daynuhlicious

I've always been heavy. I've always hated it. I've never had the will to change it.
My story really starts in December of 2017 though, when my father died. One month 2 days before his 62nd birthday. 
From there, I guess the stress of everything along with my weight just finally caught up with me.

I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea (AHI 56/hr). My oxygen would drop into the 60's. On my dad's birthday, I was driven to the hospital via ambulance thinking I was having a heart attack. ER confirmed my first ever panic attack. I began seeing a therapist for whatever visits my work would cover, which turned out to be 5 visits. During this time, I was also diagnosed with depression (had that all my life just never diagnosed until this point), PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and panic disorder. Fun times.

I ended up with gallstones as well, and had to have my gallbladder removed. That was my first time ever having a surgery. It was a scary moment. I was also going through a divorce - partially fallen apart from my dad's health decline. I met my now fiance as I was streaming on Twitch, through a mutual friend. I sold the house my dad and I lived in that reverted to me when he died, and moved from North Carolina to Pennsylvania to be with him. He has a biological son and a step son from his previous marriage which also ended about the same time my own did. We have a beautiful little family. He proposed on Sept 15th 2021.

I started going to the gym with him and was sticking to it. I could only handle the pool and the stationary bike, but progress is progress. Then the pandemic hit and gyms closed. I didn't want to go back to the gym because you never know if who you are around takes precautions or even treats Covid as a real threat. Even before that, when I plateau with any diet, the motivation fails with it. I've never EVER, in my life, been successful dieting past the first plateau. So here I am, giving in and finally getting the surgery. I want the pain to stop. I want to be able to spend time and have fun with my bonus kids before I die, and I'd like to not die on them when they need me the most - in their formative years. 

So that's me in a nutshell. If you got this far, thanks for reading!