Steeners

I've been overweight all of my life. I can remember going to the doctor in elementary and middle school, being told I needed to lose weight. Once I got to high school, I pretty much hovered right around 170-180. Well, at the end of my junior year of college I met my husband, and I imagine it was a combination of being happy and going out all the time, but quickly ballooned past 200 pounds. By the time we were married 2 years later, I weighed 250 pounds. Shortly after we were married, my mom died suddenly and a few months later, my father was in a bad car accident that put him in the hospital for months. Before I knew it, I weighed 300 pounds! So let me backtrack a little bit. I love food. I've ALWAYS loved food. I come from an Italian family, and everything is an excuse to eat--got an A on that test? Let's eat! You had a fight with your friend? Let's eat! You cleaned your room? Let's eat! For this very reason, I never seriously considered any type of WLS. I loved food too much. Unfortunately, it didn't really love me back. I've done Weight Watchers, LA Weight Loss, diet pills... I could always get a few pounds to come off, but never ever kept them off. Now we live in Korea, land of ridiculously skinny people who call you fat if they can't see your bones. My husband and I decided we wanted to have a baby, but after 9 months of no success, I went to the doctor to see what (if anything) was up. Lo and behold, I was diagnosed with PCOS and it's like the heavens opened and angels were singing. While I was quite upset to realize I wouldn't be able to have a baby just because I decided I wanted one, I was strangely happy to at least have a diagnosis for a)not having success in our baby-making endeavors, and b)why it was so difficult for me to lose weight. My doctor would not help me get pregnant until I lost some weight, at least 10 pounds. Knowing that it would take months for me to lose that bit of weight, I started looking for more help.And this is why I decided to go the lap-band route. Not only do I want to have a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy, but I want to be healthy for my future children. I want to have energy and not be the "fat mommy" at the playground. I want to feel sexy and beautiful and not be taking medication for cholesterol and pre-diabetes. I want to shop in normal stores, in normal departments. I don't want to worry about fitting into the rides at amusement parks, or chairs with narrow arms. I think it's worth ending my love affair with food in order to have a long and happy life. And that's my story.