ldswims

I have my water within arm's reach. Let's go! (Sarcasm dripping) Of course, I ALWAYS drink ALL of that water that's ALWAYS within arm's reach... I do better on weekends than during the week, which is funny. During the week I have to sit at my desk. On the weekends I am always bouncing around. You'd think it would be harder in bouncy mode....

In addition to the missing protein, keep in mind that fat is what makes you feel full. Don't be afraid of the fats - just be selective. Olive oil and vinegar, for example, instead of salad dressing. Or add avocados. The protein will carry you further, the fat will sustain you short term. 40% of your diet should be protein, 30% fats (HEALTHY fats) and the rest carbs - but try to make those carbs "the naturally growing" kind. I am pre-band myself and I am working on getting used to eating protein first followed by the veggies. For some of my veggies, afternoon snack, for example, I dip them in homemade hummus - which is higher in protein as well. I'm finding that I was severely lacking in my protein intake and with trying to increase that, I am being sustained longer between meals. If you want to know where you are as far as protein/fat/carb intake, check out www.fitday.com and start tracking it....amazing what I discovered there, I think.

I love your blogs, too - and especially your superstar story! That's awesome! I hope you are enjoying your success - it sure sounds like you are!

Are you self-pay or are you going through insurance? Have you had your consultation? They will be able to answer this question for you - it's so very different for everyone.

Since I am posting to explain 12th Man, I want to start with - yesterday I read another blog of yours - from June I believe. You had been out in the yard all weekend working working working. And over that weekend you gained 4 pounds. By the end of the week it was gone and a few more dropped. So I think this might be like that - it was a different activity. If your body gets used to something, it stops reacting as well if at all. So when you change it up - it says "what" and goes into starvation mode. And when it realizes you were just being different - it says "ok, here you go". I predict an overall loss at the end of this week. :confused: (Eeeks, I hope I'm not just spewing forth words here.) Ok, 12th Man. It's actually patented. The Seattle Seahawks tried to steal it from us a few years ago and we took em to court. That's another story. 12th Man was born in 1922 when our football team had all of 11 players. If anyone of them had been injured we would have had to forfeit the game. So E. King Gill stood up and suited up and said "coach, I'm ready if you need me". No one was injured and we went on to win the game, but ever since, all students must stand through the entire game to let the coach and the team know that the fans are there if they are needed. We also create a buzz by constantly yelling "A" when the opponents offense is on the field. It gets so loud in there that when they are in a huddle they cannot hear the quarterback talk. I am a former student (no, not an alum) and so technically am an "elephant" and no longer need to stand. But most alum do still stand - especially those of us that pay to remain on the student side. Our entire east side of the stadium is student seating save two sections. We are known for getting that stadium rocking - when we sing our "Fighting Texas Aggie War Hymm" at one point in the song we lock arms and legs and start to sway. Announcers have gotten sick from that "swaying" and claim that the stadium is moving. Aren't you glad you asked? I'll stop here even though there's a ton more I can tell you!

Read Band_Groupie's blog.

I wrote up a really nice blog. I was happy with it. It was great, IMO. I was ready to post and I was reviewing it for the typos that always get through in spite of knowing better. And then it happened. My gosh-darned IE FROZE. Dead as a doornail. Couldn't do a gall-derned thing. And there it went. LOVE the computer... So I am going to try and replicate the great news in a great blog as best as I can. But you know how it is - the second version - from scratch - is never as good as the first. Great thing number one - my husband and I got some news last night that totally has me relaxed about my "insurance issues". I now KNOW that I won't be the reason this doesn't happen. My ducks are in a row and things are good. I felt like I was getting signs that were telling me to question this whole thing. And now I feel like I've got the sign that says go forth and be successful. Furthermore, go forth and be successful and shoot for the April banding! So I feel better. Great thing number two. And here is where I can't do this rewritten blog justice. I will certainly try too hard to capture what I had there - and that will mean that I've tried too hard and the message will be lost. Love the computer. ^&*$($^(&%&&^*()^%&$^&*$^*:confused: So here's my re-effort... A bit of background. I've been working my way through another blog on here - a blog by band_groupie. It is an amazing blog that is very well written, very amusing, very personal, very real! She does a lot of research for quite a lot of her blogs and she is quite able to articulate what I believe many struggle with even identifying. Her blog has been an eye-opener for me. It's also pointed out places where I am doing well, IMO. I totally recommend, at the very least, checking it out. I know there are other fantastic bloggers on here and I expect to find them and wander through their journey, too. To be honest, I appreciate band_groupie's opinion, perspective and insight - I think her approach to the band is successful because of those three things and I think I can always learn how to form better opinions, have a more positive perspective and insight is always great - the more insights I can read/hear about the better able I will be to form better opinions and maintain a positive perspective. With that said (and I'm telling you, this rewrite is totally NOT doing justice to the original blog lost somewhere in cyberspace), band_groupie (and I know many others, because she got this from somewhere, herself) talks about www.fitday.com in a few of her blogs. And here's great thing number two. So I wandered off to www.fitday.com to see for myself. And I decided to play with it while I'm on this "unweightloss" journey. I so totally was not expecting what I have now learned. I have been tracking what I'm eating each day on that website for about a week now. I learned last week while visiting the nutritionist that for my current weight I should be consuming about 90 grams of protein per day. On my best day in this past week or so that I've been tracking this, I consumed 63 grams. I am nowhere near where I should be. And oh nelly, that actually makes things start to make sense! I have been proclaiming left and right that my calorie intake is already pretty low. And it is. My highest day was a little over 1300 calories - and that was a "binge" day for me. But of those calories, the majority are coming from carbs and fat. I never would have expected that. NEVER!!! So now I have something to work with and play around with. Of course, this being my "unweightloss" period, I can only do so much. But this is the perfect time for me to be adjusting to this - not later, I think. Ugh, I wish I had my original blog back - because there were other things I pointed out and now for the life of me, I can't even remember what they were, so I can't even try to rewrite them. Let me just say again, band_groupie's blog is quite educational, it's fun to read and it's a great place to really learn what this process is really like. She does a great job of articulating each new discovery on her path. This process is necessarily life changing - but if you never get into the introspective phase of self-examination, I predict struggles. By reading that blog, I think I am exposing new questions which I must ask myself. And the sooner I ask - the better! Every person's jouney will be different. Each body is unique and each's body's reaction to this process is different. Furthermore, each mindset is unique and that mindset is just as important, if not moreso, in determining success. The questions are quite important - even though the responses will all be different. So two things here. Check out www.fitday.com and band_groupie's blog. What a difference a day makes!

I wrote up a really nice blog. I was happy with it. It was great, IMO. I was ready to post and I was reviewing it for the typos that always get through in spite of knowing better. And then it happened. My gosh-darned IE FROZE. Dead as a doornail. Couldn't do a gall-derned thing. And there it went. LOVE the computer... So I am going to try and replicate the great news in a great blog as best as I can. But you know how it is - the second version - from scratch - is never as good as the first. Great thing number one - my husband and I got some news last night that totally has me relaxed about my "insurance issues". I now KNOW that I won't be the reason this doesn't happen. My ducks are in a row and things are good. I felt like I was getting signs that were telling me to question this whole thing. And now I feel like I've got the sign that says go forth and be successful. Furthermore, go forth and be successful and shoot for the April banding! So I feel better. Great thing number two. And here is where I can't do this rewritten blog justice. I will certainly try too hard to capture what I had there - and that will mean that I've tried too hard and the message will be lost. Love the computer. ^&*$($^(&%&&^*()^%&$^&*$^*:confused: So here's my re-effort... A bit of background. I've been working my way through another blog on here - a blog by band_groupie. It is an amazing blog that is very well written, very amusing, very personal, very real! She does a lot of research for quite a lot of her blogs and she is quite able to articulate what I believe many struggle with even identifying. Her blog has been an eye-opener for me. It's also pointed out places where I am doing well, IMO. I totally recommend, at the very least, checking it out. I know there are other fantastic bloggers on here and I expect to find them and wander through their journey, too. To be honest, I appreciate band_groupie's opinion, perspective and insight - I think her approach to the band is successful because of those three things and I think I can always learn how to form better opinions, have a more positive perspective and insight is always great - the more insights I can read/hear about the better able I will be to form better opinions and maintain a positive perspective. With that said (and I'm telling you, this rewrite is totally NOT doing justice to the original blog lost somewhere in cyberspace), band_groupie (and I know many others, because she got this from somewhere, herself) talks about www.fitday.com in a few of her blogs. And here's great thing number two. So I wandered off to www.fitday.com to see for myself. And I decided to play with it while I'm on this "unweightloss" journey. I so totally was not expecting what I have now learned. I have been tracking what I'm eating each day on that website for about a week now. I learned last week while visiting the nutritionist that for my current weight I should be consuming about 90 grams of protein per day. On my best day in this past week or so that I've been tracking this, I consumed 63 grams. I am nowhere near where I should be. And oh nelly, that actually makes things start to make sense! I have been proclaiming left and right that my calorie intake is already pretty low. And it is. My highest day was a little over 1300 calories - and that was a "binge" day for me. But of those calories, the majority are coming from carbs and fat. I never would have expected that. NEVER!!! So now I have something to work with and play around with. Of course, this being my "unweightloss" period, I can only do so much. But this is the perfect time for me to be adjusting to this - not later, I think. Ugh, I wish I had my original blog back - because there were other things I pointed out and now for the life of me, I can't even remember what they were, so I can't even try to rewrite them. Let me just say again, band_groupie's blog is quite educational, it's fun to read and it's a great place to really learn what this process is really like. She does a great job of articulating each new discovery on her path. This process is necessarily life changing - but if you never get into the introspective phase of self-examination, I predict struggles. By reading that blog, I think I am exposing new questions which I must ask myself. And the sooner I ask - the better! Every person's jouney will be different. Each body is unique and each's body's reaction to this process is different. Furthermore, each mindset is unique and that mindset is just as important, if not moreso, in determining success. The questions are quite important - even though the responses will all be different. So two things here. Check out www.fitday.com and band_groupie's blog. What a difference a day makes!

Congratulations! I hope you get a date soon and that this is everything you expect it to be.

Wow, you sound very fortunate. I hope all continues to go just like this! Congratulations for crossing over to the other side!

I hate insurance. I got slapped with another insurance problem yesterday but it is what it is and therefore that's it. For history's documentation, I'll just say our deductibles are determined by our "eligible compensation". 2008's eligible compensation will be used for 2010's deductible and OOP-Max determination. And since I work in the oil and gas industry and 2008 was a boom year for exploration - my "eligible compensation" was 40% more than it was this year, 2009. So next year I have the highest deductible possible, the highest OOP-Max possible - while making 40% less (at min) than anyone else that will be in that category. No, it's not the insurance company's fault on that one, that's my good ol' employer. And I understand the theory that my salary should always be rising. Doggoneit though I wish it were! I HATE THIS! We've had to make some very drastic cuts this year because of losing >40% of our income - and now to be slapped with this...just no pleasantness about it! Sigh. On with the world, though.... It is what it is. I just feel the need to gripe and whine today. I can't believe what a GRRR process this is and then to aggravate it with these insurance issues...and then time is ticking so so very slowly. Will this even be a possibility? I do not know. That remains to be seen. Given a 40% salary reduction that we are still struggling with and max possible deductions and OOP-Max's, well...this may be a stretch. And that just bites. But it will be next year before I know the answer to that. Which means to continue with this gall-derned "unweightloss" program. This program is so laughable to me. My unassurance company requires you to "fail". Why bother with the expense then? I think my problem is that I want to know how this all turns out! I've said before I don't deal well with uncertainty and it's still true. I've satisfied just about all the requirements my unassurance company has. Psych consult = done Nutritionist visit = done Letters of medical necessity from all following physicians = done Clearance from Cardiologist for a non-existent issue = done All I have left is a physical and letter of medical necessity by and from the surgeon and bloodwork (TSH test), as well as to fail the six month ridiculous "unweightloss" program. So why do all this if 1) turns out I can't afford it or 2) turns out my unassurance company will deny it or 3) who knows what kind of poppycock excuse they'll come up with. I want to feel like there is hope to work toward. And I do not. I want to feel like it is worthwhile and useful for me to continue with the "unweightloss" program. And I do not. I want to feel like I am moving forward. And I do not. I want to feel like five more months and I am officially onto a new life. And I definitely do not! Sigh. Is this unassurance quagmire a sign? Should I be on my husband's coverage aferall? That requires a 2 year history which I don't have...but it is better coverage. Will my husband get a new and better paying job negating all this worry I have about the financial issues? Do I pursue a new job myself? I hate that the business world has developed into a place where loyalty is no longer desired or even rewarded. I want to be loyal to a company. But I can't give them what they can't give me! I started with this company feeling as though - 'wow, they really want to take care of me'. Now that feeling is - 'wow, they really do not care about me!' I'd be fine if the pendulum swung to the middle - but it is now absolutely about the bottom line. Interestingly enough, moral is quite low. There will be repercussions for this, but when and how drastic are yet to be seen. I started today with the notion that I would be begging for time to speed up a smidge. If that would happen I could at least get closer to having some answers. But it's not so much about that as a true whine-fest. Not my normal modus operandi, I believe, but it is something that does happen with me periodically. And so now maybe I can get on with it. This is out of my system - although that isn't really true. This will fester with me for quite awhile. I feel like this whole year has been about being slapped down. And while my husband and I both are fortunate, thus far, in being able to keep our jobs, we are certainly, as are most everyone else, enduring a year we did not quite foresee. Will this - CAN THIS - turn around? I have to chuckle - I think my aggravation with the unassurance slaps is really because of all the fear and worry I am really feeling about everything else. I can generally roll with the punches pretty well - but sometimes the punches I react to are not really what I'm upset about.

I hate insurance. I got slapped with another insurance problem yesterday but it is what it is and therefore that's it. For history's documentation, I'll just say our deductibles are determined by our "eligible compensation". 2008's eligible compensation will be used for 2010's deductible and OOP-Max determination. And since I work in the oil and gas industry and 2008 was a boom year for exploration - my "eligible compensation" was 40% more than it was this year, 2009. So next year I have the highest deductible possible, the highest OOP-Max possible - while making 40% less (at min) than anyone else that will be in that category. No, it's not the insurance company's fault on that one, that's my good ol' employer. And I understand the theory that my salary should always be rising. Doggoneit though I wish it were! I HATE THIS! We've had to make some very drastic cuts this year because of losing >40% of our income - and now to be slapped with this...just no pleasantness about it! Sigh. On with the world, though.... It is what it is. I just feel the need to gripe and whine today. I can't believe what a GRRR process this is and then to aggravate it with these insurance issues...and then time is ticking so so very slowly. Will this even be a possibility? I do not know. That remains to be seen. Given a 40% salary reduction that we are still struggling with and max possible deductions and OOP-Max's, well...this may be a stretch. And that just bites. But it will be next year before I know the answer to that. Which means to continue with this gall-derned "unweightloss" program. This program is so laughable to me. My unassurance company requires you to "fail". Why bother with the expense then? I think my problem is that I want to know how this all turns out! I've said before I don't deal well with uncertainty and it's still true. I've satisfied just about all the requirements my unassurance company has. Psych consult = done Nutritionist visit = done Letters of medical necessity from all following physicians = done Clearance from Cardiologist for a non-existent issue = done All I have left is a physical and letter of medical necessity by and from the surgeon and bloodwork (TSH test), as well as to fail the six month ridiculous "unweightloss" program. So why do all this if 1) turns out I can't afford it or 2) turns out my unassurance company will deny it or 3) who knows what kind of poppycock excuse they'll come up with. I want to feel like there is hope to work toward. And I do not. I want to feel like it is worthwhile and useful for me to continue with the "unweightloss" program. And I do not. I want to feel like I am moving forward. And I do not. I want to feel like five more months and I am officially onto a new life. And I definitely do not! Sigh. Is this unassurance quagmire a sign? Should I be on my husband's coverage aferall? That requires a 2 year history which I don't have...but it is better coverage. Will my husband get a new and better paying job negating all this worry I have about the financial issues? Do I pursue a new job myself? I hate that the business world has developed into a place where loyalty is no longer desired or even rewarded. I want to be loyal to a company. But I can't give them what they can't give me! I started with this company feeling as though - 'wow, they really want to take care of me'. Now that feeling is - 'wow, they really do not care about me!' I'd be fine if the pendulum swung to the middle - but it is now absolutely about the bottom line. Interestingly enough, moral is quite low. There will be repercussions for this, but when and how drastic are yet to be seen. I started today with the notion that I would be begging for time to speed up a smidge. If that would happen I could at least get closer to having some answers. But it's not so much about that as a true whine-fest. Not my normal modus operandi, I believe, but it is something that does happen with me periodically. And so now maybe I can get on with it. This is out of my system - although that isn't really true. This will fester with me for quite awhile. I feel like this whole year has been about being slapped down. And while my husband and I both are fortunate, thus far, in being able to keep our jobs, we are certainly, as are most everyone else, enduring a year we did not quite foresee. Will this - CAN THIS - turn around? I have to chuckle - I think my aggravation with the unassurance slaps is really because of all the fear and worry I am really feeling about everything else. I can generally roll with the punches pretty well - but sometimes the punches I react to are not really what I'm upset about.

My husband and I both want to see a game at PSU. And OSU! I have a cousin who was in the band at OSU (my family is from Ohio, too) and being a Texas A&M Ag myself - I do love halftime shows! Course, A&M is on that top five list of best student sections, too. And my bias must show through somewhere - I don't think our student section can be beat. Come on - what's better than the 12th Man? Ok, I'm off my box. :confused: Odd to gain five pounds. Maybe it was less to do with the food and more to do with the activity? Doesn't seem possible with what you ate that you could have gained. Sounds like a fun weekend no matter what, though - and that's what you'll remember in the future. I'm telling you - THAT is what you'll remember. Repeat after me...you are getting very sleepy... Ok...I'm done. :confused:

Happy Blogiversary! And welcome back - great game this weekend, I hope you enjoyed - and I hope your son is holding up well. I hope you continue to blog. I love your stories and reading about a LP experience as applied in real life. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty - your blogs are priceless!

I am in League City, south of Houston...

Weekends are always the hardest time for me to continue watching what I eat, I think. During football season the downfall is beer and bar food. During the rest of the year the downfall is beer and bar food, but on a lesser scale. When you are sitting in front of the fantabulous tv we spent a fortune on last year you want to eat chicken wings and french fries. And you reason to yourself - how often does football season come along? Come on, enjoy... Ok...so not really. I'm exagerating. I generally can't sit still long enough to watch a game with my husband and I'm generally bouncing into the kitchen to make some something or another for the guys that accumulate in front of the amazingly fantabulous tv that cost a fortune. But I had a breakthrough nonetheless. Saturday mornings I can usually claim that tv for myself while the hubby snoozes away the morning. And I will watch one or two of the shows that I have dvr'ed over the week while I can. So yesterday, I sat down to watch one of those shows, all nuzzled up in a cozy throw with my doggie curled up in my arms. I was happy as a clam and snug as a bug in a rug. It's things like that that make me proclaim "I love the fall!" Towards the end of watching that show, an hour long but when you count in the fast forwarding through commercials, it turns into 40 minutes, I started to think to myself I've got the munchies. And then I asked myself the best question I've ever come up with for anything in life. "Why?" And I couldn't answer it. There was no answer. I was not hungry. I'd had a great breakfast and it was holding me over. It was nowhere near time for lunch. And when I realized all of that - I was fine. I went on with my morning. When the show was finished I moved myself to my computer to take care of the bills and such. As I was sitting here thinking about things, I realized I had the munchies again. By this time, I had eaten lunch and I had a fantastic glass of water sitting beside me. I interrupt this program to say "I have not had a soda in over two weeks now!" Back to the program at hand. So I ask myself again - that most awesome-ist of questions... "Why?" And I got the same result. I couldn't answer it. There was no answer. I was not hungry. I'd had a great lunch and it was holding me over. It was nowhere near time for dinner. And when I realized all of that - I was fine. From there the day progressed. Through watching football and the rest of the afternoon, I never did have a munchie moment again. I ate a dinner that was fantastic and quite satisfying. And then the day was over. I always munch on Saturday's and Sunday's! Today was not so successful. I made home made snickerdoodles last weekend. We freeze our cookies and pull out what we want when we want them. But when you have to thaw a cookie it makes you question whether you really want it - if you even remember they are there. So I had two cookies today. I did not eat a satisfying breakfast or lunch today and that equated to "needing" something this afternoon. But when I realized that, I did go for a more protein rich snack. So...interesting... Ironically, I generally give myself credit for being someone that doesn't eat unless I'm hungry. My mom said that about me, actually. But in this journey to being overweight, I am discovering, I rewrote my definition of hunger. I'd call that a break through. Can I get back to my once upon a time mentality?

Weekends are always the hardest time for me to continue watching what I eat, I think. During football season the downfall is beer and bar food. During the rest of the year the downfall is beer and bar food, but on a lesser scale. When you are sitting in front of the fantabulous tv we spent a fortune on last year you want to eat chicken wings and french fries. And you reason to yourself - how often does football season come along? Come on, enjoy... Ok...so not really. I'm exagerating. I generally can't sit still long enough to watch a game with my husband and I'm generally bouncing into the kitchen to make some something or another for the guys that accumulate in front of the amazingly fantabulous tv that cost a fortune. But I had a breakthrough nonetheless. Saturday mornings I can usually claim that tv for myself while the hubby snoozes away the morning. And I will watch one or two of the shows that I have dvr'ed over the week while I can. So yesterday, I sat down to watch one of those shows, all nuzzled up in a cozy throw with my doggie curled up in my arms. I was happy as a clam and snug as a bug in a rug. It's things like that that make me proclaim "I love the fall!" Towards the end of watching that show, an hour long but when you count in the fast forwarding through commercials, it turns into 40 minutes, I started to think to myself I've got the munchies. And then I asked myself the best question I've ever come up with for anything in life. "Why?" And I couldn't answer it. There was no answer. I was not hungry. I'd had a great breakfast and it was holding me over. It was nowhere near time for lunch. And when I realized all of that - I was fine. I went on with my morning. When the show was finished I moved myself to my computer to take care of the bills and such. As I was sitting here thinking about things, I realized I had the munchies again. By this time, I had eaten lunch and I had a fantastic glass of water sitting beside me. I interrupt this program to say "I have not had a soda in over two weeks now!" Back to the program at hand. So I ask myself again - that most awesome-ist of questions... "Why?" And I got the same result. I couldn't answer it. There was no answer. I was not hungry. I'd had a great lunch and it was holding me over. It was nowhere near time for dinner. And when I realized all of that - I was fine. From there the day progressed. Through watching football and the rest of the afternoon, I never did have a munchie moment again. I ate a dinner that was fantastic and quite satisfying. And then the day was over. I always munch on Saturday's and Sunday's! Today was not so successful. I made home made snickerdoodles last weekend. We freeze our cookies and pull out what we want when we want them. But when you have to thaw a cookie it makes you question whether you really want it - if you even remember they are there. So I had two cookies today. I did not eat a satisfying breakfast or lunch today and that equated to "needing" something this afternoon. But when I realized that, I did go for a more protein rich snack. So...interesting... Ironically, I generally give myself credit for being someone that doesn't eat unless I'm hungry. My mom said that about me, actually. But in this journey to being overweight, I am discovering, I rewrote my definition of hunger. I'd call that a break through. Can I get back to my once upon a time mentality?

I know this blog is long past but I can't help but piping in on this one. My grandmother worked in the fashion industry and in that industry it is known that there are things you can do to work around this. It's true whether skinny or not. First of all, try on the clothes and before looking in the mirror YOU decide if YOU feel comfortable. Comfort needs to be key - of course, when skinny, it's easier to be comfortable in the "styled" clothing. Sit down, stand up, bend your arms, flex your arms - all that stuff your mom had you do when you were a little kid - it is still meaningful through the years. If YOU have decided YOU are comfortable - then look in the mirror. Do NOT, however, look at yourself but rather look at how the blouse hangs on your frame, how the dress hangs or where the jeans or slacks fall. If a blouse is too blousy - now you know. If jeans are too short - now you know. Finally - look in the mirror again but only at your face. Are the colors and styles flattering to your face? You can use dressing room mirrors as aids with these keys. But remember - they also adjust the lights in dressing rooms to also make things look better than they really might be.

I live in Texas where we don't get a winter at all. With that said - we do have these cold fronts come throught that can leave the temperature barely climbing above 45. That is chilly - and it's fantastic. I am the type of person that when it starts to get cold like that, I open the window and start fires in the fireplace while jumping for joy.:huh2: So it's fall. We generally hover around the mid-high 70's and temps at night are wonderful for having the windows open. Still not fireplace weather - but it's coming. If we were to sit outside at night chatting with friends, however, we might light a chiminea. The scent of smoke wafting through the neighborhood always makes my heart jump for joy - "winter" is coming! :smile2: Between the cooling weather and football - it's just such a wonderful time of year. My husband and I are addicted to football! This time of year, it's on at all hours of the day and night from Thurs-Mon. We save our household projects until January when football season is really just in championship mode and they games become few and far between. Here in Texas, our leaves are starting to turn. Seems early to me this year. Not that our leaves rival New England - they don't even slightly - but they can still get quite colorful and it makes me look around in anticipation - what color will I see next? What tree will go stark first? (That's what I call the bare trees - not dormant, the proper term, but stark. Seems less scientific and is more like how I feel about them - stark = a blank canvas.) As much as I love the fall, I love winter more. I lived in Chicago for a year while in the Navy and I loved the winter there. I grew up in California and they have less winter there than we do here in Texas, although we certainly did have cold days and nights. Finally, I lived in Hawaii for three years, also in the Navy - and they certainly do not have a winter there. :thumbup: I had a hard time with that there, actually. It's hard to appreciate the beauty of the islands all the time when the flowers are always blooming, for example. There were very subtle differences - night time temps would drop into the 60's, for example, and wave activity would increase. It still wasn't a winter, though. One of the things I love about winter so much is the trees being blank canvases for what's next. That starkness I was talking about a moment ago. All these branches and limbs hanging around, sleeping, just waiting for the day when they can start afresh. It's refreshing to me - the starkness of winter. It means to me, that the world around me is in anticipation for what happens next. I love, mostly, the journey of seeing what will happen next. Sometimes the next thing is bad - and then I'm not so happy, but generally, good things are in store, I believe. And somehow, for me, winter is the mark between a good thing completed and the next new thing to come. It doesn't hurt that it's so very cold at night and I can open the windows and sleep like a baby with no AC on. It doesn't hurt that I don't even have to have the windows open to have the fire in the fireplace as "winter" moves on. With fall in full swing and the holidays lurking around the corner, I just woke up this morning with the thought - I am just so happy to be moving into this time of year! Don't get me wrong - I miss the summer. I miss being able to jump in my pool on a daily basis and I will be quite happy when the weather gets back to hot hot hot because I love love love my swimming! But this fall and the approaching "winter" have me thinking about what's in store. This time next year I hope to be banded. This time next year I hope to not have to be scared to exercise for fear that I will lose too much weight. This time next year I hope to be outside enjoying this wonderful weather quite simply because I will have lost enough weight that my feet will no longer kill me just for thinking of being on them. This time next year I hope that just like the trees losing their leaves - I will be moving into the next season of my life!

I live in Texas where we don't get a winter at all. With that said - we do have these cold fronts come throught that can leave the temperature barely climbing above 45. That is chilly - and it's fantastic. I am the type of person that when it starts to get cold like that, I open the window and start fires in the fireplace while jumping for joy.:confused: So it's fall. We generally hover around the mid-high 70's and temps at night are wonderful for having the windows open. Still not fireplace weather - but it's coming. If we were to sit outside at night chatting with friends, however, we might light a chiminea. The scent of smoke wafting through the neighborhood always makes my heart jump for joy - "winter" is coming! :confused: Between the cooling weather and football - it's just such a wonderful time of year. My husband and I are addicted to football! This time of year, it's on at all hours of the day and night from Thurs-Mon. We save our household projects until January when football season is really just in championship mode and they games become few and far between. Here in Texas, our leaves are starting to turn. Seems early to me this year. Not that our leaves rival New England - they don't even slightly - but they can still get quite colorful and it makes me look around in anticipation - what color will I see next? What tree will go stark first? (That's what I call the bare trees - not dormant, the proper term, but stark. Seems less scientific and is more like how I feel about them - stark = a blank canvas.) As much as I love the fall, I love winter more. I lived in Chicago for a year while in the Navy and I loved the winter there. I grew up in California and they have less winter there than we do here in Texas, although we certainly did have cold days and nights. Finally, I lived in Hawaii for three years, also in the Navy - and they certainly do not have a winter there. :redface: I had a hard time with that there, actually. It's hard to appreciate the beauty of the islands all the time when the flowers are always blooming, for example. There were very subtle differences - night time temps would drop into the 60's, for example, and wave activity would increase. It still wasn't a winter, though. One of the things I love about winter so much is the trees being blank canvases for what's next. That starkness I was talking about a moment ago. All these branches and limbs hanging around, sleeping, just waiting for the day when they can start afresh. It's refreshing to me - the starkness of winter. It means to me, that the world around me is in anticipation for what happens next. I love, mostly, the journey of seeing what will happen next. Sometimes the next thing is bad - and then I'm not so happy, but generally, good things are in store, I believe. And somehow, for me, winter is the mark between a good thing completed and the next new thing to come. It doesn't hurt that it's so very cold at night and I can open the windows and sleep like a baby with no AC on. It doesn't hurt that I don't even have to have the windows open to have the fire in the fireplace as "winter" moves on. With fall in full swing and the holidays lurking around the corner, I just woke up this morning with the thought - I am just so happy to be moving into this time of year! Don't get me wrong - I miss the summer. I miss being able to jump in my pool on a daily basis and I will be quite happy when the weather gets back to hot hot hot because I love love love my swimming! But this fall and the approaching "winter" have me thinking about what's in store. This time next year I hope to be banded. This time next year I hope to not have to be scared to exercise for fear that I will lose too much weight. This time next year I hope to be outside enjoying this wonderful weather quite simply because I will have lost enough weight that my feet will no longer kill me just for thinking of being on them. This time next year I hope that just like the trees losing their leaves - I will be moving into the next season of my life!

And the blog is even likely to be short! This regards the blogs Sigh....part 1 and Sigh....part 2 and Really? Seriously? I emailed my 'advocate" this morning with what I now know to be true for Cigna. I figured maybe just maybe I can help some other poor soul to not have to go through a day like this. Course, it's a whole list of things that all fell inline yesterday to make yesterday happen. And just a few minutes ago I heard back from her. With my news, their clinic called Cigna to verify this for themselves. And it IS true. You do NOT need a two year history with Cigna. So with that said, looks like I do NOT have to do the sleep study. I am good to go. So here we go... :smile2::party::huh2::party:

And the blog is even likely to be short! This regards the blogs Sigh....part 1 and Sigh....part 2 and Really? Seriously? I emailed my 'advocate" this morning with what I now know to be true for Cigna. I figured maybe just maybe I can help some other poor soul to not have to go through a day like this. Course, it's a whole list of things that all fell inline yesterday to make yesterday happen. And just a few minutes ago I heard back from her. With my news, their clinic called Cigna to verify this for themselves. And it IS true. You do NOT need a two year history with Cigna. So with that said, looks like I do NOT have to do the sleep study. I am good to go. So here we go... :party::party:

I feel cheated by yesterday's appointments. The appointment with the nutritionist went just fine and even as I'd expected. I do wish that I'd remembered that appt was first because I would not have "hassled" her with my questions on insurance. But the appointment with the nurse practitioner...I'm not sure it was meaningful. I ended up missing work because everything involved with the insurance and then determining if I would even be qualified to do the sleep study kept me there far too late. I got there at 9:45 and didn't leave until well after 2 - and how is that anything I should have expected based on a weigh in? She listened to my heart and lungs and deemed me healthy. Yeah. Not concerned! I find it funny that - from the mouth of my mom, years ago, a Nurse Practitioner - doctors, PA's and nurse practitioners listen to your heart and lungs because "the patient expects them to". I hate it when they do that and there isn't any reason for me to be there other than - you called me in to give me bloodwork results. Bloodwork results say I'm fine. So why would you listen to my heart and lungs? They were fine three days ago... That RNP didn't really offer any suggestions. She didn't really converse with me about how this past month went. She didn't converse with me about what a goal might be for the next month. So what was the point? To keep me from work? To keep me from the place that is giving me the money to pay for this unnecessary visit? Do health practitioners even get that? And then. To talk to that "advocate", and I use the term very losely, and get so much misinformation. Why'd I go there? If it's on me to determine my eligibility - why don't I just do this myself? Yeah, stupid question. I know there is so much more that happens. If it's on me to examine my diet and determine what to focus on next, why don't I just do this myself? Wait. I am. And according to my obesity surgery rider - I am expected to fail this program. :cool: That is just hard hard hard to stomach. Ok. So I'm going to spend the next five months relearning how to eat. But if it really is about what I eat - no preservatives, no artificial crap, no no no...then won't that cause me to lose weight? As I have read through here I have now developed a fear of losing weight. Why? Because yes, I can lose it. But as has been my history for the last ten years, I won't keep it off. And I have too much risk for too many bad things and I don't want to gain it all back yet again. So I want to make this happen and I expect to be successful. Because I want to keep it off for good. This band isn't about losing the weight. This band is about keeping the weight off. And I will do that with lifestyle changes - doing what I inherently know and simultaneously turning over new leafs. But how do you take this seriously when the goal of this "supervised weightloss program" is to "fail"? How does that start my adaptation if I have to consistently go behind myself and un-do my weightloss? :huh2: On another note, I am seriously looking forward to Thanksgiving. I think my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and it's because of the years that I had with the most wonderful Mom that ever lived - my very own. She was not a super cook through out the year. She cooked a great meal every night of the week - or we had leftovers - but she was time conscious and with both my step-dad and my dad (at different times) being unwilling to try some things, she was not necessarily adventurous with her cooking. But Thanksgiving. OH, Thanksgiving. :thumbup: We'd have my family to our house. I grew up in a very large house but was an only child. My grandmother, mother of seven, lived in a very small house. So they came to us. My mom would go all out. We lived in California and had a beautiful patio that would accomodate enough tables and chairs for 60 people to have a sitdown meal. We would have a smoked turkey and a roasted turkey. We would have all the fixings. But the best thing to me was the stuffing. I love the stuffing because I loved loved loved making it with my Mom. We'd set the bread out to stale the night before. And we'd get up at 6am to break it into pieces and saute it with butter, onions, celery and our secret seasonings. It was so amazingly simple - and to me, it can't be beat. Add whatever you want - the turkey is the best way to get flavor in the stuffing. We'd get the birds stuffed and into the ovens. And then we would prep as much of the rest as we could. My aunts would start arriving between 10-11 and they would join us. My mom never pushed or cajoled anyone to do anything. If YOU wanted to make the waldorf salad - fine, make it. If someone else wanted to make whatever, fine, make it. If you were tired of cooking/baking/clearning - then go watch or play football, depending on the time of the day. I loved every single Thanksgiving I had with my mom. They were and always will be priceless. And I hope to pass this on to my children. Whenever they join us. In the meantime, I've ended up with a very fantastic MIL. She and I are good friends and my one gripe about her is that she moved to Wisconsin. Nothing against WI at all - it's just too far away from Texas. She, unlike me, grew up with a mother who absolutely would NOT share the kitchen. The downfall of not sharing the kitchen is that my MIL did not get to learn a great many of wonderful things in the kitchen that her own mother knows. Prior to last year, my MIL would never have even tried a Thanksgiving feast. She felt inadequate, which is truly sad because she is a great cook. Last year, my husband and I hosted Thanksgiving. Her self-proclaimed goal was "to watch [me] and to do as [she] was told". And she did. And she did well with the dishes she did. And she was surprised that oven-roasted turkeys are better than bagged (i.e. steamed) turkeys. This year, we are hosting Thanksgiving again. And she has declared she will do more. She wants to help with the stuffing instead of observing. Back to the stuffing, my mom and I would get up and get everything chopped. And we'd both stand at the stove with two skillets running each. It is amazing how much stuffing fits in a bird. A Lap-Band® side note- maybe this is the wrong attitude but I don't and will never feel guilty about eating the stuffing. It is the first thing to go even though we always make two additional pans of the stuff. There are never leftovers of the stuffing. One serving a year is not my downfall! My MIL - wants to be the other person at the stove this year. I love that. I especially love that I have MIL that thinks she can learn from me. That is the greatest compliment I think you can give someone - learn their ways.:smile2::thanks: I can't wait until Thanksgiving. Not to mention, we have the whole week off and that will just be a very pleasant break! And furthermore it means we get to see the MIL and the S-DIL. They are in WI right now "winterizing" their house and they come HOME that week! Hubby and I are both looking forward to their arrival! I love this time of year!

I feel cheated by yesterday's appointments. The appointment with the nutritionist went just fine and even as I'd expected. I do wish that I'd remembered that appt was first because I would not have "hassled" her with my questions on insurance. But the appointment with the nurse practitioner...I'm not sure it was meaningful. I ended up missing work because everything involved with the insurance and then determining if I would even be qualified to do the sleep study kept me there far too late. I got there at 9:45 and didn't leave until well after 2 - and how is that anything I should have expected based on a weigh in? She listened to my heart and lungs and deemed me healthy. Yeah. Not concerned! I find it funny that - from the mouth of my mom, years ago, a Nurse Practitioner - doctors, PA's and nurse practitioners listen to your heart and lungs because "the patient expects them to". I hate it when they do that and there isn't any reason for me to be there other than - you called me in to give me bloodwork results. Bloodwork results say I'm fine. So why would you listen to my heart and lungs? They were fine three days ago... That RNP didn't really offer any suggestions. She didn't really converse with me about how this past month went. She didn't converse with me about what a goal might be for the next month. So what was the point? To keep me from work? To keep me from the place that is giving me the money to pay for this unnecessary visit? Do health practitioners even get that? And then. To talk to that "advocate", and I use the term very losely, and get so much misinformation. Why'd I go there? If it's on me to determine my eligibility - why don't I just do this myself? Yeah, stupid question. I know there is so much more that happens. If it's on me to examine my diet and determine what to focus on next, why don't I just do this myself? Wait. I am. And according to my obesity surgery rider - I am expected to fail this program. :drool: That is just hard hard hard to stomach. Ok. So I'm going to spend the next five months relearning how to eat. But if it really is about what I eat - no preservatives, no artificial crap, no no no...then won't that cause me to lose weight? As I have read through here I have now developed a fear of losing weight. Why? Because yes, I can lose it. But as has been my history for the last ten years, I won't keep it off. And I have too much risk for too many bad things and I don't want to gain it all back yet again. So I want to make this happen and I expect to be successful. Because I want to keep it off for good. This band isn't about losing the weight. This band is about keeping the weight off. And I will do that with lifestyle changes - doing what I inherently know and simultaneously turning over new leafs. But how do you take this seriously when the goal of this "supervised weightloss program" is to "fail"? How does that start my adaptation if I have to consistently go behind myself and un-do my weightloss? On another note, I am seriously looking forward to Thanksgiving. I think my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and it's because of the years that I had with the most wonderful Mom that ever lived - my very own. She was not a super cook through out the year. She cooked a great meal every night of the week - or we had leftovers - but she was time conscious and with both my step-dad and my dad (at different times) being unwilling to try some things, she was not necessarily adventurous with her cooking. But Thanksgiving. OH, Thanksgiving. :drool: We'd have my family to our house. I grew up in a very large house but was an only child. My grandmother, mother of seven, lived in a very small house. So they came to us. My mom would go all out. We lived in California and had a beautiful patio that would accomodate enough tables and chairs for 60 people to have a sitdown meal. We would have a smoked turkey and a roasted turkey. We would have all the fixings. But the best thing to me was the stuffing. I love the stuffing because I loved loved loved making it with my Mom. We'd set the bread out to stale the night before. And we'd get up at 6am to break it into pieces and saute it with butter, onions, celery and our secret seasonings. It was so amazingly simple - and to me, it can't be beat. Add whatever you want - the turkey is the best way to get flavor in the stuffing. We'd get the birds stuffed and into the ovens. And then we would prep as much of the rest as we could. My aunts would start arriving between 10-11 and they would join us. My mom never pushed or cajoled anyone to do anything. If YOU wanted to make the waldorf salad - fine, make it. If someone else wanted to make whatever, fine, make it. If you were tired of cooking/baking/clearning - then go watch or play football, depending on the time of the day. I loved every single Thanksgiving I had with my mom. They were and always will be priceless. And I hope to pass this on to my children. Whenever they join us. In the meantime, I've ended up with a very fantastic MIL. She and I are good friends and my one gripe about her is that she moved to Wisconsin. Nothing against WI at all - it's just too far away from Texas. She, unlike me, grew up with a mother who absolutely would NOT share the kitchen. The downfall of not sharing the kitchen is that my MIL did not get to learn a great many of wonderful things in the kitchen that her own mother knows. Prior to last year, my MIL would never have even tried a Thanksgiving feast. She felt inadequate, which is truly sad because she is a great cook. Last year, my husband and I hosted Thanksgiving. Her self-proclaimed goal was "to watch [me] and to do as [she] was told". And she did. And she did well with the dishes she did. And she was surprised that oven-roasted turkeys are better than bagged (i.e. steamed) turkeys. This year, we are hosting Thanksgiving again. And she has declared she will do more. She wants to help with the stuffing instead of observing. Back to the stuffing, my mom and I would get up and get everything chopped. And we'd both stand at the stove with two skillets running each. It is amazing how much stuffing fits in a bird. A Lap-Band® side note- maybe this is the wrong attitude but I don't and will never feel guilty about eating the stuffing. It is the first thing to go even though we always make two additional pans of the stuff. There are never leftovers of the stuffing. One serving a year is not my downfall! My MIL - wants to be the other person at the stove this year. I love that. I especially love that I have MIL that thinks she can learn from me. That is the greatest compliment I think you can give someone - learn their ways.:drool: I can't wait until Thanksgiving. Not to mention, we have the whole week off and that will just be a very pleasant break! And furthermore it means we get to see the MIL and the S-DIL. They are in WI right now "winterizing" their house and they come HOME that week! Hubby and I are both looking forward to their arrival! I love this time of year!

That is so awesome! I hope you have fun at PSU this weekend with DS1!