There is something to be said about the grass ia always greener on the other side. What did I sacrifice to become who I am? I feel more lost now sometimes than I did before. And in the quietness that has become my life I feel wretched.
Are we doomed to feel there is always something missing? Are we by nature never to have everything we want and nothing we really need? What do I want to make me happy?
I thought becoming the new me was all I needed to make me happy, but alas it wasn't true. I am even more lonely now than I ever was. I feel abandonned by many and intimidating to others. The thing about fat girls, most of them have lots of friends, and I miss my friends.
I am so blatently sick of discussion with co workers revolving around "How much have you lost" "Are you still loosing" "You look so good NOW". I just want to be noticed for who I am now, not who I was then or compared to it. IS that the source of my ambiguity?
All I have ever wanted is to be happy. Keep the castle and white horses for some other princess, I just want happiness.
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