Approved: but is it worth the time, $ and commitment?
· Wandering Woman · 11/04/2009 18:46
New Here. I'm schedualed to get my lapband on Dec 10th. I'm questioning everything. And eatting everything in sight because I'm in turmoil. I have to pay for my band myself because my BMI (31) isn't high enough for insurance. I have about 50 pounds to loose. I would be much heavier if I didn't fight it so hard. Actually, I've gained 10 pounds this month just cause I'm not on yet ANOTHER diet. I excercise too which also lets me eat even more. I'm 31. I've tried every diet, OA, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, everything available and I'm sick of failing:frown:...which is why I went into the doctor to begin with (+pre-diabetic, PCOS).
BUT I'm also scared. Of complications, of never enjoying another meal, of not being able to go out to dinner, I think ultimatly I'm scared of not being able to comatose myself with food. What if I can't deal with my life?
I'm also worried it might not be worth the $, because I've read how sometimes people don't get the results that they want. I also have big boobs...will I loose them too? I know it sounds silly but I've always been a DD to an F.
On the other hand. I've never be thin (normal yes). At 14 I already weighed over 200lbs. I've bounced down a few times to maybe a size 12 for a few weeks, then back up to an 18. I get worried because my parents and aunts are all well over 350. I don't want to fight my weight and eatting for the next 40 years of my life.
Some people say "you're not big enough". Just because I'm only 50 pounds over, it doesn't mean that I've not had the struggles, self estem issues, hurt, and depression.
If you had to pay for it yourself would you still do it?
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