edub

A funny thing happens when this subject comes up. Most people reply in a very subjective way. Women always yell you about how their husband is a big guy and so they don't believe it makes a difference. While I'm glad for them, that doesn't give me much objective measure. Now if they started out by saying they were Victoria Secret models and preffered over weight men, that would be objective. I'm guessing that isn't the case most of the time.

Guys seem to really employ a lot of wishful thinking. Guys always want to believe that they have control over whether or not women find them attractive. They might think that the fact that they have been with a few girls proves this. Never mind whether or not most guys would think these women are 2s.

Confidence is huge; I know that. But confidence alone isn't enough. After all, most men are plenty confident after 3 or 4 beers. And knowing how to talk to girs makes a difference as well. But it only goes so far.

The fact is, women are just as concerned about looks as men - just not the same TYPE of looks. Being makes a man look more masculine and hence more confident. Being thin accentuates masculine features like a sharp jaw line, Adam's apple and a high testosterone level. Also, being thin suggests high social value. Being fat suggests low social value.

Anyway, I have friends who need do or say nothing to get hot girls. many times I have been hanging out with them when women just walk up and start hitting on them. No confidence, no game, nothing - just standing there.

Now, there are guys who can pull of a heavier look. And in certain cultures it is more acceptable. But, for mos or us, I think it will make a profound difference. Soon, I will be getting a verticle sleeve and I will let you know. And if it makes a difference, when I was young and fit, I slept with plenty of women (hot ones) so this isn't coming from a guy with no game.

Ginger, that's pretty much the stock response from girls. The problem is that what women say and what they do are completely different. I'd bet dollars to dough nuts that your gorgeous friends that think the thin guys are jerks and the other ones are great guys is having sex with the thin jerks and not the others.

While it is true that women are not attracted in the same way men are, it is a mistake to think physical attributes don't play into it. Unfortunately, being over weight caries with it a negative social stigma and the last thing hot women want is to date low on the social totem pole. Note your example of the celebrity who plays the husband of a hot woman on TV. It is his celebrity status and the perception of value that comes from his hot TV wife that makes him attractive. It's called "social proof."

Women are into looks, just not in the same way men are. Women are into masculine facial features and tall thin men even if they are not "good looking" in the traditional feminine sense.

But again, what women think they want in a guy and what they actually go for are two completely different things.

I'm about to begin mine and I'm wondering what they need to see and what they will deny me for. Obviously losing 80lbs would get one denied, but what about losing none or gaining.

After 4 years as friends I'd probably focus on going out with her and having her help you meet girls. Being with a hot girl increases your value big time. Just make sure she "appears" into you. That's the best tool a guy can have.

I have an appointment next week with to get the ball rolling on my six month diet and all that.

But, BCN is telling me I have a 50% co-insurance which is odd since my explanation of benefits is for zero co-insurance. Evidently, the fact that I purchased a zero co-insurance policy means nothing since they get to pick and choose which things are not included in my contract that clearly states zero f***ing co-insurance.

What other business' can have a contract that states an agreement plain as day and then unilaterally pick and choose when the contract applies and when it does not?

Can an auto insurance company sell you full coverage and then after an accident claim that they don't cover damage cause by pick up trucks?

Where is the consumer protection when it comes to these criminals? I have it on paper that I have zero co-insurance. I'm no lawyer but last I checked that is called a material misrepresentation or fraud.

You want to see some insanity search youtube for "gixercart."

They put an engine from a GSXR in a go cart. Insane!

Actually, I once worked at the center but didn't deal with the bariatrics program. I never was down with the whole Protein shake diet idea and it kind of makes me not trust them.

I did attend the bariatrics seminar and got that same "extended warranty" feeling.

Lack of libido can be caused by weight related depression, low testosterone or just age. When I was in my 20s and working out 2 hours per day six days per week (and still a bit chubby) I used to beat the breaks off of my girlfriends for hours. We were literally both soaked with sweat like we ran a marathon. Then, I got older and heavier and found I had to keep them on top most of the time. It was good but just not as athletic or intense. Plus, I just wasn't as enthusiastic.

Now, I really don't know if losing weight will return my libido or my stamina to what it once was. I'm sure it will help, but I'm just not sure if anything less than a fountain of youth could restore my former enthusiasm and exuberance. I hope to find out soon.

I think there is an anatomical response to strenuous exercise that reduces hunger for a while. If it's intense enough you might even puke. I know I can not eat for a while after a heavy workout.

But, as far as long term - sorry that just isn't going to happen.

Would you or can you just lock or delete this one and keep the other?

OK, I'm not banded but I am knowledgeable in this area.

Long term aerobic exercise of the type you are doing burns primarily fat. There could come a time when your calorie expenditure exceeds your food intake but I highly doubt this will be a problem for you. As far as Protein - people only need about 4oz per day.

I guess I'm not really sure of your question but it seems you are asking if getting a fill will interfere with your caloric requirements. Like I said, I doubt it will be a problem. Most of those guys look like they escaped from a Russian gulag.

"trips their attraction switches"

"todays age of pressuring women to act like men"

This might be the biggest bunch of BS I have ever heard, and I am a car salesman and I have heard a lot of BS in my time.

FYI--You cant "attact women" because you act like an egotistical, chauvinistic, pseudo-intellectual and that is not attractive at any weight.

LOL! All that huh? Let me guess - you must be an ardent Feminist, am I close? I know how much you guys hate that stuff. You don't have to shoot the messenger though.

And I can get lots of women - I just prefer ones that are drop dead gorgeous.:tt2:

I have learned that when I am NOT logging my food I eat about 1500 cal a day... I do not gain but I do not lose.... If I am logging I eat 1100 cal a day and I lose... then I go back to my 1500 I maintain. I do my best NOT to eat processed foods. I do my best to keep a couple of servings of Protein powder in my back for those just in case days.

Oh and I eat greek yogurt not yoplait or any of those... I need the enzymes.

I think 1500 calories is quite low. Average is like 2000 or 2500 if I'm not mistaken.

I guess that's why we are fat. Stupid metabolism.

So, let me get this straight........

You are short, fat, and can't be the "Boy Toy" you would like to be? Ahhhh, I'm just razzing ya

I think you are thinking too much about it. You'll get the band, attract women and the world will be right.

LOL. I doubt it will make the world right but it might make it a little more fun.

Anyway, I reposted this in the men's room in a more appropriatly crude manner.

You guys should look for some videos of our "Woodward Dream Cruise."

It takes place just N of Detroit and guys bring out all kinds of stuff from miles around. Even tonight there is a classic car show up the street from me with all kinds of radical stuff. I'm talking classic muscle cars fully blown and tubbed out. Guys really get into it here.

I'll be putting my money into a nicer boat myself.

This question is for single men who have lost a great deal of weight. If you were thinner in your youth and used to get laid a lot, even better.

Plain and simple; does being thin have a large impact on your ability to bed hot chicks?

See, I have heard all the stuff about how you have to be confident and know how to talk to them and all that. Not only have I heard it, but I used to teach guys how to pick up women. What I found is that no matter how good your game, there is no way you are going to bed 10s unless you are thin.

Now in fairness, if you are thin and just a chode when it comes to chatting up girls you may benefit greatly from learning good game. But, I hold that you can have the best game in the world and will still be hard pressed to get the 9s and 10s if you are fat.

I know there have to be other guys for whom weight was the limiting factor.

Please share your success stories.

Oh and for all you women - Let me save you the trouble by saying "yes I'm a pig and I know it."

What are your experiences with their entire program?

I know they have a whole Protein Shake diet thing that seems to be a bit of a scam. Did anyone get a similar impression from their bariatric program? I went to their seminar and they passed out the shakes and it just seemed like they offer too many bells and whistles. I just want what is necessary.

Opinions?

Sigh...

I really didn't want to get into a debate about the question. What I was hoping for is a few guys who have been down that road to weigh in on the issue.

Yes, one could always attribute their success to increased confidence and in some cases they may be correct. But, I'm sure there are guys like me who have confidence in spades but find it doesn't overcome the negative image of being fat.

See, I know all kinds of techniques for appearing confident that most people are not even aware of. The science of attraction goes way beyond the goofy stuff the amateurs in the VH1 series do. And no, I never use any of those corny bits. That is pure amateur stuff.

For instance, the way a man sits indicates his level of confidence. Open body language and a relaxed position are a couple - body language is a science in itself and it is powerful when used correctly. Confidence can be expressed vocal tonality, by proximity to others including other guys, in the way one touches someone and in the way one approaches. Politicians are trained in how to shake hands in such a manner as to appear confident and so am I. In fact, I have a special handshake I use specifically to give the impression of confidence.

All of these things (including confidence) are meant to give the guy the appearance of high social standing which women find attractive. This trips their attraction switches because a man with high social status is seen as more able to ensure the survival of the woman's offspring. Numerous studies have shown that a man's height is of the utmost importance in attracting women. Tall men are viewed as better protectors.

The problem with being over weight is that it has a strong negative social stigma. Fat guys are seldom the center of the "in crowd." The impression of a negative social status is incredibly unattractive to women - especially if the guy is short. So, it is more than just a visual thing.

See, guys are simple. We look for signs of health, youth and fertility. That is how our brains are wired. But that also includes a woman with good values in the end.

Women, are much more complex as explained above. But, in todays age of pressuring women to act like men, more and more women are imitating male sexuality and seeking "boy toys."

So sure, back in the day when all the fat guys were in the Chief's or the King's inner circle, that was seen as attractive. (Actually, heavier women were seen as more attractive back then too.) But today, being fat means you are an outcast and that is unacceptable for women who have a great deal of options.

So, edub, riddle the peanut gallery this: How long have you had the lap-band® and what is your weight right now?

I'm not banded yet but my weight has fluctuated considerably through the years. I have noticed a significant correlation between my weight and my ability to attract women even though I have never truly been thin by most standards.

MY weight is currently around 290 although being very muscular I carry it well - so I'm told. But I'm not sure what your question has to do with anything.

Wow, you really do want an argument, dont you? I think quite a few people have said weight is not a huge issue. I have to admit, that's rubbed me the wrong way too.

I have to be honest, I've formed an opinion over the last few days based on several posts, and I'm starting to assume that you've had some sort of negative experiences in the past that you attribute to your weight. That might be absolutely wrong. But can you see that, since I've never laid eyes on you, that my reaction to you is based on behaviour not appearance? Its the same in real life.

An excellent point was made above, that you're really talking about "scoring". Having met me DH at 16 and having been happily with him for 27 or so years now, I can honestly say I have never been out and tried to score.

And I dont think a lot of women really have that mentality to be honest. Yes, we go out and hope to meet someone but I think you're imposing what really is a standard male viewpoint (and not all males, not at all) onto women. I dont view men in that way, as a prospective sexual conquest and nothing more. I'm not wired that way. Were I out looking ot meet someone, I would be looking for at least a relationship, if not a long term one. So for me, and I believe for a majority of females, personality and other traits come into it way more than looks.

If I can let my shallow side show for a moment, I'd have to say that apparent wealth attracts me more than a body type. I grew up in a household with a professional white collar father, my DH works in the same field, most of the males in my family come from that genre. So I tend to find men attractive that appear to fit that mould. I'd not to be immediately attracted to a forklift driver dressed in overalls. But could I overcome that once I met him? You bet!

I don't know why you would feel the need to insult me or make this a personal issue. Are you familiar with the term "argument ad-hominem"?

I fully understand that conventional wisdom holds that women are not interested in a man's appearance. I know that men firmly want to believe that this conventional wisdom is correct and I wouldn't expect too many women who have had bariatric surgery to say they would only date a thin guy.

That is why I was specific about wanting to hear from (single) men who have lost a great deal of weight and have noticed an improvement in their ability to attract women.

So far nobody who has replied has really been in a position to answer the question.

Perhaps I should find the men's section and posit the question there with very specific instructions about who should reply.

I am a grazer and that bothers me. I do eat when board and like I said, it's as if my body wants something that I can't figure out and I keep eating to try to satisfy the craving. High fat and calorie foods tends to do the trick but I avoid it.

I do know what is healthy and what isn't. I studied nutrition in college and have been a fitness buff all my life. Finally seeing abs is one of my great wishes in life.

Anyway, I do worry that my tendency toward constant grazing might defeat the band. But if I can only eat 4oz every few hours, I fail to see how it is even possible unless I just eat ice cream or sip butter all day.

A while back I got down to 235 doing the South Beach Diet but as soon as I went off phase 1 I gained it back plus another 30lbs. Staying on phase 1 forever doesn't work though. But sugar free Jello is a good nervous food.

The same thing happens to me!

If I eat candy, it feels as though the sugar is absorbed straight through my mouth like some kind of drug. It almost feels like a tiny...well you know.

I have trouble buying the whole "nervous eating thing" because if that was the case, anxiety medications would be effective for obesity.

I honestly believe that Leptin insensitivity is the chief cause of obesity for most people but because people are so prejudiced, and doctors are people too, the research doesn't receive enough attention.

Anyway, I'm just hoping and praying that this is successful for me.

I'm interested to know about people's eating habits; especially those who are banded and not losing weight.

I am an over eater. I eat healthy food for the most part. I snack on Healthy choice fudge bars, Dannon "light and fit" yogurt, Sandwich Thins with natural Peanut Butter, sardines on crackers with mustard, air popped popcorn with some melted Promise spread and the like. I eat tuna with Hellman's canola Mayonnaise, lean turkey breast sandwiches and a lot of boneless, skinless chicken breast. Only occasionally do I eat bad stuff but not too often. I almost never eat fast food, I simply eat way too much.

But, I'm wondering. Do some of you who are banded just eat a lot of junk food? Why if your food intake is so limited are you not losing weight? Do you sit with a quart of Ben & Jerry's and just take your time with it until it's gone? Do you replace all your meals with chocolate, cake or potato chips?

I'm not trying to insult anyone. I just want to know why people fail with the band and whether or not I might be one of them. I guess I just don't get how someone with a 4oz stomach can fail to lose weight and I'd like to know.

I knew most women would disagree before starting the thread. That is a whole other subject.

Had I asked if women find it easier to attract men after losing a great deal of weight and if their weight loss was the main factor 99% would say yes. Men can not make the same admission.

The belief that women are attracted to so many other characteristics of men (one they still believe) is kind of a through back to the days when women weren't self sufficient. Also, keep in mind that years ago being fat was synonymous with wealth and power - things that women are attracted to.

Now it's all much different. Women are often self sufficient and being fat is associated with poverty rather than wealth. Being thin is now associated with wealth and high social standing.

But what about you? Do you attribute it all to the uniform and mustache?

There are no cut and dry rules... but... Most banded people experience fluctuations in restriction. Most people are the tightest in the morning and least-tight in the evening.

I had a girlfriend like that - she drank in the evening. :smile:

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Thanks for the reply. I'm still confused on why that would occur but...