KimInMD

Ahh okay. this I can relate to.
I divorced after I got the band. It was not the band that made me get divorced, but my husband had a long history of treating me like a cash cow, as a worker, and not as a wife or partner. When I stopped being a passive victim and took my world into my own hands, and got the band, it was a floodgate of more empowering things.
I demanded he go to marriage counseling, he did. I did lots of work on myself and wanted to make this marriage work - he didn't. So I left him.
The following year, he called me and began a bitchfest about how he helped pay for the band and he...
wait I have to quote this
"Didn't even get a chance to enjoy the benefits."
Then he flat out propositioned me - his ex wife - for sex just because I'd lost weight. (I still think I made a great decision)
No...the band doesn't cause you get divorced. The band shines a spotlight on sickly relationships that will either heal or completely degenerate. It's always the way when one person grows, and the other doesn't.
A couple who can grow together stays together, imho...
As far as attention from the opposite sex, I am still dealing with issues that stem from molestation, sexual attacks, date rape from age 5, age 11 and age 16. Kind of a no-brainer as to why I piled on a fatsuit, eh?
When I first lost 80 lbs, this group of construction guys - tawny, bronzed, rippling, sweaty, god help meeee, were honking at me as we drove on the highway and I got {FURIOUS}. Anger was my first reaction - how DARE they invade my space, how dare they look at me, I didn't invite their advances, why is everything SEX???!
Yeah, I had issues. I went to therapy.
Now, I say thank you and I prance around at the attention. I've dated scumbags, I've dated good guys...but one thing remains the same.
Men chase sex. So they're just usually (on the whole) gonna be these horny teenagers no matter what age. It's up my my willpower/moral/values to decide how I want to behave. I've fooled around after my marriage; I didn't like it. So now I don't. It's a learning experience. I know what I want in a man, and I'm damned picky.
As my friend's sweet ancient mother puts it: If it's not dead or trying to crawl away, men'll try to put it anywhere :rolleyes2: LOL
(my apologies to the genuinely good men out there, I know you're not all like that...)

sounds like you are doing some grieving. when my boyfriend died i was 38. his name was jake and he had the coolest dog named jack. they were both shot on our new boat, a wedding to be present from his dad. life was so good for us. he was a federal agent. i lost my best friend , then i found out i was pregnant and felt so happy to know i would have a piece of him forever. then i lost the baby. i had to fight everyday to get out of bed . nothing helped. i gained 100lbs and never went out for almost a year, except work. i used the weight as protection. i was never going to let anyone in again. never gonna get hurt again. later when i recovered from the grief and depression, i wanted to lose the weight and feel good again. well i did lose the weight but it is still a struggle to let people back in. i had to force myself to get involved... mostly i work with microfinancing for the poor. i still dont let people close to me like i want to , but change is hard and it takes time. you have this new body and maybe have yet to find your own style and sense of self in it. i think we all realize that the weight loss makes us feel better physically and we look better. but the insides take time to adjust and to heal. the important thing is to try to focus on the good things and how far we have come. i think each person has a unique factor involved along with the common factors. i hope you can enjoy your success. its like you moved to a new house in a new town and nothing seems familiar ..... but one day you wake up and you realize you are home. i may not know how you feel, but i can relate to pain and suffering and isolation. hope its all uphill from here.

I took your advice, Googled some rather dry (though interesting) reading, and your answer makes perfect sense, Jack. Thank you for the explanation in layman's terms. Seems dear ol' Dad's bit of wisdom was right all along- It is better out than in. :scared2:
Perhaps you are right regarding our "sadly misguided, cultural aversion to body odors", but a couple shots of strategically placed Right Guard on a warm August day does much to enhance the chiropractic doctor / patient relationship, and the close personal space they may share.
Just having a bit of fun with you, Jack. Thanks for the answer.