Spinoza

i'm 5+ years out.
i love food and everything about it (many on here know this about me already). i love the cooking, baking, making, plating, shopping, researching, testing recipes of it all. i love to watch all the tv cooking shows, all the travel food shows, all the cooking/baking/grilling competition shows. i like to look at pictures of food, smell it, take pictures and videos of it, watch people eat the stuff i make for them. one of my favourite pasttimes it to read restaurant menus in their entirety...like multiple times. i am always down to go out for food and drinks at restaurants/bars with fam and friends, i am always so excited to come up with my contribution(s) to pot-luck parties. love love trying out new restaurants...i have a list of bucket list restaurants around the world i am determined to visit.
...and i love to eat. but to be more precise, i love to TASTE. so small plate venues (dim sum, tapas, izakaya, etc) and tasting menus and pot luck parties are my fave: an abundance of choice and low commitment to just a single large entree. i have will taste all the "good stuff" (easy on the side dishes as they take up too much stomach real estate) and be perfectly happy.
a.k.a. JOY lol.
the one difference with how i enjoy food now is i no longer feel joy with the stuffing of myself. i have vague memories of actually feeling GOOD with a distended belly bursting with something i ate. Now its the opposite. the feeling of being full is very unpleasant to me (to put it mildly). and i think this is key, now that i think of it....
long story short, joy is still on the table...its just up to you where you find it.

Definitely worth reporting to your team OP. They may be able to identify something you're doing or not doing that would help.

I agree with the others - I found warm liquids miles easier to drink a few weeks post op. Glad you're finding your groove OP - so much adjusting to do along the way but it's so worth it!

Oh this is fascinating. Proves I'm still learning even 2.5 years post op. I know now that all the pain and pulling I had around my big incision (mine was on the left though) might have been this. Totally fits.
I had a number of incidents when I bent over and then straightened up (too quickly maybe) that almost floored me.
It totally resolved about 6 weeks after my surgery. Made me think about how I moved for some time though.

Honestly I found it so confusing, even though on the surface it seems like a really simple task! I managed to get hold of my dietician and she has confirmed I can just have another meal replacement shake on top of everything else, so it is technically 4 meals and then 1 snack! I had to send screenshots of everything I'd bought too 🤣 She has the patience of a saint bless her haha.
But yeah I was definitely wrongly assuming that the Meal Replacements had 200 cal - oops.
Thank you for the safe space to talk, I really appreciate it

I’m 11 weeks out from RNY and had a weekend trip away with the grand babies. Hotel had a swimming pool and I discovered I no longer float. I kept sinking and it took so much more work to not drown.

well that's interesting...was not aware (nor experienced) this myself. assuming the changes are NOT related to exercise or lack therof?
echoing BlondeP...what is different this year from last year for instance???
inquiring minds want to know!

This was my first thought too. Many surgeons use an internal scaffolding/bracing type suture which can cause a pulling sensation in many, discomfort &/or a dent. It’s placed in the muscle around the incision through which your tummy was removed. Is it around the larger of your incisions (on your right side)?
When healed it will ‘pop’ which you may or may not be aware of but it is supposed to do this.
Check with your surgeon to be sure.

That is such an easy mistake to make because lots of Meal Replacement programmes have 'meals' bars and shakes that contain 200 calories! I'd have been aiming for 4 too.
It's tricky enough being neurotypical and prepping in advance for what you can and can't eat. I can see it might be even trickier when you're not. Please just come here and let us know how you're doing. Ask loads of questions - someone will always be here to help.
I wish you all the best for your new life.

That is such an easy mistake to make because lots of Meal Replacement programmes have 'meals' bars and shakes that contain 200 calories! I'd have been aiming for 4 too.
It's tricky enough being neurotypical and prepping in advance for what you can and can't eat. I can see it might be even trickier when you're not. Please just come here and let us know how you're doing. Ask loads of questions - someone will always be here to help.
I wish you all the best for your new life.

That is such an easy mistake to make because lots of Meal Replacement programmes have 'meals' bars and shakes that contain 200 calories! I'd have been aiming for 4 too.
It's tricky enough being neurotypical and prepping in advance for what you can and can't eat. I can see it might be even trickier when you're not. Please just come here and let us know how you're doing. Ask loads of questions - someone will always be here to help.
I wish you all the best for your new life.

Oooh I hope this is going to be a fascinating thread - what is 'it's gone too far' - is it in the eye of the beholder?? We might all have our own idea of that. Thanks for the chance to discuss this OP!!
I get asked pretty regularly now whether or not I am well (I SO AM) and whether or not I planned to lose this much weight (I SOOOOO DID). The inference being - you at best look thin of face and body, or at worst look really unwell (in that person's eye). I filter/ignore those comments depending on how much I trust/want to hear about that person's eye!
I think allowing people to do what they want to and need to with their bodies for their own reasons without judgement is probably a good thing on a general and totally generic level. I know it can be difficult when people go beyond what we ourselves are comfortable with, and then that it goes up another level if they do things well outside our norms AND societal norms.
If they are not hurting anybody then fantastic. Honestly you do you - if you want to have a skeletal face (and get paparazzi to follow you and your daughter for a day of "shopping") and it feels good to you then dooooooo it! And make your money out of it if you need that too.
Absolutely ready for a big old discussion on this one. 😍

what you are describing sounds like the very common behaviour in our demographic of using food for comfort.
you are going through something very difficult and your go-to self-soothing/self-medicating M.O. is not comfortably available to you because of your surgery. which makes your current difficult situation even more difficult and depressing to bear.
is there someone (preferably therapist) that you could reach out to work through this with you?
being able to deal with difficult situations in a different (and healthy) way other than with food would be beneficial not only now but also for your future.
and yes, i know, easier said, but it all starts with one step in the right direction. and recognizing you need help is a good first step.
good luck ❤️

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Break ups can be very hard. I had a bad one when I was about your age & went through a period of depression & anxiety. Ended up leaving my job & moving back home. The depression coloured everything in my life. It may be doing the same for you too & causing you to regret the surgery & a change of behaviour that has bought you many benefits (weight loss, health improvements, more active, fewer restrictions, etc,).
Yes, I’m considerably older than you & that means I can look at things differently than you so I don’t mind if you think I’m talking rubbish & don’t understand. 🙂 My friends are big eaters & drinkers & the first couple of times we went out after my surgery I felt a little uncomfortable & conspicuous because I sipped one alcoholic drink for hours, took a while to eat & ordered small plates. Then I realised, I wasn’t going out with them to eat & drink, I was going out with them to spend time with them. What I ate or didn’t eat & what I drank or didn’t drink was irrelevant. It was our friendship that was important. We socialise often (though likely not as often as you). At each others’ homes, bars, fine dining restaurants, etc. My surgery & food choices haven’t stopped us or slowed us down once (oh, except when they wanted to go to an high tea with unlimited champagne - I rarely eat sweet & one glass of champagne would be ample so not worth it. We did dinner instead.)
Actually one of my friends decided to have surgery the year after me though she is more flexible in her food & drinking choices than me. Another one wants to have the surgery. And the fourth in our group, has slowed her eating & is making better food & alcohol choices. Not for anything I’ve said. I guess I’ve become a bit of a role model for a healthier life. LOL!
Maybe have a chat with someone, like a therapist, about how you’re feeling to help you work through this.

Hi OP - are you vegan or just wanting to incorporate more plant based foods into your post surgery diet?
If the latter I would recommend all sorts of veggie Soups with added lentils or Beans for Protein. Tomato and basil. Carrot and coriander. Traditional vegetable Soup.
It has always been and will always be my go to when I can't decide what to cook. Super easy, super quick. 💪

And you're not even a year post op! I lost 10lbs in my second year. If you stick to your plan you may lose even more.

Oh yeah, that is properly weird! I briefly hit that a few months ago. Strange to think of yourself walking around with another yourself on piggyback. WLS is the best. 🤩

OK so you're still losing, albeit slowly. Think you might be approaching *the rest of your life*! Welcome to the far side. Keep lots of fruit and veggie Snacks to hand.
You have done so so well. Hunger comes back to all of us after WLS - almost always. If you've been able to change how and what you eat in the last year you should be OK. I know it's freaky to actually feel hunger again after such a lovely honeymoon period. But you'll be fine if you keep track of what you eat and why. 😍

I walk a lot and run a little.
When I was younger and fitter I was a long distance runner. I now dally with 2-3 mile runs once or twice a week just to prove that I still can.
Walking is the workhorse of my exercise regime though. Less chance of injury and totally sustainable for at least the next few years (I hope).

OK so you're still losing, albeit slowly. Think you might be approaching *the rest of your life*! Welcome to the far side. Keep lots of fruit and veggie Snacks to hand.
You have done so so well. Hunger comes back to all of us after WLS - almost always. If you've been able to change how and what you eat in the last year you should be OK. I know it's freaky to actually feel hunger again after such a lovely honeymoon period. But you'll be fine if you keep track of what you eat and why. 😍

I never lost my hunger. Not with the sleeve and not with the revision to bypass. I just have more of a hard stop now that can't be ignored. My big thing has always been training my head. It's HARD, but very necessary. I always made sure I had 3 meals and 2 snack and a TON of fluids. And by a ton, I do mean A TON. My head told me I needed to eat, even when I knew I didn't. And that can manifest into physical hunger. I put myself on a schedule. Breakfast between this time and this time, snack here, lunch around this time, snack here, dinner between this time and this time. And then DRINK, DRINK, DRINK. Eventually my head and stomach learned when it's time to eat and when it's not. I only really run into trouble if I miss those times by a lot. THEN I'm in a minefield.
Focus on Protein as your #1 with food and Snacks. That fills you up and keeps you full longer. Veggies are 2nd. Then carbs and HEALTHY fats. Sometimes at night, I'll have a sugar free popsicle if I really can't ignore the 3rd snack craving. I don't do it often, but the tropical ones are my favorite and they hit the spot.
Make sure you're getting enough calories. Don't starve yourself, but also don't over eat. It's all about balance and training your brain. It takes a lot of time, patience, and effort. But I promise it's worth it.

a couple weeks ago i remember your post about your struggle to stop losing...are you still losing while this hunger appeared? perhaps its your body's response to the weight losses...? if thats the case, then perhaps listen to your bod and eat more?
i can imagine that eating more is in itself a struggle...it took me 3-4 months to get over the mental block to actually stop diet mode (and like 2 years to get over the mental block of eating bread/rice/pasta lol)
if im not mistaken you just recently reached goal? (congrats again btw), my suggestion would be to give yourself a bit more time (ie several months) to find your happy spot, it usually takes a while before you get to the autopilot of maintenance...great suggestions above...experiment with (small amounts) of (preferably nutritious) foods and amounts and see what help with the hunger. keep an eye on the scale in tandem to determine any causal relationships with certain foods.
but yeah, i know, "easier said...".
good luck, and it CAN be done! ❤️

OK so you're still losing, albeit slowly. Think you might be approaching *the rest of your life*! Welcome to the far side. Keep lots of fruit and veggie Snacks to hand.
You have done so so well. Hunger comes back to all of us after WLS - almost always. If you've been able to change how and what you eat in the last year you should be OK. I know it's freaky to actually feel hunger again after such a lovely honeymoon period. But you'll be fine if you keep track of what you eat and why. 😍

OK I am not a vet so feel free to ignore. Someone with much more experience will be along shortly and I too will be reading with interest.
If you could track what you're eating now, in an app of your choosing, then that might help A LOT. Know thine enemy and all that.
If I was in your shoes (and I may well be in a few years' time) then I think I would go back to Protein first at most meals. Loads of veggies first at at least one meal a day too - raw or cooked. Track all of your macros. Ditch ultra processed foods and refined carbs *completely* - they are nobody's friends.
For my own info please may I ask how long you maintained for following your sleeve and how quickly you regained when things got stressful?

Life just throws it all at you some times & I’m sorry you’ve been through a lot.
Unfortunately the pouch reset is a fairy story/old wives’ tale. What needs to be reset is not your tummy but your head. Remember all that head work we had to do in the beginning? The stress, emotions & changes you’ve been experiencing has likely meant those old bad habits have snuck in again & you’ve been turning to food to comfort yourself. It’s easy to become complacent too. All completely understandable.
Don’t know if you were a food tracker or not, but tracking even for a couple of weeks like @Spinoza suggested will help you identify what you may need to adjust - food choices, Protein & fluid goals, portion sizes, nutrition. Then start by making one or two changes & another one or two a couple of weeks later. Small changes are easier to adopt & adapt to. Probably aim to get back to about where you were when your weight stabilised & how you initially maintained.
Maybe contact your nut/dietician to help you get back in the right mindset. Therapy may help you manage & better cope with the stress you’ve been experiencing too so you don’t turn to food.
You’ve been successful for ten years. You can do it again. All the best.