DoodlesMom

These are great! I only use half the seasoning packet though.

My husband refuses to drop me off or pick me up from the hospital. He disagrees with my decision to have surgery. I expected this but now need a plan. For those who have a spouse like mine or kept your surgery a secret, how did you arrange for hospital pick-up/ drop-off? Uber? Swear a friend to secrecy?

Yay about appproval 🎉but sucks you have to wait. 😔

Good luck! it'll be here before you know it.

That would be devastating.

Ha! You nailed it! He's 180! LOL--Thanks for the laugh 🤣

Thank you for the prayers.

Thank you to everyone for your support. I truly appreciate it. Reading the kind words made a really dark time manageable. I wanted to give an update. I reached out to my mother in law who lives in another state. She'll be coming into town on the night of my surgery. She will pick me up after my surgery and stay for a few days while I recover. She's a loving and caring woman but, it was still tough to ask for something so big. She understands how difficult her son can be. As far as getting to the hospital, I've exhausted every possibility, and taking an Uber seems to be the easiest. Nothing has been resolved with my husband. He still refuses to be a part of the process. He still insists if I exercise, I'll lose weight. I'm done trying to explain and plead my case. He just doesn't get it. I need to focus on myself and my goals right now. I'm in therapy. The suggested strategies for getting some peace are working. I have one final appointment in a week to complete my 6-month requirement (yay!) and then it's the waiting game for insurance approval. Sleeve and tube removal here I come. 😁

Good job! You must feel so amazing.

Good job! You must feel so good.

Good job! You must feel so good.

I hope that happened because they were naive to your diet and not mean spirited.

That's real supportive and understanding. Ug. Is there a book on how to be supportive when family/friend undergoes WLS? If not, this community should get together and write one.

That's nice that you had someone who understands what it's like to take you to the hospital.

Check this one out. Walmart Equate Calcium Citrate + D3 Petites Dietary Supplement, 200 count is $6.98 a bottle or 3.5 cents each/ $13.96 x 2. This one comes in behind the 21st Century Vitamins Calcium Citrate Plus D3 Maximum Tablets, 400 Count, in price but it might make a good second choice if the other is out of stock or the price goes up. Don't forget to subcribe and save on Amazon to get the lowest price. Equate Calcium Citrate + D3 Petites Dietary Supplement, 200 count - Walmart.com

Its been really helpful to get feedback from everyone. It helps remind me that it's not irrational to feel hurt and upset. Melody, you are so right! A marriage can't work with only one engaged partner. Just like your ex-husband refused to participate in the retreat, mine refused therapy. Both were opportunities to improve our marriages and they chose not to. The message is clear. They've checked out, are done, or want to keep things just the way they are. I do understand it but it's difficult to accept. Your husband sounds like a funny, ("trophy wife!") supportive guy. You deserve to be happy. "If we weren’t in a pandemic, I’d drive to MN and be your home care pal." --Thanks so much! This made me smile. 😀

It's helpful to hear how you dealt with it. I created an account on Care.com and I'm going to contact my clinic on Monday and see if they have any ideas.

Wow! You look amazing and it sounds like you really did turn your life around. 9 Years keepng the weight off is an incredible accomplishment!! Congrats!!

A buddy and support groups are both great ideas. 😀 They do offer support groups at my clinic. I've been trying to power through on my own but obviously I could use the support. I'll call to find out when they are. Thanks for the suggestions.

Yeah, from what you said they do sound the same. --This relationship is toxic. After you get home and he proceeds to behave like this and not help you, divorce him.-- Whew, that's really direct and hard to hear. So, I should divorce him? If my husband doesn't like something I do or say I get the silent treatment for days. He lacks empathy and never seems to feel guilt. He's charming and funny to the rest of the world but has a Jekyll and Hyde personality. Does that sound like your ex? My husband agreed to go to a couples therapist with me. We went to 2 sessions together. On the third, he texted me 2 hours before the appointment to say he wouldn't go back because he felt like he was being attacked. I thought the therapist was great. They were just as tough on me for allowing this to go on as they were on him for his behavior. My point is, I've done everything to make this work despite the way he acts. Still, I expected him to be there after major surgery. Did you have a last straw? Did you have the support of family and friends when you decided to leave? Thanks so much for sharing. It's helpful to hear from someone who has made it through it.

Yeah, maybe I could arrange just a pick up.

Thank you.

I like bluntness. I agree with what you said. I was hoping my husband would step up for me like I would if it were him. My doctor told me early on that some relationships don't survive the surgery. She's probably seen these situations hundreds of times.

I'm in Minnesota, Saint Paul suburb.

--His only concern with this whole process is how hot I will look after a yearish. --Ha! I love it! You two sound so strong together. I'm sure you know this but, It's common for one person to feel insecure in a relationship when the other makes a big change. You've been together for a long time and it sounds like he's still crazy for you. That gives me hope! Good luck to you. I hope you get another surgery date soon and that your surgery moves forward as planned. 😄