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Linda, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know my thoughts are with you. A young man at my husbands work passed away also. Makes you reflect on your self when it is someone young and healthy.

Oh yes I must say HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVA.

Evening all, Gotta make this quick as I have alot of school work. Made it to the doc today. I have strep throat and it was the birth control pills making me feel faint. He took me off them and asked me to take a baby asprin. I am not sure how my band will like that but The doc is concerned about blood clotting. I am a bit disappointed cause I liked them better than the alternative. But it is what it is. Hubby went with me today and the doctor checked him for strep too. We both have it. Hubby's boss is making strides to lessen the hours my husband is working. He will have to work some days and nights but will have 3 days off a week. Hopefully they implement that soon. The stress has him so worn out he has bloody diarrhea. Doc knows about that too and gave advice for him to take immodium if it doesn't improve he will be going and having some test run. I have known this doc for so long he told my husband I look a bit worn down.

I don't take blood pressure pills. Just my mental health stuff and just recently started birth control. TOM is visiting too. I feel a bit sick this morning. Coughing once in a while but light headed like I took something. The doc will probably just say it was the heat but I was soaking wet from the pool and my Dad spraying me and Jake with the hose. I made an appt so we will see. Good news on the school front. I got an A on today's exam. Boy was I sweating it. There were 7 questions I was unsure about but I only missed 3. I am so thrilled that all that work I put in paid off.

Also so proud to see all the pictures posted.

Hey Gang, Went to my Dad's house today to hang out around the pool. It was fun but kinda weird. I saw him frenching 2 women within 2 minutes of each other and right infront of the other. I asked my sister which one was he dating and she said don't ask cause I don't get it either. Really weird. Makes me think twice about going over there. Also 2x's today I about fainted. I was talking with my Dad while we were cleaning things with the Water hose and everything got blurry and I could hear my Dad but I couldn't comprehend him. I checked my Blood pressure, It is a bit lower than what I usually am but not out of bounds. I also had finished half a hot dog about 10 minutes prior so I don't think it was blood sugar related. If it happens again I will be calling the doctor. But I am really baffled by it. Lapbanders aren't dumpers, right?

Hey gang, as I was reading my last post to yall I realized my grumpyness is probably related to PMS and the new BC pills I am on. I haven't been on the pill in 10 years. Guess I am a bit naive about their mood effects. Wondering too if they effect my concentration. As I was studying today the words were just getting all blurry and I found myself rereading over and over. Julie, I remember when I first got my band I had to make a huge adjustment. Learning my new limits and reteaching myself what was a portion size for the band. Mentally I would get frustrated to see only 3 bites would fit before I pbed. I think that you are going through the same sort of "adjustment" period. Just in another way. You have been doing this for so long but now the net is gone and your worried your gonna fail. I have faith in you. Just get through this adjustment period and use it as a chance to prove to yourself you can accomplish this. When we take that leap without the net is when we feel the greatest sense of accomplishment. The band was only a tool. You did most of the work. You earned that 100 pound loss. Plus I know if I allow myself to worry I begin to eat. I really wish you didn't have to do this but I know you can. I am cheering for you.

Hey Gang, Thanks for the advice. I did talk to hubby and he is trying to work something out. He is working 85 hours a week and doesn't know how to handle the situation. He did put his application in at the anheuser-busch plant. I told him he needs to just put his foot down with his boss and tell him he won't work that many hours. I don't know if he will or not but I have to let him handle it. Jake is going to GM's. I did have some time yesterday and I got quite a bit done. I only have 1 more actual assignment and the rest is just preparing for my exam. When I went to clinical rounds on wed my professor was very understanding and said not to worry about the extra assignment. My other professor sent me feedback on my extra assignments and she was impressed. I can tell it helped because as I do practice questions I am getting more correct than usual. I am also going for a Med check monday to see if my doctor can lend me any help with concentration. I am very frustrated and grumpy. Which is a tough state to be in when you are caring for a child. He will enjoy his time with GM this weekend and maybe I can reboot. Thanks for listening to me and not being judgmental.

Even if you don't use facebook, you can post the pictures to your lapbandtalk album and use the same instructions to get your URL code. The picture just needs to be uploaded to the internet somewhere so that it is assigned a URL code. I missed a clinical round today because my babysitter (brother) over slept. So I am gonna have an extra assignment on top of my other extra work. Honestly life is burning me out lately. Hubby works all evening and night. 85 hours a week. He gets in bed right as my alarm goes off. After class I get maybe an hour to study before I have to get Jake from school. He makes it so hard to get anything done. He is always wanting me to watch this or look at that, help him with this and that. I just feel like shutting down. I think I am really. With all this schoolwork I should be plucking away at it but I am putting it off. My mind is just fuzz. I thought the vacation would be helpful but I feel just the same as I did before vacation. Maybe I need to send Jake to Grandmas this weekend so I can get somethings accomplished.

Hey Meredith, I am in Florida too so if you have time and are near Jacksonville I would love to meet you.

I uploaded the pictures to facebook first. Once they are uploaded to the internet they are given a url code. You will need this url code to post them. To get it right click on the picture and a menu will appear. Select Properties from that menu and you will see the url code. Copy it. Come here to the area where you type your post and there is a little link on the toolbar that looks like a picture of a beach (beneath the font size). Click on that and a box will appear. Paste your url code into that box and click on "insert image" and you've got it. Just try it a few times and you'll get the hang of it. It is somewhat complicated and I don't understand why they set it up this way. We use to be able to share pictures so easily. Pictures really are an important part of our journey. They give us a fresh, less distorted view of ourselves. Speaking of that. I still keep getting clothes that are too big. I see the smaller clothes and don't recognize them as my size still. My MIL gave me a couple shirts she thought should fit and I was surprised when they did. We are actually the same size and yet I see her as being alot thinner than me. If that makes sense. On the cruise ship I saw my reflection and thought it was another person walking behind me. I don't see the weightloss until I look at a picture. In the mirror I see the same thing I did 50-60 pounds ago. It's really strange. We went shopping in the bahamas and I carried a backpack that weighed about 5- 10 pounds. I was really getting tired of carrying it cause it felt heavy but then the thought hit me, I had been carrying around 6-12 times that weight before the lapband. Really I am still carrying 6-12 times that weight now. I can't imagine how I am gonna feel to get this off. I wonder too how I will be able to run.

Hey Gang, I am back from my cruise. I had a blast. It was so relaxing and exciting at the same time. I ate well and didn't gain any weight. Probably cause I did alot of dancing. I rode a jetski in key west. That was the most fun of the whole trip. Jake rode with me so Hubby could really ride without throwing him off. He was scared when I first got up to speed but by the end I heard little giggles coming from behind me. Those are the best. We had lots of quailty time. Here are some pictures. these are from our formal night. I was surprised to get on the scale this morning and see I hadn't gained. I had a ton of school work to do and worked on it an hour at a time throughout the cruise. I finally got part 1 finished today. It was so much work. Took me so long. Now my professor is gonna send it back with notes on where I need to spend more time studying. I hope my grade comes up after all this time and effort I put in. Hubby also fixed my new motorcycle so I my feet could touch the ground. It was way to tall for me. It fits perfect now and I have been crusin all over town on it. I love it. It is so easy to manuver. I am gonna ride it to school in the morning. I can't wait.

Hey Gang, I have been so busy. I have a ton of extra school work due in a week. I am also preparing for our cruise and I did end up buying that new motorcycle. We are going riding on it today hopefully if it don't rain. DH will be lowering it to my height next weekend so for now I am riding passenger on it. He is loving riding my bike while his is down for maintenance. We leave for our cruise tommorrow. I have only 4 pair of shoes packed. I will be taking my school work with me. I really must bring up my grade.

I am doin better today thank you. I just got a little stressed when my teacher sent me an email about my low test scores. She wants to see my study notes. And wants me to meet with the tutor for the program. If I hadn't studied I would understand but I really worked on this last test. Nursing students are infamous for never opening the books for their prenursing classes. I didn't really use my books last semester. I just learned from lecture. I guess I just lack study skills. I get distracted easily, I can read through things and not remember what it was I read. Which frustrates me. With my husband working in the evenings I have to deal with my son and it takes away from my concentration. The dirty dishes and laundry irritate me until I just give up and do them. I can't study with housework calling. I am thinking about getting a study partner and studing in the library after class. That way I can't do laundry and dishes. On a higher note, I LOVE THE OR. I spent the day in surgeries and it was awesome once you get use to the smell of cauderized flesh. I saw them do a femoral artery bypass and join an artery and vein in the arm (for dialysis). I wanna go there everyday for rounds. One things that does bother me as I get to spend more time with healthcare providers I realize there is a real lack of compassion for obese people. I get so tired of hearing fat jokes. It is an accepted prejudice and it irritates me. I also put money down on my first motorcycle today. I will be signing the paperwork Friday since it's my only "day off".

Ok so its time to admit it, I am struggling in the course I am taking right now. I failed last weeks test and this week was right on the line of failing. After last week I really put extra study effort in for todays exam. I felt really confident in all my answers too. I thought I atleast had a B. ended up with the lowest grade I could get and still pass. My average for the class is still passing due to all the other assignments. Now as if I wasn't stressed enough, My teacher gave me additional assignments to ensure I learn the material for the next exam. Looks like my books are coming on my cruise with me. Jake is also on new meds and I am having a hard time handling him. My husband is working night shift so he refuses to do anything around the house and I feel like I am raising my son by myself. I just wanna do anything right now besides what I need to do. I am close to just going to bed and accomplishing nothing. That is how I got depressed in the first place. I can tell you right now, I am going on strike as far as hubby is concerned. I have asked him many times to pickup the slack and he just wants to wine about never having a day off. Shit, I never do. What grown up has a day off. If your not at work then there is plenty around the house to do besides battling some anonymous kids online for the most points so you can have a bigger imaginary gun. Maybe I should hide the cord to the xbox. I tried to take jake for a bike ride to blow off some steam, get some exercise and spend time together. We got about a mile out and he threw a huge fit. He continued all the way home until I told him he was going to bed @6:30 cause that's when babies go to bed. Do you know how hard it is to get 2 bikes and a fit throwing 6 year old a mile? A few times I just wanted to spank him. I guess I got the exercise. My son was never like this until we started giving him these meds. Now he just won't be nice to us. Sorry to vent here but I gotta get this ugliness out of me.

Cheri, I wasn't sure if I should count Protein shakes. Thanks for answering my question even before I asked. My urine is on the light side so your probably right. When I first went to the surgeon (even before surgery) a staffer asked my weight and calculated that I needed 11 glasses of Water. No way. There is no perfect formula that works for everyone. I just gotta feel it out for myself. I have an exam in the morning. I studied more this time cause my last test I didn't do too well. I hope it goes better.

Thanks everyone, You all are so uplifting. I am having a really good time eating wise. Eatting healthy. Need to get more Water in though. I am already peeing all the time but I still don't reach the 8 glasses. The hardest days are tues and wed which are clinical days. I don't have anywhere to keep stuff. They ask us not to bring things to clutter the break room and there is no water fountain. So I have to start with it after I get out. Gonna get back to my running plan today. My calves were sore all week so I had to give them a rest. I think it's time to get back to it. I also started the 5 day pouch test today. I am having a hard time judging when the restriction kicks in and someone said this helps. I really wanna be at goal when I graduate so I am gonna be working hard at this. I can lose 70 by december. It's just gonna take some effort.

This is great. I will tell you. Weight loss does change you and everyone you connect with. For me it has been for the better. I am not hiding from the world anymore. I spend more time being active with my family and they love it. I am not embarassed at my size anymore, even though I am still obese. I am proud because I earned this size. I am still very compassianate but also accomplished and fullfilled. I am proud of where I am at cause I know the hard work it took to get here. I love what you had to say here.

Linda- I did receive the email. Thank you. Julie- So glad to hear from you. It is encouraging to hear you were able to get out and that your gonna stick with us. You have such a way about you that's compassionate even when your "teaching" me. lol I have lost 5 pounds since last saturday. I am so proud of the progress I made this week. Should I hope for another 5 prior to our cruise on the 28th? Wouldn't say it's outta the question. I can tell the more I lose the more willing I am to stick to the plan. I am being fueled with every pound I drop. I am getting prepared for my cruise. I have already bought a couple new pairs of shoes/sandals. I plan on getting a pedicure tommorow. I am borrowing the luggage I need. Ordered some Water proof cameras. Also signed Jake up for the youth camp on board. We are all so excited. This is our first cruise and vacation without the inlaws. Hope all is well.

Evening everyone, I am down 3 pounds this week. It feels good to see that I can do this without that controling Dr. Really I have lost 6 pounds the past 2 weeks. Hoping for another 3 before my cruise. I have to look good in my 2 piece bathingsuits. Also have a great dress for the Captains dinner. Can't wait to post those pics for you guys. My hubby and son will be matching too. So cute that Jake wants to be like Daddy. Here are some pics of recent stuff. The first is from my last 5k. Second is from my first 5k. Third is just a pic of me today. I have found that I don't need the plus size store anymore. There is a store here called Ross. It sells really cute stuff in my size. The plus size stores are too big. Again I am in the final strech to onederland. I can't believe I gave that up. I worked so hard for it. I'll get that again soon, I can taste it. I kinda forced myself into it last time, Rushed it. I didn't eat hardly anything over christmas to get there. It was a weird feeling to be there. Really it is a weird feeling just to be here. I can walk in a room and not be the fatest. I can feel comfortable in a group of pretty and skinny girls. Even though I am still fat, I feel pretty. When I did my presentation thursday I looked HOT! Everyone complimented on how great I looked. Everyone also knows how hard I work out. I was talking about my band the other day and someone said "yeah, but you also work out a ton don't you?" It was great to have my hard work acknowledged. Julie, I miss you. Feel free to call if it is easier than being on the computer. Your like a momma to me.