The Greater Fool

As one of the group "men" I feel the need to defend them. But I won't because relationships have come up and I want to talk about them. Them and being invisible, I want to talk about that also. By the time this is over you will be wishing I defended men. #NotAllMen
Invisibility first:
When I was 500+ pounds overweight I was a weird sort of invisible. The sort of invisible that people running into posts, missing stair steps, and other slapstick comedy were common around me. The sort of invisible that when I was in crouds, I had a 3 foot buffer of empty space around me. I didn't realize what I had until I lost it.
As I was losing weight my invisiblity failed me completely. As I went about my business around my neighborhood, complete strangers would engage with me like long lost friends. I lived next to a police academy. We each ignored each other, or so I thought. When I was at a point I started walking then running, a police officer congratulated me on my weight loss, told me he started way back when I started. Over his car's megaphone. At 4:00am. Then the police cadets file out for their morning run, and he had each of them shake my hand. I almost became a recluse then and there.
My invisibilty returned when I lost the excess weight and moved to a new city. It was lilke being showered with happiness. In crowds it wasn't pretend, people really didn't see me. I lost my 3 foot buffer but it was almost worth it. I was just another random person. I am the definition of average looking not worthy of a second glance. Or even a first. It's like a warm blanket on a cold night.
Relationships:
"WLS makes bad relationships worse and good ones better."
If you are losing a signficant amount of weight you are making a big change in the status quo, the balance, of a lot of relationships. In this very thread we've read how relationships change with spouses, friends, enemies, and other strangers. Even yourself.
On the "how relationships change for the worst." That lifetime friend that changes because you are now the pretty one. That significant other that liked you the way you were, such as becoming noticable to other men, or because you are more confident, or don't need your significant other as much.You and that unwanted attention.
Oddly, "how relationships change for the better" is much the same list. As is often the case, it's all about our perception, our baggage, and what we want from life. If we want to help a relationship make it through this transformation, consistent and repetitive communication is necessary. Keeping and building relationships is only half up to you. Some relationships may not continue because the person on the other side can't cope with your changes.
WLS will change your life in more ways than just losing weight.
Good luck,
Tek

As one of the group "men" I feel the need to defend them. But I won't because relationships have come up and I want to talk about them. Them and being invisible, I want to talk about that also. By the time this is over you will be wishing I defended men. #NotAllMen
Invisibility first:
When I was 500+ pounds overweight I was a weird sort of invisible. The sort of invisible that people running into posts, missing stair steps, and other slapstick comedy were common around me. The sort of invisible that when I was in crouds, I had a 3 foot buffer of empty space around me. I didn't realize what I had until I lost it.
As I was losing weight my invisiblity failed me completely. As I went about my business around my neighborhood, complete strangers would engage with me like long lost friends. I lived next to a police academy. We each ignored each other, or so I thought. When I was at a point I started walking then running, a police officer congratulated me on my weight loss, told me he started way back when I started. Over his car's megaphone. At 4:00am. Then the police cadets file out for their morning run, and he had each of them shake my hand. I almost became a recluse then and there.
My invisibilty returned when I lost the excess weight and moved to a new city. It was lilke being showered with happiness. In crowds it wasn't pretend, people really didn't see me. I lost my 3 foot buffer but it was almost worth it. I was just another random person. I am the definition of average looking not worthy of a second glance. Or even a first. It's like a warm blanket on a cold night.
Relationships:
"WLS makes bad relationships worse and good ones better."
If you are losing a signficant amount of weight you are making a big change in the status quo, the balance, of a lot of relationships. In this very thread we've read how relationships change with spouses, friends, enemies, and other strangers. Even yourself.
On the "how relationships change for the worst." That lifetime friend that changes because you are now the pretty one. That significant other that liked you the way you were, such as becoming noticable to other men, or because you are more confident, or don't need your significant other as much.You and that unwanted attention.
Oddly, "how relationships change for the better" is much the same list. As is often the case, it's all about our perception, our baggage, and what we want from life. If we want to help a relationship make it through this transformation, consistent and repetitive communication is necessary. Keeping and building relationships is only half up to you. Some relationships may not continue because the person on the other side can't cope with your changes.
WLS will change your life in more ways than just losing weight.
Good luck,
Tek

As one of the group "men" I feel the need to defend them. But I won't because relationships have come up and I want to talk about them. Them and being invisible, I want to talk about that also. By the time this is over you will be wishing I defended men. #NotAllMen
Invisibility first:
When I was 500+ pounds overweight I was a weird sort of invisible. The sort of invisible that people running into posts, missing stair steps, and other slapstick comedy were common around me. The sort of invisible that when I was in crouds, I had a 3 foot buffer of empty space around me. I didn't realize what I had until I lost it.
As I was losing weight my invisiblity failed me completely. As I went about my business around my neighborhood, complete strangers would engage with me like long lost friends. I lived next to a police academy. We each ignored each other, or so I thought. When I was at a point I started walking then running, a police officer congratulated me on my weight loss, told me he started way back when I started. Over his car's megaphone. At 4:00am. Then the police cadets file out for their morning run, and he had each of them shake my hand. I almost became a recluse then and there.
My invisibilty returned when I lost the excess weight and moved to a new city. It was lilke being showered with happiness. In crowds it wasn't pretend, people really didn't see me. I lost my 3 foot buffer but it was almost worth it. I was just another random person. I am the definition of average looking not worthy of a second glance. Or even a first. It's like a warm blanket on a cold night.
Relationships:
"WLS makes bad relationships worse and good ones better."
If you are losing a signficant amount of weight you are making a big change in the status quo, the balance, of a lot of relationships. In this very thread we've read how relationships change with spouses, friends, enemies, and other strangers. Even yourself.
On the "how relationships change for the worst." That lifetime friend that changes because you are now the pretty one. That significant other that liked you the way you were, such as becoming noticable to other men, or because you are more confident, or don't need your significant other as much.You and that unwanted attention.
Oddly, "how relationships change for the better" is much the same list. As is often the case, it's all about our perception, our baggage, and what we want from life. If we want to help a relationship make it through this transformation, consistent and repetitive communication is necessary. Keeping and building relationships is only half up to you. Some relationships may not continue because the person on the other side can't cope with your changes.
WLS will change your life in more ways than just losing weight.
Good luck,
Tek

As one of the group "men" I feel the need to defend them. But I won't because relationships have come up and I want to talk about them. Them and being invisible, I want to talk about that also. By the time this is over you will be wishing I defended men. #NotAllMen
Invisibility first:
When I was 500+ pounds overweight I was a weird sort of invisible. The sort of invisible that people running into posts, missing stair steps, and other slapstick comedy were common around me. The sort of invisible that when I was in crouds, I had a 3 foot buffer of empty space around me. I didn't realize what I had until I lost it.
As I was losing weight my invisiblity failed me completely. As I went about my business around my neighborhood, complete strangers would engage with me like long lost friends. I lived next to a police academy. We each ignored each other, or so I thought. When I was at a point I started walking then running, a police officer congratulated me on my weight loss, told me he started way back when I started. Over his car's megaphone. At 4:00am. Then the police cadets file out for their morning run, and he had each of them shake my hand. I almost became a recluse then and there.
My invisibilty returned when I lost the excess weight and moved to a new city. It was lilke being showered with happiness. In crowds it wasn't pretend, people really didn't see me. I lost my 3 foot buffer but it was almost worth it. I was just another random person. I am the definition of average looking not worthy of a second glance. Or even a first. It's like a warm blanket on a cold night.
Relationships:
"WLS makes bad relationships worse and good ones better."
If you are losing a signficant amount of weight you are making a big change in the status quo, the balance, of a lot of relationships. In this very thread we've read how relationships change with spouses, friends, enemies, and other strangers. Even yourself.
On the "how relationships change for the worst." That lifetime friend that changes because you are now the pretty one. That significant other that liked you the way you were, such as becoming noticable to other men, or because you are more confident, or don't need your significant other as much.You and that unwanted attention.
Oddly, "how relationships change for the better" is much the same list. As is often the case, it's all about our perception, our baggage, and what we want from life. If we want to help a relationship make it through this transformation, consistent and repetitive communication is necessary. Keeping and building relationships is only half up to you. Some relationships may not continue because the person on the other side can't cope with your changes.
WLS will change your life in more ways than just losing weight.
Good luck,
Tek

As one of the group "men" I feel the need to defend them. But I won't because relationships have come up and I want to talk about them. Them and being invisible, I want to talk about that also. By the time this is over you will be wishing I defended men. #NotAllMen
Invisibility first:
When I was 500+ pounds overweight I was a weird sort of invisible. The sort of invisible that people running into posts, missing stair steps, and other slapstick comedy were common around me. The sort of invisible that when I was in crouds, I had a 3 foot buffer of empty space around me. I didn't realize what I had until I lost it.
As I was losing weight my invisiblity failed me completely. As I went about my business around my neighborhood, complete strangers would engage with me like long lost friends. I lived next to a police academy. We each ignored each other, or so I thought. When I was at a point I started walking then running, a police officer congratulated me on my weight loss, told me he started way back when I started. Over his car's megaphone. At 4:00am. Then the police cadets file out for their morning run, and he had each of them shake my hand. I almost became a recluse then and there.
My invisibilty returned when I lost the excess weight and moved to a new city. It was lilke being showered with happiness. In crowds it wasn't pretend, people really didn't see me. I lost my 3 foot buffer but it was almost worth it. I was just another random person. I am the definition of average looking not worthy of a second glance. Or even a first. It's like a warm blanket on a cold night.
Relationships:
"WLS makes bad relationships worse and good ones better."
If you are losing a signficant amount of weight you are making a big change in the status quo, the balance, of a lot of relationships. In this very thread we've read how relationships change with spouses, friends, enemies, and other strangers. Even yourself.
On the "how relationships change for the worst." That lifetime friend that changes because you are now the pretty one. That significant other that liked you the way you were, such as becoming noticable to other men, or because you are more confident, or don't need your significant other as much.You and that unwanted attention.
Oddly, "how relationships change for the better" is much the same list. As is often the case, it's all about our perception, our baggage, and what we want from life. If we want to help a relationship make it through this transformation, consistent and repetitive communication is necessary. Keeping and building relationships is only half up to you. Some relationships may not continue because the person on the other side can't cope with your changes.
WLS will change your life in more ways than just losing weight.
Good luck,
Tek

As one of the group "men" I feel the need to defend them. But I won't because relationships have come up and I want to talk about them. Them and being invisible, I want to talk about that also. By the time this is over you will be wishing I defended men. #NotAllMen
Invisibility first:
When I was 500+ pounds overweight I was a weird sort of invisible. The sort of invisible that people running into posts, missing stair steps, and other slapstick comedy were common around me. The sort of invisible that when I was in crouds, I had a 3 foot buffer of empty space around me. I didn't realize what I had until I lost it.
As I was losing weight my invisiblity failed me completely. As I went about my business around my neighborhood, complete strangers would engage with me like long lost friends. I lived next to a police academy. We each ignored each other, or so I thought. When I was at a point I started walking then running, a police officer congratulated me on my weight loss, told me he started way back when I started. Over his car's megaphone. At 4:00am. Then the police cadets file out for their morning run, and he had each of them shake my hand. I almost became a recluse then and there.
My invisibilty returned when I lost the excess weight and moved to a new city. It was lilke being showered with happiness. In crowds it wasn't pretend, people really didn't see me. I lost my 3 foot buffer but it was almost worth it. I was just another random person. I am the definition of average looking not worthy of a second glance. Or even a first. It's like a warm blanket on a cold night.
Relationships:
"WLS makes bad relationships worse and good ones better."
If you are losing a signficant amount of weight you are making a big change in the status quo, the balance, of a lot of relationships. In this very thread we've read how relationships change with spouses, friends, enemies, and other strangers. Even yourself.
On the "how relationships change for the worst." That lifetime friend that changes because you are now the pretty one. That significant other that liked you the way you were, such as becoming noticable to other men, or because you are more confident, or don't need your significant other as much.You and that unwanted attention.
Oddly, "how relationships change for the better" is much the same list. As is often the case, it's all about our perception, our baggage, and what we want from life. If we want to help a relationship make it through this transformation, consistent and repetitive communication is necessary. Keeping and building relationships is only half up to you. Some relationships may not continue because the person on the other side can't cope with your changes.
WLS will change your life in more ways than just losing weight.
Good luck,
Tek

Congratulations and good luck.
Tek

Congratulations and good luck.
Tek

I'm 21 years post-op. A sandwich that I could easily eat pre-op is 4 meals now.
The thing is, my concept of 'standard' has changed completely. For this thing to work long term it had to*. In the years pre-op I could do any crash diet that came along with 100% compliance for months. I can do anything for a short time knowing the short time would end eventually. That's not change, that's will power, which most of us have in abundance.
WLS is forever*.
The early "honeymoon" period shouldn't be about losing weight as fast as you can*. It should be about changing "normal" and getting weight loss as a positive reinforcement for compliance*.
Compliance + positive reinforcement + time = new normal*.
My plan was to eat the way I would after I lost all the weight. Basically, I started my "maintenance" plan the day after surgery. I eat now pretty much as I have since about 3 months post-op, though now I complete more meals than I did at 3 months. There is no "after." This is my normal, the way I eat without thinking.
WLS is forever is my opinion. Plenty of folks have done the draconian post-op diet and lost all their weight and even maintained it for years. Many track every morsel they eat forever. For me, that's no way to live. This is not how my surgeon wanted me to live.
Good luck,
Tek


* Personal opinion.

I'm 21 years post-op. A sandwich that I could easily eat pre-op is 4 meals now.
The thing is, my concept of 'standard' has changed completely. For this thing to work long term it had to*. In the years pre-op I could do any crash diet that came along with 100% compliance for months. I can do anything for a short time knowing the short time would end eventually. That's not change, that's will power, which most of us have in abundance.
WLS is forever*.
The early "honeymoon" period shouldn't be about losing weight as fast as you can*. It should be about changing "normal" and getting weight loss as a positive reinforcement for compliance*.
Compliance + positive reinforcement + time = new normal*.
My plan was to eat the way I would after I lost all the weight. Basically, I started my "maintenance" plan the day after surgery. I eat now pretty much as I have since about 3 months post-op, though now I complete more meals than I did at 3 months. There is no "after." This is my normal, the way I eat without thinking.
WLS is forever is my opinion. Plenty of folks have done the draconian post-op diet and lost all their weight and even maintained it for years. Many track every morsel they eat forever. For me, that's no way to live. This is not how my surgeon wanted me to live.
Good luck,
Tek


* Personal opinion.

I'm 21 years post-op. A sandwich that I could easily eat pre-op is 4 meals now.
The thing is, my concept of 'standard' has changed completely. For this thing to work long term it had to*. In the years pre-op I could do any crash diet that came along with 100% compliance for months. I can do anything for a short time knowing the short time would end eventually. That's not change, that's will power, which most of us have in abundance.
WLS is forever*.
The early "honeymoon" period shouldn't be about losing weight as fast as you can*. It should be about changing "normal" and getting weight loss as a positive reinforcement for compliance*.
Compliance + positive reinforcement + time = new normal*.
My plan was to eat the way I would after I lost all the weight. Basically, I started my "maintenance" plan the day after surgery. I eat now pretty much as I have since about 3 months post-op, though now I complete more meals than I did at 3 months. There is no "after." This is my normal, the way I eat without thinking.
WLS is forever is my opinion. Plenty of folks have done the draconian post-op diet and lost all their weight and even maintained it for years. Many track every morsel they eat forever. For me, that's no way to live. This is not how my surgeon wanted me to live.
Good luck,
Tek


* Personal opinion.

It's a common trait that many of us put ourselves second to our spouses, signficant others, and children. Often we are guilted when we try to put ourselves first. This for many of us is something that must change in order to succeed at surgery and weight loss.
Evaluate your situation. Perhaps this is when you should start taking care of yourself first.
Good luck,
Tek

It's a common trait that many of us put ourselves second to our spouses, signficant others, and children. Often we are guilted when we try to put ourselves first. This for many of us is something that must change in order to succeed at surgery and weight loss.
Evaluate your situation. Perhaps this is when you should start taking care of yourself first.
Good luck,
Tek

It's a common trait that many of us put ourselves second to our spouses, signficant others, and children. Often we are guilted when we try to put ourselves first. This for many of us is something that must change in order to succeed at surgery and weight loss.
Evaluate your situation. Perhaps this is when you should start taking care of yourself first.
Good luck,
Tek

It's a common trait that many of us put ourselves second to our spouses, signficant others, and children. Often we are guilted when we try to put ourselves first. This for many of us is something that must change in order to succeed at surgery and weight loss.
Evaluate your situation. Perhaps this is when you should start taking care of yourself first.
Good luck,
Tek

It's a common trait that many of us put ourselves second to our spouses, signficant others, and children. Often we are guilted when we try to put ourselves first. This for many of us is something that must change in order to succeed at surgery and weight loss.
Evaluate your situation. Perhaps this is when you should start taking care of yourself first.
Good luck,
Tek

It's a common trait that many of us put ourselves second to our spouses, signficant others, and children. Often we are guilted when we try to put ourselves first. This for many of us is something that must change in order to succeed at surgery and weight loss.
Evaluate your situation. Perhaps this is when you should start taking care of yourself first.
Good luck,
Tek

I can fit in a bathtub. With my spouse.
I can roll over in bed without having to do it in stages.
I can fit into a theater seat, airline seat, any seat.
Horseback riding on vacation with my spouse.
Kayaking on vacation.
Riding bike to work.
Five marathons. Running across the Golden Gate Bridge.

When I had my RNY 21 years ago, I was diagnosed with fatty liver also. Doc said it was the largest he'd ever seen. I don't know if the two things are related. As liver diseases go Fatty Liver seems the most benign. I just need to avoid things that are hard on the liver. Alcohol, Acetaminophn (Tylenol), etc.. Annual blood work tells me that my liver enzymes are a bit wrong, but no medications required.
I don't have experience with your SASI, but I do know that whatever you eat or drink goes straight into your intestines, there is no stomach or Pyloric Valve to slow things down. If your eating is over sugary, fatty, or even carby, diarrhea is a symptom of dumping. It also might be a symptom of something esle, or it may even be normal for SASI, I don't know.
Good luck,
Tek

"Clean living and not suffering stupid questions."
Tek

Hello Christine and congratulations on your retirement. Nice to run into fellow traveler that had the full cut, though my team called it 'open.' For me the full cut / open surgery with accompanying staples were the worst part of the whole process. Once the staples came out I was a happy camper.
Since we're in Rants and Raves, I'll dip my toe into rants...
I somewhat agree with your frustration with the changes in nutrition and supplements over the years. So much of what we're told more and more is pulled out of thin air, or from studies taken out of context, or study results that are exaggerated beyond reason, or just conflicting information that people just didn't think through.
We're bombarded with all this 'new', 'critical' information that is neither new or critical. It's just the same old stuff packed in a way that will get clicks. People are still looking the buy or sell a new magic bullet to solve their weight and other problems they didn't know they had. It's the same old mundane nothing that does not match up to the hype.
First world problems.
Good luck on your repairs.
Tek

I could have written this post, replacing 'whiskey' with 'cognac.' I drank between half a fifth [375ml] to a fifth [750ml] in one sitting. 100% sleep solution. Since surgery nearly 22 years ago, typically no ill effects in the morning.
I have severe OCD so virutally everthing in my life is a binge episode. If one is good, ten is better. My mind is always spinning.
I know/knew drinking this much this way was not healthy. Then again, not sleeping for days at a time is also not healthy. It's a rock and hard place thing.
The only advice I have is stop trying to deal with this [sleeping] on your own. Get your doctors involved and keep them involved until you have a workable solution. Fixing sleep should remove the 'need' for whiskey to sleep. If it doesn't change get help.
Good luck,
Tek

I could have written this post, replacing 'whiskey' with 'cognac.' I drank between half a fifth [375ml] to a fifth [750ml] in one sitting. 100% sleep solution. Since surgery nearly 22 years ago, typically no ill effects in the morning.
I have severe OCD so virutally everthing in my life is a binge episode. If one is good, ten is better. My mind is always spinning.
I know/knew drinking this much this way was not healthy. Then again, not sleeping for days at a time is also not healthy. It's a rock and hard place thing.
The only advice I have is stop trying to deal with this [sleeping] on your own. Get your doctors involved and keep them involved until you have a workable solution. Fixing sleep should remove the 'need' for whiskey to sleep. If it doesn't change get help.
Good luck,
Tek

Tell us of your eating and activity programs so that we may give rational advice.
For example, how many meals per day? Consisting of? How compliant are you? What activity program do you follow? How often? How are you performing compared to program goals?
Additionally, are you tracking your eating and exercise? How consistent are you?
Surgery addresses short term over-eating pretty successfully. However, 'grazing,' which is constantly eating smaller amounts over a longer period of time defeat our restriction component pretty effectively. There are actually other similar traps we may fall into without being aware.
So, let us know and there are tons of folks that will fall over themselves to help you out.
Good luck,
Tek

There are comparable ones you can pull from the interwebs. It's pure nonsense in my opinion. Why should my choice to eat less, and let's face it this is exactly what surgery is, be a restaurant's problem? When we ate less with a normal diet, was that a reason to get a discount?
The other point is restaurants are unlikely to accept the card. It's something they are not a party to creating.
Personally, the thought of making my surgery an issue in a restaurant with strangers is something I would ever do. Again, it's my business.
I know not everyone agrees with me. It's OK, it's why Baskin's makes 31 flavors. But I believe we just need to work out following our plan without making it other peoples' problem. Somewhat like a recovering alcoholic not forcing everyone around them not to drink.
Besides, early on leftovers can be wonderous things. The right full price appetizer can cover days of meals. The right meal even longer.
Here I am 20+ years later and it's a long time since I bothered with leftovers. It's easier just to eat what my plan says and leave the rest. It's been this way since before I hit goal.
Good luck,
Tek