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Maribelle

LAP-BAND Patients
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Blog Entries posted by Maribelle

  1. Maribelle
    I am getting excited. I went to the store to purchase some pureed food for this week. It is starting to seem more real. And I met the lady who is having surgery right after me here in the Introduction forum! What a coincidence. It feels a little reassuring to have been introduced to someone who will be going through the exact same thing I am on Tuesday. My mother helped me clean up my house tonight so all I have to do is hurry up and wait.
  2. Maribelle
    In my blog yesterday, I was wondering how I would be able to make big, big changes with eating, as I do not have too much faith in my self-discipline with food. Then I was reading some other posts and realized that I had forgotten about exercise! I can make it happen with exercise. If I make some mistakes, working out can help me control the damage. I always used to like to exercise, up until about a year ago when I started feeling too cumbersome. I know I will like to again when my body starts feeling better, and until then, I will force myself to do it to jumpstart this healthy beginning. So I am stressing less and becoming excited about the idea of a new start that does not have to be so daunting.:tt2:
  3. Maribelle
    Sometimes I feel like everyone else on here is so much more motivated and well-adjusted than I am. Truthfully, I want the band to do some of the work for me as far as decreasing my appetite. Is that unrealistic? And I'm not sure I can completely commit to a life of strictly healthy eating. Will is be possible for me to eat just one fun-sized Milky Way bar at Halloween and feel satisfied? I have no idea. I hope. Some of this is rooted in the fact that I am just SO tired of fighting my weight. I'm having a hard time mustering up much faith in my own skills. I am impressed by those people on here who have been fighting this battle much longer than I have, but I am still having a hard time finding an inner resolve to massively, permanently change my life. Really, I want the band to force me to change, at least in some small ways that will make my part easier. I just had to write this down and be honest, because I feel kind of inadequate surrounded by so much resolve and certainty.
  4. Maribelle
    So I did my usual Medifast stuff for breakfast and I was getting pretty hungry. My baby has been sick for the past few days, and it has been a challenge not to turn to food at 3AM when she wakes me up crying and howling. My parents volunteered to watch her for a while this evening while my hubby and I ran a few errands, and I ended up splitting a plate of fajita meat with him. It was SOOOO yummy. It was grilled shrimp, chicken and steak, and I blotted it with a paper towel to remove an excess fat. I had a few pieces of green pepper and grilled tomatoes, as well. My portion was equal to the 4 oz. chicken cutlets I have at home, so I don't feel guilty about the splurge. It looks like it is equal in protein and calories to the Medifast option for the evening (maybe 50 calories more), and it satisfied me. But I guess it is back to the eggs and soup for now.
  5. Maribelle
    It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. When I was trying to choke down the pudding (my least favorite selection so far), I was thinking that I wasn't enjoying it, but that made me realize that I NEVER enjoy food anymore. I'm always gobbling it, whatever I want, and never taking the time to really savor it. So why does it matter if I'm not enjoying a low-cal meal as opposed to not enjoying a high-cal one? All food has become the same to me anyway, and even though I'm a little hungry, I feel much better mentally, knowing that I am preparing to change for good.
     
    So far, I like the Medifast peanut butter bars and the scrambled eggs. The chocolate shakes are OK (a little chalky). The pudding was pretty gross.
     
    But day one is almost over and I haven't died of hunger yet :confused:.
  6. Maribelle
    I want to keep track of this process, so I've decided to start blogging now, at the begining of my journey.
     
    My history:
    I have been overweight since I was 12. My family moved from Hawaii where I was an active kid, to Alaska, where I stayed inside and read all of the time. As long as I can remember, I've been fixated on food and on the lazy side. I was a chubby kid until middle school, when I hit 5'8". I was still overweight, but not too out of the ordinary at a size 12/14. I stayed the same all the way through high school. In college, I lost a little weight as I worked out with friends and enjoyed healthy option in the cafeteria. I was a size 12 when I got married at age 21. My husband and I were happy, and we celebrated with food. We both gained 30 lbs. in the first few years we were together. Steadily, the weight crept on. When we began fertility treatments in 2005 in an attempt to conceive our first child, I gained even more weight. It took a while, but on our 3rd IVF, I got PG and my daughter was born in Septmember of 2007. I had actually lost weight when I was pregnant to keep my baby healthy, but I went CRAZY with food after she was born. Late night feeding became the norm for both of us. Fast forward to June of this year.
     
    Current situation:
    I had become increasingly dejected about my failures with weight loss. I just do not feel like I can do it on my own, as all of my previous failures have made me doubt my weight loss skills. I approached my husband, and suggested using student loans to pay for the surgery. To my surprise, he agreed. I did some research online and was pleased to learn that one of the most esteemed bariatric surgeons in the United States, Trace Curry, is located only 45 minutes away from me in Cincinnati. I went to the info sessioni n June and scheduled my first evaluation that night. I attended the psych eval. in late June, and the pre-op nutrition counseling and physical on Aug. 12.
     
    I am starting my Medifast tomorrow! I am alternately excited and nervous. I'm wondering how I will handle a 12 month old baby and 12 graduate hours in English classes without the comfort of food. I guess I will find out...
     
    I do one week of the Medifast (5-6 food choices per day) and then it is surgery day on Aug. 26. :confused:
  7. Maribelle
    It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. When I was trying to choke down the pudding (my least favorite selection so far), I was thinking that I wasn't enjoying it, but that made me realize that NEVER enjoy food anymore. I'm always gobbling it, whatever I want, and never taking the time to really sacor it. So why does it matter if I'm not enjoying a low-cal meal as opposed to not enjoying a high-cal one? All food has become the same to me anyway, and even though I'm a little hungry, I feel much better mentally, knowing that I am preparing to change for good.
     
    So far, I like the Medifast peanut butter bars and the scrambled eggs. The chocolate shakes are OK (a little chalky). The pudding was pretty gross.
     
    But day one is almost over and I haven't died of hunger yet :confused:.

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