blackcatsandbaddecisions

One-derland!

4/16 was the one year anniversary of my first appointment with my surgeon! It ended up being a zoom appointment since Covid had just started. I ended up with surgery on 11/10 and I’m 122 lbs lighter today than I was a year ago.

Honestly the six month process seems so long but it flies by! Then suddenly they are scheduling your surgery and it’s like wait...this is actually happening!? I’m still losing at 5 months out, with another 52 lbs to go to goal. My best advice is
1. Start losing in the six month preop time unless it would impact insurance eligibility. Every pound lost now is a pound you don’t have to lose after surgery.
2. Start dealing with any food issues you can early on- surgery will force you to cold-turkey some of them like binging or eating nonstop sugar, but dealing with the mental side of that at the same time as surgery recovery would be tough.
3. Prepare yourself to rebuy an entire wardrobe. I was excited about the thought of it until I realized things like I had to buy all new underwear and bras and everything else, not just cute and fun stuff. And it’s expensive!
4. Your mileage may vary, but this is the best present I’ve ever given myself. It’s amazing to be able to free yourself from a lifelong problem that affects every part of your life. Where you are a year from now is going to be incredible.

4/16 was the one year anniversary of my first appointment with my surgeon! It ended up being a zoom appointment since Covid had just started. I ended up with surgery on 11/10 and I’m 122 lbs lighter today than I was a year ago.

Honestly the six month process seems so long but it flies by! Then suddenly they are scheduling your surgery and it’s like wait...this is actually happening!? I’m still losing at 5 months out, with another 52 lbs to go to goal. My best advice is
1. Start losing in the six month preop time unless it would impact insurance eligibility. Every pound lost now is a pound you don’t have to lose after surgery.
2. Start dealing with any food issues you can early on- surgery will force you to cold-turkey some of them like binging or eating nonstop sugar, but dealing with the mental side of that at the same time as surgery recovery would be tough.
3. Prepare yourself to rebuy an entire wardrobe. I was excited about the thought of it until I realized things like I had to buy all new underwear and bras and everything else, not just cute and fun stuff. And it’s expensive!
4. Your mileage may vary, but this is the best present I’ve ever given myself. It’s amazing to be able to free yourself from a lifelong problem that affects every part of your life. Where you are a year from now is going to be incredible.

I have like four more months and I'm getting so antsy. I just want to get to the "pounds melting off" stage! Welcome!
I'm already feeling like I wish I had done this ten years ago but I know I wasn't ready. At the same time I'm still super nervous.
Here's hoping these next few months are successful and quick for all of us!

Yea the men tend to lose weight faster too so don’t get discouraged.

Thanks for the kind welcome, @BigSue. Yeah, right now 6 months feels like a long time away! My husband and I are doing this together, and he just had his first visit with the surgeon today, who told him not to lose too much weight beforehand. Gee, no one told ME that! 🤨 I can already tell that this is going to be a very different process for each of us.

Welcome! This forum is a great resource and has been tons of help to me as I've gone through the process. Feel free to ask questions that come up along the way.
When I started the process, it seemed like surgery was an eternity away, but by the time I got to surgery day, it felt like the time had flown by and I wasn't ready!

I've been lurking here for a few weeks and figured it's time to introduce myself and say hi. I'm ONE DAY into my 6-months-of-weight-loss-program-before-surgery-gets approved plan. We're currently thinking sleeve unless the endoscopy next month says we shouldn't. I'm really grateful for all of the great info here!

I HIT GOAL, you guys!!!! I am so excited and loving life! 😍VALIDATE ME, VALIDATE ME, VALIDATE ME! 😁 102 total lbs lost:)

Well, I’m about your age and I’m getting close to finding out. I started off at 340 and I’m currently 217. I have about 50 lbs to go to goal. So far I don’t have any loose skin, so it was encouraging that I could lose over 100 lbs without that. In the end it’s always removable, or more likely I’ll just live with it. At this point in my life I don’t really care about swimsuits and flat stomachs.

Brawndo -- it's what plants crave!

Here is an abstract of a study from 2014.
In short, ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL (including total number of calories consumed) the study showed that there is no difference in calories burned over 24 hours between breakfast eaters and skippers.
So if u’r hungry, eat, if you’re not, don’t. Just keep total calories the same, either way.

I can't speak to post-bariatric surgery specifically, but the latest research for the general community is that people should only eat breakfast if they are inclined to eat breakfast. If people who are not generally breakfast eaters start eating breakfast, the latest studies show they will eat more calories throughout the day, whereas the reverse is true for people who are naturally inclined to eat breakfast. If "natural breakfast eaters" skip breakfast, they will compensate by overeating later in the day.
No, I do not have the citation for this study, I read this a number of years ago but read that there were a number of similar findings from other studies. And I don't recall this being tested in bariatric surgery patients or people with diabetes, etc.

So my marriage is a lot shorter than some here (15 years) but in my experience trying to avoid an argument only works when the thing you are ignoring is kinda petty and you’re overreacting. Like, it vaguely pisses me off that my husband keeps moving the damn bath mat, and that he wears his dirty work shoes on the carpet. But I let it go because at the end of the day, it’s not that big of a deal. If he said something about me in front of someone else that I felt was inappropriate? Oh, he’d be hearing it. But I tend to be a pretty assertive person in general, both before and after weight loss.

OP, I applaud you for fighting for your marriage. I recommend however that you fight for a marriage that will make you happy and will work long term. You can’t fight for a marriage that involves you hiding all your feelings and feeling uncomfortable with the person you are sharing your life with.

My husband has definitely called me on some shit I’ve said over the years. Did I always agree that he should feel the way he did? No, but it’s not about me agreeing with his feelings, it’s me acknowledging that he does feel that way and me deciding to not do that again because I love him and I don’t want to make him unhappy.

I have just gotten a cup of Soup or an appetizer. Not interested in bothering a waiter with details of my surgery, plus I echo others sentiments that the kids menu is usually fried or bland garbage.

I worked food service in the (distant) past, and I agree that so long as I think the person wasn’t gonna complain about me, I could not care less how much of their meal they ate. Leave a tip, don’t leave a mess, and the waitstaff will be happy with you every day of the week.

I wanted to stop having daily concerns about things like how I would fit into a chair at work, not being able to play with my kids, feeling exhausted and like every move was like running a marathon. I didn’t feel like how I looked matched how I felt- I didn’t even feel like myself anymore.

I wanted to be able to exercise again. To have some control over my endless cravings. To fit into clothes that I actually liked. To not feel like I never wanted anyone to see me because the first thing they would think is about how fat I was. To know that I can’t fit on an airline seat, when traveling was one of my greatest passions in life.

Four months in and I have no regrets. I’m 110 down, and getting closer to just being “overweight”. To go from a 48 BMI to 33 feels amazing in every way.

5 months! I doubt that many if any people are reading this, but I want to keep this as my first year record regardless. And if anyone is reading this, I’ll be checking in every month!
Current weight- 217.8. I lost 12.6 lbs last month, and I’m fully back into my wedding ring set. I have for sure bought too many clothes. I am at least trying to get them second had, but still it’s impossible to think about actually being below an xl. I’m starting to buy a L in some styles like sweaters. I’ve sold pretty much my entire old wardrobe, but having to get all new bras, underwear, etc is quite expensive.
I’ve been doing great with rowing, still being lazy with running. Exercise is clearly needed at this stage to keep the weight loss going. I still have 52 lbs to go to goal!

Non scale victories this month- I was able to volunteer for an all day vaccine clinic where I was walking nonstop and my feet didn’t hurt and I wasn’t exhausted after. I can cross my legs when I sit down! My jawline is back, and I only have one chin. My legs feel muscular and I have biceps! People are commenting nonstop on my weight (and to be honest I’m kind of over it) and I have a ton of new clothes that I’m excited to wear.

This next month, I’m looking forward to (hopefully!) losing another 12 lbs, which would get me within a handful of pounds of being OVERWEIGHT! I know I say it every month, but I gotta start running to get some cardio in as well. It’s crazy to think that 5 months ago I had checked into the hospital by now and was waiting for surgery. July 5 marks my one year of dieting- I won’t be at goal by then, but I’ll hopefully be close.

I wish we could target where we put on weight. I'd funnel it all to my a$$.

I get that low carb is very polarized right now- I will say my 4 month pre-op diet was low carb, and it worked to get weight off prior to surgery. It was never intended to be long term, but I recognized I had a serious problem with limiting intake of carbs and particularly sugar. I also needed to drop weight so I could be healthier for surgery, since I was close to a 50 BMI. Low carb diets can be effective. I’m sure some people can maintain them long term because that’s how they like to eat. Me, I’m enjoying using Portion Control now and having fruit and vegetables again. Doing a short term “unsustainable” diet did not ruin my life, I’m not wildly binging out of control now or starving myself.

Some short, older, sedentary people will have very low calorie needs. I don’t think any of us are in a place to judge someone. I have to remind myself sometimes that I am almost a foot taller than some women on these forums, so of course my food intake doesn’t look like theirs. There are also 20 something very tall men here who exercise every day. I wish I could compare myself to them, but no dice!

Everyone here is on their own journey and we are all going to need to find what works for us. Let’s leave the person alone who wants to eat carbs and enjoy them, but similarly if someone wants to go low carb, that’s their own business.

I get that low carb is very polarized right now- I will say my 4 month pre-op diet was low carb, and it worked to get weight off prior to surgery. It was never intended to be long term, but I recognized I had a serious problem with limiting intake of carbs and particularly sugar. I also needed to drop weight so I could be healthier for surgery, since I was close to a 50 BMI. Low carb diets can be effective. I’m sure some people can maintain them long term because that’s how they like to eat. Me, I’m enjoying using Portion Control now and having fruit and vegetables again. Doing a short term “unsustainable” diet did not ruin my life, I’m not wildly binging out of control now or starving myself.

Some short, older, sedentary people will have very low calorie needs. I don’t think any of us are in a place to judge someone. I have to remind myself sometimes that I am almost a foot taller than some women on these forums, so of course my food intake doesn’t look like theirs. There are also 20 something very tall men here who exercise every day. I wish I could compare myself to them, but no dice!

Everyone here is on their own journey and we are all going to need to find what works for us. Let’s leave the person alone who wants to eat carbs and enjoy them, but similarly if someone wants to go low carb, that’s their own business.

I'm a month out and none of my family knows outside of my husband and son. Only a few friends and co-workers know. I regard it as none of anyone's business and my mother will just take it personally as failed parenting (I'm 48) and I refuse to coddle my mother's neuroses anymore. She's great, but she takes any failure of mine as a reflection of her failure to be a better parent.

I find myself in this category (even though I am not sedentary - I walk 1.5 miles per day and strength train 3 times per week). But I am short, and older, in the normal BMI range now, and I've spent a lifetime doing on-again, off-again dieting. Far from being a starvation diet, I am maintaining on 1000 calories per day. I was lucky that my body found its own equilibrium, when I eat whenever I'm hungry (but eating good food, not junk), it naturally adds up to about 1000 calories and that's what I need to maintain.

So my marriage is a lot shorter than some here (15 years) but in my experience trying to avoid an argument only works when the thing you are ignoring is kinda petty and you’re overreacting. Like, it vaguely pisses me off that my husband keeps moving the damn bath mat, and that he wears his dirty work shoes on the carpet. But I let it go because at the end of the day, it’s not that big of a deal. If he said something about me in front of someone else that I felt was inappropriate? Oh, he’d be hearing it. But I tend to be a pretty assertive person in general, both before and after weight loss.

OP, I applaud you for fighting for your marriage. I recommend however that you fight for a marriage that will make you happy and will work long term. You can’t fight for a marriage that involves you hiding all your feelings and feeling uncomfortable with the person you are sharing your life with.

My husband has definitely called me on some shit I’ve said over the years. Did I always agree that he should feel the way he did? No, but it’s not about me agreeing with his feelings, it’s me acknowledging that he does feel that way and me deciding to not do that again because I love him and I don’t want to make him unhappy.

I get that low carb is very polarized right now- I will say my 4 month pre-op diet was low carb, and it worked to get weight off prior to surgery. It was never intended to be long term, but I recognized I had a serious problem with limiting intake of carbs and particularly sugar. I also needed to drop weight so I could be healthier for surgery, since I was close to a 50 BMI. Low carb diets can be effective. I’m sure some people can maintain them long term because that’s how they like to eat. Me, I’m enjoying using Portion Control now and having fruit and vegetables again. Doing a short term “unsustainable” diet did not ruin my life, I’m not wildly binging out of control now or starving myself.

Some short, older, sedentary people will have very low calorie needs. I don’t think any of us are in a place to judge someone. I have to remind myself sometimes that I am almost a foot taller than some women on these forums, so of course my food intake doesn’t look like theirs. There are also 20 something very tall men here who exercise every day. I wish I could compare myself to them, but no dice!

Everyone here is on their own journey and we are all going to need to find what works for us. Let’s leave the person alone who wants to eat carbs and enjoy them, but similarly if someone wants to go low carb, that’s their own business.

I get that low carb is very polarized right now- I will say my 4 month pre-op diet was low carb, and it worked to get weight off prior to surgery. It was never intended to be long term, but I recognized I had a serious problem with limiting intake of carbs and particularly sugar. I also needed to drop weight so I could be healthier for surgery, since I was close to a 50 BMI. Low carb diets can be effective. I’m sure some people can maintain them long term because that’s how they like to eat. Me, I’m enjoying using Portion Control now and having fruit and vegetables again. Doing a short term “unsustainable” diet did not ruin my life, I’m not wildly binging out of control now or starving myself.

Some short, older, sedentary people will have very low calorie needs. I don’t think any of us are in a place to judge someone. I have to remind myself sometimes that I am almost a foot taller than some women on these forums, so of course my food intake doesn’t look like theirs. There are also 20 something very tall men here who exercise every day. I wish I could compare myself to them, but no dice!

Everyone here is on their own journey and we are all going to need to find what works for us. Let’s leave the person alone who wants to eat carbs and enjoy them, but similarly if someone wants to go low carb, that’s their own business.