DownInSocal

Can I ask where you got 51 gram Protein? Are you sprinkling powder? You are doing so much better than me. For example I buy oscar meyer ham and it takes 2 slices to get 9 grams and that would be very close to being full. 2 cup skim milk is 18 grams, 3 oz pork chop 26 grams :confused1: wow. I need to get board with the chops I guess. Wait I think you got moe than 51 grams protein. I need to eat what you eat the day after you post it!

Thursday 10/8 Breakfast: Viviano Choc banana 14 oz only, made with nonfat milk, threw away last 2 oz. lunch 1: 2 oz tuna fish with mustard and 1/8 tbls olive oil mayo, 2 slices gouda cheese Lunch 2: Snack cup size of unsweetened applesauce (this didn’t sit well, I don’t know why) Dinner: ? cup mac and cheese with unjury unflavored Protein sprinkled on it 4 oz Light Prune juice Yeah yesterday was not very good with protein.Oh and I was till hungery when my stomach informed me we were not having anymore tuna fish. Maybe it was the mustard.

How are you doing Claire? Don't give up. Give us an update. We are here for you.

I don't know what fancy jello is but make sure you puree that cantalope unless it is super ripe. When I started full liquids my stomach was NOT impressed with anything it had to digest too much.

I think the sleeve is going to work out great for the busy lifestyle you have! Keep us updated and don't forget to tell us your surgery date when you get it!

That is great. Don't forget to put your date on the calendar. That way we can all think of you that day and said good thoughts your way.

Ugh steph. After surgery I put a change of clothes in my trunk. Things were so unpredictable I didn't know if I might throw up on myself and the thought had crossed my mind when I started trying to get things moving what if it moved too fast?? So they are still there just in case. I feel so bad for you. Even if just you know it is still humiliating. Your right about Ducolax. It will make things move. I am feeling that today. The good news though? Seems things are heading in the right direction still. I think the fiber suppliments are helping. We shall see.

I get the same spasms still. Cold doesn't set it off for me. It is just random. If it is really bad I have to take a valium so I can get fluids and eat. I just hate to see you suffer.

Guys I have some kind of strange thinking going on. I wanted to see if anyone else felt this way. I am on full liquids/mushies hybrid thing now after a long bout of clears. My doctor wanted me to ease into mushies from full liquids because I spent too long on clears (long story, not my fault). My diet is still mostly liquids because of a few reasons. Unless it is really mushed, like baby food, it causes the dreaded esophagus or stomach cramps. I am not sure which. It does not matter how much I chew either. It has to be pureed or pain will soon follow. So the strange thinking? I am afraid to eat sometimes, like seriously afraid. I forget to eat which I know is common after surgery but sometimes I get major anxiety about eating, even drinking my shakes. I look at the calories and think ?I could just skip this and lose more weight?. My husband is worried enough he had a talk with me last night about just how many calories I am actually getting. I woke up yet again yesterday with the shakes and he took my blood sugar (he is diabetic not me) and it was 51:001_unsure:. I think this is what triggered the ?talk?. My calories each day? About 350 ? 400. I don?t think that is bad. My doctor just said stay under 800. I don?t feel tired but I am foggy sometimes. I forget stuff all the time now though. I guess my point in this ramble is: Is anyone afraid of eating now? Like the inner skinny person is admonishing you for eating anything? I always would get angry at myself when I would eat before surgery because I made such bad choices. Sometimes I would tell myself how fat and ugly I was. Now I can go without eating and I feel like I should to make up for all the bad eating. I am scared if I eat too many more calories (like 600 to 800) I might stop losing. I have been on this full liquids/mushies hybrid thing for 1 week and only lost 2 lbs so I am scared to get on the scale again. I feel like for the first time in my life I am in control of my eating and I don?t want to give in to any eating or I might lose that control again. I wanted the tight reign on my stomach and I got it but now my husband (and coworkers) are hassling me that I am not eating enough. I am still 57 lbs overweight. How could I not be eating enough? I wish people would get out of my business and stop obsessing about what I am putting in my mouth. I leave a shake box on my desk now so they think I am drinking my shakes. Ugh. What do you all think? Am I just a mess or? Be brutally honest.

God I feel your pain about the bowling ball and never trusting a fart! It is so odd how so many of suffer in silence and don't talk about bathroom issues but I have a feeling many have issues and think they are alone because no one talks about them! Hey you are not running a fever are you? I am just a little worried that you are suddenly getting pain right after you eat. Where is it? Is it in your abdomen? High like right under your breast bone? Any pain in your shoulders?

So my homework was to talk about hunger mosnter. Here it is in all the glory. I can't believe I am posting this. Hunger Monster Originally I blamed hunger monster for overeating. He was more of an enabler than a monster. I realized after he was taken out during surgery that there was a real monster in the room that has not been removed by surgery. My own self destructive behavior. Hunger monster was really the scapegoat and did the bidding for destructive monster. Unfortunately destructive monster is not dead. He is stubborn and hides. He pops up at bad times and causes my thought patterns to be destructive, like not sticking to my diet plan after surgery and starving myself. He does not want me to abuse others. Only myself. He tells me how I don?t matter so it is ok. If I was just skinnier, or just prettier, or just smarter, or just not such a screw up, or?? Rarely in my life have I felt loved. I think this is why destructive monster lives with me. My father committed suicide when I was 9. I have always felt he did not love me enough to stay and be a father. I often think of the desperation he felt in his final hours and minutes. What a terrible place to be. My mother while a wonderful person has mental issues. She is a fantastic, caring, good, on top of her game nurse but her personal life is a disaster. She wandered in and out of my life as a child. I always felt abandoned by both parents. She didn?t even take me after my dad died because of her issues. The person who did take me in after he died was mentally and physically abusive. The man I met as a teenager and later married was mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive. I guess I stayed because I didn?t realize it was abuse and did not value myself enough to stand up for myself. I left one day with a restraining order and what I could fit in my car. At 28 my entire life could be summed up to what fit into a compact car. How said is that? I felt like a total failure and many times still do. Destructive monster was in full control the first year I left my ex in so many ways. All of my romantic relationships, except my current wonderful loving marriage, have been abusive. The only reason my current relationship is not a mess is because my wonderful husband won?t let it be. He never gives up on me. He always stands by me. He really loves me. Sometimes I feel like he is the only one in my life that has really loved me. While surgery removed hunger monster I need to deal with destructive monster on my own. No surgery will fix him. I just have to learn to love myself so there is no room for him anymore. I tell other women to love themselves. I tell them they are worth not being abused. I encourage them to get help and leave. Now if I could just stop abusing myself maybe I could break the full cycle, not just a small part of it. See all those years I took abuse there were two people abusing me: my spouse and myself.

Yup, but I have not got much past that an I am in week 7 (I think).

(Vegas cough cough valium cough cough see your PCP cough cough) Ok yesterday, bad day I did something really dumb at dinner and paid for it. My stomach still hurts this morning. Breakfast: Starbucks White Choc Mocha with a splash (like 1/4 shot decaf), tall, nonfat, no whip. I like the coffee flavor but didn't want the full shot. I don't know how my tummy would feel about that acid. It was good. I didn't drink it all so 202 cals, 9 gram Protein. Not bad for breakfast. Could do better though I know. lunch 1: 3 pieces pureed fish sticks with breading removed and pureed. These are really small. 145 cals with breading so less than that. 1.5 oz cheddar pureed and 1 tsp tarter. Lunch 2: Hummus pack with 2 slices cheese. I need to cut back on the cheese damit. Dinner: Here is where things went south. :redface1: :eek: I left work late and didn't want to make anything for my husband to eat so he asked for his fav mexican food. I was going to just open a small can of refried Beans at home or heat up a few meatballs. Instead I got a small order carne asada fries. WRONG. I ate like 4 fries and some carne asada meat (like 2 or 3 oz). I chewed it very well but did not puree it. WRONG. WRONG. I can't explain how wrong I was. I should have never done that. I had terrible stomach spasms. Passing a dinner plate through my stomach. I cried. My stomach is still sore this morning. Never again. I think they were serious about no tough meats :thumbup: I don't know my final counts for the day because of the carne incident. Oh and feel free to critique me. I won't take offense.

I like your blog so far! Yes hurry up and wait. See somethings are the same no matter what side of the border you are on. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. I know things will go great. I can't wait to get an update from your mom.

I keep track of what I eat on my iTouch in a program called Lose It! Yesterday: (it was a bad calorie day) Breakfast 7 am: 1/3 cup non fat milk lunch 1: 10 am: 1 snack pack hummus (i dont know size, it is small prob 2.5 oz) and 2 deli (thin) slices Gouda cheese. Lunch 2 noon: 2 Ounces Protein shake (I was still full) Lunch 3 3pm: 2 slices pureed ham, 1/4 cup pureed cooked carrots, 1 tsp thousand island, all mashed together. Driving Home 5:30 pm: rest of Protein Shake 8oz dinner 7 pm: 1 slice swiss, 3 fish sticks with most breading removed, 2 ounces cheddar, 1 tsp tarter sauce, all pureed together to mush. Yum. I didn't finish it all though. Yikes: 9 pm: Small cookie. 60 cals. I shouldn't have ate it. I was still full. I could have left it too, that was what made me angry at myself. I popped it in mouth without thinking. So I am not doing great about the cheese still. That is not helping my issues. I was 150 cals over my goal for this day. That extra cookie and slice swiss was a bad idea.

I'm late. I was held up in the bathroom! No chit. Anyway 1) My plans for last weekend: Yeah you guessed it bathroom time. I also played Sims 3. 2) Mac and cheese is my fav food. I can't say post op if it has changed because I need all my space for Protein. I can't waste it on carbs. I guess now my fav food is pureed teryaki chicken with some blue cheese dressing. 3) Star Trek. We are major trekkies. Even got married at the Star Trek Exp. in Las Vegas, before it closed down that is. 5) Cali, Utah, Washington, Alaska, Colorado, I was conceived in Arizona does that count?

So I thought to myself - I should mention all this to my husband. His answer - you know I prefer you do it yourself......you aren't going to Mexico for surgery, "I won't allow it". Now you don't know me, but I'm not the shy retiring type so I started to laugh. He didn't think it was funny and said if I went I would find the door with a different lock and divorce papers. Then I suggested the US....hmmm it appears that it really isn't Mexico that is the problem - seems it is a money thing. I have a good job (I have been blessed in this and in many other ways), and my Mom recently gave me $5,000. My parents don't believe in leaving an inheritance, they want to share what they have now. Uhh. WHAT? I am going to be really blunt here. Your husband is completely out of line. I left an abusive relationship 5 years ago. I think there are a lot of issues in your marriage that you may not even be aware of. NO ONE has the right to control and manipulate you. He tells you he won't allow it? Excuse me? You are an adult woman and have a right to make your own healthcare decisions. His JOB as your husband is to support you in your decisions. NOT treat you like a child. You will come home to find divorce papers? FINE would be my answer. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Get your surgery. Stop taking his crap. You are worth more than that. I would bet there is more emotional and verbal abuse going on here that maybe you don't want to face right now. You certainly don't have to air your laundry here on the board if you don't want to. I have been there. I know. You can pm me if you want or don't. I have been thinking about you since I first read your post. Angry at him. Worried about the abuse you are taking. You take back your life girl. You are worth it.

Phew. That was a close one!

Well slight update. Things are ......... ok.......... That is all I can say. I would like to go back to normal in this regard. I know that will take a long time. I still get terrible spasms but I have medicine for that. The thing that sucks right now is I need to walk! I am stalling and it is because I am not active because I spasm down there when I walk too much. I tried the eliptical. That makes the spasms awful. The not losing weight right now pisses me off more than anything. How dare my butt sabatoge my weight loss! :bored0: It better watch out, my stomach was sabotaging my weight loss and look what I did to it! :lol0:

I am glad you came to talk about your feelings. I hope you stay around! All bodies are different. For example I lost a lot of weight right after surgery and now I am going on a 3 week stall. I was crying last night over it. Even my husband was like you will start to lose weight again, how can you not? You eat 4 oz of food! I promise hon it is going to happen. Your body has been through so much. Have faith and love yourself.

I feel the same way. I am amazed at how much people pack away. I look at my husband's portions and I am thinking "uhh you could go with half that and be fine". I don't say anything though. I have stopped him from eating my leftovers though. He has a slight weight problem and does not need my extras. When I am done I run off with it and put it down the garbage disposal or put it in my little 3 oz ziplock containers. I love em: GladWare Containers I buy the smallest ones, 4 oz. Filled to the top they are perfect for a meal.

You know it is funny but honestly I feel somedays like my stomach and I have bonded in a way. It is so silly but true! Before my stomach was just an organ, sometimes despised for being hungry and wanting such large amounts of food. Then we had surgery. After surgery one day a coworker asked me how my stomach was that day. I thought a minute and said "It does it's thing, I do mine." Needless to say it was not a good stomach day. I was reflecting last night on how we are a team now. I understand what my stomach wants (most times) and we no longer argue over big plates of Pasta or an extra cookie. I feel bonded to it. It is now the stomach I always wanted. It is no longer just an organ. Dumb I know. But that is my feelings. No name though. I just call it tummy.