JayinMA

Ok, so again it’s been a couple days since I checked in. My life has been crazy and stressful (which means food was consumed) but things are going alright. I was sure when I went in for my first fill I would have gained, scientifically it was obvious it was going to happen. I had gone crazy with food. Once I realized I could eat anything, well I did. But when I got there, I found out I hadn’t gained anything. I hadn’t lost anything either, but I hadn’t gained, so small victory there. Although if I had gained I think it would have been more of a kick in the pants motivation starter. I want to try going to the gym early in the morning. Waking up at 5:30 a.m. going to the gym from 6 to 7 and then back home to shower and be at work at 8:45. Now, on paper, simple. I cannot get my body to actually accomplish this goal. I want to make it my routine. Hopefully it won’t be bitterly cold when I wake up because that will be the kiss of death. So I should probably explain what I said in the previous posts about being on my own. I don’t discount you guys at all, I love the support the site and particularly this post offers. I just heard over and over again that the band was a tool (and I’m not saying it’s not) but I feel that it hadn’t been pulling it’s weight lately. And I had started talking to it in my head (I might be certifiably crazy at this point) it’s kind of like this Me: So…. I just ate like 4 slices of pizza with no objection from you.. What gives? Band: Oh? Oh I have to do this alone? You can’t look at 4 slices of pizza and know it’s too much? Me: I just thought you’d help out. Band: I’m 2 months old, jackass, you expect me to undo everything it took you 26 years to do in 2 months? Unrealistic expectations my friend. Me: I really don’t need this. Band: You really didn’t need 4 slices of pizza either. It always gets the last word. But Dr. R put in 4 cc’s and unfortunately I didn’t even feel restriction at all. I thought that it would probably take one or two more fills, but I heard some people have a little restriction the first day or so and it eventually tapers off. Well, I didn’t seem to have any at all. Which makes me a little nervous that it might take 4 or 5 fills until I actually feel it. On the plus side, I bought a new car this weekend, so so long crapbox I was driving! Did someone say they were going to the Faulkner support group this month? Who? And when is it? Maybe I’ll try to drop by that one.

Hi everyone, im still kicking around, ggoing for my fill tomorrow (dr. R wouldn't give me one last time. I was pretty upset, but then I stopped being upset, so I was just pretty) Paige- great new pic, you look awesome and congrats on telling some people. I hope this fill does something for me, I've felt pretty alone in this lately and have been gaining weight which is depressing. So fingers crossed!

Thank you for the reassurance. It's odd to think that I got something stuck when I didn't think anything was in the band!

So... I don't know what happened to me today. I was at lunch, and I had some mashed potatoes. Which I have eaten a few times since surgery especially during the mushy phase. I take two bites and...uh oh. I'm stuck? I've had a few feelings of something similar before where I swallowed too big of a bite or something and it's a little painful for about 30 seconds and then you feel it pass. But this time it stayed there. I could feel the pressure on my chest. And I made my way into the bathroom and started to dry heave. Nothing came up. I start to wonder if I'm possessed. Next I heave and I expel from my devil riddled body nothing more than a bunch of saliva. Which is odd for several reasons, what happened to the mashed potatoes? Did they make it down and the saliva didn't? I'm nota scientist, but I would think it would go liquids first then the denser of the foods would go next. However, not the case. The point of my post is to ask, was that a PB? Because to my understanding that would be a Productive Burp, but I didn't burp and nothing was produced. If I tell Dr. R. about this tomorrow do you think he might not give me a fill? I think i desperately need one, I'm hungry all the time! also, who's going to the meeting tomorrow?

singin- I have seen that thread, and I'm happy for those people but I feel so removed from it. Maybe someday I'll be there, maybe I won't, time will tell. Paige - Thank you for saying that you had trouble with it too, i really thought I was the only one. I really only see posts from people who either ate around the band and couldn't figure out what happened, or people who LOVED the band and I'm neither. I try my best to eat the right things and the smaller portions and no matter what I do the scale doesn't budge or goes up. I'm hoping a fill will at least help me take off a few pounds so I can feel the motivation again. Trying hard and seeing no result really takes the wind out of your sails. Also part of my frustration is that I have this incision that still hasn't healed properly. I've been to my pcp and been calling Jennifer who is relaying messages to Dr. Robinson and I hope he can take care of it on tuesday. I was trying so hard to not have noticeable scars but this will definitely leave one. Which woudln't be a bad trade off if I was losing weight, but seeing an open wound on my abdomen and having it drain out onto my clothes (they say I can't bandage it) is getting pretty annoying. I'm not sure about the meeting this month, I'll let you know a definite as soon as I know, but I have an appointment at 12:45 and I'm not sure I'll want to hang around until 6. I got something in the mail about Brigham and Women's having something in Patriot Place in foxboro. I think i'll ask at my appointment if they do fills there. That would be much more convenient for me!

has anyone ever felt like getting the band was a mistake? I have for 3 days anyone else felt that, even for a minute?

I can have liquor after a fill? You just turned my black and white world to color again! And on a day when it's socially acceptable to drink during the daytime! Currently I'm waiting to hear from my PCP, because I suspected one of my incisions was getting infected, and Dr. R. is also supposed to call to tell me if I have to come in and have him look at the area. I hope he says no, I can't take another day off. Well I can but I just don't want to.

I work for a state college and we also have "evacuation day" off. I have to be there for a fill, so if people are going, I'll be there.

I know it's a long way off, but is anyone planning on attending the next group meeting? If I have the dates right it should be on the 17th which is also St. Patrick's day. Just trying to make plans and if not many are going to go I might skip also. I'm getting kind of disheartened with this process at the moment. I hope everyone is doing well

I work for a college and I'm hoping they cancel also! I've had a cold for the past two days and the sneezing and coughing have really made my abdomen quite sore. On the plus side, having no appetite has made me drop some more weight, i'm almost 100lbs to goal. I know that seems so far off, but it's as close as I've been in as long as I can remember! Hope everyone stays warm and safe!

Hello, i also have Harvard Pilgrim and they approved me in a day and a half, with no obstacles. I had my initial consult in october 2008 and had surgery in february 2009 with Dr. Robinson. You may be able to go a little quicker than I did as my work schedule isn't very flexible so I couldn't take all the appointments at the earliest time they had one open. I think you will do fine!

Sorry for the lack of posting everyone, but I am exhausted. I went back to work on tuesday and boy has it taken a lot out of me. However, since no one knows that I had the band everyone has been really nice as they all think I had this really invasive surgery. the appointment the other day was fine, I was excited to learn that there was no co-pay for the first appointment after surgery. The trouble starts when I go to get weighed. I get on the scale and see the number and the nurse goes "ok you're up 2lbs. not bad." And... I'm actually down 18lbs since I last officially weighed. So I ask, "Are you sure, what was the last weight you had for me." and she repeats it back to me and I look down on the scale and it's clearly 18lbs less than what she said. So then she says. "It's not a big deal, it's difficult to lose weight especially in the winter, you'll do better next time." At this point, I'm looking for the candid camera and thinking what a mean joke this is, especially for an overweight person and then she says "Oh, I did that math wrong, I'm sorry you lost 18lbs!" and she's so apparently happy for me and I'm not liking her anymore at this point but I have to fake being happy with her anyways. So I go back into the exam room and the nurse is taking my vitals, and here's the thing... I know they try to make small talk to calm people down and to make things just run smoother, but if you haven't read up on the patient, don't discuss their surgery with them. Let's just go ahead and make that a rule. I go in and the nurse starts taking my blood pressure and making me put my finger in that that thing that tells you your pulse and oxygen percentage, and she's talking and goes "So are you excited for surgery? You're having the bypass right?" and I say, "No, I had the band put in on the 12th" To which she replies, "Oh, ok so you're here for a fill today!" and I honestly didn't know if I was, I didn't think I was, but who knows maybe if you're really overweight like I am you get a fill 10 days out. Who knows? So I'm sitting there now confused and she's preparing the room for something, (what? I don't know) and she leaves and comes back with a cup of water and says "After the fill Dr.Robinson might want you to swallow some water, if he does it's right here." And now I'm getting worried because I had had my liquids for the day and I'm not sure if you're supposed to eat before a fill or what. So Dr. Robinson comes in and says "how are you feeling?" I say "I feel ok." He nods and sits at the computer and does some data entry while I sit there and watch wondering if I should try to make small talk. I decide against it. After a long silent five minutes pass he looks over at me and says "Ok let's see the scars." He looks at them and pokes around and says "these look good, they should heal nicely as long as you don't pick at them." I don't know why he would assume my new pasttime would be picking at my surgery wounds but ok, thanks for the information. And then he tells me to make an appointment for four weeks from now and have a good day. So March 17th will be my first fill. That day was exhausting. But since i have returned to work I have found the soreness of the port area has grown exponentially. Is this normal, when you move more you get more sore? I think it's the getting in and out of the car, the up and down from my desk, and other motions I go through and forget to take it easy on that area. I don't like this mushy food diet. I'm really ready to start trying regular foods again. Did anyone not stick to the post-op diet? I don't mean that I'm going to have a 32 oz. steak or anything like that anytime soon but this diet plan they have me on now is like 8:oo a.m. have 2 oz. eggs, 10 have pudding, 12 have 2 oz. chicken for lunch.... all the way through the day I'd like some variety or something. I think I'm starting to worry that this will be the rest of my life, 2 oz of chicken for lunch every day forever. And I don't think i can handle that because I have to cook that the night before and heat it up at work and it doesn't taste that good. Hopefully I can make it through.

Had my appointment today, and i'm on mushy foods! I'd write more but I have to go have dinner, actual food, I'm so excited!

Hey everyone, I hope you're having a great weekend. Thanks for the suggestion about Ocean State Job Lot, I'll be heading there tomorrow to pick up some containers so I can carry the right size portion of food to work. I'll take a look at the scales there. Has anyone bought this book [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Eating-Well-After-Weight-Surgery/dp/1569244537/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top]Amazon.com: Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery: Over 140 Delicious Low-Fat High-Protein Recipes to Enjoy in the Weeks, Months and Years After Surgery: Patt Levine, Michele Bontmpo-Saray, William B. Inabnet, Meredith Urban-Skuros: Books[/ame] or a book like it? Did you find it helpful?

So far my hands haven't fallen off so I'm thinking I escaped the Green Line without the plague! I bought a scale yesterday (When did scales get so expensive? I just wanted one that you stand on and it tells you your weight. They have scales that tell you your body fat, how much Water percentage is in you, if your outfit is ugly and all kinds of other contraptions on there. And you pay dearly for all these extra add-ons that I didn't really want) But I am down 13lbs since surgery, so i'm happy about that. Which I think makes it 35 lbs down since I was officially weighed at my first appointment with Dr. Robinson. As for the treadmill, I won't run on them. I don't know why I'm so afraid of it, well ok I do know, I've heard fat people run on a treadmill, and I don't even want to be the cause of such noise. Maybe if I had one in my house, but not in a gym where there are other people, who I could see looking around to see from which direction that deafening sound is coming from. So I walk at a brisk pace. I'm also afraid of falling off. And since I'd be at a gym someone would probably see if I'm alright and I'd have to lie and say that I'm fine and and pretend to be Ok rather than lay on the ground in the fetal position for 30 mins and sob which is what I'd probably rather do at that point. Hope everyone is having a good day!

I'm gym ignorant. What exactly should I be doing there? I get so overwhelmed with all the machines and everyone else seems to just know exactly what to do so I would feel foolish to try this stuff through trial and error. So I basically stick to the treadmill cause... well how could you mess that up? But when it comes to weight training or anything, how do you figure out what to do? Should I just get a trainer? How much does that cost usually? Do you tip a trainer? These are the questions I have at 12:44 a.m. and thank you paige for listening about the plastic surgeon person coming to a meeting, that should be fun.

Hello Everyone, good to see you all again and meet everyone that I hadn't met before. Mel, I hope you recover very quickly! I'm a bit sore today, I take the green line from the meetings and I didn't get a seat so I had to hold onto the bar (and I didn't have purell with me, so I probably contracted some kind of hand-subway disease) and keeping myself balanced I think put a little strain on my stomach area. Nothing unmanageable, just.. noticeable. I think I might go buy a scale today, I want to cheat on this liquid thing and eat mushie food, but I think if I get a scale and see the results it will motivate me to continue on until my appointment on Monday. The nutritionist (I forget her name, something starting with an "S" sarah maybe...) said something at the end of the meeting about something in June, did anyone catch what that was?

this is how I understand the science behind the band. Before we all had the band, the food we ate would pass through our esophagus and fall into our (large) stomachs. We wouldn't feel full until we put a certain amount in it. The part of your stomach that sends a "hey we're full down here" sensation to your brain is at the top of your stomach. The band keeps the food in your stoma longer. Not for hours, sometimes only a minute or two, just long enough to trigger the stomach to send a message to the brain "hey we're full down here." So the band doesn't keep things in your stoma for long periods of time, which is why food starts passing through the band, or gets stuck, when you eat it, because the band isn't designed to hold it there, just pause it there momentarily to trigger the biological response to having a full stomach.

I am 90% sure I will be there. So far I have felt fine, but I haven't made quite the same kind of journey like it would be to get to the meeting, but I will try my best. I'm kind of sick of my house anyways. I went to the grocery store today and gazed hungrily at all the food I can't have, I don't dislike Carnation instant breakfast but I'll be excited to take a break from it for a bit when the liquids only stage is over.

I'm also feeling great, no real gas pain to speak of, a little sore if I bend the wrong way but nothing too bad.

I was also banded on the 12th, hope you're all doing well.

Hi everyone. I am back home. Actually I was back home yesterday but apparently riding in a car took a lot out of me and I spent most of the night sleeping and then waking up sore, moving myself around and then sleeping some more. The highlight of today is going to be me trying to take a shower. I think it will make me feel better though. Everything seemed to go fine, I barely used the morphine, haven't touched the liquid percocet they perscribed me (liquid tylenol seems to do fine). The hospital was ok, I liked having a private room but I seemed to be on a floor of loud people, so I kept my door closed most of the time. Dr. Robinson came to see me friday afternoon and he asked if I had any questions and at the time, i didn't. But now I have several. I don't know where my port is. I thought it went on the side, but i have two places it could be.. one is above my navel to the right and one is above my navel to the left. so they're both in the middle of my stomach. Not that I need to know where it is, but I would like to. Also, how long do I keep these bandages on before I can take them off? No gas pain for me, at least not yet anyways, hopefully it stays away, and since both my big wounds are in the middle of my stomach I can lay on my side, which is much more comfortable to sleep on. Everything seems to be going alright, but I can't seem to get enough liquid. I can usually get three carnation instant breakfasts (i'm supposed to have 5) and about 20 oz of clear liquid (i'm supposed to have 64.) Hopefully that's alright. I can't think of anything else to say but thanks for the well wishes! Hopefully I'll be able to make it to the meeting on tuesday!

ok, I went to the primary care to have an EKG and everything looked normal so she faxed over the results and gave me the all clear to have surgery, so everything is all set! I'm leaving the house at 4:45 and am scheduled for surgery at 7:30. You would have thought I would have packed by now, but of course not. So I'll get on that soon. This all seems like it took forever to get here and now that it's here I keep thinking "where did the time go?" Thank you all for your support and well wishes, I will check in when I get back home!

I'm headed to get banded tomorrow morning, good luck everyone, I'll report back when I can!

Hi Chloe, for my insurance I have a PPO (instead of an HMO) so I didn't need a referral to see a surgeon. When it came time for me to find a surgeon I had found a video online of a surgeon at Brigham doing the surgery and after I watched that I figured that this is where I wanted my surgery to be. I then called a few surgeons offices and honestly, I went with the surgeon who could see me first. I called in late october and got an appointment for mid november. So I went to the info session on October 14th and am now scheduled for a feb. 12th surgery. However there are some insurance companies that require you do a 6 month pre-op program (mine didn't require it) so that will definitely affect the timing of your surgery. My advice would be, if you're interested in Brigham and Women's or Faulkner Hospital programs to go to the information sessions, I got a lot of my questions answered there.