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@ms.sss I’m torn. It’s hard seeing myself as tiny. And thinking of wearing something that might draw attention. I live in a retirement community with my mom. I’ve lived most of my life overweight, fighting my weight, living with chronic illness and disability that only gets worse. I try to see the positive in what the surgery has given me. Something I never really had before. Some parts are still loose my knees are a bit weird. I’m not in a good place lately. I’m not depressed just not sure where I am in life. Not something I can talk about on a public forum. anyway. My measurements are 32” bust 25.5” under bust (bra band) I’d need a 28 bra size - 24” waist (I ever in my life imagined having a waist that size) 33.5” hips 16.5-17” thigh My one leg is at least half an inch smaller on the left side. My entire left side is smaller due to some aspect of my medical conditions. I haven’t bought a swimsuit I don’t know when I could go in a pool. I haven’t thought about it. My body doesn’t much like chlorine. im in a trap between people wanting me to be happier with the results of the surgery and me not knowing what my reaction is supposed to be or how I am supposed to feel. I’ve never seen myself as feminine or attractive for the entirety of my life. But like I said it’s just not things you discuss on a public forum. Is it tied to my being on the autism spectrum. Maybe. My childhood. Maybe. My chronic Illness. Maybe all those things. It just is what it is. sorry. I wish I had normal answers. It does surprise me to see the results. Maybe at some point when the last bandages come off I’ll process it better. I’m not sure ... the lowest my weight ever got was 2009 124lbs and I followed a strict low carb low calorie way of eating but it didn’t stay there. A few weeks it settled at 134lbs and stayed. Fast forward and eventually got to where I was still following the way of eating but my weight skyrocketed (again) and my gallbladder went to crap and I sought out gastric bypass surgery. I never thought I’d ever reach goal let alone this goal. when opportunity came to possibly have plastic surgery I grabbed it because I knew if I didn’t, it wouldn’t happen at all ...

i was watching your vid and i kept thinking.... OMG, her skin is so beautiful

Whew this chart just made me feel a lot better. I felt like I was loosing slow as well. I will be 5 weeks post op this Wednesday and I’m down 28 pounds.

For all of you losing a bit more slowly, just keep on keeping on! For reference, I am almost 47 years old and 5’8” tall. Gastric Bypass on 7/6/20 HW: 265 SW: 249 CW: 233; 16 pounds in about one month post op. Feeling good. Clothes fitting better and some too loose. About 600 kcal/day. 55-75 G protein per day. Excited to keep this going! ps. I only lost about 5 pounds in the first two weeks. If you have a slow start, don’t worry. Just stick with the plan and keep going. 😊

Thank you so much for your reply, Arabesque, it really means a lot! I never meant to imply that wanting to look better was totally superficial. I know that a lot of it stems to our mental health. When you look good, you feel good. I had actually gotten to a point with that fat acceptance that I was in, that I bought a bunch of new clothes, kind of “throwing in the towel” about weight loss and “accepting my fate,” so to speak. So I wanted to have cute blouses, and cute pants that fit me well, instead of always having clothes cutting into me or making me chafe, or anything else. I even bought some dresses! I never really wear dresses (though it helps my autoimmune skin condition (hidradenitis suppurativa), because jeans cause a lot of friction if they aren’t the right size!). What I meant when I said that I was looking for people beyond the motivation of “looking good,” I meant that my husband’s doctor once tried to motivate him to lose weight by saying “You’ll look good,” and I don’t feel like that’s always an appropriate motivation. I mean, for some people, sure. It just wasn’t a motivator for me and my husband. I love and accept my body no matter what size it is, even if I “look good” as a thinner person, or I “look good” as a fatter person. If you know what I mean. Haha. Also, I never believed people when they made “the easy way out” comments. I always thought to myself, I don’t know, they generally say when you can avoid surgery, you should...and people opt to do this, it must be life changing enough, and significant enough, or else it wouldn’t exist as a practice. When my doctor suggested it, I thought for a moment about how people say that it’s the “easy” way...and immediately dismissed it when I kept doing research. Nothing about weight loss is easy, period. But to do surgery for weight loss seems even more of a difficult road to travel, and if you aren’t prepared for it, it’s going to be a disaster. I am so glad to hear that you (and your friends) have not been the types to hate yourselves. I just see so many posts on Instagram where people declare “I hated myself back then,” or “God I look so ugly, why can’t I lose weight,” or any other negative self-talk. It took me so long to get over that constant negative self-talk, and I worried about how I would fare going into this surgery. Would I look back and claim I hated myself or my body? Because I don’t. I think this surgery is going to be the greatest gift I can give to myself and my body. Anyway, I’ve gone on long enough, but I just wanted to say thank you again for your very thoughtful reply. It means a lot. I’ve been struggling with even keeping on my weight loss track for pre-op weight loss (I’ve only gained about 1.5 pounds, so I’m still doing good, but I need to get back into gear!). Just to hear someone say a lot of positive and encouraging things is helping me not to do late night snacking tonight and instead drink plenty of water before bed! Take care!

It took me a long time to get where I am. A long backstory, I’ll try to make it brief. All my life it was implied that in order to lose weight, you must hate yourself for motivation. “I hate my thighs,” “if only I were thinner boys/girls would like me better.” And it didn’t help hearing phrases like “You have such a pretty face, but...” I grew up in an abusive home with a narcisisitic mother, this isn’t a huge part of it, but it explains a lot about why I hated myself in my childhood, teen years, and even my early 20s (I’m 38 now). I always struggled to fit in with anyone because I was always the fat girl. The few people I could relate to, I’ve stuck with throughout the years. A few good friends, my husband, etc. I’ve tried to explain to people that have never battled their weight in the way that I have since 3rd grade (mom put me on my first diet then), and they don’t get it. Or try to offer tired advice, “have you just tried to lose weight?” So I never fit in anywhere. I hated how every attempt to lose weight was peppered with thoughts of self hate, suicidal thoughts, depression, and severe anxiety. I’d fall off the wagon and either binge myself to near vomiting, or I’d restrict myself obsessively and worry about every macro- and micronutirent. That was until I started therapy in 2013. I started to learn a lot about myself, and that I’m nothing like my mother. I always feared I’d be a parent like her, or a wife like her. Truly abusive, and it brought on a lot of fear. Eventually I stumbled my way into the Intuitive Eating groups on the internet. I learned to stop binge eating, and to stop obsessing over food. I also found the body positivity group. This was great. I finally got to a point that I was not only ok in my skin, but I could be happy and fat at the same time. There’s this concept out there that most people that are fat absolutely hate themselves and we have no self control. While on the flip-side there’s also this concept that people are “fat, happy, and lazy.” I found that I was aware that I was fat, I kept getting movement, tried to eat healthy most of the time, and I learned to love who I am regardless of my size. Then my hiatal hernia got worse and my gastroenterologist suggested I look into bariatric surgery. I never really thought about it before. I didn’t think negatively about it, or positively...I just flat out didn’t think about it. When people said it was “the easy way out,” I just ignored them because I didn’t have any frame of reference. I knew one person that died a few months after a “stomach stapling” in the late 80s, but I was a kid and don’t remember any details. However, even as a child, I knew that wasn’t always the case, people die from so many different causes, and this could have been a fluke. My point here being it never really scared me. It was just something that some people did, no judgement, never. I joined in on following some people on Instagram that have had various bariatric surgeries. I’m finding that I don’t fit in, again. People post before and after photos and talk about how horrible their lives were, how much they hated themselves, and how much they wish they “never let themselves get that bad.” Demonizing obesity and making me feel like I should be revolted at myself. Now, it took 7 years of therapy to get to the point of self body acceptance...so for this reason, I’m feeling conflicted, and like I won’t fit in with most of the weight loss surgery group of folks. So here’s why I’m making this topic. If you are someone that loved themselves before this surgery, loved themselves during recovery, and love themselves now... Didn’t necessarily do this surgery because you “hated” yourself, but more because of the health aspect of everything (I’m doing it because of my high blood pressure, body limitations (I can’t even touch my feet anymore), hiatal hernia and GERD problems)... My motivations are a little different than just “looking good.” I want to point out here too, that I’m not here to shame anyone that has been motivated by that, the desire to “look good” more over the desire to “feel good” (and I get that you can have both!)...but I just struggle with feeling like I don’t fit in with the WLS community in despising myself before surgery. Did you ever struggle with where your place was in the weight loss surgery community? This is why I’ve fallen silent on the forums (and a little on my IG if you follow me there). I was looking to do some soul searching as to what this all meant for me, but I feel I need some guidance. And if you made it all this way, thank you so much for reading. Take care.

I did my weekly weigh-in today and I've gained 2 lbs. Not real, stuck on the hips pounds because in order to gain 2 real pounds in a week I'd have to have eaten 1000 calories a day, every day, over my calorie expenditure, which I didn't do. What I did do is eat a lot of Asian recipes this week. All are high in sodium, so I suspect I'm holding on to some water weight, but I wanted some strong flavors after yogurt, egg salad, and cottage cheese these past weeks. So I broke out the fish sauce, soy sauce, and made some quick cucumber pickles. Everything was delicious. I tried half a toasted English muffin, seemed to sit well. I haven't vomited at all, or dumped. Maybe I'll escape that. I am walking 5000+ steps a day and I will add some yoga and squats I think. I still feel like I'm wearing a corset, a tightness under the skin. It's odd but not painful. My incisions have all healed and the scab from the hole where the drain exited has finally fallen off. I still get some odd pains here and there, mostly around my belly button. I am taking a 750mg psyllium capsule each morning and have not had a problem with constipation despite falling short of my 64 oz fluid goal a couple of days this week. And best of all, still no GERD, no regurgitation, and I started swallowing full size pills without a problem this week. I have a telephone appt with the surgeon's office on Friday and I hope I can stop taking omeprazole then.

I have been planning gastric sleeve for a few years. I took nutrition classes and did a lot of reading, but due to Covid it has been put on hold since April. Then pretty suddenly the doctor’s office called and scheduled it one week out. I jumped on it, but now I feel unprepared. Like I cheated somehow. there are no in person support groups right now. I know to during at least 70 ounces of protein a day from my shakes and water with a tiny bit of juice in it. I feel OK, like others said, It was nice with the pain pump, but the pills have been OK. I have this strange feeling like I should be working out a lot, or hating the food I eat. I feel like I should be suffering a lot more, like I have in the past when trying to loose weight. I have an ominous feeling of impending doom, like I’m not punishing myself or I’m not trying hard enough. I don’t want to get near the scale. The scale and I have had many issues in the past. So Is this it? For the next 2 weeks I just drink shakes ?

Hope all is well with everyone. I’m deal with some things. Not necessarily related to my surgery. I can’t remember if I said that I’m not sure but one thing I think that helped with post op swelling (besides compression stockings) was Garden of life Turmeric gummy supplements. I also took my usual Garden of life whole food based gummy multivitamin, natures way hair skin and nails formula gummy, plant based omegas I added extra Biocell collagen and antioxidants. of course it can take 4-6 months to a year to see the true results (Something like that) it is still a bit unreal to me. I haven’t looked at the big picture yet. I don’t see myself as small. I struggle with body dysmorphia and sometimes it’s a battle between chronic health issues and wow my stomach really is flat I’ve never had an actual flat stomach ... I will be honest also and say I sleep in my Faja though I haven’t quite figured out the Faja and underwear thing I mean you can’t wear them under the Faja but it’s too weird to not have anything with the open crotch. Especially wearing dresses. 🤣 The open incision on my left T incision (thigh lift) is finally getting closer to being closed. I had a protruding swollen “fat cell” which is what usually fills an open incision in secondary wound healing. it was keeping the incision from closing. And a blood blister next to it. It was swelling and also two small areas in the incision had some small blood pockets. Not to be TMI but I snipped and drained the swelling of built up blood in the “fat cell” and pressed it hard to push it into the incision and the “blood blister” next to it was the likely culprit I found a suture in it and drained it and cleaned it the best I could. Afterward It looked better and I could see the incision has nearly closed. I just have to monitor for any internal swelling. I haven’t mentioned it to my surgeon since it’s the weekend and I don’t want to be an annoyance. I’ve learned to take care of things myself most of the time. Even had my surgery been in the same state I’d have been doing the same thing ... The open incision on my backside (coccyx or whatever you call it) the stress point, it’s no longer a hole not healed yet but getting there. A couple of incision points need to heal more. Considering my immunodeficiency part of me expected some complications but in a way these were small compared to ones I’ve seen online. Especially for thigh lifts if the surgeon is removing more than just skin. I’m surprised at how smooth some parts of the incisions are. I’m not worried about scars. Though I think I’ll notice a few little things down the line ... like behind my knees, my calves, the incision on my inner thigh in pictures I take for wound care checking has an odd angle to my inner thigh. But One difficult thing for me is I’ve never seen myself as pretty and I’m not happy with my face maybe it’s loose skin. And maybe I just won’t ever see myself that way. I actually bought a article of clothing I never thought I would. A romper. For when the incisions are healed enough for the last bandage to come off. And I get up the nerve to wear it. I’ve Been wearing dresses since they are easiest but very casual ones. Since I’m mostly home except when I venture out for errands. I actually bought a girls size large dress at Target (Under $4) and was surprised it fit. My mom wanted a picture to show a friend. Sigh 😔 I hate my face. It’s still a bit unreal that I had three surgeries June 15th ... sorry for babbling.

I consider/considered myself to have thick legs as well (even when I was not obese). First pic is just before WLS, second pic is more or less at goal weight. Last pic is after a tummy tuck. The weight loss did make my legs smaller overall, but I still have thicker than “normal” calves for my size (which I always had, anyway) as well as some skin-drapiness in the upper thighs. The tummy tuck, however, had an unexpected side benefit of smoothing my thighs out some as they yanked the skin upwards. If you are younger and have good genes, you will likely fare much better.

From the knees down, it's OK, but my thighs are jiggly and loose and there's a couple of creased skin wrinkles on my inner thighs. It really doesn't bother me that much.

I've always had big legs. My dad said that our family doesn't have legs, they have tree trunks. <love the name by the way>. My legs were one of the first places I really noticed my weight loss and they have slimmed to the point I have a little bit of a thigh gap. The breeze in my nether regions can be a little unsettling. Sorry if that's TMI, but if any group can understand, I"m sure this group can. I'm a bit lumpy/bumpy from the knees up. I wouldn't say I'm Shar Pei material, but it's jiggly and loose, especially in my inner thighs where I used to have "chub rub." From the knees down, I've slimmed. I still have bigger ankles and would never be able to wear an anklet, but not the stumps/cankles I once had. In fact, I can actually see the definition of my ankle bones these days. Huge improvement.

Well I've lost alot of width/circumference off my legs and my shoe size even went down a whole size... My legs were always big but still had muscle because obviously takes muscles to carry my obese body... Now my legs are much smaller but no skin issues there...

Okay, so I have a strange request... and I completely understand if this is too weird. So here goes... I have enormous legs, always have, hence the user name. I am starting to freak out about saggy skin and envisioning my current extra leg skin looking like a shar pei around my ankles once I get to goal. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take shar pei ankles over being in my current obese body... I am just wondering what other large leg ladies look like after WLS.😊

Does anyone have issue with loose bowl movements with the protein shakes? It’s almost like dumping syndrome.....

she must have meant temporarily. I had to gradually reintroduce fruits and vegetables - for example, I know I wasn't supposed to eat fruit that had seeds or skins - or any raw vegetables - for several weeks because my stomach was still healing. Check with a dietitian.

Hello😊 I'm still in the liquid diet faze and i am extremely excited to start this journey, my surgery is in a couple days; but honestly all i can think about is the fact that when i lose all this weight my body will be completely different... yes i will be thinner... but what about all the saggy skin after, as well as my boobs what will happen to them... i am single right now and i dont have any kids... but im scared of the future, how will everything look feel, be after all this. I am a confident person for the most part and never had issues with guys... but dating post weight loss scares me... ANY ADVICE ?

---Update 7/30/2020--- Thank you for checking in on me. I was released from the hospital on 7/17, six days after they placed the chest tube. I spent four of those days with the tube in my chest. They went through a process of putting two different liquid drugs, one at a time, through the tube back into my chest. They let them sit for an hour each and then drained them back out. They did this round the clock on three hour intervals. From what I understand they drained the free flowing liquid from my chest at first, then they found this thicker gunk remained behind. They went through this process of backfilling the medicines into my chest to liquify the the thick stuff so it could drain out. I never got an answer as to what the stuff was or how it got there. The best WebMD answer I could ever find was that a pleural effusion can be caused by a pulmonary embolism, like the ones that I had. I was released on 7/17 and have been at home recovering ever since. I will be on blood thinners for a couple of months due to the blood clots that I had. I have slowly gotten better each day. The only lingering pain that I have at this point is on the skin in my stomach area . I don't know if this is common or not. My incisions look great but for whatever reason the skin within a few inches of two of them remains extremely sensitive. Sometimes I feel a pinch and burn sensation beneath the skin if I move a certain way. The skin itself is very sensitive, even having my shirt rub against the area causes an unpleasant feeling. The only thing that I can think of is maybe some nerve damage? Regarding the internal bleeding that I originally experienced. The surgeon believes that he may have cut a paraumbilical vein with the incision near my belly button. Since they didn't investigate the cause of the bleeding while it was happening, they will never know for sure. Looking on the bright side, I have lost 50 lbs since the middle of June. My BMI has gone from 41 to 34 in about 6 weeks. I still have 50 more to lose to reach my goal. However I hope to do it a little slower now. I feel like I lost a lot of muscle with the first 50 lbs. Sent from my moto g stylus using BariatricPal mobile app

I had a sleeve done 10 years ago. I lost over 140 pounds. At the outset, I only told my closest friends and family. Maybe 8 people - my dad, and brother knew ( but both have passed away since then ). My then 17 year old daughter and her best friend who was HER support person, and 3 friends. I was in my mid 50's - I am now 64 years old. I regained 40 pounds in 9 years. Spent the last year losing those 40 pounds. Who knows now ? My daughter and her best friend, and 3 friends. It does not come up in conversation - people who knew me when I as over 300 pounds assume that it was my divorce - which did coincide with about when I had WLS. I am not skinny by any means, I am now considered overweight by my age adjusted BMI - but I am comfortable in my own loose skin. People who knew me when I was morbidly obese and meet me again now, ask me WHAT HAPPENED ? I tell them the truth " I lost weight". I also do not tell them that I had a hysterectomy and any other medical issues that I have had in 10 years either. Eating less, eating mindfully, and intentionally - along with my sleeve that still does work, if I let it.... is what helped me to lose weight again 10 years later.

I just wandered on to this site. I had my bypass 19 years ago. It is probably a bit different now. Iknow people who had a lap band and have gained back their weight. The bypass is harder to defeat but you can do it. I would dump if I ate chocolate or candy and with alcohol. I just kept eating chocolate and now I thrive om it. At first, I could not hold any liquor then it was clear and no it is anything at all. I don't dump anymore. But I don't enjoy ice cream and I used to live on it. But I eat cake and other sweets. I am a big baker. I was about 250 when I started out. Lost 80 and gained back 10. Not great given what I endured but I had a stricture and the fix for that enabled me to eat a lot more. Now I eat like I always did. So at 180 I was much better. No more reflux, which I had bad and I could walk without losing my breath. In time I managed to get to about 150 and stayed there. Even got to 145. Then something happened in my life to motivate me. Six months on WW with working out every day and I was religious about it. I got sown to 112 and stabilized at 114 - 115. It was not easy, but when you really want to do something, you will. That was over 3 years ago. I crept uo to 119 or so and got back to 116. I say am trying to get back to 114 but I have only done this half heartedly. If I really wanted it, I would. But I eat a lot of pizza and pasta and candy and nuts and I drink and have wine on occasion. The bypass is the best thing I have ever done for my health. I should have done it earlier. It totally changed my life. Losing the extra weight was all me. I had to work for it. Now I wear a size 6 or even 4. Lots of loose skin, because of my age, but I look great and I am very happy. I hope this is useful to you.. I am 70 years old.

Hi, You will be fine! I, too, was a bandster for 10 years and converted to sleeve 2 months ago. The best word to describe my feeling is RELIEF! the band started out great but then it was too tight, too loose, too finicky from one bite to the next. I have lost 35 pounds and Eat the things that I like. I did away with complex carbs with the band so I haven't (and don't plan on) picked them back up. Best thing, I can eat fruits (All kinds) without throwing up.. You won't regret it. Best,

Try looking abroad. I've been doing a lot of homework on this and I found a name of a Dr. in a forum here from a couple of years ago, Dr. Kelvin Esubio in the Dominican Republic. I've been cyber stalking his IG and reviews for months and after I lose it all I'm def going to him! The lady on the forum said she got her skin removal and BBL done (possibly boobs too, idk) for around 6k, but you have to consider travel expenses etc. too. https://www.instagram.com/kelvineusebiomd/?hl=en He's certified by the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery which you can read about here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Society_for_Aesthetic_Plastic_Surgery Dunno how you feel about medical tourism, but it's worth considering IMO.

Agree - I lost a lot of weight twice in my twenties and my skin bounced back pretty well both times. However when I lost weight following VSG in my thirties - it was a very different story so I'm on a plastics journey now. If you're only 18, I would wait and see. You might be surprised. I actually did find the skin tightening creams - as well as time - to be pretty helpful too.

Agreed! 18 year old skin is much more elastic than us old ladies at menopause and later! If you want to help it along, strength training in the areas where it's loose and collagen peptides... and take pictures now. In a year compare them. Then tell us how that loose skin is doing ! My GF who got sleeve gastrectomy 5 years ago had awful loose skin, but didn't have money for PS. She is 5 yrs older than me. Now the only skin that is loose on her is her "batwings" and that isn't so bad anymore that she wants PS anymore. She used to say that she "rolled up" her boobs to put in her bra. She walks and does pilates for strength training. She's my role model.

If you feel good in your own skin and are healthy at 150 then rock 150 🙂 nobody gets to tell you what weight you should be (except your doctor within reason)