Jerseytammy

Oh I cant wait for the day........so jealous and CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

March 23 Tomorrow is my first fill and I am very neverous. I have to be at the hosiptal at 7:05 am, ughhhh! I have had no restriction up until now and have been eating the same as always. I have read all the threads here and some are rather scarey. I have a huge fear of vomiting so the thought of "pbing" isnt too appealing to me. But thats the plan right? This a tool, a powerful tool to someone like me. I have so many thoughts going through my head right now it is hard to concentrate on work or even to write this. So I think I will go for now, try to forget about it for now. Oh and dont think for one minute I havent already thought about what resturant I am going to tonight as a last "meal" kinda thing. Funny how old habits die hard!

March 23 Tomorrow is my first fill and I am very neverous. I have to be at the hosiptal at 7:05 am, ughhhh! I have had no restriction up until now and have been eating the same as always. I have read all the threads here and some are rather scarey. I have a huge fear of vomiting so the thought of "pbing" isnt too appealing to me. But thats the plan right? This a tool, a powerful tool to someone like me. I have so many thoughts going through my head right now it is hard to concentrate on work or even to write this. So I think I will go for now, try to forget about it for now. Oh and dont think for one minute I havent already thought about what resturant I am going to tonight as a last "meal" kinda thing. Funny how old habits die hard!

Side-ways Sal??

Ok I have mixed feelings about this thread, I tend to think if she doesnt want to come right out and tell people what she had done who are we to criticize her decision. I mean I didnt want to tell my in-laws cause I felt like it was none of their business, doesnt she have the same right, even if she is in the spot light? Does every "fat" actress owe us details if they lose weight? Oprah had no problem with telling the world and she made millions on it, I think I am on Star's side on this one. This is her personal very private matter (weight lost), I just hope no one says I looked better fat if I manage to lose my weight. Here is something I read today on her......... March 21, 2006 Did Star Jones' bid for a firmer bod nearly end her life? The National Enquirer claims the "View" co-host, who has dropped more than 150 pounds over the last two-plus years, "almost died" late last week when she went under the knife for a breast lift. Star reportedly suffered complications hours after the elective surgery, including internal bleeding and a near heart attack, and was rushed to Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica. "Nurses saw her blood counts were dropping and she was going into shock. She was trembling and shaking uncontrollably," an insider tells the tab. "An ambulance was called and Star was rushed to Saint John's ER where she began blood transfusions to save her life. She lost close to half of her own blood and was in serious danger of going into cardiac arrest." On Monday, Star was sufficiently recovered from her "life-and-death drama" to be transferred to an exclusive private clinic that specializes in post-op plastic surgery patients. "She had an elective breast lift procedure. Star is recovering wonderfully," her spokesman tells the Enquirer (he denies In Touch's claim that she also underwent a tummy tuck "to remove excess skin"). So far there's no word on whether Mrs. Al Reynolds will be out of the hospital in time to celebrate her 44th birthday on March 24 -- or if her hubby will be by her side. Surprisingly enough, Al, the man Star has described as having "skin the color of cooked butter" and "the legs of a stallion" (they also have "an intoxicatingly sexual connection," which you didn't really need to know but why should we suffer alone with that knowledge), stayed behind in New York while she had the surgery. And in an unfortunate coincidence, he ended up in the hospital on the same day as his wife. Both In Touch and the Enquirer report that Al was rushed to the ER after he cut open his noggin when he fell during a workout at a New York gym. "He was taken to the emergency room where doctors administered several stitches," explains Star's rep to In Touch, adding to the Enquirer, "The doctors kept Mr. Reynolds overnight for observation. He is recovering and in good spirits." Star, by the by, has declined to give details on how she dropped her excess poundage, although she told People back in January the process was helped along by a "medical intervention" (most bets are on gastric bypass). "I will not be the poster child for a particular method," she explained. "Only your doctor can tell you what will work for you."

wow coming from a woman that has been married, more than once..... Great thread. thanks

Ok ya'll look what I just read......... March 21, 2006 Did Star Jones' bid for a firmer bod nearly end her life? "View" co-host, who has dropped more than 150 pounds over the last two-plus years, "almost died" late last week when she went under the knife for a breast lift. Star reportedly suffered complications hours after the elective surgery, including internal bleeding and a near heart attack, and was rushed to Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica. "Nurses saw her blood counts were dropping and she was going into shock. She was trembling and shaking uncontrollably," an insider tells the tab. "An ambulance was called and Star was rushed to Saint John's ER where she began blood transfusions to save her life. She lost close to half of her own blood and was in serious danger of going into cardiac arrest." On Monday, Star was sufficiently recovered from her "life-and-death drama" to be transferred to an exclusive private clinic that specializes in post-op plastic surgery patients. "She had an elective breast lift procedure. Star is recovering wonderfully," her spokesman tells the Enquirer (he denies In Touch's claim that she also underwent a tummy tuck "to remove excess skin"). So far there's word on whether Mrs. Al Reynolds will be out of the hospital in time to celebrate her 44th birthday on March 24 -- or if her hubby will be by her side. Surprisingly enough, Al, the man Star has described as having "skin the color of cooked butter" and "the legs of a stallion" (they also have "an intoxicatingly sexual connection," which you didn't really need to know but why should we suffer alone with that knowledge), stayed behind in New York while she had the surgery. And in an unfortunate coincidence, he ended up in the hospital on the same day as his wife. Both In Touch and the Enquirer report that Al was rushed to the ER after he cut open his noggin when he fell during a workout at a New York gym. "He was taken to the emergency room where doctors administered several stitches," explains Star's rep to In Touch, adding to the Enquirer, "The doctors kept Mr. Reynolds overnight for observation. He is recovering and in good spirits." Star, by the by, has declined to give details on how she dropped her excess poundage, although she told People back in January the process was helped along by a "medical intervention" (most bets are on gastric bypass). "I will not be the poster child for a particular method," she explained. "Only your doctor can tell you what will work for you." Just reminds me how serious this all is.

Ok ya'll maybe I am strange but I just went to my surgeron's web site to their BMI calculator to see how much weight I have to lose to get out of the MB category. Ok it was depressing, I dont recommend anyone doing it. I go for my first fill on Friday. Wish me luck, I need some restriction, I have none right now. I was banded on Feb 8, did great until I started eating again. I have to admit, I am scared to death! This is a whole new way of life and I am scared of failure. I feel like this is my last chance!

I am glad to see every one doing so well, congrats on your first fill Janet/Mikey, I go for my first fill on Friday. Not one minute too soon, I can eat like I have no band at all. I am neverous but its time for me to start my journey towards good health. Update on my niece, my sister has taken her to talk to someone and they have informed the school. The staff at the school are keeping an eye on her to make sure she is eating and not going to the bathroom to bring it back up. Thanks to everyone for all your prayers and support, my family has a long way to go still. Ok now for some good news, I had a major NSV. My hubby got floors seats to see the Nets play this weekend. Now if you dont know I have to take a wheelchair to the grocery store or to the mall due to backpain from walking. When he told me I had mixed feelings, I wanted to go but the walking from the parking lot and then finding the seat and the stairsssss ughhhhhhhhhh. I am HAPPY to report not only did we go but I walked the entire way, never having to stop and rest, and had a wonderful day with my husband. Now my legs are sore as carp but I faced my fears and won! I think I will try the grocery store this weekend on my feet, wish me luck, I'll let ya'll know how I do.

Diane Please let us know, your in our prayers!

71% (Dixie). That is a pretty strong Southern score! Southern born and southern feed!!!!

Oh guess where I went this weekend? My husband and I were given floor seats to see the Nets. I cant tell you how excited I was, not that I am a big basketball fan but I have never been to a professional game and to have floor seats!!!!! The game was great, we won, and sitting just 3 rows up from us Jayz and Beyonce'. I didnt know he was the owner, well part owner, of the Nets. I got some pictures on my camera phone for my girls. So here is where it stopped being fun, my husband started taking pictures with his cell phone, so he said honey look at me and smile. Ok I had spent an hour getting ready and even bought a new shirt for this game, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had walked all the way from the parking lot to the seats, now u may think that isnt a big deal but coming from a woman that has to take a wheel chair to the grocery store it was huge for me, and the stairs too, plus I did it without getting too winded or my back killing me. So my husband takes the pic, he comments that it is a good picture, so i wanted to see it, man oh man I wished i hadnt looked, I am not sure what I was expecting but all I saw was this huge fat woman looking back at me. Well that is all I could think about for the rest of the game. I kept pulling on my shirt as to not show my tummy roll to any one. We got something to eat at the game, i got chicken fingers, hubby got a cheese burger and fries. I couldnt even finish my meal, all I kept thinking is people looking at me thinking she dont need to be eating. I ended up handing my chicken to my husband. Oh it gets worse, I am still hungry so I try and fight it off by drinking water. Then 20 minutes later I have to use the bathroom but do you think I want to walk in front of all them people up a flight of steps, NOOOOOO. So i sit there and hold it the rest of the game. I am too ashamed to walk up the steps in front of people and too scared that I may have to stop to rest and embarrass my self even more, I was miserable! When I say my weight effects every thing in my life I mean it, there is not one day that my weight doesnt seem to cause a problem for me. Lord grant me the strenght to use this tool you have blessed me with, I cant do it without you!

Oh guess where I went this weekend? My husband and I were given floor seats to see the Nets. I cant tell you how excited I was, not that I am a big basketball fan but I have never been to a professional game and to have floor seats!!!!! The game was great, we won, and sitting just 3 rows up from us Jayz and Beyonce'. I didnt know he was the owner, well part owner, of the Nets. I got some pictures on my camera phone for my girls. So here is where it stopped being fun, my husband started taking pictures with his cell phone, so he said honey look at me and smile. Ok I had spent an hour getting ready and even bought a new shirt for this game, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had walked all the way from the parking lot to the seats, now u may think that isnt a big deal but coming from a woman that has to take a wheel chair to the grocery store it was huge for me, and the stairs too, plus I did it without getting too winded or my back killing me. So my husband takes the pic, he comments that it is a good picture, so i wanted to see it, man oh man I wished i hadnt looked, I am not sure what I was expecting but all I saw was this huge fat woman looking back at me. Well that is all I could think about for the rest of the game. I kept pulling on my shirt as to not show my tummy roll to any one. We got something to eat at the game, i got chicken fingers, hubby got a cheese burger and fries. I couldnt even finish my meal, all I kept thinking is people looking at me thinking she dont need to be eating. I ended up handing my chicken to my husband. Oh it gets worse, I am still hungry so I try and fight it off by drinking water. Then 20 minutes later I have to use the bathroom but do you think I want to walk in front of all them people up a flight of steps, NOOOOOO. So i sit there and hold it the rest of the game. I am too ashamed to walk up the steps in front of people and too scared that I may have to stop to rest and embarrass my self even more, I was miserable! When I say my weight effects every thing in my life I mean it, there is not one day that my weight doesnt seem to cause a problem for me. Lord grant me the strenght to use this tool you have blessed me with, I cant do it without you!

Well I didnt get to talk to my sister last night, but I did talk to my Mom some more. But more surprising was how upset my oldest child was (18, senior in hs), she was in crying and very mad. She was mad at the situation and that Anesha would do something like that. I tried to explain to her why girls do things like that but I am scared I didnt make it pass her anger. She doesnt want me to tell her two little sisters. She is scared they might get the same idea, she kept asking me if Anesha knew what she was doing could kill her. Mom said Anesha is very ashamed and doesnt want people to know. It would be hard for any of us to talk to her. We did learn that some girls had been making fun of her telling her that she was fat and that she would end up looking like her Mom. I am telling ya'll the child is 5'5 and wore a size 7/8, she was no where near fat!!! I do know that my sister has set her up with someone who deals with this kind of thing in kids. Apparently there is a whole group of girls that are doing the same thing. I am not sure what my sister has done as far as telling the school yet, I think she is waiting to talk to the specialist to see what she recommends. Thanks again for all the suport and prayers, like I said you never know who you are blessing. I cant help but think how truly cruel people are to people with a weight problem. Have a Great WEEKEND ALL!!!!!!!!

Im in and u have my full support for a super-sized bandsters.

Thanks for all the feed back ya'll, I dread talking to my sister tonight. I know what it is going to be, Mom did the same thing to us. See my Mom is 126 soaking wet, size 5/6, My sis and I are both MB. The family blames it alot of us lossing our dad when I was 12 and she was 9, being abused my a step-mother, and lossing our grandmother to whom we had become very close to after the death of our father just 2 years later. Geesh ya'll what a flood of emotions. I know my Mom meant well but everytime she "complained and whined" about our weight we just ate more. I have three girls and all of them are over weight, funny I have a whole list of reason why they are over weight too. Does the cycle ever end? Thanks for all the advice on counselling I will make sure to pass it along to her tonight, this isnt going to be easy, it is bring up alot of issues that we would all just assume forget about. One more thing before I sign out, any other time I would have went to the vending machine for something chocolate to help ease the pain of this news, and felt guilty the whole time I was eating it, but not today, I signed on here pulled my heart out and got back to work, thanks for taking the time to respond all, you never know who you are blessing.

Good Morning all, **deep breath** My mom called me first thing this morning, she said my niece passed out on the soccer field yesterday during practice and had to be taken to the hosiptal by ambulance. When my sister arrived at the hosiptal my niece was wake, and talking. The hosiptal couldnt find anything wrong so they called in the family doctor. He started ordering all these tests and talking about all the things if could be and what they were checking for, my sister started to cry and so did my niece, thats when my niece told the doctor that she has been for the past month making herself throw up after each meal. She has lost 34 lbs in a month, she is 12! As I sit here at work tryin not to cry I think about Christmas and how my Mom was telling her her butt and hips were getting big. My sis is like me MB, and I know she is on her daughter all the time cause she doesnt want her to be in the same shoes we are in but what have we done to this child? She was not heavy to start with, she is a beautiful child but what she must think of herself to be doing this. My sister wants to tell the school about it cause her daughter said some girls at school showed her how to do it but my mom saids no, it will make it harder on her daughter because of the peer pressure thing, OMG ya'll I dont know what advice to give my sister when she calls, ya'll please give me some feed back.......

I have always heard that it means.........You dont hide what you're feeling well. If you are sad everyone knows your sad, if your upset every knows it and so on.......instead of hiding your feeling deep down their on your sleeve for everyone to see.

Stacey I am right there with ya, but I didnt know that surgery was known to cause mood swings, I just thought I was finally loosing what little mind I hve left. I too have been "pissy" and weepy for awhile now. Oh some days I just want my husband to say something wrong so I can go off and release the beast....lol. Ok I am not Normal... I think I maybe experiencing food withdrawl, does that make any sense. I mean for me food was a drug. Now that I am trying, key word "trying" not to make bad choices with my food it is like my drug that has lost its power. Food was my best friend and now I feel almost betrayed. God does any of this make sense??

march 14 Sometimes you have to laugh when you really want to cry. I have really been taking a tough look at myself recently. Asking myself the hard questions that I always seem to want to avoid, not because I dont know the answers but because the answers tend to hurt too damn much. Tammy why have you allowed yourself to get so big, you know there is heart diease in your family, you know you lost your dad when he was 36 to a massive stroke, you know what fast food and sweets along with bread is doing to your body, do you want to die? Has anyone ever told you, "you can control the way you feel, you decide everyday when you get up whether or not your going to be happy or sad? I know they meant well, but did they not see all they were doing was making me feel like more of a failure. God I know I am suppose to be in control of my body and my mind so why do I fail at both? Ever been out some where actually having a good time and all of a sudden catch a glimpse of yourself in a window or a mirror? For me it is liking someone slapping me in the face saying " what are you doing having a good time, look at you". So I put on the fake smile and try to continue to have a good time. You know I have thought about seeing a shrink but unless he or she has been where I have I just dont see how they can help me, oh and give me something for depression, been there and done that with all the wonderful side effects. How did Oprah do it, she was abused as a child, and had some major issues in her life, so lets take away her millions, how does a working class woman do it?

march 14 Sometimes you have to laugh when you really want to cry. I have really been taking a tough look at myself recently. Asking myself the hard questions that I always seem to want to avoid, not because I dont know the answers but because the answers tend to hurt too damn much. Tammy why have you allowed yourself to get so big, you know there is heart diease in your family, you know you lost your dad when he was 36 to a massive stroke, you know what fast food and sweets along with bread is doing to your body, do you want to die? Has anyone ever told you, "you can control the way you feel, you decide everyday when you get up whether or not your going to be happy or sad? I know they meant well, but did they not see all they were doing was making me feel like more of a failure. God I know I am suppose to be in control of my body and my mind so why do I fail at both? Ever been out some where actually having a good time and all of a sudden catch a glimpse of yourself in a window or a mirror? For me it is liking someone slapping me in the face saying " what are you doing having a good time, look at you". So I put on the fake smile and try to continue to have a good time. You know I have thought about seeing a shrink but unless he or she has been where I have I just dont see how they can help me, oh and give me something for depression, been there and done that with all the wonderful side effects. How did Oprah do it, she was abused as a child, and had some major issues in her life, so lets take away her millions, how does a working class woman do it?

Please allow me to share my banding experience with you. I was banded on Feb 8th. I too had read and seen how easy people have had it so I was expecting the same, you see I have 3 girls, all by c-section and had major back surgery in 2001, so I know surgery and I know pain but I was no prepared for the pain after my banding. I too was like you, I went in shaking and as soon as I put on the gown started to cry. Thoughts of "am i doing the right thing, am I going to die here on this table, what is something goes wrong" ran through my head the entire time they were getting me ready. My husband was allowed to stay with me until they actually took me back into the surgery room. I wanted to scream " I changed my mind" but I knew I had to risk my life in order to try and save it. I had to be at the hosiptal at 7 am so I was one of the first ones banded that day, know what time I went home, 10pm that night, and the nurses werent sure they should let me go, they called the doctor just to make sure. The doctor told my husband that the surgery went very well but they werent sure why I was in so much pain. I cried several times that day, I told my husband I was sorry if I had known it was going to be like this I wouldnt have had it done. I had told work I would be back in 4 days, I didnt make it back for 10. I wont sit here and tell you the next couple of days will be easy, so they werent for me, I took pain meds for a week every day after my banding. I now have terrible mood swings and have gained 10lbs with no restrication. Would I do it again, ask me in 2 months. But we both have to know we did this in order to live, not because were vain and want to look good but b/c we want to live. So we take it day by day and support each other, some days are better than others. Just know your never alone, support and understanding is never more than a click on your keyboard.

What are you afraid of? Dying young Heart attacks stroke Never seeing my girls grown with families of their own Someone seeing me naked Resturant booths Failure Cloth shopping Loosing my hair Loosing my teeth Never being a normal size Job interveiwing Crowds Flying (small seats and smaller seat belts) one size fits all Does your fears motivate you or hold you back? The jury is still out for me.......I know what I am suppose to be doing, I just not sure why I don't do it. Is it fear of failure or something else?

There is one also at Chilton Hosiptal, I have been once and it was ok, I plan on going again the 16th of this month. Here is the site of my doctor, if you look under calendar of events it will tell ya when the meetings are taking place, they are very casual and free. Maybe I will see you there. March 16, 2006 5:30 - 6:30 pm LAP-BAND MONTHLY SUPPORT GROUP MEETING Special Guest Speaker: Dr. Joseph Fodero, M.D. TOPIC: Introduction to Plastic Surgery Please join us. Location: CLASSROOM B-COLLINS PAVILION AT CHILTON MEMORIAL HOSPITAL http://laparosurgery.com/

Many blessings of good health and fast healing Jonathan. I am so sorry you're having to go through this, know that you're in our thoughts and prayers.