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Hi everyone! I was just planning out my strategy for the coming Christmas dinners, lunches, brunches and thought I'd share. Maybe you guys have some tips to share as well! 1. Learning flexible control Problem We're used to thinking in black and whites. Good food and bad food. On-the-diet or off-the diet. Thoughts like 'oh well, since I already ate X, I may as well give up on my diet' are probably familiar to us. Solution This year, I'm going to eat beyond my calories, but not far beyond my calories. I'm not going to be counting, actually. I'm going to taste a little bit of everything, and stop when I feel satisfied. 2. Me first Problem "People expect me to be eating what they eat / I can't handle questions about how I eat / I will disappoint my Aunt if I don't eat this or that ..." Solution My body, my eating: I'm going to compliment the food I get, and in general take charge of the situation. I won't be hoping nobody notices I eat way less than the rest of the family, I'm eating how I want to eat and that's it. In general, I'm going to remind myself my eating is for my body. Their eating is for theirs. People who seem confident don't get second-guessed. Fake it 'till you make it. 3. Answering all the questions Problem People asking about my weight loss, commenting if I shouldn't put on some weight, judging bariatric surgery. Solution I'm going to be my own PR agent; and I'm coming prepared with answers. My answer to "how did you lose the weight?" is 'I fixed my mental relation to food first, then had bariatric surgery, and life has never been better, so happy with how I did this' is my prepared answer in a family setting. It sounds well-planned (and it was, btw) and doesn't open up a can of new questions. Rather it inspires co-celebration and I expect lots of 'good for you!' kinds of answers. Again, a confident attitude doesn't open attack lanes. My answer to "I think bariatric surgery is the easy way out" will be a question in return; "I don't know a lot of people who lost more than 100 lbs and kept it off without metabolic surgery, do you?" My answer to "oh but can't you drop the diet for a day and enjoy eating with your family like we do?" will be "I'd love to be here sharing a family meal in 20 years, too, so I'm not too focused on eating a certain amount, I'm focused on eating what's right for me" with a smile to make it less confrontational. However, a question like that warrants a certain amount of back off! in the reply. In general, see 2. I'll happily taste everything. I will eat however much or little I feel like, though. And it's okay to be a little on guard in our situation, we're still getting the hang of things. 4. Coming prepared Problem Finding myself without any options to eat something I'd like to eat. Solution Avoid setting myself up for failure: I'm stocking up the car on sugar-free chocolate, popped cheese, Quest protein chips, instant protein oatmeal and some fruit. If I'm hungry, I'm hungry, and then I need to eat. I don't want to chance it and find myself in a situation where I "have to" eat something I don't want to eat. I can eat whatever I want, in smaller amounts, but I'd like to have options. 5. Pre-forgiving myself Problem What if I end up eating 2,800 calories and washing that down with 1,200 calories worth of dessert wine? Solution The only way this will truly be a problem is if it means I'm back in beating myself over the head with it-land. If this happens, it was probably because it was a really fun night, the food was amazing, and hey, the upside to Auntie Liz' drinking problem is she brings awesome French dessert wine. Better help her drink that and move on with life the next day as planned. What do you guys do to fly through the holidays? Merry Christmas!

Congrats!! Love your attitude. I relate with much of what you wrote. Agree that the constant hunger makes it pretty difficult to cut calories before surgery. Curious, how did you decide on your goal weight, and then wanting to lose more after that? I am getting close to my lightest weight as an adult (which happens to be the same weight my surgeon predicted I’d get down to). But I would still be considered overweight at that point, so perhaps going down to a BMI below 25 should be goal?

Oh yeah, my metabolism was well & truely wrecked from decades of literally starving myself to try to lose or maintain. That has been a bonus of this surgery: a metabolism that actually works again. I’m truely surprised by how much food I eat to maintain my weight now which would have resulted (& did) in weight gain at my much higher weight pre surgery. I am still a believer of calories in & calories out (not that I’m a regular calorie counter by any stretch of the imagination) but temper it with the calories in are what your individual body needs to function. No one’s body is exactly the same as another’s & therefore our bodies have different caloric needs & we process the nutrients we need from the food we consume differently so we also have different nutrients requirements. That’s why one diet/style of eating will work for someone but not for someone else. It’s why so many of us advocate you discovering what works for you. That’s a benefit of this forum, lots of ideas, suggestions, experiences from which you can start to develop your eating style from people who truely understand the struggle.

I'm close to 4 weeks out and I was told by my nutritionist no more that 800 calories. I barely make that sometimes. I can't imagine 1100 calories right now. I be sick. Nannette

I have similar kinda profile though low calories for now because of the full fluid phase. I just spoke to my dietician today and I think she's okay with my Carbs and fats profile. On our program, we have to get all our proteins from whole foods and since I am vegetarian, most of it comes from dairy products like milk, yogurt and cottage cheese. And dairy products come with good amount of carbs. Hence my carbs and protein profile looks more or less similar. Because no protein powder, I think my carbs won't be as low as other programs. So hopefully it works for me as I continue with similar trend.

Thank you!!!! 💛💛💛💛I actually never thought that eating would ruin my weight loss. I would love to eat more. I’m honestly not hungry at all. I haven’t begin to feel hunger yet. I have to set alarms to eat. My surgery team told me that I don’t have to eat more, just make a few tweaks to what I am eating. For instance, adding peanut butter to my apple sauce or yogurt to get the calories up. Or adding low fat Mayo to my tuna instead of just eating it with a little pepper. I do eat 5-6 times a day. I think when I’m completely healed, I might start to feel hunger and be able to get more in.

My program didn't have any guidelines on fat or carbs, other than to limit saturated fats and to eat whole grains. Well, I eat a lot of cheese and dairy, so I am not great on the saturated fat! I don't eat a lot of whole grains because after I eat a few ounces of protein and a little bit of veggies, I'm completely stuffed. I do eat a fair amount of beans and nuts, both of which have carbs. I also eat fruit, which is high in carbs... but fruit is like the best thing ever! I just looked at MyFitnessPal and for two days ago (yesterday was an aberration; I ate EVERYTHING) I ate about 850 calories including 61 g of protein (low for me), 84 g carbs, and 39 g fat. The day before that I ate about 800 calories including 93 g protein, 48g carbs, and 42g fat.

Congratulations on your fabulous weight loss! Yes, it's important to get enough calories, even though we feel like when we eat we're "ruining our surgery" sometimes. I hope you have continued success and that the changes you are making with eating more and the B12 injections will improve your energy.

it depends on the program. Some surgeons want people on a low-carb diet, so if you have one of those, you'll probably have to count carbs. Other programs are more balanced, so you don't have to count carbs (mine was one of the latter). I don't know of any programs that have you track fats. Most seem to want you to focus on protein and fluids. most programs don't have you count calories the first few months. Most of us aren't eating enough to matter until we get a ways out. I do count calories now and have been since I was about a year out, much to my dietitian's chagrin (she hates it when people focus on calories - she like the "intuitive eating" model and keeps insisting I try it - but I'm afraid I'd intuitively eat my way up to 300 lbs again...)

Hello everyone!!!! It has officially been 1 month since I I went gastric bypass. I am currently down 32lbs. On my surgery date 11/23/2021 I was 276lbs. Today I am 244.6 lbs. This month is been CRAZY. Especially the last week or so. I’ve been extremely week, but speaking with my RN and dietician we determined I’m not getting enough calories and I am in ketosis. I will be speaking with my surgeon today as well just to see if there is anything else that he would add. Besides the lack of energy, I feel pretty good. I had an issue with acid reflux, but a little Prilosec and zofran cleared that right up. I also have been put on monthly B12 injections. Just giving a one month update. 💛💛💛💛

It really depends on what stage you're in and your surgeons guidelines. Every program is different. At a month out I was getting around 400-600 calories a day and my nutritionist allowed 10% of your calorie intake for carbs (not in counting net carbs. She said count the whole carbs NOT net carbs). Now that I'm almost 2 years out and almost in maintenance I eat around 1300-1600 calories a day (the latter bit is on bad days) and I'm allowed 30% carbs, but I try and keep it to 10%. Fat, I didn't and still don't count. I just get low fat or no fat stuff.

Sorry for multiple topics last couple of days 😂 Just trying to get hang of this new lifestyle, so thank you for answering my questions and concerns. This time around it's about fats and carbs. So my dietician didn't mention anything on calories, fats or even carbs. Calories understandable since it seems positive not to focus too much on it. But there aren't any instructions on carbs or fats. Do you guys have similar guidelines? Or does your program have a cap on net carbs and fats one is allowed in a day?

My surgery was 12/13. I am still on liquids until next Monday. I was initially king of bummed that I would be on liquids through the holidays but now I see the blessing it has been. My office has chocolate everywhere. We had chicken wings for lunch and I came home to a house smelling of sugar cookies from my family baking all day. If I was not confined to liquids, I know there would be a lot of “tastes” that would add up to a lot of calories.

At 2 months out, they wanted me at 1000 calories. I just had my four-month appointment, and they told me at 6 months, I should be at 1200-1400 calories a day. Once I started hitting 1000/cals consistently (which just happened a few weeks ago) the weight just started falling off again after a serious slow down in the weeks prior.

If you mean calorie wise no you haven’t blown it all or anything like that. I am 8 months out and have had pizza, pasta, bread and even chocolate. I only had them once to see if I could tolorate them but I did have them and it didn’t blow anything. I am about ten pounds from goal right now. Obviously you don’t want to have them everyday for a prolonged period of time but the serving size you are eating right now is so small anyways that the calories are restricted by that.

I had surgery on 11/10/20, but started my weight loss efforts on 7/5/20. If you’ve been here a while I’m sure you’ve seen me lurking about the forums. Stats: SW 339. CW: 165. I am a 5’10 woman in her 40s. I work full time and have young children. My current BMI is 23, I started off with it closer to 50. I knew it was going to take me a while to hit goal- I had 174 lbs to lose. I did all the calculators pre-op that said I would be lucky to get under 200 lbs, but I decided that just wasn’t going to apply to me (haha). My plan was to focus on fruits, vegetables, and healthy proteins while ramping up exercise. I eliminated cookies, pastries, and candy but that’s about it. I don’t do low carb, because that isn’t how I’m planning on living the rest of my life. I focus on calorie reduction, which sounds like oh if that’s so easy why did you need surgery? Well cutting calories is possible if you aren’t hungry all the time no matter how much you eat, and if you can fill up on the healthy things without it being like flash paper into a volcano. I honestly did need the surgery, and I’m not going to pretend it did the work for me, but it gave me the help for the work I wanted to be able to do. Six days a week I do a split between running and rowing for a half hour. I’m going to run in a 5k this spring, which has been a dream of mine for years. I exercise on my lunch break every day. Yes, I have some loose skin. It’s nowhere as bad as people make it out to be. I am not exactly planning on running around in a bikini so it’s not like it limits my life at all. It’s not visible in my clothes, not even tight fitting ones. I might get it removed some day, but if I don’t I’ll still be happy. This weight loss has been the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me. Life is difficult when you are morbidly obese. It’s difficult physically, emotionally, and socially. This weight loss hasn’t fixed every problem in my life, but I didn’t expect for it to. It fixed my weight related problems, and I had a lot of them. This surgery can be life changing, but it’s not a magic bullet. You still have to make huge life changes. But if you feel sabotaged you your own constant hunger, cravings, and binges, this can really be the tool you use to dig yourself out of the seemingly insurmountable weight you need to lose. This isn’t a finish line for me. I am still working on hopefully losing another 15 lbs, and I’m never going back to my old eating habits. I know I signed up for a lifelong change, otherwise I’ll be right back where I started. But finally hitting goal was a nice early Christmas present to myself. Sorry for the essay, but I don’t really have anyone in real life to share with who gets it!

Thank you all so much. This is the kick in the pants I needed. I got some little containers at the market yesterday and have "packed" my meals and snacks for today. I really like the mentality of planning ahead so I can "succeed" in managing hunger. Also, @MiniGastricBypassDude, you called it on the calories. I left my MyFitnessPal calories at 700 (from when I first had surgery) and had never updated them. Of course I got frustrated with myself for "running out of calories" by dinner... and then I stopped tracking. Also, the snacking (just a few raspberries... three chips...) needs to become more disciplined, so I will keep on with my little containers. After the holidays I will schedule a DXA scan. There are a few providers around here that should be able to help (in the $100-200 range, which is doable). Will let you all know how it goes. Appreciate the input!

An option for a low cost, high protein low fat meal during your rough patch can be canned tuna, chicken or salmon. I put the tuna and chicken with a teaspoon of mayo and 2 teaspoons of greek yogurt with some onions, celery etc. It is really satisfying as a meal, very high protein, and only about 150 calories.

I lost 1 pound for week 6. I have about 800 calories a day. I tried ground beef for the first time this week and it didn’t give me any problems. I hope everyone is doing well!

That's the scary part, isn't it. And I am sure it's the case for everyone here. All of us have dieted for years or even decades and have ultimately ruined our metabolism. I am sure many have experienced how they can survive on low calories and after having metabolism affected, high calories become a living nightmare. I personally have experienced the same. And it isn't surprising to see such results in the study. And I do agree low calories do affect your body in a very complex fashion. I had done Dr. Bernstein's diet. And that diet (around 500 calories a day) had wrecked my body for over a decade. It's only now I have up and decided surgery it is for me. Anyhow, for me personally, I am petrified of going beyond 1200 calories cuz of my past experiences. I don't even know how I can lose weight if I go over 1200. So yeh, this calories fear will always be there. And not sure how it'll work for me in future. Let's see what calorie count I hit at in my 1st month of soft/regular diet phase.

No, it's worse in a way. They followed the contestants from The Biggest Loser and measured that even when they regained all their weight, they still burned more than 700 calories a day less than prior to being on the show. Meaning: if you starve your body, it responds by using every calorie more efficiently. Or - if you have dieted enough, your daily burn will be lower, even when you regain. There's a hypothesis gaining support that people who spend a year+ after surgery on extremely few calories (600-700 a day or whatever) end up having to maintain on 1000 calories a day. And we all know how that would work for most people (some manage, though). The alternative thinking involved in this is 'what if people *still* lose all the weight on 1200 or 1400 calories a day, will they then be able to maintain on a higher calorie level?'. All things equal, that would make it easier to maintain long-term. Again, nobody has the right answer here. What we do know is this: it's not just calories in- calories out. The body is a highly complex system.

Sorry what did you mean by that? As in body can sustain on 700 cals/day efficiently? And thanks for the advice, I'll definitely go based on how my body reacts. I am not planning to cut down on any specific food group as long as I can tolerate it. Though I also want to make sure I don't overshoot the calories intake. Let's see, may be I'll have a better idea once I am in my phase 3, which is in about 6 days. Full fluid phase - 2 weeks over and only lost about 3 pounds on it lol. 12 pounds came off from the clear liquid phase. So it's all weird how body reacts to different phases. One more weeks of full fluids and almost 1 month post-Op.

I'd commit to tracking for a few days, with one caveat: usually when we "can't" find the time to track, it's not the actual time. It's because we told ourselves to stay at X calories, but some other part of us knows it isn't realistic, so ... we don't track. Maybe this doesn't apply to you. Whatever calorie goal you have, up it by 50%. And then track. We tend to over-correct things, try not to. The opposite of 'snacking all day' isn't 'only eat 3 approved meals'. It's having a real conversation with yourself about what you need. I need to have plenty calories left for the evening. It's just how I work. So I plan for it, eating half my calories before 5pm, the other half after. Sometimes it doesn't work like that, but that's the general pattern. The people who can eat dinner at 6pm and then not eat until the next day? Good for them! It's just not something that works for me. Back to you: you took up sports, that's an amazingly positive health decision! Maybe it's time to talk to a therapist with experience in eating issues?

It's actually interesting, and while I definitely benefited from a calorie goal (and from it being high, comparatively), I think this will be the future of bariatric surgery. I've been sponging up so many scientific studies on this area, because I am a huge nerd when it comes to things that concern myself. I want to know it all. And it does seem like bodies ... end up where they're supposed to end up (with some variation, mind you) after surgery. No matter the program. What seems to differ is the regain. And this might be where portion sizes and types of food come in, rather than calories. Maybe our bodies adapt to whatever diet we put it on while going to our new set point? The Biggest Loser study from Harvard is pretty shocking in that regard (bodies can get +700 cals/day more efficient - that's a problem if you want to keep the weight off - it's not just calories in, calories out). Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how it goes for you! And don't go ultra low on food just because you can - that'd be my advice. I had tremendous success so far, and I've had a lot more calories than most here.

Thanks everyone for the feedback. After my dietician's appt today and discussion on phase 3, seems like they aren't very calories centric and want us to focus on getting the needed proteins and sticking to the recommended serving size for various food items. It's all listed out for us. So, focus will be on getting protein first and fluids and then the rest. Hope, things roll well on the provided recommendations.