Roses436

Hi - I've started the process of VSG, got my consult, letter of medical necessity, insurance etc... but I have one burning question....

How do people cope? I assume most of us (overweight) got here by over eating for fun / comfort etc. I am a big family eater/drinker - i.e. love hanging with family and shooting the ... for hours while grazing and enjoying wine - the fear of that disappearing scares me to death. I know I can't be the only one - so I'm curious about other peoples experience and regrets if there were any.

I'm currently 290, highest weight was 330, lowest was 178.6 about 8 years ago after losing weight on slimming world on my own. I feel like it's pathetic that I can't just do that again - I also never felt 'hard done by' when I lost the weight before, but I was still able to (over)indulge at holidays etc.

Clearly the before approach didn't work and I've been morbidly obese my entire life, but I'd love some feedback from the veterans here about coping with that loss, having the sense to see past current eating joy and realize that joy that comes with the ability to be active, not self conscious about weight etc...

Any help / advice is greatly appreciated!

Brian.

I hope I won’t be judged harshly here, but I really would appreciate feedback from this group. Several years back I decided against Lasik on my eyes after researching and reading horror stories and regrets people had after their surgeries. Wearing glasses for the rest of my life is not that big of a deal to me but carrying 150+ pounds of excess weight and facing future health risks is. And I want to feel energetic again and do something more with my life than be a couch potato. So maybe I shouldn’t have started reading stories from people who have experienced major issues after getting weight loss surgery. I know the percentage of people with regrets is small, my surgeon is experienced and I came through gall bladder surgery two years ago with flying colors. I’m taking the risk and doing this, but did anyone else pause for a moment pre-surgery and ponder the “what if’s”?

My GP believes all it takes is sheer willpower -as in “Just start eating healthy and exercising”. Looks like I’ll need to find a more supportive doctor. As for red meat, the woman giving her testimony at the info meeting said she had a lot of trouble digesting it and it seemed to stay in her stomach for a long time.
I’m so glad to read all the positive comments and honest answers. Thank-you.

My GP believes all it takes is sheer willpower -as in “Just start eating healthy and exercising”. Looks like I’ll need to find a more supportive doctor. As for red meat, the woman giving her testimony at the info meeting said she had a lot of trouble digesting it and it seemed to stay in her stomach for a long time.
I’m so glad to read all the positive comments and honest answers. Thank-you.

I wake up in the morning and food is the first thing I think about. I get up at least three times in the night, open the refrigerator, and graze. I can go months successfully fighting the food addiction and then something sets me off and I slowly sink into the abyss again. I’m only telling my husband about my decision to have surgery because no one has the right to argue against my decision. And honestly, it is not their place to judge. All of your comments are validation that I’m making the right choice. I still can’t wrap my head around the mental changes that occur with the surgery, but I can believe it based on all your comments.

I wake up in the morning and food is the first thing I think about. I get up at least three times in the night, open the refrigerator, and graze. I can go months successfully fighting the food addiction and then something sets me off and I slowly sink into the abyss again. I’m only telling my husband about my decision to have surgery because no one has the right to argue against my decision. And honestly, it is not their place to judge. All of your comments are validation that I’m making the right choice. I still can’t wrap my head around the mental changes that occur with the surgery, but I can believe it based on all your comments.

I read all of those horror stories as well, but keep in mind that those kinds of things don't happen very often. The majority of us sail through just fine with no issues.
I think most of us probably had the same thoughts at one time or another - all the "what ifs" and the fears of having some horrible complication. I finally had to stop myself from reading about them. It's good to know that it's a possibility - but you also have to put it in perspective. It's pretty uncommon. I figured I was at a much greater risk being 200 lbs overweight than I was having the surgery. Having some major complication from bariatric surgery could certainly happen, but the risk is pretty small. On the other hand, having a heart attack, developing diabetes, or dying 20 years prematurely was a pretty decent-sized risk (if not a sure thing) if I stayed super morbidly obese.
but of course - you know all this. You said so in your post. Just wanted you to know that yes - I had those thoughts as well. I bet most of us did.

I went back and forth till the very last day wondering if what I was about to do to my body was too extreme and was afraid of complications. I am so glad that I did it. Zero regrets. Except the most common one that I didn’t do it sooner.

I had 6 plus months of prep before my surgery so I had a long time to ponder the what if’s! Honestly, it came down to the fact that I felt like I no longer had control of my ability to lose weight and I had to take this step, and it’s a very scary one at that. My biggest suggestions are to research your surgeon and facilities, and also prepare yourself as much as possible with the education aspects outside of what the Bariatric program gives you. In a nurse by trade so I know many of the medical components and complications of surgery in general, but I needed to research more on bariatrics. The risks with VSG are very low. If you have major health issues obviously the % will rise for complications. I am 100% happy that I went through with my surgery although I am only 6 weeks out and did not have any major complications.

I hope I won’t be judged harshly here, but I really would appreciate feedback from this group. Several years back I decided against Lasik on my eyes after researching and reading horror stories and regrets people had after their surgeries. Wearing glasses for the rest of my life is not that big of a deal to me but carrying 150+ pounds of excess weight and facing future health risks is. And I want to feel energetic again and do something more with my life than be a couch potato. So maybe I shouldn’t have started reading stories from people who have experienced major issues after getting weight loss surgery. I know the percentage of people with regrets is small, my surgeon is experienced and I came through gall bladder surgery two years ago with flying colors. I’m taking the risk and doing this, but did anyone else pause for a moment pre-surgery and ponder the “what if’s”?

Your health care professionals work for you. Replacing any doctor is your decision. However, you must be willing to do the work needed to find a replacement in a timely manner; and, to evaluate exactly why you believe this relationship is not in your best interest.
Do you have someone reliable who you can talk this through with? Someone who cares enough to tell you if You are the problem? Is there someone willing to accompany you and act as your advocate in dealing with the medical staff? Can someone assist you in communicating your needs and responding to the reply?
Should all indications conclude that you are not getting the care you need FIRE YOUR DOCTOR. "This is not done" is no reason to jeopardize you health. Get copies of your medical records from the doctor's office and the hospital.
Replacing your follow up care professionals may not be easy but it can be done. Understanding exactly what is wrong with this relationship will help you to find a good fit for the future.

I agree with everyone who says you will need to work with a therapist. Otherwise, you will just gain the weight back after surgery. The surgery doesn't fix your mind. There are therapists who specialized in binge eating disorder and other eating issues. Now with online therapy, it's easier than ever to find a therapist and get therapy. I don't think that serious eating issues can be tackled with self-help books, especially if depression is compounding the issue. If you are seeing a therapist for depression, they may be able to recommend a specialist in eating issues. If nothing else, make sure your depression is being adequately treated with medications that don't exacerbate your eating issues.

I would definitely agree with the other posts - you need to see a therapist to work through the emotional/mental part of your eating habits. Otherwise your surgery will not be as successful. It is only a tool. A good program should have this as a requirement as well, mine required a letter from a therapist. I know it is hard, I have been working with one for almost a year and just now feel like I’m making progress. It goes so much deeper than just liking food, at least for me. It is so hard and definitely the biggest hurdle. But I believe you can do it!! And hopefully make the permanent change you need in your life, best of luck

unfortunately, the surgery doesn't fix our brains 😞 If you're having major eating issues, like it sounds like you are, you might want to line up a therapist who specializes in eating disorders (or at least has worked with them a lot). Honestly, a lot of WLS patients have done this and have benefited from it.
in the end, the surgery controls to a large extent what we can eat in one sitting. If you're snacking all day, you'll end up eating around the surgery. You don't want to do that...

I have been diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder. I started to see a therapist for this and my relationship with food has drastically changed. I am currently working on emotional eating as I seem to eat foods that are not as good for me at night. Seeing the therapist is what has helped me the most as it helps to relieve the stressors that I have. Good luck on this journey and there are books out there about intuitive eating. I have heard that a lot of people have used these books to help as well.

I can’t remember the last time I wore a dress, skirt or anything without an elastic waist. You all look stupendous. What a thrill it must be and I can’t wait to get there. Congratulations on all your successes.

Did you choose sleeve vs bypass and then get physician approval? Or does the doctor pretty much decide what is best for you? Does it ever happen that you have one surgery and later wish you would have had the other? And if so, why?

I can’t remember the last time I wore a dress, skirt or anything without an elastic waist. You all look stupendous. What a thrill it must be and I can’t wait to get there. Congratulations on all your successes.

I can’t remember the last time I wore a dress, skirt or anything without an elastic waist. You all look stupendous. What a thrill it must be and I can’t wait to get there. Congratulations on all your successes.

I wake up in the morning and food is the first thing I think about. I get up at least three times in the night, open the refrigerator, and graze. I can go months successfully fighting the food addiction and then something sets me off and I slowly sink into the abyss again. I’m only telling my husband about my decision to have surgery because no one has the right to argue against my decision. And honestly, it is not their place to judge. All of your comments are validation that I’m making the right choice. I still can’t wrap my head around the mental changes that occur with the surgery, but I can believe it based on all your comments.