Desiree1970

I'll definately take that advice! I love you Girl! Thanks

It's funny...I have a tentative surgery date for next Friday.... funny that my insurance says we haven't recieved any paperwork....Yeah it's all just...Funny...not....

But I can at least laugh about it right

This will doggone make me stronger..

I'm ready y'all, I bought my goodies, broth....protein (Protein nectar and isopplus) Liquid tylenol, gas ex strips...liquid calcium vitamines...the kind you take by spoonful.... I'm Xcited LOL

OOh I love you too girl!!! Thanks Teresita!

I’m writing this because I don’t believe I have ever been this frustrated in my entire life. I have been through so much bull shit in between doctor’s visits and dealing with my insurance and I’m sorry if I offend anyone, but I truly need to vent. I’m obese! Dammit I’m over 100 lbs over weight and this is simply bullshit! I’ve been through so many pre testing…I’ve paid at least 3 grand in having doctors see me naked and examine me for this surgery…only to have my paperwork not reach my insurance… my insurance to say it’ll take a good 30 days for me to be approved and my doctor’s office to be waiting….. mean while, my ass is getting sick and fucking tired of all this drama! I hate that I cry more than anything out of anxiety over this surgery…I don’t feel any closer today than I did back in August when I was sent to a doctor who didn’t even do the lap band procedure! I’m frustrated beyond frustration and I STILL have to put on a pretty face and work today!

I think that J doesn’t want to have anything to do with me because he hasn’t called me, and I don’t think he even cares…maybe I’m too fat for him? Duh…maybe I am, I know I hate what I see in the mirror! Ardith was right, people treat you so much different when you’re larger…I’m tired of being overlooked and ignored…I’m through with the men who want to be “friends” because they’re scared of being in a relationship with a fat girl. I’m no less likely loveable because of the extra flesh on my frame. I’m a human being…I’ve got feelings and why am I caring about Jeff when he obviously doesn’t give a rats ass about my big fat ass!? Can’t buy love Desiree, I could have sent dozens of care packages to his ass in Iraq and that wouldn’t change the fact that he used me and my kindness and I was a gullable stupid girl still searching for acceptance in others. When will I learn to crave that acceptance from myself. I know I’m venting, but am I really prepared for this surgery? I have a lot to think about…:angry

Yeah I did it...I broke what so falsely has been accused as the stupidest thing you can do when strapped for cash....

I took out a payday advance.

No gravy, I asked for $300 ... got it the next day and when payday rolled around was given the opp to pay the $300 back (plus a fee...hey they did loan me cash quick!) or pay the fee and extend my loan another week. I opted to pay the $375.

The good out of this kids.... I was able to pay the bills I needed to and avoid the late fees...get my hair "did" and put some groceries in the house.....

Not bad for a cash advance.....:scared:

I'm finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All test are done and now i'm just waiting for my insurance to give me the okay!!!!

My friend's appointment is set and I'm so excited for Andrea, it's been a long journey even this far for her!

Met with a wonderful doctor yesterday for my Psyche eval.... very cool, we went over so much stuff and she gave me her green light....

We also were able to discuss the difficulties I've had in my new office.... Just when I think things are getting better, some idiot rears her ugly head. I actually had a rep recieve a bad review and she blamed it all on her assistant...me? So I got re-assigned and a little "un-pep talk". I'm too through with this Comcast vs Adelphia bullshit in my office-- it's so like a three ring circus-- too much drama for this girl:cool:

It's actually been four months since my initial consult with Dr. McCoglan and today it was my honor to meet the Dr. who would be doing the cutting: Dr. Carson Liu.

He answered my every question and I felt so much peace. I'm excited about my lapband and can't wait till insurance gives me the green light.

My friend Andrea got her okay yesterday....YAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Andrea is a sweetheart and I'm glad she held on a little longer. I so can't wait to see our transformations.

Today it was also my honor to meet Holly. Holly had the procedure in August and she answered so many questions and even let me see her scars (what scars) and feel her port. I'm so very excited to get this done.

Another thing going well is things at my work. I believe me and my manager have come to an understanding. This is not a vanity thing for me. This is all about being healthy and re-gaining my life. I'm happy in all aspects....

Now if I can only get my love life together LOL:p

Frustration multiply by 10….

So yesterday I was happy, I would meet with my primary doctor and have him to a physical exam and EKG on me….

Sound simple huh? Should have been….

After the embarrassment of having my “flab” out and being topless for this EKG…

I contacted my medical coordinator with Dr. to ask him for a fax number for my primary Dr. so my primary could send him the results of my EKG.

I may have called him on his cell phone, my bad:decision: …. But after all the hoops I’ve been jumping through I didn’t expect rudeness on his behalf…

Short of long…I needed to have a treadmill stress test! I wanted to scream!:censored:

Then I tell the doctor this and she was P’d Off at me:mad: and said if you don’t know what tests you need to have, you need to have your surgeon’s office provide us with a letter saying, “Desiree needs this and this and this…”

Then of course to add the cherry on the top of my Sundae, my office called in a frantic, “We can’t find this…when will you be back?!”

I'm so tired:tired and depressed and want some Pad Thai and sushi:hungry:

Thus was my wonderful day!

Desirée

I have a pre-screening appointment on Friday "Thank You Jesus!" I also had a talk with our HR director about my idiot manager who's had problems with me going to the doctor "All the time"...

I can't wait to have this done

I have a lot more planning for my surgery today. I have so much inspiration and ideas from Lapbandtalk.com members.

My friend Sue is just so awsome. She knows how scared I am because I'm doing this by myself. :cry She's gonna take care of me after my surgery and she is so dear to my heart. She had the bypass surgery last year. My other friend Andrea is so awsome too, she is having the same surgery with Dr. Liu and said she'll take me to the appointment.

I can't thank the Rogers enough. I met them yesterday when I had my appointment fiasco-- What a sweet kind mother and daughter:love: . I wish my mom was so here for me like that

Well.....gotta jet

Desi

Today was so stressful....I went to see Dr. Liu, not aticipating that my appointment had been cancelled....

This week has been difficult with the "Maniac" questioning how much time I've been taking off for my doctor's visits. If you have a good superviser, treasure them and if you have one like mine....:faint:

I hav to scramble this week and have loads of tests done so I can still have my surgery mid January...just a little stressed now, but eventually I'll be able to exhale:clap2: