sheavens

Consult went excellent. Dr. Gagner was awesome. Waiting to hear from his nurse Veronique now....., but I was given the date of Oct 6th as my date!! He answered all of my questions and then some.

After comparing both surgeries, I am opting for the sleeve. For me, it was the best choice Still the thought of cutting and removing a body part, is alittle surreal to me.



Eeeeeeeeeck!!! This girl is super excited!!!!

Hey everyone,
I have my surgery date of Oct 6 for my sleeve. No liquid pre-op before hand either, which I am thinking is not in my favour considering, now, All I think about is food FOOD FOOD! like its a free for all every day, Not just the LAST MEAL, as I know my surgery day is coming and from that day on, It will change forever. Is it just me or does any of you feel this way?

Thank you everyone for the feed back, I will be thinking about all this as I am going in for surgery tomorrow. I have decided to go ahead and follow through with the surgery seeing how I feel so much better being 44 lbs lighter already.... Not going to lie, I am scared as hell and still feel extremely guilty, but I am hoping those feelings will fade away after I wake up in recovery tomorrow afternoon!

Control is not love. You may believe that what you feel for him is love, but is it really addiction? If you give in to his power play then you will regret it for the rest of your time with him....which doesn't sound like you have much left. The guy is looking for a reason to leave you. If it is not this, it will be something else in the future. Once you have lost the weight and are healthier mentally and physically, there will be other men who you may love much more.

Jeez.
This is a shitty situation.
But if you stay with him, he will control you totally, even more so than he does right now.
And if that happens you will look back on this fork in the road and regret the choice you made for as long as you live.
I have no idea how your life will turn out if you have the surgery. But it seems clear what the trajectory of your life will be if you stay with him, do not have the surgery, remain nearly 400 pounds (or more than likely, get even heavier) and remain trapped at home by him -- where he wants you under his thumb.
I wish you ALL the best in the world. You do NOT deserve the life he's trying to condemn you to.

Chubby chasers tend to want to be someone's daddy. They want a co-dependent relationship because the more dependent upon them that you are, the less likely you are to ever leave. He has issues and you can't solve any of them. Not a single one.
The new, skinny you is a direct threat to his security and your dependence on him. This tantrum is his ultimatum to you and if you love yourself more than you love him, you'll do exactly what it is that you've planned, which is surgery.
If you don't follow through with your plan and he gets his way, your marriage will suffer anyway. He doesn't have to agree with your choice but he does have to respect it. If he can't do that then there are way more problems in your relationship than having WLS.
This situation sucks and I'm sorry that you have to focus on this instead of concentrating on having surgery and recovering.

He sounds like a douche! We were told in our information session that there are a large number of people that end up getting divorced after WLS. You are not being at all selfish, HE is! You are doing this to be healthier for yourself, your kids (and him, if he didn't suck...) I know that it has to be a difficult decision either way, but I think this proves you need to do what's right for you and your kids. Good luck!!

So, he will no longer be attracted to you if you lose weight?
Tell him that if he misses your fat so much, he can get a can of Crisco and he can cuddle up to that.
Seriously, he married you for your inner qualities, didn't he? What has fat got to do with it?
Someone else said that he is an insecure man who is trying to control you so that only he finds you attractive, so he can keep you. He really is threatened by the thought of losing you once you get trim. I do not know how to make him feel less threatened. He needs counseling. He sounds as if he has been "sharing" with other male friends who have planted within him scare stories about wives who have left their husbands after becoming fit.
That guy needs help.

Wow - that really is a shitty thing for him to do. My only concern with you having the surgery is that you have some support when you get home from the hospital. But absolutely he is the selfish one here, not you! Please put yourself first and take care of yourself. If he is the kind of person to leave you for your looks - you will find someone better who will love you for who you are, and who will support you in taking care of yourself and your health.
So sorry you have to go through this right before surgery, but I'm with all who think you should go ahead with it. I wish you the best.

OK, here's my outsider take...you are not the one being selfish! HE IS! Seriously, with a 3.5 yr old and a 20mth old who walks out the door two days before surgery. I agree you should do what is best for you and your kids...I would ask only one question, do you have family/friends that can help you get back on your feet/help with the little ones?...if not perhaps a postponement of a few weeks while you get arrangements made would allow you to go into surgery with a better peace of mind. You made the decision (a hard one for most) to get the tools you need to be there for your kids, you can make this one as well...

No offense, but it sounds like your husband is a very insecure, controlling man. You don't leave someone two days before any surgery, let alone simply because you think your wife might get hotter than you are at some point in the future. I suggest you call his bluff. If he leaves, you are better off, but more likely, he's using this as a way to control you and if you tell him that you will continue with surgery with or without him, he will likely step in line. Men with no self-confidence like women they can control, however they also tend to toe the line as soon as that woman puts him in his place.
Good luck to you.

For me, pain level was about a 9 when I woke up from surgery. It was worse than my c-sections and hysterectomy put together! But the good thing is that it quickly subsided with pain medication. I was pushing that pain button a lot

I just got home from surgery Friday morning. For me, the first 24 hours were rough, but I did get pain meds. Also had a few bouts of nausea. I had trouble getting any sips in and wound up staying an extra night (2 total) so I would get hydration from the IV. I feel fine today. So, not too bad. I don't need any pain meds. I feel normal.

Pain has a lot to do with the individual and their own thresholds. For me I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but this is still a major surgery. The worst pain for me was the drain being pulled out and gas pains that were in my back. However, the pain meds made me so sick so I stopped them after the second day. Even with anti-nausea medication, the nausea was bad. I ended up vomiting twice. Once from the meds and once right after the barium swallow test. The pain from vomiting wasn't from my stomach, it was from the drain moving. Ouch! Once I stopped the meds and they got out of my system I started feeling better other than the back pain from gas. I walked and walked but the only thing that helped my back was time and my hubby was nice enough to rub my back a couple times... but time is what made it better. I never had neck or shoulder pain as other describe. Today is my 4th post op day.. and I'm feeling great considering a huge part of my stomach was cut off 4 days ago lol. The first two days were hell in terms of how I felt overall. I had thoughts of regret big time, but I just kept reminding myself why I decided to make this decision and how so many have gone through the same thing. Don't preoccupy yourself with nervousness just keep the thoughts of positivity in your mind!

For me the first two days where the worst I was nauseous from dehydration . Your stomach is swollen and not many fluids can go down. It's wasn't until I forced sips in every few minutes that I felt better. I have 5 small incisions that I can just barely see now at 6 months. The pain on the side they took stomach out hurt for 3 weeks but not excoriating . The more you walk and sip the better you will be. Each day was always better then the previous . I was also scared of pain before surgery but that was 60 pounds ago! Glad I did it:)have pillows , gas strips, and different flavored drinks & heat pad on hand.

LadyHershey - so glad to hear that things are getting better. Same for me too - 8 days from op. Pain definitely lessening but if I do something stupid like turn quickly or bend down too far, I soon know it. Funny you mentioned the chills. I'm normally a very hot person but yesterday afternoon/evening felt freezing and even put the heating on!
Had a follow up call from one of the surgical team today and that was reassuring to chat through how I was coping. I do need to get myself more mobile now so that I don't have to keep wearing the surgical socks!
Good luck with your weigh-in tomorrow. I was weighed once in hospital and appeared to have lost a lot but that was only wearing a gown and whilst only having had sips of Water. I have weighed twice since being home fully clothed and shod because that's how I normally weigh myself and I put on a pound between my weighings. However, I'm not disappointed because I know the recent weight loss since on the pre and post op diet will be mainly Water and so not 'real' and there will be a period of adjustment while my glycogen levels (and associated water) levels rise again - but there's fat burning going on in the background. At some point I'll get to the 'real' weight loss stage and will monitor from there, but not too often.

I genuinely had no pain that was any worse than a period cramp since 3 days post op I've had nooo pain meds and when I had it was baby paracetamol xx

Thanks so much!

@@BeagleLover Best of luck tomorrow. excited for you!!!

Hello MaggieMayUK and everyone who replied to my post.
Tomorrow it will be 1 week post op. I am better today and the pain has lessoned each day. Thank God. Drugs on my release from hospital was a Syrup (narcotic) for pain, Prilosec, and a 10 day blood thinner injection. I've reduced using the syrup to just nights now, so I'm not so out of it everyday.
I've continued to read everyone's comments on their journey and the tips they've so kindly shared. Some tips have been of a great help, such as drinking more, heating pad (never could get out to get one, but my portable heater helped), plus helped with the chills I've also been experiencing.
Honestly, I must say I've re-read my own post and could tell from the writing how much pain I was in at that time. Thankfully, you all read past my poor writing on that day. That was day 2 after discharge. Any bending, I had to hold my stomach, or twisting, standing, climbing stairs just impossible, even in sitting, it was best to lay down; plus sometimes it would be better other times just sharp pains on the left. My pain ranged from 5 to 10. I think it was a couple of '10' episodes when I could even speak that prompted me to log in for help.
Now... I can walk a little longer, stand or sit longer; still have tenderness, at every scope spot.
I know I'm guilty of needing more patience with myself, thank you for that gentle reminder.
I'm so much better today.
I'm thinking of weighing in tomorrow as a post op 1 week from weight.
Good luck to us all on our new adventure!

Can you feel your stomach afterwards? It didn't feel that different. Sore, absolutely, swollen, but not that different.
Can you feel the staples? I couldn't feel the staples
Does it hurt to take your first drink? Yep, a bit, it did. For about the first week it was a little uncomfortable with every sip, but got better each day.
They tried to give me a dose of hydrocodone in the hospital, (which I don't tolerate well on a GOOD day) and this was not a good day! It came right back up. I never took narcotic pain meds after that and was FINE. That was my ONE bout with nausea as well. I took Tylenol Jr when I got home the next day which was enough to take the edge off.
Pain on a scale from 1-10? Five
Gas Pain? Not that I remember. I did get up and walk as instructed as much as possible.
All in all not as bad as I expected. At All.

Your responses have been very helpful in knowing what to expect tomorrow. Thanks!

pretty easy recovery for me. I went back to work 10 days later. very active and on my feet. barely took pain meds. slept in a chaise lounge for first week as I could not be too comfortable totally flat on my back. hindsight for most, that the small amount of time in pain is well worth reaching your goal weight and a fresh lease on life!

Hi
I had a sleeve on 7/22. So, I'm about 2 months postop now. I am down 57 odd pounds! It is a great feeling. Postop, I can tell you I had no "pain". I just had a "full" feeling in my stomach. Which, I later decided was prohibiting me from drinking, so I did choose to take pain medicine but only to help me drink. I had pain between two of my incisions, near my belly button, but it felt like I did too many crunches. Not excruciating. Minimal nausea, but that is common with sleeves. The Zofran and/or anti nausea med took that away quite well. I admit, I did not feel like drinking, at all. I had to push that and even now I'm sometimes lagging behind. But, I finally found a shake that I will drink so that gives me a boost when I need it. My Vitamin B1 (Thiamine) level was low, so I've had 2 shots so far and one more in early Oct. Thiamine is crucial to healing so make sure your B Complex has Thiamine! Mind did NOT, I had to swap it out. Overall, I will say the first postop month is rough - no energy, pushing and keeping track of fluid/protein intake....it can get overwhelming. BUT, my story from a pain perspective - I would say on scale of 1 to 10, 10 being absolute worst pain, I only had a 0.5-1 MAYBE! Its not that bad, I think it was much worse in my head! :-) Even the drain coming out did not "hurt", it felt weird.

You will do great! Good luck.
Xena

LadyHershey how are you now? I'm a week post op and still get sharp stabbing pains in my lower left side and some 'pulling' feelings across my lower abdomen when twisting, turning, sitting down, getting up, bending down. If I keep still I'm mostly OK but if I stand or sit upright for too long the pains start up again anyway.
However, slowly, day by day, they are getting more bearable. I guess we just need patience.
Our bodies all have their own idiosyncrasies and some people seem lucky enough not to experience pain, but some of us do - just the way it is.