate where your body and MIND is because that is as important.

I think it's a sad state of affairs when we feel like we have to hide our decisions from others because of how we know others will react. I'm not judging anyone that makes that choice since I did it too. I told my family, but specifically decided not to tell my co-workers since I was expecting people to say dumb things like this. The cheating comment I find specifically odd, personally. To me this was life or death, and I chose life. It definitely wasn't some game where the concept of cheating might be meaningful. I feel like it would be no different than if someone were to say to me that I "cheated" when I had open heart surgery. How could you even think that? My choices were either have the surgery, or die. As to weight loss surgery being "the easy way", as all of us here know there is nothing easy about this. Those of us that have reached our goal weights know that the surgery was just a tool, but the important change is what had to happen between my ears. Nothing about that was or is easy. It's still hard work every. single. day. I also wanted to comment on this: I can virtually guarantee you I eat better and workout harder than your son. I NEVER would have been able to workout as hard while I was still obese. It took losing almost 100 pounds before I could even really walk much. Now I run 40+ miles a week. It's hard for people that are not obese to understand just how hard even simple movement can be. Weight loss surgery was the catalyst that allowed me to be where I'm at today.

Its not easy, even I thought it would be easier than it was. I thought I was in the know too. Maintenance isn't easy. So they are not friends if they dont back you. I told my husband and son and my two besties from our ancient school days. I was backed by them. I told no one else until weight loss began to show. I only told three people who asked how I had done it and they were very obese too. The rest got the ' oh I have been walking a lot lately' or I stopped eating carbs. Judgers will always judge, its human nature. Wise words

Offer to be the designated driver. Nurse one glass for hours (did that a lot & still do it but for an hour or so now). Say you’re not really in the mood to drink. Or you have been fighting a headache all day & you don’t want it to come back. Or if you’ve realised you’ve been drinking a bit lately & decided to have a dry couple of weeks. They will notice your weight loss soon if not now so you could be semi truthful and say you’re making a few changes and trying to lose some weight. Whatever you decide to say add you’re glad to see them and to spend time with them & make sure they know you’re okay with them drinking or eating whatever they want.

I am seven weeks out from my gastric band. I am going out with my two friends who don’t know I’ve had the surgery. It has been booked a while in advance and it is a wine tasting evening, (which is my drink of choice). I want to go and it will look very obvious if I don’t drink!! Any advice? I know it should be six months, but I had a sneaky glass last week and was very careful so I know that my body seems to be able to handle it but then again I don’t want to send a slippery slope! Thanks in advance!!

I am now in my second week out of gastric bypass surgery, can’t wait to get to puréed stage. I have immediate family and close friends who basically told me that I am taking the “easy way” out or flat out say that I have not shown enough discipline in the past to be successful at weight loss. I haven’t shared that I’ve had this surgery with anyone else, friends, neighbors, colleagues because of this. I am feeling good about the surgery, I feel competent to succeed all by myself if necessary, but I was wondering if others have run to this barrier in support and if so, what they’ve said or done.

4 weeks in going to update the stats: SW: 262 CW: 254 GW: 200 Down 8 pounds in a month which I’m happy with. Hoping for similar results for the next month!

Some people tend to have more diarrhoea than constipation in the beginning. A friend did - she wore disposable knickers for a week after her surgery. It’s just one of those things we can experiences differently. It could be related to stomach acid (it takes a while for our body to realise we don’t need as much as we did because we’re not eating as much & the excess irritates the bowel). A PPI will help with this if you’re not on one. Could be a lactose intolerance. Some people develop an intolerance temporarily or for life after the surgery. Try a whey free shake if it might be this & see if it improves. Could also be your body excreting old blood from the surgery (especially if your poop is darker) or another way to excrete all the fluids. Or it could just how your body is reacting to the change to your digestive system until it gets used to the new system. If it persists check with your team though. All the best.

Hello, just found site and joined. I am on my 2 week pre op diet and surgery is on May 2nd, out patient. I have supplements, protein water, unflavored protein, 1 ounce, 2 ounce disposable containers obtained as well, scale and still trying to figure out the whole sips to intake at least 64 ounces of water, i currently drink over 124 ounces daily but again, not by sips but gulps, lol. will figure once i get to that stage. Just now we all got this! Karen

A lot depends on you and how you respond post surgery & how long you stay in hospital. I slept a lot & wasn’t interested in reading or watching anything I’d downloaded. Didn’t have an issue with dry mouth or lips but they were pumping me full of fluids. Best thing I did was bring my own shower gel, own pjs & general toiletries. Nothing felt as good as that first shower, smelling nice and putting on my pjs. Wear home what you wore to the hospital. Disposable knickers. The possibility of very sudden diarrhoea with no warning is a real possibility. Wish I knew to bring them. I got up to do a wee, took three or four steps and whoosh. There was no saving those knickers and needed a shower. Those medical grade laxatives are super strong too and increase the risk. A friend wore hers first a good week after: wet farts! Make sure you have your over the counter meds (non NSAIDs pain meds, gas X, stool softener, Imodium, etc.) ready at home before your surgery. I got the scripts the surgeon gave me filled at the hospital before I was discharged. Make sure you have a script for nausea and a PPI as well as any opioids the surgery gives you. A heat pad can be handy to help with the surgical gas shoulder pain. Stock up your shakes, bone broths, cream soups as you’re allowed in the post surgery liquid stage ready surgery. Be warned, you may find what you enjoyed before surgery you dint like after as your taste buds temporarily change & I had a textural issue too. I found shakes too sweet and grainy & bone broths too salty so have a variety. I slept in my bed in my usual twisted side position from night two. No need for a recliner or to sleep propped up. I was the same with my gall removal and hysterectomy so it’s a me thing and may not be something you can do. Didn’t have any issues getting in & out of bed or from chairs. Just go slowly. Actually just go slowly is good advice for your whole recovery (it takes a good 6-8 weeks to be fully healed). And walk. Little and often is fine. All the best for your surgery and hope you have an easy recovery.

Just to chime in to the original question posed by BrandiBird, yes, sometimes we hit a plateau and we must deal with that. If it goes on for a while, you may want to talk to your provider, and/or their dietician that you talked with prior to surgery. Plateau's happen now and again and you might not be doing anything wrong. Your body is adjusting to the new you that the surgery created. Try not to be down on yourself, and celebrate the little wins that you have every week, no matter how small or large it might be. And if you truly are depressed please seek some therapy, it is worth the cost to get someone who understands bariatrics. Wishing you well!!!

To everyone who has responded....thanks, lets keep in touch and get a good start to our journey. I look at this surgery as a new volume in my book, not a new chapter. I'm not looking back and I will be able to not only lose weight to feel better, but I will be able to get the much needed hip replacement. I'm due to have surgery on the 12th of May, signed my consents today, got my pre-op class done and met with the surgeon and he was quite pleased with my weight loss and my A1c both have gone down. I'm just as eager to get rolling on this new journey. What is next is the clear liquid diet a few days before surgery as they found I do not need to be on a liver reduction diet. I have my supplements as instructed, I have protein water for after surgery. We have 4 days of clear liquids only, then we can go on a soft diet, we don't have a puree, which is a blessing, I can't imagine eating chicken in a puree form, can't have meet until day 11. I'm taking this seriously, and will follow all the rules. I think I am more excited than anything for the 12th of May to come. Ealbers, you are right on track, let's get on with the journey. CJPom, you are first on the list being May 7th, let us know how you are doing post surgery. Jena, we will do this as a team, let's keep each other motivated!!! Congratulations to everyone! Every week, find a win other than is on the scale. Don't check your weight every day, it will fluctuate as your body adjusts and changes. Find other wins to celebrate, but don't stop celebrating. This is not just weight loss, but it is a metabolic shift in our bodies. Movement is important so let's keep walking. WendyJane

I echo all the above. Patience, you won't loose every week. You will stall a lot. Use the knowledge on this site. Ask anything and someone will have had that issue. Chapstick, laxatives and Biotin. Lack of liquids does terrible things to our bodies. Dry lips are bad. Waking with a dry mouth is scary. Going over a week without pooping is hurty.

just a note on BMR - I've heard this from both a former dietitian of mine and from a nutrition class I took a couple of years ago at UW-Milwaukee on obesity and weight loss, so it's likely true (seems to be the case with me, anyway...). It's very common for formerly obese people to need to eat 300-400 calories less per day than a person of the same height/weight/activity level who's never been obese in order to maintain their weight. So in other words (and I'm just pulling this example out of the blue), if a calorie calculator tells you that it takes about 1800 cal/day to maintain your weight, if you were formerly obese, that could mean that for you, it's probably more like 1400-1500 calories to maintain. That being said, I do agree with some of the others that you may be underestimating your calorie intake since I would think you'd be losing weight at that intake level. It might be helpful to cut back by about 100 cal/day for a couple of weeks and see if the scale starts moving again. if not, cut another 100 calories for a couple of weeks. Rinse and repeat until the scale starts moving. I've had to do this a few times to get things moving..

I agree with @SpartanMaker eating more might sound crazy but it works! Resistance training has completely transformed my body. I started incorporating it around 4–5 months post-op, and the weight started dropping like crazy. My body looked significantly better compared to when I was just doing cardio. Around 6–7 months post-op, I added 30 minutes of running at least 5 days a week, and at that time, I was eating between 2,100–2,300 calories daily. Even with that intake, I was losing weight and had actually dropped below my goal weight. I had to take a break due to surgery, and during that time my weight fluctuated upward—which was really frustrating. Even though I cut my calories and kept my macros on point, the scale wasn’t moving the way I wanted it to. But now that I’m back to resistance training (I’m not cleared to run yet), my weight is slowly trending back down again. I say try it! If you would like some guidance I have a few circuits that I do and has worked really well! I am happy to share ❤️

Getting back to the OP's question about what do do: If they really feel they are accurately logging and are also having a hard time eating less, then the option would be to take steps to increase metabolism. Yes, GLP-1 drugs can do this, but there are other options. First, would be adding muscle mass from strength training. Estimates are that each pound of muscle increases calories burned per day by roughly 6 calories, Each pound of fat contributes ~2 calories burned per day. This latter fact surprises some people, but fat is metabolically active tissue. It's just that muscle is more metabolically active. If someone were to gain ten pounds of muscle and lose ten pounds of fat, that would lead to an increase in BMR of roughly 40 calories. That doesn't sound like much, but it adds up over time. If you also add in EPOC (Excess Post-exercise Oxygen Consumption), from the strength training needed to add muscle mass, then I'd estimate this would over time lead to ~400-450 extra calories burned in a week. That would lead to a loss of ~6 pounds in a year even while eating the exact same amount of food. If this is not a sufficient amount, then one can always reduce calories a bit as well. Alternately (I know this will sound counter-intuitive), but the OP might well want to consider UPPING their calories a bit for a while. Our bodies were designed to upregulate our metabolisms slightly when calories are available and downregulate it when calories are scarce. This means our bodies can maintain weight at a wide range of calorie intake. If we're constantly in a calorie restrictive diet, our bodies do downregulate metabolism to keep us from what it perceives as starving to death. What I'd recommend instead is going up 200-300 calories per day for about a month. After this "diet reset", drop down again to 1200-1400 for no longer than 2 months before cycling back up again. You can keep this cycle going on indefinitely. One of 2 things will happen here. Most likely the OP won't gain anything during the increased calorie intake diet reset because their metabolism will increase to compensate. However, when they start back at the ~1300 calorie range, their metabolism may not drop immediately, meaning they'll lose a little bit in the following 2 months. If they do find that they gained during the diet reset, but fail to lose when back in the diet phase, then worst case it shouldn't be more than about 2 pounds (less than 1% of body weight). This isn't likely, but even if this does happen, it will at least tell us that 1300 won't work for weight loss for them and they'll need to go lower. I'd also be remiss if I didn't come back to exercise here. I mentioned that low levels of exercise (30 minutes of cardio), really are not going to do anything toward weight loss. It's obviously going to be different for everybody, but current research seems to suggest that the tipping point is about 400 calories per day. What I mean by that is if you can burn OVER 400 calories in exercise in a day, the body can't suppress your metabolism enough in other ways to keep you from going net-negative for the day. Said differently, you'd need to do something that burns more than 400 calories before it "counts" for weight loss and the only part that counts is the part above 400 calories. Unfortunately, 400 calories is A LOT for most people. The good news is the heavier you are the more you burn, but even at 215 pounds, you'd probably have to run over 3 miles to hit 400 calories. Keep in mind, this would just be to break even, so if you're actually trying to burn more calories this way, it will take even more. I'll use myself as an example here. I'm not trying to lose weight right now, but I have found that if I run over roughly 28 miles in a week, I tend to lose weight. If I run less miles, I maintain. Do the math, and for me that's right at about the 400 calories a day mark. In my use case of one, I'm pretty close to the statistical average as shown in the research. Best of luck whatever you decide.

Exactly on point and why it was a fit for me as I was in full menopause with my hormone changes basically stalling my metabolism. I haven't experienced my appetite suppression as other have but regardless, due to my particular medical needs, it's working for me 🙂 Also, as an endocrine nurse, I have found my personal experience during all this as an amazing way to connect with my patients who are facing similar challenges. Everything happens for a reason ❤️

Good morning. I'm not discounting anything SpartanMaker posted above. However, I was in the exact same boat as you. I was eating 1200-1400 calories, religiously measured/counted everything, plenty of water, I played with my macros till I was blue in the face and for 10 months I did not lose and I did not gain. I'm a nurse so I probably have more background in nutrition than most, so I'm confident in how I was eating was appropriate and what most providers would "recommend". In February I went to my two year follow up. My labs were perfect, my vitals on point and I had not lost one ounce since the last visit nearly a year prior. After having a long conversation with my bariatric provider, the only change since the losing stopped was I was pretty much into full menopause. We discussed options and ideas on how to "overcome" the hormone influencing my insulin processes that was affecting my metabalism hurdle I may possibly be facing. She said based on her research zepbound might be a great option as it also can help in reducing "hot flashes" which I was having twice a day, everyday. Long story short, even with my insurance, zepbound would have been around $700 a month, so I choose to do the my budget friendly compound tirzepatide route (the compound equivalent to zepbound) with my provider's blessing. I have been on the weekly injections for 6 weeks and have already been able to shed 19#. I have not ate any differently, no change in my physical activity AND the hot flashes are gone. I'm not suggesting this would be the answer you need, but it's been a game changer for my journey. Good luck ❤️

My surgery is May 7. I started the 3 week pre-surgery diet today. I've started purchasing the supplements needed for after surgery. Looking for those after surgery "must have's", besides the supplements.

It's been a while since I've been active on here, but I'm really struggling. Any advice or encouragement would be a huge help. 😥 Almost right at my year mark post-op, I stopped losing weight. My doctor said that I should still be losing 1-2 pounds a week. Around this time I was eating 1400-1500 calories, so they recommended I scale back to 1200. I try to eat whole, unprocessed foods about 80% of the time, I still track what I eat, count my calories, prioritize protein, and exercise 4-5 times a week for 30 minutes (usually cardio, but I do resistance train, just not faithfully). I am eating 1200-1400 calories a day, and I'm struggling so bad. My weight sits somewhere between 211 - 219, depending on water retention, my cycle, travel, stress, etc, and it really hasn't changed since I saw my doctor last. I would love to try the GLP-1 class drugs to see if that could help, but my insurance doesn't cover it, so that's not an option. I'm really depressed over this, which I know doesn't help things. I feel like I've worked so hard, and I've just barely gotten halfway there. Now I'm terrified I'll start gaining weight again, and I've caught myself obsessing over my eating to the point it's feeling disordered and mentally unhealthy. Has anyone else had this struggle? If so, what helped you - either with losing more weight, or just coping with being at a plateau? 😭