Clark Griswold

On 4/14/2025 at 9:59 AM, Bypass2Freedom said:

My boyfriend and I broke up over the weekend, and I just wanted to reach out to my bari-family for support 😓

I remember reading loads about how after surgery lots of people found that their relationships broke down for one reason or another, and the statistics around this being quite shocking.

Whilst I don't contribute my break-up to my surgery/weight loss, I am struggling at the moment with the emotional side of things following it all. Rather than emotional eating, I am finding that I have 0 appetite at all, I just don't want to eat, I don't want to do my exercise, ugh. But I am also scared of just doing nothing.

I don't know guys, I am rambling, but either way , just wanted to reach out to see how others have dealt with this in their own lives. ❤️

Really sorry to hear this, wishing you all the happiness you deserve moving forward

On 11/13/2024 at 7:58 PM, Bypass2Freedom said:

So prior to surgery I tasked myself with writing a letter to the "future me". I wrote this letter and then sealed it up so that I could open it 6 months post-op and reflect. I thought I'd share it with you all to give some inspo, and just because I value being open about my journey with you all ❤️

I wrote this letter on the 20th December 2023, with my surgery scheduled for the 14th May 2024.

Some of this letter may be triggering for others (mentions of sexual assault/abuse), so please don't read on if you aren't able to.

I also highly recommend for people to do the same pre-surgery. Reading this letter has been really cathartic for me, especially at a time where my weight loss is slowing down a little.

So, here it is, my letter to myself:

To me,

I hope that you have found your own form of genuine happiness. To try and picture how life is for you now is impossible. I'm currently at work, my back is in pain, I am overly conscious of my body - my stomach and chin in particular. I hope that you aren't worrying about any of those things anymore.

Remember feeling so painfully aware of your body, about how nothing quite fits you anymore? I pray life is better for you now.

I want you to have a whole new quality of life. No more holding yourself back. Say yes to things that scare you. Go on a paddle boat. Go to go-ape. Do something terrifying.

I hope that your mental wounds are beginning to heal. All those times you were cheated on and mentally & physically abused by your ex because of your weight. You didn't deserve that. Not one bit. Your worth is not, and never was, defined by how much you weigh. Please don't get stuck on the numbers.

I know this has probably been one of the hardest experiences for you, and I know you have probably had to re-learn everything, but you deserve this. You are so, so deserving.

Reflect back on the past: Nan calling you 'podgy' in a top you was excited to wear when you was 13, but you never wore it again after that. Growing fast and being bigger than most people in school. Always yo-yoing from diet to diet. None of it worked. Punishing yourself didn't work. But now look at what you have achieved. YOU did this. No one else. Be proud.

I hope, more than anything else, that you have finally found out who you are. That girl inside, behind all the weight, waiting for freedom.

I can't wait to meet her x

OMG this is so relatable (aside from the cheating/abuse part - I am sorry you had to go through that, some people are horrors to put it mildly). You are doing so so well, you should be really proud of yourself and your journey so far.

Happy Thanksgiving to our American members and to all! Let's see those Thanksgiving before and after food pics!

Really struggling this week and for no particular reason. Its hard to articulate, but I feel fat even though I am still losing and am now living an active lifestyle. I cant place my finger on why but having a 'fat' week where I feel like I've gone back to pre-surgery feelings about my size. I was doing so well mentally until this week. Anyone else feel like this randomly

On 9/28/2024 at 7:20 PM, Bypass2Freedom said:

I finally bit the bullet and bought some new clothes today.

I was quite apprehensive as I genuinely didn't know what size I would be, so I had my boyfriend with me who doubles up as my stylist 😂

I went into New Look - which I wouldn't have even dreamt of doing pre-surgery - and just asked him to pick some things for me.

He picked 3 coats (I currently have none that fit me, and it is getting cold here in the UK!), a skirt, and a cropped jumper. I was trying to insist that I would need a size UK 18-20 (which is a US 14-16 I think?), but he was adamant that I needed a UK 12-14 (US 8-10?)...I tried them on in the sizes he suggested, and they FIT.

I genuinely didn't believe it, like I don't think I have been this size since 2017/18...my brain can't actually see it or even compute with it.

Before surgery I was a UK 22, more of a 24 in most things if I am honest. Just can't believe it yet. Does anyone else get like this?!

But I am riding a high today, I feel good, and I am still in shock 😂

It's such a mindset shift isnt it! The old me used to dread going shopping so much in case they didnt have my size (most places didnt) so literally had to be dragged shopping.

Congrats btw, we keep hitting new milestones and I for one am so much happier in my own skin, and i'm only just past half way to my goal.

Great to hear you got on so well on hols! Keep on smashing it

Echo all the comments so far. You are doing so well in spite of the gym, put it that way! You are absolutely killing it so far regardless, and you aren’t even 6 months in! You got this and we are all here to support each other and all on similar journeys so you’ve done the right thing in posting your feelings (and thanks for doing so). Hope you feel better about it all soon

On 8/30/2024 at 1:20 AM, ShoppGirl said:

Thanks for the reminder that I need to put it on my calendar to do mine next week for my one month post op and congratulations on your loss!! Keep it up.

Thank you and good luck for yours!

1 hour ago, Bypass2Freedom said:

So some of you may remember me saying previously that I am going on holiday in September, and now it is about 2ish weeks away!

My first time in a hot country, and I was leaving clothes shopping until last minute.

I have now bought some bits and pieces, and my sizing varies immensely 🤔😂

I've definitely gone down a size or two - I was previously wearing a UK 22 (I probably should have been wearing a 24 but I was refusing to accept that) - and most of the clothes I bought over the weekend were a UK 18 - one dress I fit in was even a UK 16!! (still a little tight around the boobs but that is fine 🤣)

It was actually really nice to try on clothes for a change...now lets hope I can cope with the hot weather!

Amazing feeling isn't it? The 'OMG this smaller size actually fits me' moment is something I was not prepared for.

Hope you have an amazing time on your holiday - we just booked to go to Lanzarote in October (scottish) school hols, so cant wait!

Thanks all for the advice on breads! I tried a cracker and gouda cheese at the weekend and that went down ok so assume melba toast would be ok. I tried a wrap last week and it was not pleasant at all, and couldnt keep it down.

How long did it take you all to tolerate bread? I’m 2.5 months post vsg and really struggle to tolerate most breads and especially wraps

I would definitely recommend staying away from platform training shoes like converse and vans as they will not support your feet enough. If possible I recommend what someone said above and find somewhere where they'll measure your feet and take into account your arches and foot width. I ended up going with New Balance running shoes as they suited my foot measurements, and boy are they comfortable to walk and run in.

11 hours ago, BlondePatriotInCDA said:

A very nice and great compliment! Nothing backhanded at all! Take it and run! I've never been good at compliments either when I was thin or now as I lose the weight, I think we all have issues with it! You deserve the smile😃

Thank you!

3 hours ago, Bypass2Freedom said:

It definitely does have a little bit of a stall around that point - I was in the same place around then, and I have finally started losing a bit more now.

That is amazing you are getting the exercise in - that is something I desperately need to get more of. I am going to the gym maybe once a week, but my energy levels are so low due to me struggling to get food in 😅 I shall maybe just go and try to do some light cardio rather than weights!

RE Exercise, i found I was like that at the start and now strategically plan gym sessions carefully around eating i.e. I'll eat then exercise an hour later, so I am getting that energy in before expelling it. I also found at the start of exercise, I struggled at the gym, so I started walking 2-3 miles per day, which actually boosted my energy levels, and hence also enabled me at the gym.

You are still doing amazing though, you should be very proud of the progress you've made this far.

Just now, Bypass2Freedom said:

Definitely part of the mental fight! It is hard to break down the walls we put up - where to begin!

We shall do so!

Also, congratulations on your progress so far - you are doing amazingly! How are you feeling?

Honestly, I am feeling amazing! I have hit a little bit of a slow down on weight loss being 2.5 months post op, but I am now hammering the exercise and still losing inches off my body. When I say a slow down, I mean I've gone from losing 4-5 lbs per week to around 2lbs per week. An example of the exercise, I never imagined i'd have felt comfortable on a treadmill pre-op, and I am about to go onto week 3 of the 9 week couch to 5k program on the treadmill at the gym!

How are you doing this week?

1 minute ago, Bypass2Freedom said:

I always find myself thinking after I have received a compliment: "why did you not just say thank you and leave it at that?" . I have noticed this thing that I do, and I don't know if anyone else can empathise with this - but say someone compliments my hair, I will say something like: "ah I need to dye it again though", or if they compliment my weight loss, I say: "still a long way to go!".

I struggle to just say thank you, to just accept it. Like I am always putting a negative on it. I wonder, if like you, I just am doing my old style thing of wanting to avoid comments on my appearance.

But, I shall take a leaf from your book, and I shall try to smile and reflect fondly on compliments in the future!

Yes I can completely empathise with this, and it kinda feels like a natural reaction to put some sort of negative spin on it or to put yourself down - feels kinda like our old barriers are still up when in reality we should all be really proud of our achievements. And I think that is all to do with the psychology behind it all, which is hard to overcome or reset your thinking both with eating habits and appearance changes - hopefully that improves/comes with time.

Let's make a pact that we'll both just say thank you very much next time

You look awesome! And well done you for actually posting the progress pics.

How do you feel 1 year on vs at surgery time? I am 2.5 months post sleeve, and do not regret it one bit!

So had my VGS surgery on 13th June and have been keeping track of my measurements since about the 3rd of July 2024. Low waist included, as I am male and I wear most of my trousers/jeans low. Waist high is measured above my hips.

3rd July:

• Chest = 52 inches
• Neck = 19 inches
• Waist (high) = 51 inches
• Waist (low) = 53 inches
• Thigh = 31 inches
• Bicep = 18 inches

27 August

• Chest = 50 inches (-2)
• Neck = 18 inches (-1)
• Waist (high) = 47 inches (-4)
• Waist (low) = 50 inches (-3)
• Thigh = 28 inches (-3)
• Bicep = 15.5 inches (-2.5)

So in total that's 15.5 inches lost since around 3 weeks after surgery. This has been especially useful given weight loss has slowed to around 2-3 lbs per week, and is a great motivator for me 😊

Anyone else tracking measurements?

I got a compliment from an office co-worker the other day - something along the lines of "you are looking very trim these days, have you been going to the gym?". I was taken aback by it tbh and awkwardly just said yeah I have - was lost for words!

As has been mentioned being at my biggest, I wanted to avoid any comments on my appearance, so to receive unsolicited feedback like this made me squirm a bit inside, but went home that evening with a smile on my face after I'd thought about it all afternoon.

Massive congrats on your progress so far! I remember your initial profile pic, and you can so tell you have lost in your face! It's funny as I am the same in that respect - seem to have visibly lost in my face first, and folks I haven't seen for a while (and don't know I've had WLS) ask me if I've done something to my face as its different (good different) haha.

I totally agree with the new normal takes some time to get used to. I am at the 2 month mark now and still have to remind myself that I will lose more weight, albeit I have slowed now to about 2-3lbs per week, even with exercise everyday.

RE the out of breath part, I was the same - would struggle to walk up an incline for 2 mins without being out of breath and sweaty, now I can do it no problem.

Keep up the great work, I am sure the stall will move soon.

Well done! I used to hate the gym, more so the feeling of self consciousness and thinking people are looking at me. My surgery date was close to yours & I've been back at the gym for about 3 weeks now as well as walking on non-gym days and am loving it, feel so good after each workout. Keep up the great work, you're smashing it!

Totally agree with Bypass2Freedom here. I couldn't really do much around the house until about 2 weeks post op and had to rein myself in a bit. Plenty of rest is the order of the day, but did manage to get out for a simple 1 mile walk around the day 10 mark.

On 7/23/2024 at 7:05 PM, FifiLux said:

Congrats on your success so far and it is a big plus in understanding your struggles to be able to work on them. Glad the Euros kept you distracted through the first few weeks.

A year out I find that my eyes are still bigger than my stomach and it takes me having to really think about it sometimes to realise I am full.

Another win you will be able to add to your list soon is that when you go out for meals you will probably be able to bring enough leftovers home to do a few meals 😀Two weeks ago a work lunch in the local Chinese meant I brought home enough from my one duck & rice dish to do another two lunches, three dinners and even my cat got a bit.

Thank you! Yes eyes bigger than my stomach I've encountered a few times. My dietician said to chew things 20x before swallowing which helped me realise I am full, which has worked to an extent.

Yes very much looking forward to the social aspect again. My family love eating out for birthdays etc.

Same here in the UK, had to fast from Midnight before surgery. I was grudgingly allowed a small glass of Water about 2 hours before surgery (i was parched) but that was it.

7 minutes ago, Bypass2Freedom said:

Congratulations on your weight loss so far! I bet you are feeling amazing!

I definitely empathise with the low energy - especially early on! I feel that mine is only just starting to get better 😂

I am going on holiday in September, but I am trying to put off buying clothes until the last possible moment!

How is your eating now? I am free to eat "whatever" I want now, but find that I am struggling to manage anywhere between 6-11 mouthfuls. The bariatric nurse says I need to be having at least 20 mouthfuls per meal! Eeek.

All that being said, definitely loving feeling healthier, more confident, and more happy!

Hiya, I certainly do feel a lot better about myself that's for sure.

Oh nice, I bet you cant wait for the holiday! It was very strange but empowering walking into a clothing store and not having to have fingers crossed they have your size.

Nutritionist said to start introducing textured foods now and ease into 'normal' eating. I actually crave salads at the moment and healthy things as opposed to anything bad, which is a 180 from my previous way of looking at food. My mouthfuls vary tbh. for example I made the exact same thing for lunch today as I did yesterday - a 1 egg omelette with grated cheese and small pieces of ham. Ate the lot yesterday bar about 2 mouthfuls and today I haven't even managed half.

I am so glad you're feeling better for it too