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perfektlynrml

Gastric Bypass Patients
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  1. Like
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from GreenTealael in I am so f*cked. Rebound sugar and carb cravings.   
    I’m back. I was right in the middle of a meltdown when I posted earlier. I think I do need therapy because I have a history of bulimia and binge eating. It’s the way I cope with anxiety which I am having a lot of lately. I feel like a junkie looking for a fix and I am overwhelmed with the strength of the urges for sweets. I try to keep the house free of junk but sometimes I purposely buy it. I feel ashamed even though I know that I have a problem. I have also started abusing marijuana which I never had a problem with before. I can’t drink because that physically hurts my stomach but I have been using edibles to get high more than a few times a week. I think because I had my surgery during the pandemic I was able to slip through the screening process. They didn’t ask certain things and I didn’t volunteer them. I’m not sure what I should do. Do I see a therapist that specializes in addiction or just a regular one? I haven’t told my surgeon any of this but I think I will start by talking to his nurse. She is really compassionate. Maybe they can direct me to the right type of counseling. I feel that if I don’t I’m going to end up most likely with exercise addiction again too. I see the patterns starting in my mind of making these really unrealistic exercise goals and I’ve hurt my body in the past from exercising past the normal amount. I can’t go through that again.
  2. Like
    perfektlynrml reacted to BigSue in I am so f*cked. Rebound sugar and carb cravings.   
    I have been looking for a therapist and having a lot of trouble finding someone who treats eating disorders (I'm not sure I have an actual eating disorder, but I certainly have issues with food that I need to deal with) and takes my insurance. I'm guessing your best bet would be to find a therapist who treats addiction and/or eating disorders. Your surgeon or his nurse might be able to recommend someone who has helped other WLS patients. I'm finding that there aren't a lot of therapists who are experienced in treating WLS patients, unfortunately. We have kind of a special situation, so it would be nice to talk to someone who understands that.
    It is good that you are recognizing these patterns and taking steps to address them!
  3. Like
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from WishMeSmaller in The longest plateau ever   
    Hello. I haven’t posted in awhile since I expressed some issues I was having with my personal life. I’m starting to move from what felt like a 4-5 month plateau. I think a few things happened to make me hit a plateau. The biggest one was Christmas and eating Desserts. I discovered that while I had poor tolerance for food my stomach pouch was able to tolerate chocolate and ice cream treats. I have not gained weight but I did not lose either. I’m starting to lose again because I gradually have been increasing my exercise, increasing Water intake and working on my sugar addiction every day. I’m listening to podcasts on sugar addiction as well as reading books on the subject. I’m still susceptible to eating sweets but I am staying aware of what I am doing instead of just blinding myself to the pull of sugar. This is not as easy as I thought it would be although I am glad I lost around 57 pounds since August. I’m going to try every single day to take care of myself. It’s not what I am used to doing but I can see that paying attention to myself will make me get better. I did this for me. I did this so I could have a better life and not be stuck in a bed or on a recliner waiting for the next meal. I have to reclaim my time like they do on the floor of Congress. 😆

  4. Like
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from WishMeSmaller in The longest plateau ever   
    Hello. I haven’t posted in awhile since I expressed some issues I was having with my personal life. I’m starting to move from what felt like a 4-5 month plateau. I think a few things happened to make me hit a plateau. The biggest one was Christmas and eating Desserts. I discovered that while I had poor tolerance for food my stomach pouch was able to tolerate chocolate and ice cream treats. I have not gained weight but I did not lose either. I’m starting to lose again because I gradually have been increasing my exercise, increasing Water intake and working on my sugar addiction every day. I’m listening to podcasts on sugar addiction as well as reading books on the subject. I’m still susceptible to eating sweets but I am staying aware of what I am doing instead of just blinding myself to the pull of sugar. This is not as easy as I thought it would be although I am glad I lost around 57 pounds since August. I’m going to try every single day to take care of myself. It’s not what I am used to doing but I can see that paying attention to myself will make me get better. I did this for me. I did this so I could have a better life and not be stuck in a bed or on a recliner waiting for the next meal. I have to reclaim my time like they do on the floor of Congress. 😆

  5. Haha
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from Glorious Release in Things I won't miss about being fat!   
    I won’t miss “losing” the remote and then finding it under me when I stand up.
  6. Like
    perfektlynrml reacted to BlueEyedAngel28 in Gastric Bypass Oct 2017 (PICS)   
    232lbs to 150lbs feeling confident n Beautiful [emoji7][emoji3059][emoji3059][emoji3059]          
    Sent from my SM-G975U1 using BariatricPal mobile app
  7. Sad
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from Velvet Anne in Help! Ate too much! Pain in the middle.   
    I'm in the hospital. My symptoms became much worse after my post. They did a cat scan and I have a blockage. They gave me morphine and zofran. It fel better until they needed me ri drink contrast solution. The pain came back and I was given more morphine. I ended up having a severe panic attack and they medicated me for that. I'm just waiting for my do for to tell me how they will proceed from here.

    Sent from my SM-A102U using BariatricPal mobile app

  8. Like
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from qianmij in Almost six months post op   
    Hi there. I am reaching the six month mark post op RYGB. I really struggled with a long period of a stall since early December. I did lose my way with eating over that period of time but I have been doing better over the last two weeks. I decided to stop eating sugar free pudding, coconut ice milk, Mac and cheese cups and crackers with hummus. I’ve been eating whole grains such as farro and sorghum made in a porridge with almond milk, blueberries, vanilla and cinnamon. I used a Splenda/ brown sugar combination to sweeten the porridge with 1 tablespoon of maple Syrup. The sorghum porridge is very filling and very high in Fiber. I’ve been eating lots of poached fish. So far I am making tilapia or mahi mahi. Still not able to tolerate chicken and I am considering giving up meats all together. I order an instant pot and I am going to start making plant based meals. I haven’t weighed myself but I see a change in my overall shape. I’m confident that my weight will continue to drop as long as I am eating the right foods.
  9. Like
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from qianmij in Almost six months post op   
    Hi there. I am reaching the six month mark post op RYGB. I really struggled with a long period of a stall since early December. I did lose my way with eating over that period of time but I have been doing better over the last two weeks. I decided to stop eating sugar free pudding, coconut ice milk, Mac and cheese cups and crackers with hummus. I’ve been eating whole grains such as farro and sorghum made in a porridge with almond milk, blueberries, vanilla and cinnamon. I used a Splenda/ brown sugar combination to sweeten the porridge with 1 tablespoon of maple Syrup. The sorghum porridge is very filling and very high in Fiber. I’ve been eating lots of poached fish. So far I am making tilapia or mahi mahi. Still not able to tolerate chicken and I am considering giving up meats all together. I order an instant pot and I am going to start making plant based meals. I haven’t weighed myself but I see a change in my overall shape. I’m confident that my weight will continue to drop as long as I am eating the right foods.
  10. Like
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from qianmij in Almost six months post op   
    Hi there. I am reaching the six month mark post op RYGB. I really struggled with a long period of a stall since early December. I did lose my way with eating over that period of time but I have been doing better over the last two weeks. I decided to stop eating sugar free pudding, coconut ice milk, Mac and cheese cups and crackers with hummus. I’ve been eating whole grains such as farro and sorghum made in a porridge with almond milk, blueberries, vanilla and cinnamon. I used a Splenda/ brown sugar combination to sweeten the porridge with 1 tablespoon of maple Syrup. The sorghum porridge is very filling and very high in Fiber. I’ve been eating lots of poached fish. So far I am making tilapia or mahi mahi. Still not able to tolerate chicken and I am considering giving up meats all together. I order an instant pot and I am going to start making plant based meals. I haven’t weighed myself but I see a change in my overall shape. I’m confident that my weight will continue to drop as long as I am eating the right foods.
  11. Haha
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from Glorious Release in Things I won't miss about being fat!   
    I won’t miss “losing” the remote and then finding it under me when I stand up.
  12. Like
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from GreenTealael in Fell off track 8 months post opp.   
    I’m about 6 months out and having the same issues. My doctor approved of me having two Protein Drinks a day. I’m having one meal at night which typically includes fish. I stopped buying any crackers and sugar free pudding which I was eating with a crumbled graham cracker and whipped cream every night. I’m starting a new snack tonight with a high Fiber, high Protein grain called farro. It’s a porridge made with almond milk. I think it’s hard to not return to our favorite foods but we have to put a little creativity and have a spirit of curiosity so we can find things that don’t have the empty calories. We have to make what we eat in terms of nutritional value matter because we are losing nutrients due to the procedure itself.
  13. Like
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from GreenTealael in Fell off track 8 months post opp.   
    I’m about 6 months out and having the same issues. My doctor approved of me having two Protein Drinks a day. I’m having one meal at night which typically includes fish. I stopped buying any crackers and sugar free pudding which I was eating with a crumbled graham cracker and whipped cream every night. I’m starting a new snack tonight with a high Fiber, high Protein grain called farro. It’s a porridge made with almond milk. I think it’s hard to not return to our favorite foods but we have to put a little creativity and have a spirit of curiosity so we can find things that don’t have the empty calories. We have to make what we eat in terms of nutritional value matter because we are losing nutrients due to the procedure itself.
  14. Hugs
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from ksgypsy in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    I have really lost control over the past month. I’ve been snacking on junk and I find myself eating at night, Something so awful happened last month that made me very depressed and anxious. I had decided to do the surgery last summer because I was about to become a grandmother for the first time. Well my grand baby was born but he didn’t make it. Now my daughter is devastated and I feel so empty. I got to hold him before he passed away but I wanted to scream when he died but I just held it all in. I had to stay calm for my daughter. I’m scared of hurting myself with food but I have such a strong impulse to pick every few hours. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry if this post is upsetting but I had to let this out.
  15. Hugs
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from WishMeSmaller in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    I wanted to say thank you again for the supportive comments. I did better yesterday and my appointment to follow up with the doctor is this morning. I’m definitely going to ask for help. In the meantime I went back a step to using the Premier Protein shakes and then a salad a day with a small Protein based meal at night. Until I get my head straight I want to reduce the amount of food choices I need to make. I realize that over the past month I have been failing to get adequate protein and eating a greater proportion of starches. My weight is exactly the same but I have been very lethargic during the day. I also journaled day and night yesterday. I was a bit amused by the fact that I had so much to say in my journal. I hardly realized how angry and upset I was. It wasn’t until I started that all the words came pouring out. I will say one thing... I probably would have binged on food if not for the fact that my stomach is still relatively small. In a way having the procedure is forcing me to deal with my emotions rather then eating them into oblivion.
  16. Hugs
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from ksgypsy in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    I have really lost control over the past month. I’ve been snacking on junk and I find myself eating at night, Something so awful happened last month that made me very depressed and anxious. I had decided to do the surgery last summer because I was about to become a grandmother for the first time. Well my grand baby was born but he didn’t make it. Now my daughter is devastated and I feel so empty. I got to hold him before he passed away but I wanted to scream when he died but I just held it all in. I had to stay calm for my daughter. I’m scared of hurting myself with food but I have such a strong impulse to pick every few hours. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry if this post is upsetting but I had to let this out.
  17. Hugs
    perfektlynrml got a reaction from WishMeSmaller in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    I wanted to say thank you again for the supportive comments. I did better yesterday and my appointment to follow up with the doctor is this morning. I’m definitely going to ask for help. In the meantime I went back a step to using the Premier Protein shakes and then a salad a day with a small Protein based meal at night. Until I get my head straight I want to reduce the amount of food choices I need to make. I realize that over the past month I have been failing to get adequate protein and eating a greater proportion of starches. My weight is exactly the same but I have been very lethargic during the day. I also journaled day and night yesterday. I was a bit amused by the fact that I had so much to say in my journal. I hardly realized how angry and upset I was. It wasn’t until I started that all the words came pouring out. I will say one thing... I probably would have binged on food if not for the fact that my stomach is still relatively small. In a way having the procedure is forcing me to deal with my emotions rather then eating them into oblivion.
  18. Like
    perfektlynrml reacted to Sosewsue61 in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    I am glad you are taking steps to help yourself. I am sorry for your loss, and I know how much your heart aches for your daughter, she should go to counseling as well. If you need to vent on here please do that. If you need to cry I suggest the shower, or your car. You do need to grieve, that is very important to do that. I am sending a big virtual hug.
    I could write a novel here on my own experience, both with a full term neonatal death and a granddaughter that died of SIDS at 18 months. If you want to message me please do.
  19. Like
    perfektlynrml reacted to TreeTrunks in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    No words can describe how sorry I am for your family's loss. My heart goes out to you.
  20. Like
    perfektlynrml reacted to GreenTealael in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    Condolences to you and your daughter on your loss.
  21. Like
    perfektlynrml reacted to WishMeSmaller in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    So very sorry for your loss 😢 💕
  22. Like
    perfektlynrml reacted to GradyCat in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandbaby. Your surgeon's office has a counselor on staff and you could talk to him/her about it and how it triggers your eating. They should be able to help.
  23. Like
    perfektlynrml reacted to ChubRub in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    I am so very sorry!!! I lost a child at birth 14 years ago, and I put on a lot of weight from that point forward. I spent some time at Children's Hospital before and after his birth, and my husband and I would say that you could tell who the family members of patients were based on what they were eating in the cafeteria. The employees would eat salads and sandwiches, while the family member dove head first into comfort food - pizza, burgers, etc.
    I spend a lot of time crying in bed with my head under the covers. I can say that with time, it does get easier. I can only imagine how much harder this was being around the holidays.
    Try not to let your grief ruin your body with unhealthy eating. Let that be the one thing you take back control of. Yes you will still have your crying moments, and times of profound grief when suddenly it hits you even harder than it hit you just minutes earlier. Think of ways you can honor your grandchild's memory, and let your health be one of those way.
    Sending a million hugs!! Feel free to private message me any time!!!
  24. Like
    perfektlynrml reacted to Mr Alley Gator in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    Sorry for the pain you are going thru. You need to focus on yourself health so you can be there for those who need you at these hard times. As a Parent I feel for you and can only suggest you stay healthy so you can be strong and there for you children.
  25. Like
    perfektlynrml reacted to GreeneGal in Losing control (sadness over major loss)   
    This is my very first post on the forum so I'm not sure what I'm doing,
    First, I'm so very sorry about the loss of your grandchild. What a devastating loss for your whole family.
    In doing a quick search, I came across a website that looks reputable that helps people with miscarriages', stillbirth and early infant death. https://www.tommys.org/
    You have taken the first step by reaching out for help. I would call my physician for help with the depression.
    Do you have a clergy person who might help with grief support? Perhaps the hospital has a group? A close friend or family member?
    Secondly, reach out to your surgeon's office for diet support. You have to take care of yourself in order to help your daughter.
    I wish I had some words to take away your pain. Please be gentle and kind to yourself as you navigate through this.
    HUGS
    GreeneGal
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