My surgery has been delayed many times due to a hiatal hernia, asthma attacks, GERD, and a questionable Barrett’s esophagus. I had to refocus my attention on my feelings to say weight loss is a goal. It’s a long term goal like achieving my bachelors degree and master’s degree. It’s a long term process that has nothing to do with my worthiness but how much effort I put forth, AND my perseverance.
Sometimes I journal my disappointment, distract myself with tictock videos, do a short term task that has immediate results like cleaning. I picture each moment as a small pearl slowly sliding onto a necklace. I get scared thinking about the absolutely giant necklace of healthy living for a lifetime, so instead I try to concentrate on one pearl of living healthy in this moment. I distract myself enough living in the moment, then look back and become proud of the pearl necklace I have built so far. It’s ok to feel all the feelings. Just sit with them, let them become a pearl moment. Yeah, therapy is awesome :)