Speschalk

My goodness did you save me! The Fairlife is unbelievable! So much better. I don't feel like the sky is falling anymore. I am very relieved. Thank@cellbell.

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@cellbell thank you so much! I am on the hunt for Fairlife. My brain knows all of the facts you shared, but my little soul hasn't comprehended yet. I will get there.

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Sounds like this is HIS problem. Without knowing him, it sounds as though he's insecure about himself.
Advice from an old retired RN- your health comes first. You do YOU.

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While I believe that you do indeed need to have a heart-to-heart with your husband and explain exactly how your feeling and lay out all of the emotions and reasons behind your decision to do what you want to your body... I disagree that you need to spend the rest of your life explaining yourself to him. Additionally, once you've laid your heart out on the table and explained your decision, (IMO) he'll need to make a decision to support you, his wife, or to not support you.
While I appreciate @thegreaterfool giving you the man's point of view, I don't think it took into account what you need from your spouse. You need support from your spouse just as much as your spouse needs you to support him. It's a give and take ... not just a give, give, give. So while yes, he needs to hear and feel your support to quell his worries right now, you're going to need his support too. 50/50 give and take, not just give and give some more. He has to care about your relationship as much as you do to put in his 50%.
Best of luck to you and I hope your talk with him goes well and that he's able to understand your choice and decision enough to partner with you on the decision and you can carry each other moving forward. Because this is a huge life decision, you're going to need him, too.

Oh boy, I'm so sorry he's doing this to you. Self esteem issues are complex and his behaviour is a checklist of that. He's nagging about doing it through diet/exercise because he knows that way leads to failure, and your success also makes him feel bad about his own failure to lose. Plus the "our fatness keeps us together" thing. Such a mess to unpick, I really hope he comes around.
My partner was also resistant initially. He never badgered me, or said nasty things, but he'd go quiet and I'd know something was up (and it's worth noting that he's thin and has never had food issues like me). When I got my initial consult appointment, it came to a head. I asked what was wrong, and he admitted that he wasn't happy about me doing this, that it was extreme etc. Well ... i lost it. I'd been planning and waiting for this for at least a year and a half, and I couldn't hold my emotions in and I just broke down and in an unstoppable monologue, told him how utterly miserable I was, how I wasn't living, how I wanted my life back, how I wanted to feel I could socialise again and not be mortified by my appearance, how I wanted to go with him to events and not be ashamed and worried that everyone was thinking "what's he doing with that fat pig" (my exact words to him). I let it all out. How my life for the last decade has been utterly, utterly miserable.
He had no idea I'd been feeling like this. He was stunned. I'm not a "talk about our emotions" person and prefer to make jokes and keep life light, so this was stuff I should have told him a long time ago, but hey, better late than never I guess. It changed the ratio for him, and realising how I really felt, he was then 100% on board with me.
We've a different situation of course, and I'm not suggesting "losing it and breaking down in a wailing mess" is the fix, but I definitely learned a "clear communication is probably a good idea" lesson.
I really hope you can get through to him.

you really do need to take your Vitamins. Gastric bypass involves malabsorption of nutrients, so you could develop deficiencies over time. Some deficiencies you can recover from, and others not. Taking vitamins for life is part of the deal.
on your other topic, if you stick to your plan, you'll eventually get to your goal. The closer you get to it, the slower the weight loss will be. The last few months I lost like 2 lbs (about a kilo) a month, but I kept at it and the weight loss didn't stop until I was 20 months out.

Robotic surgery is NOT like driver-less trains or pilot-less airplanes. The surgeon sits at a table, looks into a 3D monitor and actually manipulates the arms of the robot. Your surgeon is able to get a magnified 3-D view with high-definition while operating from a comfortably seated position. Your surgeon can operate precisely with these advantages:
Improved dexterity Wider range of motion Enhanced visualization including areas that are not visible by the naked eye Improved access to otherwise almost inaccessible areas Improved outcomes, sparing healthy tissue

It’s so interesting to see how different all the post op diets are. I had the surgery two days ago and had Clear Liquids the day after and now on the liquid diet for two weeks. Yesterday I was starving! Today I am barely eating. Everything tastes super sweet and all my options look “yuck”. How often was everyone eating and drinking at this point?

I totally understand this thread! I’m 4 weeks post op and that first week it was so painful to drink. Like fluids would hit my stomach and my abdomen would seize and scream in pain. I actually ended up getting readmitted a week later because of dehydration. I just couldn’t get enough in and take the pain.

Hey all!
I’m three weeks post op today from bypass. I’ve been very lucky with easily getting down the required liquids and my small blended meals.
I’m suddenly struggling with food obsession again. I was okay the first while bc I knew I couldn’t, but now I’m trying actual food and really want the “bad” food. I want pizza and creamy pastas and the chocolate. I’ve held off so far, but have been creeping over the calories.
It doesn’t help that I’m not losing much weight. “Only” 5 lbs in the last two weeks.
I think the amount of free time isn’t helping. I’m still off work and most of my friends/family are busy this time of year.

Any suggestions?

Hello!
I received gastric sleeve surgery on October 13th. It has been very re-assuring to read all of your stories and questions. Knowing that many of you are having the same pains and issues has helped calm a lot of my concerns/fears.
I will admit that these first two weeks were very challenging. I had many “why on earth did I choose this?” moments. I am seriously grieving the loss of my favorite foods. Lord please help me control myself if I have to watch another gooey cheese pizza commercial!
But, I decided to have gastric sleeve when my blood pressure kept creeping up to dangerously high levels (190s). I was scared I would have a heart attack any day. This surgery has renewed my hope in my future long life. Since I started working with the nutritionist at the end of July, I have lost 46 pounds. After surgery, my blood pressure has reached normal healthy numbers (110) for the first time in years!
So, I am trying to remain focused on the positive reasons rather than my loss of gooey cheese pizza.

I’m on day 4 post surgery and am having a very hard time with fluids & Protein. I have Water constantly near me and am sipping on it constantly, might be getting 12-14 oz a day. My protein intake is around 30 grams a day, I can’t finish a shake, I put it back in the fridge and have some protein Soup, can only manage a few sips of that. More that a sip feels like a brick is sitting on my chest. My Dr told me most people struggle with it and just do the best I can. I’ve read through the threads and it seems pretty common. I’m actually up a couple pounds since surgery, hoping that’s the gas and will start seeing the scale go down soon. Hurt like hell the first 2 days, the shoulder pain!! 🔥🔥 And day 3 my arms and hands hurt so bad my husband got compression gloves for me that helped. Looking forward to the honeymoon phase cuz it certainly isn’t here yet. 😉

Aww, honey. Beating yourself up doesn't count as cardio, so cut it out. You're letting fear and anger make you miserable; why not give love and respect a chance instead?

the difference this time is that it will actually "work" as long as you put in the effort. On previous diets, I'd lose 50 lbs (that is, on my more successful tries), hit a brick wall, and then the weight would eventually come back. You are constantly fighting biology. This time, you won't be fighting biology. That has all been reset.
a 10-20 lb regain, usually in year 2 or 3 (after you hit your lowest weight), is very common - I knew that going into it and purposely lost a little more than I wanted to, knowing it was quite likely I'd end up where I wanted to be in the first place. But gains beyond that are due to bad habits creeping back in. You do have to be diligent. I still closely monitor myself, and I'm over six years out.

You are not alone & you’re not a F-up. We all likely have experienced various degrees of success losing weight in the past but I’m 100% positive we all failed at keeping it off. If we had been successfully at keeping the weight we’d lost off we wouldn’t have been obese & lined up for the surgery. And I’m pretty sure at some point & in varying degrees we all worried that the surgery wouldn’t work for us either.
I’ve never ever been able to maintain a low weight for longer than a month or two. I’d get complacent, think oh eating this won’t hurt. But it did. And very quickly I’d have gained a lot back & I’d be lying in bed at night saying tomorrow I’ll eat better just as @Officially Not Fatty Matty said.
What’s made this time different for me is that I realised that I had to really look at what I had been eating, my eating habits & why I would want to eat. I also had to come to accept that this wasn’t a short term diet restricting what I ate for a few weeks or months but a complete forever change of what I ate. I realised if I went back to the way I used to eat, I’d fail again & end up exactly where I had been - obese. If I hadn’t had these ‘come to Jesus’ type realisations I know I would not have lost all my weight & actually be maintaining it.
Yes, the surgery helped by reducing my hunger & reducing how much food I can physically eat. But most importantly it gave me the time to reflect on the what, how & why I ate & start to put in place the changes I wanted & needed to make to be truely successful this time. The change of mind set was vital. I was able to do this myself but others seek the support of a therapist. Don’t be reluctant to seek help if you need. There are lots of people on this forum who have had lots of success doing so.
It can be very scary to try to imagine & understand how & what you will eat in the future & how you will cope without your old emotional crutch foods. Food grief is real. A therapist can help. The cravings, our emotional drives to eat & our own proclivities never go away, we just learn to better recognise them & develop strategies to manage them.
Any one can learn to cook (my sister-in-law’s 74 yr old father just learnt cause his wife died) & this is a great time to experiment. You don’t have to get good enough to enter MasterChef. Simple basic home cooking is all you need but if you enjoy it … I always cooked but have to admit I cook pretty simply now. Food has a different purpose. I look at food more as a source of energy & not as a way to satisfy some craving, an emotional support or social activity. It still has to be yummy but the nutritional content is equally or more important. Sure I have cut a lot of things out of my diet but I still enjoy everything that goes into my mouth. Honestly, when I look at fast food ads, social media pxts of overly sweet foods, massive portions, etc. I’m revolted now. My stomach actually turns over.
This is my story & what has been working for me so far. Reality is I’m still pretty much a newbie & am still learning. Like @Jaelzion, I don’t know what the future will bring. Life can throw a lot of crap at you at times. I’m in the dangerous third year when the possibility of the 10lb+/- bounce back regain is high. But damn I’m gonna work hard at continuing to watch my calorie intake & being careful about my food choices.
All the best.

I rarely cook these days. I cooked a lot when my Dad was living with me, but now that it's just me, it seems like a lot of effort to cook for just one person. Plus, since surgery, I rarely sit down and eat a full meal. I eat mini-meals throughout the day. I'll buy a rotisserie chicken or baked chicken breast from the grocery store a couple of slices at some point in the morning and a couple more at some point in the evening. I'll eat a fried or boiled egg. I'll eat a yogurt. I like to munch on baby carrots. I start the day with a low-carb latte. Now that I am in maintenance, I eat fruit. I'll eat a cheese stick (or two). So the post-op diet can be done without a lot of cooking if you wish.
I will say it's easier post-surgery because my appetite is about 65% of what it was before surgery. Right after surgery, I had no appetite at all, and it returned slowly. But never to the same level as before. And post-op I rarely have a strong craving for anything. Everyone doesn't have that experience, but that's how it's been for me, so far.
Like you, I had not been a normal weight since childhood, so my new body is still somewhat surreal to me. I've lost all my excess weight, but some degree of regain is pretty common. You only have to review the forum to see that. And a lot of us know that person who had weight loss surgery, lost an incredible amount of weight and gained almost all of it back. I'm about 2 and 1/2 years out from surgery, and I've only been in maintenance for about eight months of that. So I'm not an expert on maintenance by any means. But I'm trying to keep myself accountable as best I can. For me, that means that I track my food, I weigh regularly, if I see my weight creep up 5 pounds, I immediately cut back and try to get it back down. I have an occasional treat (like cake or pie or something) but normally I stick to my maintenance plan.
I don't plan to regain, but I know it can happen. I don't know what I will weigh in 5 years (shoot, I don't know if I'll be ALIVE in 5 years, LOL). But while I'm here I will keep fighting the good fight! It would have been a losing fight without the surgery but I feel like I have a shot at keeping the weight off now.

Whoa this is a tough one…. Truthfully many (most? All?) of us have failed at every diet. We’ve all probably sat in bed falling asleep and promising ourselves that tomorrow will be the day I take this seriously. We’ve all failed over and over again otherwise we wouldn’t be here in this forum talking about having (or having had) surgery to help us achieve what we want but have yet been able to achieve. You’re not alone, you’re not even in the minority here. You’re all of us and we are all you. Some of us are just in different parts of the same journey.
Since you know it would be disingenuous for us to tell you “yeah you’ll do great” I’ll spare you the line. We can’t know how you or any other one person will do on this path. We can tell you that for many many many of us it has worked when everything else failed. It can be life altering in the best of ways.
The pre op diet sucks. It seriously sucked for me, I had all the same thoughts you did. But I got through it, I did cheat but recovered. Once the stomach was gone it got drastically easier for me. I was you. I had doubts, I thought I would be the rare exception and fail. I’m not far enough out to say regain can never happen…. But I’m saying it will never happen. I was you. And you will - statistically speaking - very likely end up being me. I know you’re not happy the way you are, or you would have failures in your past and you wouldn’t be here. So I ask… why not? The way I feel today? Despite the fears and doubts it was worth it, 100000 times over.
I don’t cook either. Neither does my wife. My meals don’t look anything like the meals in the “food before and after” thread. Not one bit. I lived off cottage cheese and cucumbers and tomatoes until I moved back into meats. My lunches are a couple pieces of deli meat and some cheese and I’ll squirt some off brand mayo in the middle and roll it up. Last week I bought a burrito from chipotle and ate most of it over four days (two meals a day). I still enjoy food, flavors haven’t changed, what I liked before I like today. I can eat anything I want, but I never want much at all. Shockingly so compared to the amount I used to eat. Some people have to be very careful and strict, some people are able to not be so careful. It depends on so many factors, but I will say for the first few months be super careful and stick to the plan. You’ll figure out your hang ups, you’ll know if being near food is a trigger, and you’ll know what risks you can take. And if you can’t figure it out, we are here for you to help. Therapy might be a great option for you as well. I didn’t need one for my plan, and I don’t really think it would have been helpful for me anyway, but that’s just me. Self reflect and don’t be afraid to say to yourself “I need someone professional to help me work through this.” If you need it.
I wish you success, I hope you become like the new me, because I feel like I’m talking to the old me right now. You CAN do this.

I'm wondering what in the world makes me think I can do this. What makes me think I can keep to the diet post op? I'm so lazy when it comes to cooking. I don't have a lot of spoons where that is concerned. I don't have room in my kitchen. I am not a good cook and I hate making anything vaguely complicated. I was ordering takeout two times a week until recently because I don't like cooking. Now I have to learn this whole new way of cooking and the mere thought stresses me out. I need cookbooks for idiots with no cooking skills, and I need more spoons. I hate cooking. I'm going to hate trying new recipes even more.
I know, I know. If I think I can't, then I can't. But I'm really torturing myself over this right now. I don't want to fail. I don't want to mess it up, but let's face it. I have failed every diet lifestyle change I have ever embarked on, even though I told myself that the change HAD to be forever. I don't know what the hell my problem is, and why I can't do it, but I haven't been able to do it in 41 years, and I don't know what makes me think that this time will be different. I read about people experiencing regain and it scares me. I have been fat my entire life. I started dieting when I was eight. I'm particularly miserable right now on this liver shrink diet, and I don't know what to do about it.
I know my diet won't consist of the same thing every single freaking day the way it does right now, nor will it be two shakes a day which leave me hungry or a salad that leaves me hungry. But it's reminiscent of every diet I've ever done, where I was hungry all the time, and eventually cracked. The smaller stomach will help with that.
I am, however, worried about my own proclivities. Just a small cheat here, just another cheat there, and the next thing I know I've undone any good I've done with the surgery and gained some or all of it back. I need someone to lie to me and tell me I can do this. That I'm not going to be a huge failure at this the way I've been for my entire life with dieting lifestyle changes. You're not a failure until you give up, bla bla bla. Maybe it's time to give up. Just keep in my tiny world of work and home until I die young because that's what I deserve.
I mean, why would I change the way I'm eating permanently? Eating garbage almost works. It almost fills that void, and if you have something that almost works, and maybe next time will be the time it works, why would you stop for something completely unknown?
I'm utterly miserable on this diet every day come dinner time and for the rest of the evening. I don't want to be utterly miserable on the new way of eating forever, nor do I want to do the inevitable thing of falling off the wagon and regaining some or all of the weight.
Maybe I'm just not meant to be a normal weight. I haven't been my entire life, what makes me think I can start now?
I know, I'm feeling awfully sorry for myself at the moment. Not sure what to do about it. Or if anything can or should be done about it? Am I going through all of this and spending all of this money for nothing? Should I even bother? I'm not just down about it. I'm in a panic about failing. So yeah. Lie to me. Tell me everything is going to be ok, and I'm not a perpetual eff-up.

I'm with @PolkSDA on this one (Full disclosure: I used to be Team Ultra-Low Carb during weight loss phase and some months afterwards, but had changed my tune since.)
OP, I eat "unhealthy" stuff on the regular. Mostly in the from of dessert-y stuff, and fried stuff. I still limit my carb-y bread/rice/pasta intake, but eat some once in a while ,esp if it's homemade. I also drink (alcohol) regularly.
I'm sure many of the members on here would tsk-tsk or clutch their pearls at the range of foods I eat. But I get it...my eating habits, while they work for me and my lifestyle, would be an utter crash and burn for others. I know my limits and boundaries and they know theirs. We all succeed and fail under different circumstances. The secret is to figure out what special set of circumstances will work for YOU.
I track everything I eat (garbage and all), and make decisions on what I am willing to eat based on what MFP says, as well as what my scale says in the morning. This protocol has been serving me well for 2 years.
I am only almost 3 years post op, so am really still just "at the beginning of the rest of my life", so who knows if what I'm doing will sustain me. But its working so far.
P.S. I am 5'2" female, 115 lbs and have been maintaining this weight (+/- 5 lbs) for 2 years.
Good Luck! ❤️

I probably single-handedly supported the entire beef Jerky industry during weight loss phase (and some months after that). Little to no sugar, lotsa Protein and satisfied my never-ending salt cravings. I always had a little ziploc of it in my purse.
I also ate alot of cottage cheese and yogurt.
After weight loss phase, I went through a love-affair with chicharron (i.e., pork rinds/cracklins). But I wouldn't recommend this until you are past weight loss phase as they are VERY high in calories (but also very high in protein).
In terms of substitutes and alternatives, here are some examples of items I ate (and still eat)...note that I was ultra-low carb during weight loss phase, and and try to be semi-low carb now (but don't always succeed, lol)
Shiratake noodles instead of Pasta (actually very low nutrtion-wise, but I had to eat my saucy foods with something!) chicken pizza crusts instead of wheat based pizza crusts (I also did cauliflower crusts, but I personally prefer the chicken ones). Kale chips instead of chips-chips Berries instead of higher-sugar fruits cashew milk instead of regular milk almond flour instead of wheat flour (careful: almond flour is way higher in calories) Stevia or erythritol instead of sugar sparkling Water with lemon instead of pop/soda

Sorry, kale is of the devil. It is pure evil in food form. 😁
There is no single "right way" when it comes to eating/snacking habits. We're all different, both physiologically and more importantly, psychologically. What works for me may not work for you, etc.
When I read "Forget Snacks entirely, unless..." I immediately tune out. Things couched in absolutes don't resonate with me. Sure, those prohibitions may be absolute in YOUR experience, but they may not be so for others.
My nutritionist has been reinforcing that WE SHOULD be snacking post-surgery; 4-6 small meals per day is important to success. Advocating against that IMO runs counter to generally accepted practices.
Now with respect to what the composition of those snacks are, that IMO is a *VERY* YMMV issue.
Me? I eat garbage. I have my fast food and my chips, Cookies, etc.... but in much, MUCH smaller quantities than before I started this journey. Some might say that this is setting myself up for long-term failure, but I say au contraire!
I loathe cooking. I hate it. I can't be bothered by it. I don't want to "learn to enjoy it". I don't find value in it with respect to my time and/or convenience. Never have.
That's in my makeup. I am what I am.
I know myself and my weaknesses. I *NEED* to enjoy food. If it's food just for the sake of eating and nutrition, I WILL find a way to cheat, "sneaking" bad food on the side IN ADDITION to whatever healthy food I'm supposed to be eating... which IMO is far, far worse, given the increased caloric intake and quantity eaten.
Better that I cut to the chase and eat small portions of "bad" food that will satisfy me than to eat food I don't enjoy and still be psychologically unsatisfied, if that makes any sense.
It's better for me to work within the constraints of my weaknesses than to ignore them or try to futilely change what I believe to be fundamentally unalterable.
This morning I hit a new alltime low adult weight since age 18... 37 years ago... and my weight is still going down (albeit very slowly now) 13.5 months after surgery... so however unconventional, it's working.
I would hardly recommend this approach to anyone else... we're all different.

If I want sweet I go to fruit. If I want salty then nuts. On rare occasions, like when I have friends over for drinks on the deck, I’ll have hummus on whole grain rice crackers - can be moorish though.
I did find a seed, nut & dried fruit cluster ‘no added sugar’ snack but the reality was they’re sweetened with honey so the sugar content & calories were actually quite high comparatively. You really have to look carefully at the ingredient list & nutrition panel when making your decision.
If I want something sweet or dessert like I make chia pudding. I keep it simple just the chia seeds & milk (low fat, full fat or nut if you prefer) & flavour with vanilla only. On the recommendation of my dietician I used to also add some powdered milk to up the Protein but I found that made it too sweet.
I haven’t gone down the high protein biscuits or chips route because I just felt it would be an easy step back to eating the high fat high sugar versions for me. Some eat them without any issue.
PS - I love Dr Weiner’s you tube videos @Sunnyway. Simple, plain speaking.

Forget Snacks entirely unless they are Protein or vegetable. They grease the slippery slope to regaining what you have lost. I speak from experience. I am approaching RNY revision and I will not make the same mistakes again.
The pre-op food plan and the (clear/full liquid/puree) stages post op while we are not getting hungry give us the opportunity to establish a new way of eating. If we seek sugar-free or Keto snacks we are merely making some substitutes for the OLD way of eating. It's too easy to find ourselves eating sugared and carbohydrate snacks and food when we don't happen to have the "-free" type.
Just because substitute snack foods are sold on bariatric sites does not mean they are good for us. If we are wise we will ignore those products.
Eat whole foods, fresh or frozen vegetables and fruits, quality poultry and meat products. Avoid sugar, sugar substitutes, wheat/flour products, and processed foods. We can get plenty of tasty food to eat with these choices.
I encourage you to obtain and read these two books by Dr. Matthew Weiner: A Pound of Cure and The Bariatric Guide and Cookbook. There are lots of other bariatric cookbooks available, too, including some for Air Fryers, InstaPots, and CrockPots. These will help you learn your new way of eating.

pictures are included so please be advised before hand I do include the surgery pictures just not to gross just the healed scars and all of what a fleur de lis Tummy Tuck looks like!!! 💢‼️‼️
Well it will soon be my 2 year anniversary for the gastric sleeve and let me tell you what kinda of world wind it has been! To this day if I eat more then 4 ounces of steak I can’t eat anything for the rest of the day since it feels stuck but so far I have been able to eat regular foods. My breads still have to be toasted to not get the tummy gurgles. My stomach talks to everyone especially at night so if I am in a night class and I haven’t smacked at my usually 4 hours it’s like “hey professor hear me answer you” so YES my stomach after I eat speaks to the whole room and after hours as well. The bathroom problem is still a problem so I can poop regularly for 2-3 days and after I’m stuck for 2 day with nothing unless I have a day full of meals then I am golden. I also had a fleur de lis tummy tuck back in January. And that itself was a mess and such a hard recovery which was worth it to fit into my clothes, just wish I didn’t have those hiccups.

food wise I have been eating a bit more from what I did in the beginning but never a full size normal plate always the little Cereal bowl. So I would say I can eat about a cup or so of food depending on the food heavy steaks only 4-5 ounces and some side dishes. But it’s always at 8 ounces max on good days and other day a bit more. I was seeing a nutritionist even at 2 years in and she had been amazing.

weight gain and loss : before my surgeries I was at 256lb after I lost 92 pounds, then after the tummy tuck they removed about 10lbs of skin from my mid section.
i was down to 147lbs in January of 2021 after the tummy tuck then now in November I have normalized to a regular weight of 154lbs -156lbs in all it had been a very very long journey and I would say for the most part I would do it again if given the opportunity.

now for the pictures guys it has been really really amazing to see me like this find me on Instagram ☺️ @aishas1992

My surgeon does not even use a liver shrinking diet. So having a slip will probably not impact your surgery.

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