Bruno,
You are very sensitive and eloquent in your writing even with English not being your first language. Our world needs more writers and artists like you. You are very important to the future of our world and to your family. I believe you feel so many things, or did before depression came like a loud thunderstorm. Maybe food was your previous creative outlet? Maybe it was how you expressed yourself in the past and feel blocked now?
Please, please, please get help right now. Call your doctor’s emergency number and meet him/her at the hospital. Tell them you don’t feel safe. Get the therapy immediately because you are saying you will harm yourself with a lack of food and water. Let the hospital help you get your electrolytes and proteins back in order to physically feel better. I love your writing. Please keep writing. Love, Meg