NurseShay

Love it!! You have a very inspiring and motivating attitude! I found myself spiraling out of control lately and made my way back on here for a kick in the butt. And I totally know what you mean about Lane Bryant sizing- everything is off and their weird green yellow blue sizes dont make sense either. I loved my trainer who sadly quit working at 24hr fitness but he was a great educator and pushed me through those dreaded plateaus and into twoderville from 380 so Ill love him forever. But I went from a 52H to currently a 46DD and the skin? is not so pretty. I think I lost 20lbs in my boobs alone!lol But a good supportive bra and eventually a lift will fix that and I wouldnt trade my deflated boobs for anything. You show those pounds who's boss! Best of luck hun!

Wow. Sounds like you have a lot going on in your life. I am sorry to hear how alone you are feeling but try to remember that there are so many people going through alot of the same issues that you are- reach out for support in place of that comfort food. I know it is much easier said than done but if you can do it just once a day it will minimize the negative effects of your emotional eating habits. Surround yourself with supportive people who won't judge you- even if it comes from the forum instead of people in your life. I went 3 months at a time on 2 different occasions without seeing so much as a pound loss and the less progress I saw the more I felt like it was pointless and it wouldn't hurt if I slacked off in the gym or snacked a little more since I wasn't losing anyways. I found myself eating with my emotions instead of my logic and then feeling guilty about it and doing the ol hide the evidence routine too so I know how that feels. This band only works with our discipline. But dont be too hard on yourself for slipping up- even for alcoholics the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. You've done that much. Changing your life won't happen over night and it won't come naturally but you can do it with alot of effort and focus. Stay inspired and stay hungry for your life instead of just hungry for food. "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." If its an option for you, lean on your faith as much as possible and pray for strength and guidance. Im not married but Im sure it's not easy having to balance your need to take care of yourself with your duties to take care of your husband but I would think its impossible for you to give of yourself to your husband what you dont have to give. Judging by the way you speak of his surgery Im thinking its not something too critical? But if it is I guess that comes with the territory to deal with his issue first if it is more critical but if you were approved to be banded your health issues could be critical too. Just try not to lose yourself in all this chaos. You have every right to take the time out that you need for yourself to be healthy and happy. You have as much obligation to yourself as your husband so don't feel guilty about that. But it may do you some good to open up to your husband and let him know how you're feeling and come up with a plan to deal with both of your battles together so its not just all on you to care for him and yourself and therefore push you into the comforting arms of food. Focus on the good and not just the bad- you said the scale hasn't moved so at least you're NOT gaining! Thats a victory in itself for those of us fighting the battle of the bulge. Sorry I can't be of more help but if you ever need someone to vent to or an accountablity buddy feel free to message me. Dont hold in your feelings or they'll just show up on the scale. Best of luck and stay strong! You may have lost that particular battle with yourself but you havent lost the war. My prayers go out to you and your husband!