BayougirlMrsS

@@RyansGirl89 You know i have thought of that. He knows i would do most anything... but its getting to the point of no return. I know i don't have the same feelings... how can i. I really want to leave to get his attention, but im kinda stuck. We went on a cruise for the weekend on the 13th.... of course he bitched the whole time... but nothing.. we had a very nice room with a balcony... we live in Louisiana... so it departed from NOLA and as we watched the sun go down over the Mississippi... and the Greater new Orleans bridge... he never once touched me or attempted to come near me... i said.. it's cold.. he said... it sure is. i said want to come stand by me.. he said... nahhh im good.

I have said that too him... i put it on me saying .. i want to know what im doing wrong... but he still won't go. When i said i would get a partime job to pay for it... he said... You don't really want to do that... I feel like im beating my head against a wall. @@journeymeh how are things now?

I do... but the more time goes on the less i feel for him... Hell the 16th will be 25 years we have been married. I do work... 7-4 m-f. and his money and my money goes into the same account. He has a "side job" taking pic and that's His money that he puts in His account.

I think so too.... he will only do counseling if i pay for half.... Im tired of being a room mate and not a wife.

@@BigViffer Spot on..... i had tons of confidence when we met... hell i was all of 100lbs size 0. Your right the more i gained the less confidence i had the more control he had.... He and i have had this conversation many times i told him that very thing. I know i have changed... I own up to that... I guess i was just naive to think that our issue was all about the weight...

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch I didn't have to look at your profile to tell your from NY... its a lot harder typing then talking and yes i do communicate with him... i tell him how i feel. Now does he hear me.... who the F knows. He knows im a very affectionate person... I love kissing, holding, touching and of course all this mostly leads to sex... I get none of that. That was my point... @@BigViffer He has never supported my choice to have the band done. He had made ugly comments to me, like.... you are to thin... you look like a bag of bones, your face was prettier when you were fat because you couldn't see the wrinkles.... you losing weight was the worse thing ever. But im not going to gain weight to make him happy... I like where i am right now.

I don't think so... Im a very good spotter of gay and Lesbian. In fact most of my closest friends are.... and he mentioned that the other day.... My personality is very outgoing, happy, free, funny, snippy, in your face, sarcastic and i tell the truth to a fault. if you want to know the truth... just ask... lol This part will prob. be TMI... But....many people here have said.... Be aggressive or direct..... I can get out of the shower walk naked in front of him and Nothing.... i sleep naked every night and nothing.... i can pleasure myself with him in the bed next to me and NOTHING... Sad part is.... I have men and woman hit on me daily and the one person i want to ...Wont.

I know that i have changed... that is a fact. I own that and he knows that i do. Like i said... very direct and clear. Counseling... i begged for it.. he said and i quote.. Get a part time job and pay for half and i will go.

The sex before when i was thin.... was good. Never "earth" shattering. But it happened at least every saturday am. Then as the weight crept up the sex went down... it was not all him at this point. I had little desire, but i still put out and gave it my all... even when i was not in the mood. As far as it being a deal breaker.... im not sure if it is or not just yet. It's more the lack of intimacy on other levels that bothers me. no kissing, no hugging... very little physical contact. Trust when i say, i can handle things on my own.

and he takes cialis 5mg everyday.... I have talked to him. I make myself known when i want sex...

@@itstimealready Most of us vets have TT pic's on here... Lost of hard work and great surgeries...

@@Sophie74656 Have things gotten better? I hope you stand your ground and don't let them push you around. My friends say i have a huge set (balls) ... They just so happen to sit on my chest... It's funny how i can stand my ground with most anyone except my husband..... But that is changing....

@@Sophie74656 Ok... so my 2 cents for what it's worth.... which is 2 cents.... Bahahahaha..... If im getting this right, your husband and this "girl" were friends before and you came along and yall got married. YALL (you and he) got married. NOT the three of you. Your husband need to choose which female he is going to be loyal too.... you or her. Looks to me like he is choosing her over you already. My husband pulled a stunt on me like that ONCE... and when we got home i handed him his balls on a plate and said if you ever disrespect me like that again i will leave you right there. Did they have a sexual relationship before? If not, i bet she wants one... I would tell your husband to have a conversation with her about her behavior... and if he doesn't.... then you should. Lay it all out on the table... Just an FYI: the girl that my husband did this with was an ex GF.... and six months after i caught them texting and he refused to show me what she sent him.... My gut says... they were either hooking up or fixing too. Just keep your eyes open and watch for the red flags.....

@@Subie66 i still have it... i drink one a day.... i can't stop

I could not have said this better.... I have said to most people who are contemplating WLS..... Be prepared to lose friends.... As much as a you try, some woman can't handle YOUR changes. You said she is a "normal" size woman. She is one of those that is just envious of you and im sure of others too. But, Men are attracted to woman of confidence. You have it and she does not. Size is not the issue... she is the issue. I would not confront her. If you do you will let her know that you are validating her issues with her self. and she will probably turn it around on you and make you feel bad.... Say nothing... to anyone, not even the other friends. Because, trust me, they are all wagging their tongues.... by the way, you are a stunning woman and im sure men hit on you before... you just didn't see it.

@@BritAbroad congrats on taking the step to change your life. I have never regretted one day. Somedays i do miss some of the "old" foods. But all in all, i don't it is now just a way of life. Remember you will get of of this process what you put in. and if you work it, it will work for you. @@Julie norton Hey julie... just a few "oldtimers" left here. I have to admit, i liked this site better when we first got on. I miss some of our older LB family. Glad to hear that you are still doing great. @@Sharpie I say, your never to old to take back your life. I will more people would. Which ever way works for them. Glad to hear that you too are doing well. Keep up that great work....

I love love love soup.... some of my fav. Broccoli and cheese from Applebees, Tortilla from Chili's (i tell them no chicken), Wendy's chili is a good one. cream of crab is good. Veggie-beef soup (i don't eat the meat). try those

it's the only way i know how to be....

@@KindaFamiliar Lol. I know right. Such a bad influence

@@RILEYSMOM22 I know you mean well..... but nothing taste better that a grilled cheese.....EXCEPT A fried Bologna sandwich on toast... with mayo and little mustard...... Or maybe a Patty melt... with sauteed onions, mayo & cheese... Ok... enough of that... focus focus focus.

The Nerv of them..... I do miss toast... especially with eggs.... or a grilled cheese with Soup.... omg