Queen ApisM

Prior to surgery I was working with a trainer 2x a week for many years. We did a combo of strength training (sometimes with heavy weights), balance, cardio, flexibility.
At 2 weeks out, I could not have handled hard workouts. I did start walking more and focused on that for my exercise for the first two months, until I could get up to 800-1000 calories consistently. My program wanted us to be active as soon as possible, but did not want us doing hard workouts if we were not getting at minimum, 800 cals, and ideally more than that. In fact, I’m now 9/10 months out and that calorie expectation is more like 1500 cals on workout days (a bit less, like 1300, is ok on non-workout days).
Having said that, I think going hard at 2 weeks post op is unwise. You are still healing inside for quite a while still. You aren’t taking in many calories and it is incredibly hard to do so even if you want to. Maybe focus on easy movement, like walking more, for a while longer. Once your cals increase and you are further into recovery, you can expand your horizons with exercise. For me, that was around 2 months. I scaled back what I’d been doing previously (mostly using slightly lighter weights and we were careful with the ab work for a while) but I quickly was back to where I was.
Personally, I’m not just exercising for weight loss. It’s to strengthen my heart, keep my muscles in good shape, strengthen my bones, release stress and tension. I absolutely would never wait to get to or close to goal to start exercising. There are so many important things that come from exercise that have nothing at all to do with weight loss.

Prior to surgery I was working with a trainer 2x a week for many years. We did a combo of strength training (sometimes with heavy weights), balance, cardio, flexibility.
At 2 weeks out, I could not have handled hard workouts. I did start walking more and focused on that for my exercise for the first two months, until I could get up to 800-1000 calories consistently. My program wanted us to be active as soon as possible, but did not want us doing hard workouts if we were not getting at minimum, 800 cals, and ideally more than that. In fact, I’m now 9/10 months out and that calorie expectation is more like 1500 cals on workout days (a bit less, like 1300, is ok on non-workout days).
Having said that, I think going hard at 2 weeks post op is unwise. You are still healing inside for quite a while still. You aren’t taking in many calories and it is incredibly hard to do so even if you want to. Maybe focus on easy movement, like walking more, for a while longer. Once your cals increase and you are further into recovery, you can expand your horizons with exercise. For me, that was around 2 months. I scaled back what I’d been doing previously (mostly using slightly lighter weights and we were careful with the ab work for a while) but I quickly was back to where I was.
Personally, I’m not just exercising for weight loss. It’s to strengthen my heart, keep my muscles in good shape, strengthen my bones, release stress and tension. I absolutely would never wait to get to or close to goal to start exercising. There are so many important things that come from exercise that have nothing at all to do with weight loss.

There is a lot of advice re: the scale and weight issue. Talk to your center and see what they have to say/think.
I'm going to focus on something else: I weighed your starting weight at my wedding, and I looked flipping amazing. It was my wedding. I was marrying the man I love and who loves me. All my family and friends were there and they were all happy for me. I look at pictures from then, and somehow, I do not complain that I looked fat, even though I certainly was still obese. I normally hate most pictures of myself, but I don't feel that way about my wedding because all I can is the happiness from the day and just revel in the happy memories. I am so excited just to get BACK to my wedding weight, much less lower than that.
I say this not to center attention on me, or make you feel bad, but to make the point that you shouldn't fixate on a certain number to make you beautiful or worthy for your wedding. You will have a beautiful day. Clearly, someone loves you and wants to marry you at your original weight, much less at your current one or some future one. Perhaps focus on that, because stressing over a number before your wedding isn't going to increase the likelihood of hitting that goal. In fact, quite the opposite.

I weigh myself most mornings, nekkid, after peeing. Usually first thing after I get up. When I hit a rough stall, I won't do it every single day. I assess whether it is doing more harm than good and decide accordingly. But, I only "count" the weight that is on the anniversary of my surgery. I track all the weights in Baritastic, but the official weight in my weekly spreadsheet is Monday's weight (or Tuesday if I am out of town that weekend).
Every day is not for everyone, but I find it helps keep me on target. And, back in the olden days when I didn't weigh daily I would go off the deep end and then gain 10 lbs or whatever it would be. I'm not concerned about doing that now, but I'm trying to prepare myself for the long term and what I know helps keep me honest.
It's a very personal decision, since we are all wired differently.

My stats aren't quite the same as yours, but when I had surgery, I was 375. I think my BMI was 60 at surgery. I had hypertension (well controlled with meds), insulin resistance, dilated cardiomyopathy (with reduced ejection fraction), and who knows what else. They all assumed I had sleep apnea too, even though I didn't have indicators for it. I'm not sure how high risk I would be considered, but I have no illusions that I was low risk in any way.
I was terrified of complications, and made sure to have a will and advanced directive in place just in case. As self pay, I was even more terrified that complications would bankrupt us. I needed a super low dose of Xanax the night before surgery I was so scared. But, I knew that staying at my weight, with my issues, was absolutely a death sentence, so for me, the risks were worth taking. Even at elevated risk, the risks of staying this heavy were much higher.
I agree with @Splenda - follow the surgeon's recommendations to the letter. Those blood thinner injections suck (not gonna lie, I had to do them for 14 days post surgery) but they are literal life savers, and us heavier folk are at greater risk. Between now and surgery, keep doing what you can to ensure you are as healthy as possible. Eat well, if you are on any meds, take them religiously, whatever it takes to get you in a good place physically and mentally.
So far, this surgery has been amazing. I feel fabulous and for once, I have hope of meeting my goals, or at least getting damned close. Good luck!

I'm about 7 months out and I feel like this still happens on the regular. I just have learned that it is okay to leave food behind (a hard lesson when you were always told to clean your plate) and it's ok if I can eat more one day, and less another.
The gremlin (my stomach) is always the final decision maker in these matters!

I drank a lot of Bone Broth - it is another way to get in Protein in liquid form, and I loved it during liquid stage and throughout all the early stages. It has more protein (9-10g) per cup than typical broth. There are many different brands out there, some flavored. My tummy liked warm liquids best, so it went down a lot easier than other protein items.

I was extremely anxious before surgery, so the anesthesiologist (at my consult) suggested a Xanax the night before. I never had taken it before, so the surgeon's office prescribed a miniscule amount. It helped so much, even the next morning and I was cognitively fine.
Does your physician's office have a PA or someone similar you can talk to and explain this that this is a regular prescription used to control anxiety? Perhaps they can run the trap lines with your surgeon and/or check with anesthesia. Obviously don't take anything without their ok, but it's not good going into surgery with high anxiety, either.

If it makes you feel any better, I am currently in a 4 week stall. I'm staying in the right calorie range (that has worked for me and my program espouses), am exercising, and basically doing everything right but I have been just hanging out in the same 2 lbs range the whole time, just shy of my 100 lb loss milestone. So. Frustrating. Just hang in there and keep doing what you know is right and has been successful. Maybe change something up to see if shocks your system a bit, but don't go overboard. This is all a complete head game.
Your body will do what it wants... when it wants. I've found looking at other success measures (measurements, non-scale victories) can really help me get through these times. I feel your pain and totally empathize.

My gremlin is very talkative. Last night, it was very vocal during my evening tea drinking. It was worse immediately post surgery but definitely still noisy 8-9 months out. This is the new normal!

Agree with this. I started the shakes once I got home. I did find pouring into 1 oz cups made it easier. It also took forever to finish each one.

My stats aren't quite the same as yours, but when I had surgery, I was 375. I think my BMI was 60 at surgery. I had hypertension (well controlled with meds), insulin resistance, dilated cardiomyopathy (with reduced ejection fraction), and who knows what else. They all assumed I had sleep apnea too, even though I didn't have indicators for it. I'm not sure how high risk I would be considered, but I have no illusions that I was low risk in any way.
I was terrified of complications, and made sure to have a will and advanced directive in place just in case. As self pay, I was even more terrified that complications would bankrupt us. I needed a super low dose of Xanax the night before surgery I was so scared. But, I knew that staying at my weight, with my issues, was absolutely a death sentence, so for me, the risks were worth taking. Even at elevated risk, the risks of staying this heavy were much higher.
I agree with @Splenda - follow the surgeon's recommendations to the letter. Those blood thinner injections suck (not gonna lie, I had to do them for 14 days post surgery) but they are literal life savers, and us heavier folk are at greater risk. Between now and surgery, keep doing what you can to ensure you are as healthy as possible. Eat well, if you are on any meds, take them religiously, whatever it takes to get you in a good place physically and mentally.
So far, this surgery has been amazing. I feel fabulous and for once, I have hope of meeting my goals, or at least getting damned close. Good luck!

Ugh, I'm in one right now. Going on 4 weeks. It's the longest and most annoying one so far, and happened at about 8 months from surgery. I had a couple week one back in November and a few much shorter ones in between. However, I can say that while the weight is stalled this time around, I've lost inches. I'm telling myself this will pass, and maybe my body is taking time to settle in before we tackle the next 10-15 lbs. I'm just continuing to do what I have been doing, and trying not to get obsessed with it.

As soon as I could walk in the hospital, I did. It was baby steps while using my IV stand as a cane, but I did. And the nurses were very complimentary because they usually had to prod patients to do it. And I did my blood thinner injections.
If you do what you outlined -- keep losing weight, walk as soon and as much as you can, take the blood thinning injections -- you will have given yourself a great chance to avoid any complications.
And as a guy who knows what it feels like to be that big... post-surgery life is pretty amazing. I've never had this level of energy. It's great to go on a 3 mile walk and not have my knees throb and ache after. I've posted this before: weight loss surgery is a bet on yourself. It's a bet that you have more willpower and discipline than your physique currently reflects and that if you were truly given a second chance, you would succeed. Like any bet, it carries risks. But are you willing to take that bet.

I might get a second opinion. Other people might not see you as such a high risk, and you might be more comfortable with one of those surgeons. But, the more weight you lose before surgery, the lower risk you'll be - with any surgeon. But I agree with what everyone else here says. If you go forward, follow the instructions both pre- and post-op closely. And being at the weight you are now makes everything more risky - for example, say you were in a car accident, you'd be much more at risk of serious complications due to your weight (and fat bias in health care just makes that worse!). And, the other sorts of conditions that make you high risk for surgery might be just around the corner if you keep at your current weight.
It's not really feasible to lose all of the weight you need without surgery, but you could see if you could get to like 350 before surgery, and get your BP controlled.

My stats aren't quite the same as yours, but when I had surgery, I was 375. I think my BMI was 60 at surgery. I had hypertension (well controlled with meds), insulin resistance, dilated cardiomyopathy (with reduced ejection fraction), and who knows what else. They all assumed I had sleep apnea too, even though I didn't have indicators for it. I'm not sure how high risk I would be considered, but I have no illusions that I was low risk in any way.
I was terrified of complications, and made sure to have a will and advanced directive in place just in case. As self pay, I was even more terrified that complications would bankrupt us. I needed a super low dose of Xanax the night before surgery I was so scared. But, I knew that staying at my weight, with my issues, was absolutely a death sentence, so for me, the risks were worth taking. Even at elevated risk, the risks of staying this heavy were much higher.
I agree with @Splenda - follow the surgeon's recommendations to the letter. Those blood thinner injections suck (not gonna lie, I had to do them for 14 days post surgery) but they are literal life savers, and us heavier folk are at greater risk. Between now and surgery, keep doing what you can to ensure you are as healthy as possible. Eat well, if you are on any meds, take them religiously, whatever it takes to get you in a good place physically and mentally.
So far, this surgery has been amazing. I feel fabulous and for once, I have hope of meeting my goals, or at least getting damned close. Good luck!

I suspect that your surgeon was using some form of trying to scare you straight. But lets also be honest, those risk factors are the exact reasons you were approved for surgery! A successful weight loss surgery will see your BMI go down, and your sleep apnea and blood pressure would be reduced. It's a bit like telling someone, "I am about to do surgery on your heart to repair a defect, but the defect makes the surgery risky." Thanks, Dr. Sherlock.
I would try to schedule a follow up visit and pin him down on the risks he foresees -- you understand that you have risk factors, but how would those risk factors play out in practice? Does he think you are going to bleed out on the table? Does he think you are going to have a stroke? Right now, your mind is imagining all of the terrible things that could happen -- make him get specific. And if he talks about something specific, like the risk of stroke, then ask him, "What can I do, both before and after the surgery, that would meaningfully reduce that risk?"
If he was just trying to get you to see that the surgery isn't risk-free and won't be all rainbows and sunshine during the recovery, then feel free to realize that your doctor is an arrogant, but well-meaning, jerk, and not let him keep you from the surgery.

My stats aren't quite the same as yours, but when I had surgery, I was 375. I think my BMI was 60 at surgery. I had hypertension (well controlled with meds), insulin resistance, dilated cardiomyopathy (with reduced ejection fraction), and who knows what else. They all assumed I had sleep apnea too, even though I didn't have indicators for it. I'm not sure how high risk I would be considered, but I have no illusions that I was low risk in any way.
I was terrified of complications, and made sure to have a will and advanced directive in place just in case. As self pay, I was even more terrified that complications would bankrupt us. I needed a super low dose of Xanax the night before surgery I was so scared. But, I knew that staying at my weight, with my issues, was absolutely a death sentence, so for me, the risks were worth taking. Even at elevated risk, the risks of staying this heavy were much higher.
I agree with @Splenda - follow the surgeon's recommendations to the letter. Those blood thinner injections suck (not gonna lie, I had to do them for 14 days post surgery) but they are literal life savers, and us heavier folk are at greater risk. Between now and surgery, keep doing what you can to ensure you are as healthy as possible. Eat well, if you are on any meds, take them religiously, whatever it takes to get you in a good place physically and mentally.
So far, this surgery has been amazing. I feel fabulous and for once, I have hope of meeting my goals, or at least getting damned close. Good luck!

Also, I meant to also say - does your practice have a nutritionist? If so, you may want to ask them about additional guidance. They can be really helpful in figuring out if you are on track for calories, etc. Initially (the first couple of months) my practice did not give calorie goals, but in my nutrition check ins, we did touch base on how many calories I was eating. That was really helpful, especially since I was undereating relative to what they wanted.
I wouldn't overthink this. If you go back in 3 months and you aren't where you "should" be, you won't get demerits. 🙂 Your body will do what it wants, when it wants. Stalls and slow downs are normal and to be expected in this process. It is very easy to make yourself nuts overthinking and stressing about whether you are hitting all the milestones and expectations. In the end, does it matter if you get to the destination? Probably not.
(I say all this while in the middle of a frustrating 4 week stall. It's hard to do, but try not to stress, it doesn't help!)
Good luck.

Also, I meant to also say - does your practice have a nutritionist? If so, you may want to ask them about additional guidance. They can be really helpful in figuring out if you are on track for calories, etc. Initially (the first couple of months) my practice did not give calorie goals, but in my nutrition check ins, we did touch base on how many calories I was eating. That was really helpful, especially since I was undereating relative to what they wanted.
I wouldn't overthink this. If you go back in 3 months and you aren't where you "should" be, you won't get demerits. 🙂 Your body will do what it wants, when it wants. Stalls and slow downs are normal and to be expected in this process. It is very easy to make yourself nuts overthinking and stressing about whether you are hitting all the milestones and expectations. In the end, does it matter if you get to the destination? Probably not.
(I say all this while in the middle of a frustrating 4 week stall. It's hard to do, but try not to stress, it doesn't help!)
Good luck.

28 lbs in 6 weeks is more than 4 lbs a week. That's nothing to be upset about. Weight loss is fast initially, partly because you tend to lose a lot of Water weight and you are do restricted initially as you recover from surgery. It will probably slow down as the months pass, but again, this isn't a race. If you get to 6 months and you haven't lost "most of the weight" it's not as if there is a magic switch that is flipped and you stop losing weight. Many people lose weight steadily for 18 months and beyond, though it slows down as you get closer to your goal weight.
Excess weight is what you started at minus what you should be at, and most use the BMI as the guide for that. So, if you are 5 ft 1 inch, your healthy range is 98-132 lbs. Excess weight should be 238 (start weight at surgery) minus 132 (top of healthy range). So, your excess weight would around 106 lbs. I think the literature I read suggested the average lost in the first 6 months is around 30-40% of your excess weight, which would be 106 lb x 30% = 31.8 lbs, but I am not sure how accurate that percentage is.
Again, these are rough numbers and the averages are just that - averages. Many people do better than this in 6 months. Some do worse. Some people lose "slowly" throughout and get to goal and beyond, while some people might lose fast initially and then not get to goal. Basically, no one can predict how it will go, including the surgeons.

Also, I meant to also say - does your practice have a nutritionist? If so, you may want to ask them about additional guidance. They can be really helpful in figuring out if you are on track for calories, etc. Initially (the first couple of months) my practice did not give calorie goals, but in my nutrition check ins, we did touch base on how many calories I was eating. That was really helpful, especially since I was undereating relative to what they wanted.
I wouldn't overthink this. If you go back in 3 months and you aren't where you "should" be, you won't get demerits. 🙂 Your body will do what it wants, when it wants. Stalls and slow downs are normal and to be expected in this process. It is very easy to make yourself nuts overthinking and stressing about whether you are hitting all the milestones and expectations. In the end, does it matter if you get to the destination? Probably not.
(I say all this while in the middle of a frustrating 4 week stall. It's hard to do, but try not to stress, it doesn't help!)
Good luck.

Also, I meant to also say - does your practice have a nutritionist? If so, you may want to ask them about additional guidance. They can be really helpful in figuring out if you are on track for calories, etc. Initially (the first couple of months) my practice did not give calorie goals, but in my nutrition check ins, we did touch base on how many calories I was eating. That was really helpful, especially since I was undereating relative to what they wanted.
I wouldn't overthink this. If you go back in 3 months and you aren't where you "should" be, you won't get demerits. 🙂 Your body will do what it wants, when it wants. Stalls and slow downs are normal and to be expected in this process. It is very easy to make yourself nuts overthinking and stressing about whether you are hitting all the milestones and expectations. In the end, does it matter if you get to the destination? Probably not.
(I say all this while in the middle of a frustrating 4 week stall. It's hard to do, but try not to stress, it doesn't help!)
Good luck.

My gremlin is very talkative. Last night, it was very vocal during my evening tea drinking. It was worse immediately post surgery but definitely still noisy 8-9 months out. This is the new normal!

I had a company event not long after my surgery. I just told them I had food restrictions post operation. I didn't tell anyone what kind of surgery it was, but there were no questions and everyone was cool about it. It depends on how much they know, I guess. Everyone on my team knew I was out for surgery, though I never got into specifics. When asked, I just said gastrointestinal - a true statement, but also vague enough it could be anything as far as they knew, and that I had restrictions during the healing process. These were all pretty new colleagues and none were personal friends, so maybe they would have asked more questions if they were close friends.
Edited to add: You can always fake eating, if even saying the above is difficult. Put things on your plate, move them around. If there is anything you can eat, eat that and just play with the rest. Get a glass of wine and just never drink it.... that sort of thing.