LEXUS86985

It took me a very very long time to even consider having weight loss surgery. I was so against it for so long. I felt like it was failure to not lose weight on my own. But obviously at 37... I had failed enough!!! I had to face the reality that if I hadn't lost the weight by now...I probably never would if I didn't get help!!! At the time of my consulation, my mom had been battling cancer for about 4 months. It was an up and down rollercoaster that I chose to ride ... and I rode in the FOOD CAR!! I gave myself free reign to eat whatever I wanted because I was upset!! But as times got harder...I felt worse and worse. I didn't know how long she would be sick. It could have gone on for 2 years!!! And at the rate I was gaining weight...she would have outlived me!!! I felt like I needed to do something quickly to make a turnaround so I could be the best I could be for her sake.

I work for an insurance company and came across this doctor...so I researched and saw some things I liked about him. He was soo nice!! Everyone in that office is sooo nice!! He told me weight loss surgery is NOT failure. Some people are predisposed to be overweight. I never thought of it like that. So while I was still deciding on whether or not to have surgery...I went ahead with my other appointments. I just kept moving forward.

Unfortunately my mom passed away 2 weeks after my consulation with my surgeon. That was the worst thing that could have possibly happened to me!! But I made the decision to move forward. For the first time in my life...I didn't allow my situation or circumstances to affect what I needed to do. No more excuses! My whole life had been once excuse after another. But with the Lap Band, I have the "TOOL" I needed to be successful. Do I still get upset...YES. Do I still want to eat when I get upset...YES. Can I eat anything and everything to supress the pain....NOPE!!! That's the key!!! I can no longer physically eat that much!! And it's not like...oh my god I want more and I can't have it and this sucks!!! It's like...Ok...I'm full... I'm going to stop eating now. But I am still living my life and I enjoy food!!! I have always been a "foodie"... I enjoy fresh ingredients and whole foods. And Yes I still eat dessert...but it has to be something FABULOUS!! All in all...I'm so glad I made the decision to have the surgery and I would highly recommend it to anyone!!! Take the first step and have a consultation with a surgeon!!! It just might change your life!! :cursing:

I walked out of the house this morning in a pair of light weight khaki pants... of course I was late... so I could do NOTHING about the fact that my pants were halfway down my butt as I walked to my car!! :cursing: It's a good feeling to know that my clothes don't fit because they are TOO BIG!!! Fortunately I do have some really nice stuff in smaller sizes. I've been so afraid to get rid of anything for the fear of gaining weight again. But Just when I think that will happen...I lose more weight. I'm looking forward to the summer for the first time in a very very long time!!!

It's also mother's day this Sunday...and it will be the first since my mom passed away in July. This surgery has been the best thing I could have done for myself. Even though I have bad days, I can no longer use food to avoid feeling my emotions!! That was what I was hoping would happen for me. So I have to deal with what I am feeling. I miss her so much...and sometimes I feel bad that I don't miss her enough!! I wish she could be here to see me now because she was always my biggest supporter!!! But I think if I can be proud of myself...she would be even more proud of me!! :cursing:

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms!!

So this past Saturday I actually went through that dreaded process of pulling out the spring/summer clothes!! I was trying to hold off until I moved, but I'm soooo glad I did it now!! For the first time I was excited because I KNEW all of those clothes were going to fit!! I was running late, but I had to try everything on!! I literally had a 4 ft by 3 ft pile of 90% brand new with tags still on them clothes!!!! And the kicker....some of them are TOO BIG!!!! But hell...I'm going to wear everything just once!!!! It's such an amazing feeling!! I drove out to Long Island for the weekend feeling better than I have felt in such a long long time!!!

Today I came to work in a one of my new "outfits". This guy I work with who has never said anything to me about my weight loss watched me walk in. He was watching me as I came around to my desk. Then he said, "HOW much weight HAVE you DROPPED??" LOL... um 72ish?? He was amazed...he said that with what I Was wearing that you can really really see it now!!! Awwww... I feel even better!!!

Just when you think it won't work....look again because chances are ...it probably already has!!

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Feeling much better today. It seems that once I realize what the cause of my stress is...regardless of whether I can do anything about it... I feel better. Just knowing the cause it a relief!! So now I'm 6 days after my 2nd adjustment (well 2nd, 3rd & 4th) ... and I'm finally able to drink without pain. I'm still taking it slowly as far as eating is concerned. Egg salad, tuna salad, cottage cheese, yogurt etc. Keeping it soft just in case. I am in love with shadybrook farm turkey meatballs!!! As an italian with the mac daddy meatball recipe... I highly approve of these. They are nothing like MY meatballs, but as far as turkey products are concerned...they are GREAT!!! They have a little bit of spice, but just enough to make it interesting. The texture is great too. They are pretty low calorie vs beef products and they have a good amount of protein!!! They have been my "go-to" protein source!! Also, Jennie-O hot dogs are fabulous. A regular hot dog has about 170 calories each!! These have only 70 and taste just like a beef hot dog without the greasiness. And in my area... a package of the Jennie-O hot dogs is only $1!!! Crazy right?? Butterball makes a great Turkey Kielbasa too...that is awesome on the grill!! Shadybrook farms has good Sweet and Hot italian sausage... it's not bad. The texture isn't quite like pork sausage, but it's pretty decent!!

Anyone else have any secret foods they'd like to share???

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So here I am... almost 8 months after having the LAP-BAND® surgery. I've lost 72 pounds so far, and up until now I think it's been too easy. This should be difficult right?? I think the losing weight part has been easier than what's happening inside my head. I always thought that losing weight was the beginning of everything. I would have more confidence, I would be able to get a better job, get more respect, etc etc etc. So far... all I've gotten are a bunch of pants that hang off the back of my ass!! :-) Losing weight before has always been exciting!! Like, WOW, my pants fit even after being in the dryer on HIGH. For some reason it doesn't have the same emotional high as it once did. Maybe my expectations are too high. I've lost an average of 10 pounds per month...that's great!! I'm actually a weight that I haven't been down to in over 15 years!! That's great too!! But I've realized that it's not just about losing weight. I'm still stressed about money, still hate my job, still can't get the respect I deserve and still see myself as the fat girl. Anyone out there...does this get better?? I'm certainly not upset that I had the surgery... I just want my head to catch up with my body!!!

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