The Greater Fool

1. Insurance paid for my abdominoplasty. Since my weight loss caused back issues, rashes under the pannus, among other things, the surgery was classified as "reconstructive" rather than "cosmetic." Insurance paid for it all; 2. I can't speak to your situation, but for me there is nothing I could have done to deal with the extra skin. Lipo removes fat, but we generally also have extra skin. A lot of extra skin; 3. This was the most painful experience of my life. I was warned that it would be extraordinarily painful but it was completely under sold; 4. I couldn't imagine going through what I went through outside of a hospital, even without the unexpected events that required a second emergency life saving surgery.

Welcome to the forums and congratulations on your success. Many of us used food as a coping mechanism or self medication to deal with issues. If this is true for you then having WLS may have taken a key coping mechanism away. It's likely time to talk with a therapist or behavioralist to learn new, better, healthier coping mechanisms. Many of us also had unrealistic expectations on how WLS magically change our lives. I've mentioned elsewhere that I'm an introvert and I'd long accepted it, but I still had visions of becoming a social butterfly when I lost my weight. Everything that my weight prevented I would be able to do again better than ever. Predictably, that's not how it turned out. A common meme is "we had surgery on our stomachs not our brains." Just because we lost weight doesn't mean we will automatically change. Losing our weight wasn't easy and took a rather drastic help. Changing other aspects of our lives may likewise take effort. WLS and rapid weight loss can upset your life. You are changing the status quo. Your relationships may change because your roles in them change. Work can be impacted. Even the way you perceive yourself may change, or not change quick enough, or become totally unrealistic. You may get more wanted or unwanted attention and be unsure of your response. Be sure to keep lines of communication open with your spouse, friends, and associates. Especially your spouse. You may eventually have your Saturday night whiskey. Two things here: First, be aware and careful of transfer addiction. Now that you don't have food to use as a coping mechanism many of us have turned to other often worse things like alcohol, drugs, or stand up comedy. Second, if not having your Saturday night whiskey makes you this sad then perhaps it's something you need to discuss with a therapist. To sum up find someone to help you. Heck, find a team. Your spouse can be a huge support. A close, trustworthy friend or family member could help. Forums like this can help. A therapist would be a great choice because they have the experience and resources to help build new tools. Good luck, Tek

I've been trying to write a response since you posted (last night for me). I suspect you've hit a nerve for a lot of us. You should see all the rejected drafts. I'm a guy but much of what you posted hits home for me. I've never been a social person. Invisible was my default condition and I'm generally good with that. My brother is the opposite, very outgoing, social, can act like he's known a person for years on their first meeting. Gawd I admired his ability and often was jealous of it. My son is very much the same as my brother. There were times and situations when I completely wished I could just do what they do. Over the years though I've become more accustomed to and comfortable with my invisibility. I don't do pictures, most of my outreach is in writing. I believe it's our character not our appearances that are important. As an introvert and perhaps a curmudgeon I don't 'waste' time trying to be social. Being social is work and draining for me. I don't like it, so I avoid it. I get to focus on the stuff that interests me or my spouse who likes me the way I am. I am lucky. I'm generally happy where I am. If you're not then please talk to someone you trust like your spouse, or a therapist, or if you think it's what you want, someone who can help you change. For the record, many of us are anonymous here. It's how we can be honest, vulnerable, and ask for help. Thanks for trusting us. Good luck, Tek

Congratulations on your success! Medical incompetence when it comes to weight, race, or any of several other factors is horrifying. I'm sure many of us have similar stories. Good luck, Tek

Congratulations on your success. Good luck, Tek

I didn't have a pre-op liquid diet. Just a 'normal' weight loss diet. My recollection was that I gained weight which was a constant worry on surgery day. My surgeon repeatedly told me he would cancel my surgery on the day of if I didn't lose weight. Gaining was freaky. As it turned out there were things beyond our control as my surgery was open and instructional for other surgeons. So gain or lose it turns out the surgery was happening no matter what. I was lucky. For once. Good luck, Tek

Congratulations on your success. Good luck, Tek

Ugh... Every POV here is important. I do appreciate the kind thoughts, though. As I said, I don't think you intended offense or rudeness. Written stuff like this makes reading tone very tough. So, no need to apologize. Least of all to me. Keep up the good work. Good luck, Tek

Thanks for allowing me an opinion. I gotta think that you do not intend to be coming off the way you are to me. I'm finding it difficult to read what you've posted charitably. Frankly, you are wrong that I criticized anyone. Can you make the same claim? How did you get out of what I wrote that I have an issue not eating chips? Weird. I understand how restaurants work, I'm not sure why you felt the need to explain. As I have said multiple times already, what we do and eat is about what is on our plans and is completely about what works for each of us. I'm glad you seem to agree. Then you moved on to how this was about money and that "some of us paid for our surgeries with insurance." This completely confuses me. Insurance also paid for my surgery 20 years ago. You seem to be assuming money is not a concern for me. Like many people here I've gone through periods, even since surgery, where even a child's meal was an extravagance too far. Where did I even come near belittling the choice of a child's meal based on cost? Again, you seem to be reading things that simply are not there. With all this you presume we're good here? I want to believe you intend to be, what, helpful? But it feels to me like accusation. Please approach every post by every person here with the most charitable interpretation possible, which is how the vast majority of posts here are intended. I know sometimes folks take expressions of contrary life experience and choices as criticisms. Please don't. Good luck, Tek

Phase 4 is not nearly the same thing to everyone. To me, it is an OK 1974 movie about ants taking over the world, or at least Arizona. Can you describe what Phase 4 is for your plan and we will gladly share... Good luck, Tek

And I, in contrast, expressed what I do. Or am I not allowed an opinion? I never said folks should not do what they choose, I only expressed the reasons for my choices. To the contrary, as I said in my post: "As with everyone and everything, if it works for you and your plan is what matters." I don't see my post as the least bit controversial. Good luck, Tek

The only thing that is demonstrated to work is time and patience. Good luck, Tek

Different surgeons have different perspectives. What one thinks is nonsense another swears by. Generally, my surgeon agreed with your surgeon that the idea is not to push food through to enable the ability to eat more. There are often times when drinking with food is quite appropriate, such as with dry food. My surgeon didn't swear by much other than that every patient is unique thus every patient has different needs. My needs were that I required occasional drinks to help food down my gullet. Such is life for some of us. I usually have a drink at hand during meals of which I rarely make use. Generally, only when food is dry and needs help getting down my throat. Issues with reflux and other such things seem to depend on individual responses. I don't have issues with reflux or GERD. However, just because I don't have such issues doesn't indicate that what I do or believe has any effect on it. Sometimes no matter what we do we have issues, likewise sometimes no matter what we do we don't. Life just works that way. Good luck, Tek

My plan doesn't include chips. Most child's menus are not anything I would touch, nor are they designed with adult pallets in mind. I do, however, love Mexican food. How can you go wrong with protein and cheese? Flour tortillas are problematic, so I avoid those like the plague. When ordering out I'd rather just purchase a protein based menu item and go from there. I'd drop the bun or flour tortilla for two reasons. First, such bread items tend to cause problems for me. Second, they are generally not on my plan. When it comes to left-overs, I've learned not to bother, again for multiple reasons. First, chicken tends not to work in leftover form for me, though I can often manage the right meat in the right style. Second, my spouse generally eats her complete meal rarely with leftovers, so each meal is it's on it's own. Why would I do left-overs when fresh food is the order of the day? Most left-overs get discarded eventually. As with everyone and everything, if it works for you and your plan it's what matters. Good luck, Tek

For my chronic pain from DDD, arthritis, and joint degradation, I use good 'ol narcotics. Good luck, Tek

My surgeon wanted me to get all my protein from actual food. No protein drinks. Bars were out because snacks were out. Good luck, Tek

Our bodies learn to cope and compensate. Good luck, Tek

The Dark Tower, Author: Stephen King, Narrated by George Guidall. Good luck, Tek

I had my Gallbladder removed during my Gastric Bypass. I've had bouts of nausea on and off since, but I never related it to being sans Gall Bladder. Something to ponder. I know it can be very frustrating. For me, as with all things stomach related, so much can depend on stress, fatigue, pain, illness, poor food choice, and a myriad of other things. Once the nausea starts a whole series of dominoes begin to fall, so if I can head off the nausea it can be a life saver. My PCP gave me Ondansetron that does help. Ginger Ale also seems to help in a pinch. Sometimes a bit of food can help. I find that during my on again periods I'm also particularly sensitive to smells so any 'cure' based on smelling something would be something I avoid. Oddly, my pain meds help. Go figure. If mine were constant like yours I would entertain talking to a Doctor that deals with stomach stuff (not a surgeon). Good luck, Tek

I'm 20 years post-op. I expect to start warming up any day now. Any day now. Good luck, Tek

Welcome to the forums, Tina. You won't find "normal" diet protocols in relation to WLS, so most things aren't considered nor counted, if at all, until much later in the process when eating begins to approximate anything close to normal. The chorus is "Protein first," which we all learn early on. As one approaches a normal weight and "maintenance" mode more normal macros come into play, though not always. It's a different ride than the ones you've been on before. Enjoy! Good luck, Tek

I would re-open discussion with your medical team. There are lists of medications flying around the internet that claim to be medications Weight Loss patients can't or shouldn't take. "Everyone" knows you should not take NSAIDs. Nonsense. Only your medical team has a say in what you may or may not take, and even that should be based on your personal situation. I am able to take NSAIDs as long as I treat them like every other medication I take: Know the negative side effects and monitor carefully. As with every other medication, there are ways of mitigating negative effects, which I also do. On the flip side, Tylenol (generally declared safe) is one of the few meds I was warned to be very careful of because of liver issues. I still have leave to take it occasionally. Often it's better a risky medication that helps than no medication that doesn't, especially with pain inducing situations. Good luck, Tek

"Facts!" We also get our own facts now! "Slippery food" is by it's very definition bad! Veggies need not apply. I would never go so far as accusing someone eating veggies as doing anything near unhealthy! That's just fanciful definitions that is. Cheese is gawd's gift, so that's cool in my world. Oh, we get our own "worlds" now too! In my book, yeah we get books too, if I can eat extra 'healthy' stuff, more's the power. I will not have anyone coming anywhere close to classifying it is bad. Jealousy is what I call that! Good luck, Tek

Back when I had surgery "slider foods" had a very specific meaning. They used to be generally high carb foods like pastas and potatoes, things that "slide" easily down your throats once chewed a little that were less than optimal in our plans. Chips were non-obvious because they started out crunchy but became slider foods. I forget what they all were because the one's I didn't care for I never worried about and the others, once I got out of the habit I didn't remember what they were, so I've long since forgotten the specific foods. This was one of my surgeon's rules that I've long since forgotten. My surgeon never classified vegetables as slider foods. More's the pity. Not unlike how "truth" used to have a specific meaning but now we get to have our own. Geez I sound like my grandmother. And while I'm here, get off my lawn! Good luck, Tek

'She' being your surgeon? While you believed you had your Gallbladder removed it turned out to be a small Gallstone? Please demand of your surgeon better communications and demand a course of action that will deal with your issue. If you don't make it important your medical team won't treat it importantly. It seems your Gallbladder is still an issue that needs resolving. Occasional nausea is one thing. Constant for years would be quite another. I would be raising a stink in my medical teams office to no end and then I would be dealing with a new medical team if I didn't get results. Me no peace, them no peace. I've been shocked recently to learn how sensitive medical folk are to bad reviews. Who knew? Make sure they feel your pain. Stay on them. Everyone keep advocating for yourselves. Good luck, Tek