newme22

Hi all, Really happy to have found this space. This is my first post. I have recently undergone the gastric sleeve procedure and opted to tell only my partner and my parents. I am really struggling today with how isolating that feels - to be going through such a huge life change but to not yet feel ready or able to open up to my closest friends about it. It is so lonely. It means my wonderful partner is bearing the brunt of my not so good days, for which I’m feeling very guilty. I’m also having to make excuses to wiggle out of social invitations from friends which feels uncomfortable. I really feel like having a network of people who understand what I’m going through currently to speak openly with will really help me, so thank you to whoever sees this. I’m not sure why I have such a block about opening up about my choice to have surgery. I suppose I worry what others will think, that there is still some stigma around it, that some believe it to be an “easy way out”. I am fully at peace with my reasons for having the surgery, but fear others just won’t get it. I also know via conversations with my Mum that my Dad was not entirely on board with the idea - he is quite old-school with a sort of “why don’t you just eat better and exercise more” mindset. He never spoke to me directly about his views (perhaps as he knew it would upset me) which has again compounded this sense of not being able to be open about my procedure. Whilst I know I should own my decision and not care what others think, I do hope in time he will understand my reasons as we all want our parents’ approval / blessing. For me it truly was my last hope. I definitely do not want to tell colleagues about the nature of my operation as it feels like a very private thing to me. I want to keep work and my personal life as separate as possible. I was wondering if anyone has experienced similar anxieties about telling their nearest and dearest and how you overcame that? What was the outcome if / when you opened up? How did that feel? Really look forward to hearing your thoughts and thanks again for taking the time to read this :) x

Thank you all so much for your invaluable guidance and for sharing your experiences with me. I really appreciate it. Reading them gave me the courage to go for a walk and open up to a close friend about my surgery today - for want of a better phrase it feels like a weight has been lifted! I couldn’t have wished for a nicer and more supportive reaction and I felt a bit silly I’d built it up to be such a scary and big deal. She said she would have loved to have been there for me over the last few weeks too. In terms of speculation about surgery, anyone in my life would tell you that my weight has drastically yo-yoed over the years so I do feel that for those I don’t feel comfortable telling it would be entirely plausible to just keep things vague and say something like I’ve been “working hard at it and eating better”. All true! They’ll probably just think: “here we go again!”. Thanks again everyone :)