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At the start of my healing, I had to switch to sleeping on my back, which was tough. It took me about 3-4 weeks before I felt comfortable enough to sleep on my stomach again

For some… cami is hyperemisis syndrome can be problematic as well. Also during your first few weeks… there is a lot of mental health triggering with coming off your food addiction, from conversion to new addictions, hormonal changes, poorly studied effects on gastric motility and canibus mixed with a kinda ridiculously large surgery, and taking what is considered a depressant and appetite stimulant…cannibus is great for many folks and diseases I am sure, but… until we know more of what we are doing….it’s not a great idea. Sorry. For some it may be great, but it’s another bump in the road and we’re not sure about the car during the first few weeks.

My favorite tofu dishes are either agadashi tofu ( firm tofu, drain, pat it dry, roll it in corn starch and bake or fry it) mix 2tbs soy sauce, water, mirin in a bowl with 1 tsp ground fresh ginger, drop tofu in and eat immediately. or tofu tofrites: extra firm tofu (drain, pat dry and allow to dry wrapped in paper towels with a plate on top to squish out water, while you make the batter. I have a bunch of batters. Off the top of my head 1c almond meal/flour, 1/2 c coconut flakes, and like 2 tbs Cajun seasoning. Cut tofu into fat fry sizes and dunk it milk or a scrambled up egg then batter and place on baking sheet with parchment paper (or it sticks and is bad ) 15 min at 400 and or until outside is panko crispy. Salt if needed. Good as is or with dips also great with shrimp. Or tofu chocolate pie/ mouse: everyone likes this with different amounts of sugar (if I eat sugar I suddenly can’t think about anything but binge eating for a week). So I just use the darkest and most cocoa powder chocolate I can get and melt 1.5 cups and toss it in a blender with an already prepped block of silken tofu (prep, wrap it in paper towels 2-3 layers till try, so not squash silken to get out water). I then add a sprinkle of salt and a tap vanilla. Scrape it into cups or a pie tin…. Refrigerate for 2 hours. My sister makes this with a cup of sweetener… I skip. Pardon.. seriously all day I think about food. Get a notebook or notecards. Separate it into categories by how long it is to prepare. Start with your under 5 min, 30, or whatever times you need. Put carb, protein, etc info in the back. Make your recipe set. When you are bored with food… a crazy good recipe like sukiyaki with konjac noodles or muscles in a savory broth, spoil yourself. Or mix up your cards you have saved. Add cards as you like things. But make sure you have a ready supply of “crap I can make with on hand pantry stuff when I didn’t go shopping,” “crap I can make under 5 min, I am starving,” and “crap that freezes great for oamc food prep so you are never having to resort to crap take out.” You will feel like you’ve got the Bariatric eating down after you have your recipe book.

@SpartanMaker is correct. It will likely be from the surgical gas rising behind the lungs & putting pressure on the phrenic nerve. From here it is absorbed into the lungs & you breathe it out. You don’t burn or fart it out. Yes walking helps as does slow deep breathing, marching on the spot (even seated ones), lifting your arms up and down as they help you breathe it out more quickly. A heat pad can help with the shoulder & neck pain. Otherwise it’s just a waiting game. I think it took up to a week for it to abate after my gall removal surgery (I had none with my sleeve). In saying that I had a muscle spasm in my back (I have a weakness there thanks to oozy discs) on day 2 or 3 after sleeve surgery. My surgeon suggested it was likely stress I was holding from the surgery. I had a lot of pain when swallowing due to swelling & I know I was holding myself tightly every time I had to sip or take a tablet. The spasm passed later that day. If it persists fir more than a week & isn’t lessening, contact your team.. All the best.

I'll do my best to help, but I'm going to have to start by asking some questions: When you say the weight is "barely coming off", can you be more specific? How much in the last week, two weeks, last month? Can you clarify what your goal weight really is? In your profile, you're showing that you're currently at 78kg and your goal is 75kg. That's only about 6-7 pounds, not the 33-44 you listed. I'm thinking you probably have a new goal and have not updated your profile, but it's important to understand what you really are trying to do. When you say you are "eating pretty well", can you give some examples of what a typical day looks like? What is your daily caloric goal? What about protein, fat and carbs? How are you determining your what you caloric and macronutrient intake should be? How are you tracking your intake? Do you weigh everything in grams before it goes into your mouth? Let me explain why I'm asking these questions. Typically when people are struggling with weight loss, we see a few common issues: Unrealistic expectations. Especially if weight loss early on after surgery was easy, people tend to think it will continue that way until they reach goal weight. Unfortunately, that's not how this works. The heavier we are, the more we'll lose at first. The closer we get to goal, the harder it becomes. It can take months just to lose a few pounds if you are already pretty lean. You also have to really have your nutrition dialed in at that point.. I won't get too deep into the physiology here, but there are multiple reasons for this and it's 100% normal for this to happen. My point is that you may be right where you need to be. It's hard to know just that just based on what you posted above. Eating more than you think. Study after study shows that almost everyone thinks they eat less than they really do, even those that log their food using calorie tracking apps. It's sometimes simple things like those little tastes while preparing a meal, or that handful of nuts they forgot to log. Others, they just guess at calories because accurate tracking is really hard. Burning less than you think. Most people have absolutely no idea how many calories they actually burn in a day. We often use estimates based on height and weight, but these can be off by may hundreds of calories depending on age, lifestyle, percent body fat, etc. Further, your calorie burn isn't the same all the time. It can vary by hundreds of calories per day even before you consider exercise. Speaking of exercise, we drastically overestimate the impact of exercise calories. For the vast majority of people, the calories they burn in a day don't actually change all that much due to exercise. Blaming things outside your control. It's natural for people look for causes for problems. If we take ownership of the problem, we can then take steps to correct it. It's when we place the blame on something we perceive to be outside our control that we can run into serious problems. Let me give you an example here. We can't escape simple physics. If you burn more calories in a day than you consume, you'll lose weight. Eat more than you burn and you gain weight. If I take responsibility for this, then it means I need to eat less or burn more to lose weight. I realize that's easier said than done, but without first taking responsibility for the problem, I'd have no hope of fixing the issue. If on the other hand, I were to say "I have a slow metabolism", I'd essentially be saying this issue is outside my control, even though the solution is the same as before: eat less than you burn. Thinking a particular diet/macronutrient is more important than calories. I noticed you hinted at that in your post. Calories are king here. Specific diets that emphasize one or more macronutrients can help, but they never trump calories. I can go into more detail later, but this post is already getting overly long so I think I'll stop here. Please provide some additional detail and I may be able to provide better guidance.

6 week update: Down to 252. So officially 10 pounds down. I feel good. Clothing is fitting better. Snacking habit broken. More energy from eating better foods.

Is it just me, or is it really odd they'd tell you what not to use, but didn't tell you what you should be using? Surely they must have some suggestions that fit what they want here? As far as I know, all meal replacement shakes contain added vitamins as that's sort of the point. They also contain added carbs and fats that most protein shakes don't have. I'd say the vast majority of people here were told to just use protein shakes. That's typically for a few reasons: First, especially if you also take a vitamin supplement, you're not going to suffer any long term harm using protein shakes instead of meal replacement shakes for a few weeks. Second, most meal replacement shakes are lower in protein than a typical protein shake. We want as much protein as possible to help prevent the breakdown of muscle tissue when dieting. Third, most bariatric doctors don't actually want you consuming very many carbs, since one of the main goals of the pre-surgical diet is to shrink your liver to make the surgery safer. The best way to do that is a very low carb diet. (The liver is one of the main ways your body stores glycogen, so by depleting it of glycogen (carbs), it will get smaller, even if no other changes take place.) TL;DR: Ask your team what they want you to use.

I have a tentative surgery date of June 17th so I'll be starting my 2 week liver shrink / pre-op diet the first week of June. My nutritionist said I will have to drink meal replacement shakes for breakfast, lunch, & supper. I have Premier Protein powder at home, but he said that is not a meal REPLACEMENT, it's just a high protein shake. What meal replacement shakes do you recommend? Which ones tastes the best? I don't think I can drink the ones that have a heavy vitamin taste.

I am going to ask you a question that I also ask myself when I have periods of consuming things I know I should not have. How did it get in your house? It's one thing to be in a place where temptation strikes. Maybe you go to a wedding and you are handed a glass of champagne. Maybe you go to your friend's birthday party and you take a piece of cake because everyone else has one. Okay, fine. This is not likely to be an ongoing issue unless your social calendar is booked constantly (in which case you need a plan). (But also, not fine because you are at 8 weeks out and your stomach is like a delicate baby that you are feeding trash. More like fine a year from now.) But if you are on day 6 of drinking wine while watching TV at night, all snug on your sofa... why is there wine in your house? Did you buy it? Did someone else bring it in? Is it left over from something? The easiest way not to drink alcohol casually is to have no alcohol in the house. The easiest way not to eat chips, or chocolate, or ice cream is... to not have it around. Get rid of it. I know a lot of us have issues with "wasting" food or drink. What I've come to realize only slowly is that there is no difference between me eating junk I don't need that is not good for me and putting it down the garbage disposal. Except in the second scenario, I don't gain weight. After Easter, I bought a big bag of jelly beans on clearance. They weren't very good. Even so, I kept eating them. I put them in the cupboard and kept getting a handful every time I walked past. And then I would eat a few and say these are really not very good. And then I would KEEP EATING THEM! Finally, after I did this several times, I stopped and asked myself what I was doing. Why was I eating these? Why did I buy them? And my only answer was because I was bored, and a little stressed, and they were there. Also, I like jelly beans. Only I didn't like them. So, I threw them away. An almost full bag, in the garbage. I know! The waste! But I didn't need them, I didn't like them, and they were making me crave all sorts of other sweets. I just kept thinking about the fact they were there. It made me want them. When they were gone, I could no longer eat them, and I didn't care enough to go buy more. For the first year, I did most of my grocery shopping through curbside pick up. I planned what to buy based on a menu plan, and that's all I got. No impulse buys. No clearance bins. No getting a dozen bags of something bad for me because it was on sale. I gave away all my alcohol or poured it down the drain. I threw away the junk food and organized my pantry so I could find things at a glance. I made a list of healthy things that were easy to eat or take along because I know I will always eat what's easy and not what's difficult. I meal prep for the week so that I don't have to cook and prep every single day and I have no excuse to eat out. I'll also be honest that the hardest times for me were before surgery when I was trying to follow a nutrition plan but had a lot of hunger and cravings, and from around 9 months out when weight loss had slowed and my appetite was becoming more noticeable and my weight loss naturally slowed. The fact that you're feeling like this at 8 weeks is concerning because this is the time when your ability to stay motivated should be highest (constant reinforcement when you step on the scale and lose weight almost every day), and your ability to eat is the least. Don't let this drag on without addressing it. Talk to your team. Because it's only going to get harder. Maybe you're bored. Or scared of change. Or you don't believe the surgery will work and you're turning it into a self fulfilling prophecy because that's easier emotionally than trying and failing. Or you just can't help yourself when the food or alcohol is in the house because you're addicted. Whatever it is, the best day to fix it is today. And ask your family and friends for help. Be accountable to others and to yourself. Because you can fix this, but if you don't, you won't reach your goal.

Hi lovelies, I hope you’re all doing well? You were all so supportive with the question I asked a few weeks ago that I thought I would come here and see if you have any advice for me now! As of tomorrow I am eight weeks out from the gastric bypass procedure. I have lost quite a bit of weight (2 stone) which I’m absolutely delighted about (and people are starting to notice which has been a really good feeling). However, I must have THE most stubborn self sabotaging streak because I have started to drink alcohol again (and not just on special occasions) as well as not following the food rules and not exercising. I can’t understand why I’m being like this because my family are so happy that I’ve done this and have been so supportive, and my friends (even though they don’t know about the operation are really starting to notice) so WHY am I doing this to myself? I just wondered if you guys knew of a reason I may have hit the wall so early (I really do not want to fail) and especially if you have any advice, book recommendations apps or anything that I might be able to do to help me get back on track and find my way again. Really appreciated as always thank you xx

you lost way more than I did in the first three months - and I started out around the same weight..

My surgery is on Monday the 12th, I am excited and nervous as well, but I have a huge community to help me. You will be going through grief of loss or the grief of having to follow a regimen diet. I attend a group every day, just to grab nuggets of information and knowledge. I am a member of Barination, and they have certified licensed and professional mental health care providers, dieticians and nutrition specialists and lots of discussions with physicians and groups or teams from around the country. I would strongly urge you to visit them and see what they are all about. You can find lots of YouTube videos from Barination that are free for all to view. They have one that is on what to expect as a pre-op and immediate post-op patient. Once a Bariatric patient, always a bariatric patient. I wish you well on your surgery on the 9th. Keep us up to date how you are doing and we can provide you with knowledge and understanding of the feelings you are feeling. Start that feelings journal now and write anything that is in your mind, and re-read them for learning and keep them to look back a year out to see where you were before, and where you are a year out. I started that 2 weeks ago and I have come to realize that I still have that head hunger. I'm not hungry but bored, so I think about food to fill the void. That is head hunger. It is a real thing, so as you begin the liquid diet, remember that the #1 problem or complication you will have is dehydration so sip, sip, sip!! If you have protein water, that will help you feel more full than just drinking water. Hope I helped a little bit, hang in there, this is a life-long journey.

Been back on the bariatric / keto train for a month now. Feeling much better already. Getting sugar out of my life has been a relief. Took me a couple weeks to get through the cravings. Once gone, they've stayed gone.

Just jumping in to say that 60lbs in 3 months is a tremendous amount of weight to lose! Have you ever lost that much in three months before? Or at all? Pre-surgery, I could never lose more than about 40lbs before I plateaued and then slowly started to regain. But, I understand you have a long way left to go, so it probably feels like you'll never get there. Focus on building the good habits now, like you are. If you can, go for a daily walk. That may be plenty of exercise for now if you are currently sedentary. But protein, vegetables, and fruits are great choices. Also, take photos of yourself to see the progress. I swear that even at over a year out and within 10 lbs of a normal BMI, I still FEEL obese sometimes. And then I see a recent photo of myself and I am shocked to see a normal weight woman who kinda looks like me. How can I see myself so wrong in my own head? In the first year, I took a progress photo every month on the 21st so I could compare. I'm so glad I did.

Welll.... got my brachio. On post op day 4. Feeling pretty good. It's still very swollen. Here's post op day 3 photo. I can't wait to be healed and wearing t shirt. I have to wear this compression top for 2 weeks straight then for 12 hours a day for 4 more weeks or so.

Hey y’all! I was sleeved on 04/28 so I’m one week out, however, I’ve been having some dark brown discharge (not super heavy) but it started 2-3 days post op. I’m wondering if it’s surgery related which would be weird right ? But I had my period 4/19 so wondering if it’s just delayed discharge from that. Pretty much wondering if this has happened to anyone else?

I and on my pre op diet right now. I drink a shake in the morning and a snack in the afternoon and a pure protein meal for dinner. After surgery, it’s pure liquid for 3 weeks, which doesn’t seem too bad. The Premier shakes keep me pretty good for a while. It’s honestly not been too bad.

My 3 week liver reduction diet consisted of Proti brand foods/shakes. Don't really recommend! Breakfast consisted of a proti packet, which was usually oatmeal. Then a proti packet for an am snack. For lunch it was a another Proti packet, and a second option of either 1/2 cup of cottage cheese, 2 eggs, 2 oz of lean meat, or a 2nd packet of Proti. Mid day snack, Proti. For dinner, it was 2 oz of lean meat, a starch and a fruit. Additionally, I could have all of the veggies I wanted, as well as sugar free jello, popsicles. Proti shakes are only decent if you're able to mix them with a milk frother and add ice. The soup noodles had a weird texture, so I always picked them out. The oatmeals were just ok. The blueberry pancakes I was not a fan of. Tomorrow starts my clear liquid diet and surgery on Wednesday. Excited to be on the other side of this.

My meal prepped breakfast for the week! Quinoa, egg whites, blackberries and walnuts with a side of ham. 262 cal, 25g carb, 20g protein 9g fat, 4g fiber

Hi, my operation is on the 25th may, I started the liver reduction diet today and dreading it. My local NHS hospital has given me a very small list of food to have for 3 weeks and not a lot of information. I finished a weight loss injection last week because it wasn't agreeing with me so my appetite is coming back too 🤣 such bad timing haha. How did people's surgeries go recently?

It wasn’t too hard. My appetite wasn’t 100% gone like with the sleeve but given that I was already on the low-carb for a couple weeks before and the changes it made it was quite a bit easier to stick to it. In fact, it was night and day. The surgery was so much better for me. It actually made metabolic changes that got me up and exercising and that made me feel good. I was eating 100% clean for four months. Then I had some other medical issues that have sort of just put me in the stall mode but I am going to get back to it. I’m actually not allowed to eat like I was eating. I have to maintain my weight because I am in chemo, but I’m still exercising through chemo and before surgery, I was like 100% sedentary so the surgery definitely made some changes, not just to the stomach or the intestines, but to my metabolism to make me start up my exercise again, multiple times when I’ve had to stop because I was in the hospital for 10 days with pneumonia and then I had to stop because of different scans that they didn’t allow me to exercise for a couple of days and then I had to stop because I developed hyperthyroid, and my pulse was dangerously high for a couple weeks and every time I have started up again with my exercise so it’s kind of insane because without the surgery there’s no way I could’ve done that. I really hope it’s the same for you. I mean minus the chemo, of course, but that it changes your metabolism and that it works for you for me I could tell from very early out that it was gonna work this time. I lost 75 pounds and the first four months and I was so motivated that I kept exercising and eating clean through my first month after a cancer diagnosis going to all of the doctors and PET scans and all of that stuff even traveling all around the state I still stayed on my plan. Then with chemo, they didn’t want me staying at a calorie deficit so that threw things off a little bit but I have maintained the 90 pound loss and tomorrow is actually my last chemo treatment so hopefully I will be allowed to start losing again, but we’ll see. According to my bariatric team I need to continue eating enough for radiation, but I’m gonna see what the radiation doctor says. Anyways, I’m not talking about the cancer thing for any reason other than to say there’s no way I could’ve maintained any kind of loss before the surgery because I would’ve been eating for comfort. For a situation like this and definitely used it as an excuse to not exercise. And I have had a couple of days where I’ve eaten for comfort and I’ve used it for an excuse to not exercise, but unlike before when that meant everything was out the window for good I’ve gotten right back on track. Best of luck to you. For me it has been a life changer.

So glad to hear you are doing well. Yea when the cravings come back it sucks. I have been doing okay. Tomorrow is my last day of the infused chemo. Surgery on 3 weeks then radiation in five. I will be on the immunotherapy another year and maybe oral chemo depending on the pathology from surgery. 🤞 I don’t need the chemo because that may mean I’m immunocompromised still and I’m so sick of the isolation of trying not to get sick and miss treatment. I got a tiny little cold that made me septic and spent 10 days in hospital which made me miss two weeks of chemo so I’ve had to be super careful to not get sick again and all along they have told me once I get to radiation I won’t have to be so careful. I mean sick would mean I would miss treatment but only for a day or two while I had a fever or felt really crummy and it wouldn’t be life or death. Anyways, I only read about the oral chemo on the patient portal tonight so I will ask Dr more about it this Friday when we chat. Maybe it’s not a big deal. I have pretty much maintained my weight till recently. I’ve gained a few pounds. I’m still on the heavy steroids and the immunotherapy caused thyrotoxicosis I think it’s called. I was hyper thyroid to start but then like 3 weeks later it went back to normal and then to hypo thyroid and apparently it usually stays that way. I reached out to my bariatric team and asked him if I could start on with Govee to help get me off of some of these processed carbs and he acted like I was being crazy to be worried about my weight at a time like this. I said I’m not trying to lose weight. I know I’m not supposed to and I haven’t Since December when I started the Chemo, but I don’t think that if you’re so concerned about me, maintaining my weight to fuel my body and help myself recover that the foods I’m eating in order to sustain an overweight body weight are really helping me recover from anything. I said all I want to do is be able to stop eating the garbage and start eating healthy nutrition again and I would be willing to log all my food again and check in with you to make sure I’m not losing too fast or anything, but he says no way not until I get the all clear cancer free from my oncologist. But I’m helping my oncologist can reach out to him and tell him that I’m not gonna get that for another year and if I wait that long, I’ll probably be as big as a house again without any help. Or I may just have to go through an endocrinologist or my family doctor or something. Anyway, anyways, trying to not worry about it too much but I didn’t appreciate that. He acted like I have some kind of eating disorder or something and I have like a death wish. I mean, I wasn’t saying that I wanna take something that’s gonna make me starve myself to death. I was just saying that I want to change what I’m eating and eat healthy obviously if the medicine made it where I couldn’t eat anything. I would stop taking it. I’m not insane. 🤣 but it is very discouraging to see the numbers on the scale go up even if it’s only 5 pounds.

It’s been 19 years me and my band have been together and I have lost over 200 pounds today. I weigh 239 pounds and that’s a far reach from 430. However, I recently learned that erosion is a medical term for hole in your stomach Caused by the band so it had to be removed. It’s been three weeks now and the pain, the discomfort, the inability to tolerate food as upon me again and it reminds me of the days when I first got home from surgery. I guess now I just need to learn to not eat for a while maybe I’ll lose another 20 pounds. Either way my band is gone. I’m alive and well healthy blessed and have much more life. God loves me. Louie

Weight loss surgery success journey stories are important because the written word enables us to connect on an emotional basis with others. Telling our journey stories is a way to build a deeper level of understanding. Thinking about and creating our stories regarding our life history, life experiences, and influences on our lives can be related to family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. Everyone has different, exceptional life experiences with unique and special stories to share and teach others. My own story is one of redemption and salvation – but my redemption involved turning away from religion, and my salvation came from science. I was born and raised in a religious, conservative Christian home in Charlotte, North Carolina. My parents are both immigrants from Taiwan, and they moved to the United States in the 1980s. Their command of the English language and understanding of American culture were poor. Their acclimation to the United States was heavily dependent on their participation in the Charlotte Chinese Baptist Church. The Christian Baptist church is where my parents first initially met each other. They dated for a short period of time before they made the decision to get married. After marriage, they gave birth to me as their first born, and two years later, my younger sister. As far back as I can remember, my family attended Sunday services at the conservative Christian Baptist church on a regular basis. I was indoctrinated into being a conservative Christian by my family, friends, teachers, classmates, schools, and the conservative Christian church we attended. I was taught to believe in Jesus, Virgin Mary, and the existence of heaven and hell. We prayed in church, and I was taught to "give my life to god" and to avoid "sin." I was taught homosexuality was a sin and that LGBT people went to hell. My parents forbade my sister and me from dating, and I was told by my family, church, and teachers to save my virginity for marriage, which meant premarital sex was a major taboo. When I was in middle school, all of us girls were enrolled in the "Best Friends" program, an abstinence-only "sex education" program. The program merely consisted of "just say no" if boys wanted sex. Throughout my entire childhood, I unfortunately endured extreme domestic/family violence and experienced severe physical, verbal, emotional, psychological, spiritual/religious, and sexual abuse, incest, trauma, and molestation perpetrated by my conservative Christian father. My conservative Christian father was a very active volunteer at church, and he was highly respected by fellow church leaders and members of the congregation. However, he used his outward acts of service for the church as a deceptive mask to harbor many deep, dark secrets behind closed doors. My father was a chronic alcoholic and domineering, psychopathic perpetrator of horrific violence. He was a sadistic sociopath who derived sick pleasure from abusing my mother, my sister, and me in every way possible: physically, verbally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually/religiously, and sexually assaulting, molesting, traumatizing, and humiliating us. My father weaponized the Bible as a tool to repeatedly abuse, assault, control, molest, terrorize, threaten, and violate my mother, sister, and me. He claimed the Bible justified his abuse, violence, and mistreatment towards us. He was a gun owner who threatened on countless occasions to murder the three of us and burn down our home “to destroy the evidence," so our bodies would never be found. Both my parents constantly warned I would be sent away to a foster home, where I would be treated far worse by strangers if I ever told my school teachers or complained to authorities about the horrific abuse and violence that was taking place at home on a daily basis. As an innocent young child, I wholeheartedly believed every word of my parents as I did not know any better. A middle school classmate noticed a bruise on my arm and asked me about it. I confided in her about the abuse and violence being perpetuated by my parents against me at home. She was sincerely concerned about my safety and worried about my well-being and told our homeroom teacher, who in turn, informed the middle school guidance counselor. After lunch, I was pulled from algebra class and asked to speak with the guidance counselor. Out of my irrational fear of being removed from my family home, the only place I'd ever known, I lied and said I'd injured myself by accident. At the time, I thought I was in trouble because I'd never been removed from class. I wanted only to return to math class to avoid missing any important class material. Back when I was an innocent child, I still believed in a just and merciful God. I used to kneel at my bed every night and fervently pray to God to kill me in my sleep. I desperately wished to die so I would not be forced to endure another day of extreme abuse and violence. It's heartbreaking for me to think back now about how I started seriously contemplating suicide when I was a young child. I did not wish to live and did not want to continue enduring the horrific abuse I experienced as a child at home every day. No one seemed to care about or love me, not even my own parents. I felt absolutely trapped in this living hell at home. As a child, my parents would not allow me to seek mental health care since doing so would reveal their abuse and violence towards me, and they knew they would face severe legal repercussions. My immigrant parents came from a conservative, traditional Asian culture and attached a very negative stigma to psychological services. They viewed patients who sought mental health treatment as "crazy." At the age of 18, I was finally able to move out on my own, and I left my hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina to attend the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. I began to meet and learn from people of different races, ethnicities, socioeconomic classes, religions/non-religions, with family backgrounds and histories that were unlike the oppressive, conservative Christian culture I'd grown up with. I was exposed to new, fascinating ideas, thoughts, and perspectives from my university professors and fellow college students. I learned about liberal. progressive Democrats and the concepts of socioeconomic and racial injustice, diversity, equity, and inclusion, women’s rights, and more. I was exposed for the first time to secular ideas. I began questioning the existence of God at this juncture. All the rules and regulations I'd been taught to follow by my conservative Christian family and church as a means to salvation had brought me nothing but painful despair and misery throughout my entire life up to that point. I was exposed to an entirely new world in college in which I learned that I had value as an individual as well as learning critical thinking skills, philosophical logic, and scientific thought. However, the years of abuse had left many scars. I sought help from a psychiatrist who finally diagnosed me with major depressive disorder (MDD), generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)/panic attacks, and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). My psychiatrist prescribed antidepressant and antianxiety medications for me, and I also began intensive psychotherapy. I sought out trauma-focused mental health counselors and therapists and successfully completed countless mental health treatments and therapies for my healing and recovery. I discovered the abuse and violence I experienced during my childhood was not my fault, and I was not to blame whatsoever despite what my conservative Christian family constantly told me. I also learned about concepts and techniques such as self-care, emotional regulation, and developing healthy boundaries. The mental health treatments I received included Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, Somatic Experiencing (SE) therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group therapy as well as medical treatments such as Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) treatment and esketamine treatment. In addition, I attended support groups for survivors of childhood abuse and incest, sexual assault, rape, and religious trauma. My journey back from the brink had finally begun. However, I was about to take a huge and very dangerous detour in my journey of healing. Food was my drug of choice back then. I used to binge eat massive amounts of food to desperately fill the empty void of nothingness I felt within and to cope with my feelings of depression, sadness, worthlessness, hopelessness, guilt, shame, fear, emotional numbness, fatigue, exhaustion, migraines, stomachaches, anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty with focus and concentration, and other symptoms. I preferred unhealthy junk food and fast food that provided me with momentary comfort. I gained prodigious amounts of weight. The antidepressants I took increased my appetite, causing more weight gain. The weight gain made me feel even more depressed, and the depression made me eat ever increasing amounts of food, which became a vicious cycle. I developed social anxiety and hated going out in public because I feared strangers bullying and taunting me for my appearance. I am 5 feet, 6 inches tall, and unbelievable as it may seem to most people, at my maximum, I weighed a staggering 321 pounds at my highest and had a BMI of 51.8. I was super morbidly obese, extremely unhealthy, and unfortunately, developed many serious, chronic health issues over the years. Due to the excess weight, I used to get winded easily and ran out of energy very quickly. I could not stand or walk for more than a few minutes before I began experiencing excruciating pain in my back, forcing me to sit and rest before I could stand and walk again. I suffered from numerous chronic, life-threatening health conditions, which included high blood pressure, high cholesterol, pre-diabetes, obstructive sleep apnea, chronic back pain, knee pain, non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, hiatal hernia, and others. Since I have a family history of even more severe health issues such as stroke, heart disease, diabetes, and cancer, I saw the writing on the wall. My super morbid obesity was literally killing me, and my future seemed bleak and hopeless. Due to my ever growing weight and developing serious, chronic health conditions which made my life excruciating painful and miserable physically and psychologically, I still had suicidal ideation, conducted detailed research on methods for ending my life, and even began to make active suicide plans. Fortunately, President Barack Obama successfully passed the Affordable Care Act, commonly referred to as “Obamacare.” Obamacare was the first time in my life I had the opportunity to obtain health insurance as an adult. Luckily, I also discovered Dr. Peter C. Ng, MD, FACS, FASMBS at Rex Bariatrics and their amazing UNC Rex Health bariatric surgical team in Raleigh, North Carolina. On Monday, October 6, 2014, I underwent a form of bariatric (weight loss) surgery called the duodenal switch with Dr. Peter Ng at UNC Rex Hospital in Raleigh, North Carolina. Thanks to Dr. Ng and his compassionate bariatric team at UNC/Rex Healthcare, my recovery was finally back on track. Science, not religion, literally saved my life. My closest friends volunteered to help me many times, and they're absolutely critical to my success. Cathy took me to all my doctor’s appointments and was my biggest cheerleader. Joni was another amazing mentor and took excellent care of me at home while I was recovering from surgery. I would not be alive today if it weren't for Barack Obama, Dr. Peter Ng, Cathy, Joni, and other dear friends. I learned how to eat a healthy diet and began an exercise regimen to help take off all the excess weight. I worked tirelessly and pushed myself to the limit in terms of my diet, exercise, and lifestyle transformation. It was very difficult to say the least, but I succeeded, not through prayer or faith in God, but through hard work, sheer will, grit, perseverance, determination, and tenacity. Ultimately, I lost 191 lbs – a weight loss I'm very happy and pleased to report I’ve maintained to this very day. I now weigh 130 lbs, which is exactly what I weighed when I was 18 years old, and I have a very healthy BMI of 21.0. Since I've lost and kept off such a massive amount of weight, I no longer have any of the aforementioned health issues; they’ve all completely resolved themselves, for which I am very thankful. I eat a healthy diet, am physically fit, and lead a physically active, robust lifestyle. My friends lovingly refer to me as the "Energizer Bunny." I am happy and healthy now. I continue to take antidepressant medications and to see my psychiatrist and therapist because major depression is prone to relapse without ongoing treatment. I've developed a strong, iron-clad support system of compassionate, caring, kind, empathetic, generous chosen family and loved ones, all of whom I'm incredibly grateful to have in my life. I do not begrudge faith to people who take comfort in religion; however, the toxic form of Christianity that consumed my childhood nearly ended my life. I was saved by science and human compassion. My will to keep fighting came not from a belief in a reward after death, but from learning of the inherent value each of us has here on earth while we are alive and breathing. I visited my bariatric surgeon Dr. Ng for my annual follow-up visit last year on Wednesday, October 1, 2024. I received my blood work test results, and my labs were "perfect." Every year, Dr. Ng laughingly tells me my blood test results are better than his own! Dr. Ng is, without a doubt, my favorite surgeon since he literally saved my life. I’m exceptionally grateful for him and his expert surgical skills in performing the duodenal switch bariatric weight loss surgery on me, and I’m also tremendously thankful to the entire UNC Health Rex medical team. Sunday, October 6, 2024 marked a significant date in my life; it was my ten-year surgiversary. In case you aren't aware, a surgiversary is the anniversary of a surgery, most commonly associated with bariatric (weight loss) surgery, a medically necessary surgical procedure which profoundly changed my life with the best possible outcome. I’ve been grateful and fortunate to find peace, bliss, happiness, and joy in life without the need for religion or belief in a god or higher power. I absolutely love my life, and I'm beyond excited and thrilled to experience all the fantastic joy and happiness that life has to offer. I finally love and truly believe in myself. I'm an outgoing, hardworking, highly energetic Taiwanese American leader and activist. I’m self-employed and work tirelessly at multiple contract and freelance paid positions. My roles include working as a private military defense contractor with the U.S. Department of Defense by assisting active duty U.S. military personnel with their Mandarin speaking skills at a U.S. military base, as a Mandarin speaking private tutor, as an independent film & media contractor for Rob Underhill Productions, as a freelance writer & editor, and as a social media marketing manager. I'm a multicultural individual with a global mindset. I'm known for my values and strength of character: ethics, integrity, perseverance, resilience, and tenacity. Brimming with confidence, commitment to excellence, fervent drive to succeed, innovative thinking, and positive, can-do, go-getter attitude. My passions and strengths include professional networking, social media marketing, event planning, business development, communication, leadership, writing/editing, and team building. I'm well-connected politically and socially including CEOs, VPs, C-Suite executives, elected government officials, directors, leadership, management, business owners, entrepreneurs, physicians, attorneys, engineers, sales & marketing, real estate brokers, creatives, musicians, artists, innovators, and other powerful community leaders at local, state, and federal government levels, U.S Department of Defense (DoD), Fortune 500 companies, and nonprofits in Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill/RDU/Triangle, North Carolina, United States, Taiwan, China, and elsewhere around the world. I'm passionate about personal growth, living a fulfilling, purposeful life, and highly value community engagement. Most importantly I love volunteering, inspiring and motivating others, “paying it forward,” and having a positive impact on the community and world around me. I spend much of my free time performing charity work, volunteering at my alma mater UNC-Chapel Hill, promoting business owners, and volunteering and canvassing for Democratic politicians and elected government officials at local, state, and federal levels of government. I'm active in volunteering with many nonprofit organizations, mainly secular and non-religious, although I've cultivated and maintained dear, loving friendships with Called to Peace Ministries, a Christian-affiliated nonprofit organization that provides advocacy, education, support, and practical assistance to domestic violence survivors. In addition, I love volunteering to help people who are struggling with their own weight loss challenges, and I always hope my own story will inspire them. The causes I hold closest to my heart are ending domestic violence and abuse, ending poverty, promoting secular humanism, critical thinking, and science education, advocating for separation of church and state, supporting mental health advocacy and research, supporting social, economic, and racial justice and diversity, equity, inclusion, and helping people who are overweight and obese in their journeys to lead healthier, more physically active lives. I'm extremely active politically and have volunteered countless hours for Democratic political candidates' campaigns in Wake County/Raleigh/Triangle/RDU/RTP, North Carolina with their successful election and re-election to elected government office positions. In addition, I'm very active in the secular humanist movement by participating in local, state, and national meetings and conferences with my favorite organizations including The Freethought Society, Recovering From Religion, American Humanist Association, and countless others. I also enjoy volunteering for other liberal, progressive organizations that support ending domestic violence, advocating for mental health, women's rights, gun control, comprehensive sex education, socioeconomic and racial justice, diversity, equity, inclusion, and more. I enjoy cultural arts such as traveling domestically and internationally, learning about different languages and cultures, attending plays/theater and comedy shows, visiting museums, and going to concerts and hearing live music. I've traveled all over the United States, Canada, Mexico, Caribbean, and Asia including Taiwan, Japan, and Singapore. I'm physically active, love adventure, and enjoy experiencing nature and being outdoors. I love spending time in nature and exercising outdoors, especially hiking and ziplining. I've also done parasailing, flyboarding, canoeing, kayaking, sailing, cruising, whitewater rafting, and been given countless opportunities to experience many other awesome adventures I'd never received before. I absolutely live life to the fullest. This is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life, and I want to help others improve their lives and feel the same joy as I do. If I can do it, you can too! Even if life seems bleak and dark and you feel like quitting, DON'T GIVE UP! I promise you, life gets better; I'm living proof of that! I suffered through countless seemingly insurmountable adversities, barriers, challenges, and obstacles in my lifetime, but I also became a more empathetic, compassionate, loving, and kind human being. I'm a resilient and tenacious survivor and thriver. I'm an unstoppable force of nature to be reckoned with; there's absolutely nothing in the world that can stop me. My experiences have made me absolutely fearless: I fear nothing and no one. My long-term goals are to become a published best-selling author, a highly sought after public motivational speaker, and to give TED talks. I want to speak to audiences around the world about my journey, grit, perseverance, resilience, determination, strength, and tenacity, and to inspire and motivate others to do the same. Thanks so much for reading my story; feel free to share if you’d like and reach out to me if I can help! I attached a photo of Dr. Peter C. Ng, MD, FACS, FASMBS and me at UNC Rex Bariatrics Healthcare taken on Wednesday, October 1, 2024. (10-year surgiversary celebration of my duodenal switch, a bariatric surgery that Dr. Ng performed on Monday, October 6, 2014)

I would've had no trouble with a Disney trip 5 weeks post op.....other than hearing "it is small world after all" 17,000 times.