AM_is_losing

I told my Manager/coworkers and close family. My step-mother on the other hand has told literally everyone she knows whether they know me or not lol as has my mother. I don't really mind it's not something I am ashamed of, actually I am proud of myself for making the decision and working towards it. I actually just returned to work and a lot of my customers have been asking where I have been, I just tell them I had a surgery but everything is fine now. The reason I do this is mostly because it would just bring on more questions and I don't have the time to talk for 20 minutes with one customer about my personal life. My coworkers have been super supportive and sweet.

Sorry for my grumpy post. I have no valid excuse just a very bad day etc. I’ll leave it so I can remind myself of how I can act if I don’t think and instead react. I apologize futureselyph, your points are valid.

How kind of you to say so! I felt bad that you seemed to take my post in a way that I didn't intend. Apology accepted and returned, since I must have written it poorly to have it misconstrued. I hope your day improves. Peace.

Civility on the Internet? Oh my gosh, I need to go buy a lottery ticket. (Seriously, kudos to you both.)

Nope, not your fault at all :) I reread it and understand what you’re saying, and even agree. Sorries all come from this side of the interwebs. I try to be a positive person all the time but the reality is I’m not, and it skips out sometimes. But…… to put the past behind us now… I do agree that “not interested in discussing my private affairs” is a good response too. It’s not for me. The one thing about lying that really bothers me…. My wife’s brother is large. It’s her side she wishes not know and so I stuck to the half truth of “protein shakes and exercise” and where the pain comes in is when he confides in me that he’s trying but just can’t stick to it long enough to make a difference. That was me until I had surgery so I know what he’s feeling and I feel like my half truth (lie by omission) is hurting him. I don’t want to break my promise to my wife, that comes first. But it was that feeling of putting this man in a position of feeling like he failed (again) when I didn’t (because my stomach was removed) is what really made me want to be open with strangers who happen to ask (and that’s a rare occasion since they don’t know what I looked like unless they see my id. It felt GOOD to give them hope and it felt better for me to be able to give that to them.

I have shared the fact that I had surgery with anyone and everyone. I'm just an open book and also a bit of an oversharer. At 50, I also don't care what anyone thinks anymore. If people ask how, especially if they are overweight, I am glad to share in case it will be helpful to them.
But this is just the way I am. I've never been very good at keeping things to myself. It's funny, because I'm great at keeping secrets people tell me, but I don't hide a lot about myself. I don't expect others to be like me and understand why some people don't want to let anyone know they had surgery. No one is obligated to share with strangers or acquaintances, and I feel like it's deeply personal for everyone to decide what they are comfortable with.
You just have to decide what feels right to you.

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First…. I 100% support YOUR decision to tell people about your surgery or not. I am in no way saying you should or should not….
I recently went on a trip and on this trip I had to show my old ID a few times. When I applied to TSA PreCheck I got a triple take when they looked at my passport photo vs the new me… so I explained… then on the trip I just decided to preemptively say “yeah I’ve lost a lot of weight since then” when they looked at my ID. Twice I had the person (quietly) ask “mind if I ask how? It’s none of my business I’m just wondering.” Both times I told them the truth, both times they said they’ve been thinking about it. Both times they smiled when I told them how stupidly amazing I feel and how I wish I had done this sooner. Both times we held up the line entirely too long while they and I both opened up about our weight issues and weight wishes. They were great moments and they wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t open up to them.
My wife does not want me to share my story with her side of the family and I’ve respected her wishes in that regard. I don’t personally care if they know but she has her reasons and that’s good enough for me. I totally understand that someone you know and will see repeatedly is an entirely different story….
But a stranger I’ll never see again? Someone who is like I was and clearly is looking for help? I’ll never lie to them. They deserve to know that traditional diets are damn hard if not impossible for most of us. I feel like it would make them feel worse about their own diet failures and their self esteem if I lied about how I did what I did. I’ll share my story with anyone going forward with joy, because I’m so happy about it and I want them to feel this way too. I gave both of those people info on this forum and my username. If you’re here reading this now, welcome. I’m glad you made the effort. Please don’t feel the need to introduce yourself just yet. Read, absorb, self reflect. But welcome nonetheless. I’m happy that you’re here.

OMG, you poor thing, sounds like you dealt with it like a champ though.

OMG y'all, DO NOT TRUST A fart. First, I'm 8 days post sleeve surgery and haven't had a proper bowel movement. So, I'm at the DMV with my husband so he can get his truck registered, and I'm sitting in the BRAND NEW truck with our 5 y/o while my husband is inside. Surprise! I have to fart, so I do, only IT'S NOT A FART! I literally **** my pants while sitting in our brand new truck. So I text my husband, "I just **** my pants, I need to come into the bathroom." He says come on in, so I grab the 5 y/o after much complaining about not wanting to leave the car, and go running into the DMV bathroom. I run in, to my relief, it's a 1-only with a lockable door, I look at the toilet and SOMEONE HAS ALREADY CLOGGED THE TOILET! There are no paper towels, 'cause covid, I threw my underwear away and cleaned my shorts as best I could with toilet paper and then ran out the DMV, jumped back in the truck and sent a text to my husband that I was off to find a bathroom - he texts back hurry! I'm number 23 and they're on 21! (Because they needed to check the VIN on the truck) By the grace of God I found a public bathroom down the street. So there I sat, amongst the hypodermic needles, a pile of someone's clothes and somebody else's thrown out deodorant. Fortunately nobody else was in there. I made it back to the DMV just as my husband came walking out with the new tags. And now I'm traumatized...(and so's my husband, lol!)
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Ugh. I’m sorry @AM_is_losing. You got about same notice as me when mine was canceled. My surgery ended up being 4 weeks after the originally scheduled date.

Yes you're right this sucks big time. My surgery was originally scheduled for March 2020 And I live in a great state of stupidville California where somebody hiccups and they shut the whole state down. Anyway I had to wait a year for my surgery date ultimately ended up being 3-18-21. A year after my original schedule date and one month exactly after my mother died of covid. That encouraged me big time because my mom's weight was so high they couldn't turn her over. Her suffering was so bad before we lost her. So I understand about the need for covid shutdowns and I understand the devastation of having this necessary surgery postponed. But everyone here is right saying stick to your guns and to the tools that you've learned. You can take off some additional weight before your surgery. Be even healthier for it, and your outcome can be good and you'll heal really well and fast. Time goes by no matter what we do. So let's make the best of the time that we have.

Happened to me last year too. Scheduled for 3/18/20 and was pushed to 5/18/20, and this was after 9 months of prep work!
I agree with the post above. Don't go crazy on eating. Anything you lose between now and surgery day will pay dividends in the long run (I lost 24 more lbs in my 2 month delay). Keep the faith and your day will come soon enough.

Yes this happened to me as well. I was originally scheduled for December 2020 and it got postponed. Got the call on January 25th to reschedule for 2/23. DON"T DO LIKE I DID AND GO CRAZY EATING!! This would be a good time to get used to eating less. Good luck...it will pass by quickly.

I literally posted about this a couple weeks ago. I was worried that with surging covid cases, they would shut down the elective surgeries again. My surgery was scheduled for tomorrow. This morning about 10 am, the nurses called me to give me instructions for pre-surgery. Then they called me at noon to tell me they were canceling me.

The worst part is that my husband lost his job, and I’m losing my insurance. This isn’t going to happen for me. I’m devastated. I’ve been crying since they told me. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do now. I’ve been on liquids for a week. I just feel like.... I have jumped through every one of the hoops for this insurance. I waited months the first time the hospitals were shut down. Finally got a consult. Finally got a date. Made it to THE DAY BEFORE.... I just don’t even know.

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with that, it sounds like a stressful situation. Not sure what your hospital's policy is, but mine needed someone to be physically there to release me, so Uber would've been a no-go. You could arrange for medical transport (some kind of paid service), or might have to go the friend route. Good luck. ❤️

1. Who moved my car seat back? Oh, nobody. My butt is smaller and I'm sitting further back.
2. What? Do gold necklaces stretch? Oh, no. My neck just got smaller and now the chain looks longer.
3. Painting my own toenails.
4. Fitting in most any chair.
5. Not worrying about getting stuck in chairs with arms.
6. Not worrying about a chair breaking (mostly outdoor chairs). Been there, done that.

Crossing my legs!

Having the doctor say "You're overweight" out of habit and being able to say "No I'm not." 😂

I no longer have to wear wide shoes or plus size clothes.

@Betty1971 and being able to tie my shoes without having to hold my breath!

Here are just a couple of the silly things that have made me smile the last couple weeks:
1. I can buy cute underwear that are not made out of white flour sack material.
2. I can put on my socks in the morning with out making strange sounds and grunting.
3. When getting dressed to go somewhere the first thing out of my mouth is NOT "does this make me look fat!"

Wearing shorts without chaffing... much 😁. I cant wait not to chafe at all!!!

Wiping my own butt without breaking my back trying to reach 🤦🏼‍♀️

Idk about weird but it was surprising when the towel fit around me again without a gap.

Today I had an unexpected and surprisingly satisfying NSV. I noticed that my belly button shrank. It's about 50% shallower than it used to be! Who knew I would be so pleased about less depth to my belly button? 😆